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[hector13]

Second Puberty requires Second Breakfast.

[McTraveller]

Ugh I'm getting old.

One of my uncles just passed away. 

[BlackFlyme]

I'm sorry for your loss.


The landlady's cat is in pretty bad shape in its old age, but she's too embarrassed to take it to the vet. She's just going to let it rot away to nothing. Same as her last few pets.

[Great Order]

-snip-

Not on spiro. In fact, not starting an antiandrogen of any kind until my second set of blood tests are back because the endo wants to see if I can tolerate monotherapy. Failing that, it's GnRH injections into my arse.

And while I do Jitsu, that's four hours a week. Minimal exercise outside of that (Thanks, broken "exercise makes you feel good" system!) so I'm not exactly a fit person.

[Rolan7]

Dreamed a family member finally acknowledged my gender- except it was a trick to steal my HRT and attempt to financially ruin me so I'd be dependent again.  He kept acting "nice" in the most sarcastic way, and obviously felt like the victim here.

Annoyingly, this is a reminder that I need to go hang out with him again soon (or I'll feel bad).  In reality we're doing fine, he's actually quite nice.  He's basically dropped the gender thing which is better than when he kept "just asking questions" straight off Momsnet.

Anyway that dream hurt.  Almost as much as my toe.  Apparently my recent return to athleticism reopened an old nail-related issue there.  So I had to deal with *that* for a bit.

It was fucking disgusting and put me in the perfect state of mind to go join a Pokemon GO live event at the university gardens.  I did a shitty job shaving and skipped makeup altogether, and then the parking lots were both full so I was late anyway.  Literally nobody but me was wearing a mask despite the trails being thick with people.  I needed mine just for the dang allergens and the 40F air.  But like a bitch I took it off when I got to the Pokemon group, and hung around awkwardly nearby.  Eventually I gleaned that they'd already finished raiding (just 3 raids??) and were idly chatting.  I felt like a fucking dork.  I must have looked like one too because one nice guy with his kids approached me and asked if I needed a friend request for the event challenge, so we did that.  I appreciate his charity.  I got the hell out of there and sat in my car for a bit trying to clear my lungs and ignore the pain in my foot.

I really wanted to get some comfort food on the way home, but I made a bunch of healthy shit yesterday so I had leftovers instead.

On that note, yesterday I made a thin-crust pizza and it was *delicious* and healthy.  My housemate even liked it enough for seconds, that was felt good!  But, everyone I enthused to HAD to ask whether the sauce was "store bought".  And then helpfully explain how easy it is to make yourself by grinding up cherry tomatoes, and oh of course you wouldn't use garlic powder, that's a hilarious joke you just made, and you just need a cheesecloth and blah blah blah.

so yeah today I had rice with leftover pizza ingredients, including the dang store-bought pizza sauce.  it's actually pretty umami and good, I feel a bit better.

Spoiler: But apparently still upset!  upset about blood tests!! (CW: needles, trans shit) (click to show/hide)

OH except that my hormone dosage is apparently higher than normal charts go.  I try so hard not to absorb it sublingually instead of swallow, but my level was so low at 6 months that maybe I was fucking it up.  Maybe I'm still fucking it up.  I would know except that my health care provider has literally a 50-50 track record of taking my goddamn blood!!!
No, this is fucked actually:
0 months:  Fucked it up, so I don't know for a fact that I started at rock-bottom T
3 months: Everything went great, my E was good and my T was basically nil, and they didn't TELL me that that is NOT NORMAL WITHOUT BLOCKERS.  KINDA IMPORTANT INFO
*I become allergic to the injections were working so well, so they switch me to sublingual pills via telehealth*
6 months: Took the blood but nicked a nerve.  Glad I toughed it out, because my level had plummeted.  4mg/day had me down to 90 where 200-300 is desired.
*I had to avoid extending that arm for a week and a half or it would jolt painfully.  I went through Thanksgiving season looking like Napoleon.*
9 months: They fucked it up but NOT REALLY.  The second draw actually got a full vial of blood before it stopped flowing!  Yay!  "Okay, so you can test my E!"  I really want to see if my level is where it should be now.  It's actually kinda really frightening not knowing, and I want to know if I'm taking the pills correctly.
"No, we can't do that"  "Uh?  Wait, I don't really need the liver and AIC tests you did last time, I'm not on blockers and I know I'm not diabetic.  Can't you just test my E?"
"No, sorry" "okay... can you... try one more time >.<"
"We can't do three attempts   However!  If you go to LabCorp in person, they can do it for you." "...okay, thanks" don't question it, don't argue, just... ow... just 

anyway I didn't end up going to LabCorp just yet because both of the sites bruised up REAL bad, and my mom said "it's okay, they'll just use another site" "Like my wrist?" "Yeah probably"
soooo that was the end of my bravery, I just noped out.  then got pneumonia for 3 weeks.  and here I am.

Today I was mad enough to finally get it done, so I asked Google for LabCorps hours.  12AM to 12:30PM.  (That meant "from midnight to 10 minutes after when I asked, and I was 30 minutes away").  So yay.  Maybe I'll get it done Monday.  I better get it done Monday.

also I forgot to take my progesterone again last night so I took it this morning.  It doesn't make me sleepy but it sure makes me fucking emotional, maybe, I DON'T KNOW DO I SEEM EMOTIONAL TO YOU  
aww.  I really am crying a little.  that's nice actually.

[Rolan7]

oh also the upstairs bathtub is leaking through the floor.  I guess I need to figure out how to service that and also repair a ceiling

[Great Order]

Ha, made me think of my friend at university who wound up with holes in his bathtub.

Turns out a housemate had his girlfriend over. She was on the heavier side, and for some reason or other I can't remember, unable to get out of the tub. Genius McGee decided to get a chair and put it in the tub so she could use it to get out.

Combined weight of the chair and an obese individual sent all the legs of the chair through the tub. My friend called the other housemates and they then called the landlord. Landlord arrived, and my friend and every other housemate went out to get drunk, leaving Genius McGee alone to explain why he thought a chair was a great thing to put into a tub to the guy who was going to have to get it replaced.

[dragdeler]

bip bap

[saki]

For the last few months I've constantly been switching between being severely suicidal to feeling hopeful about the future. I thought I was past feeling suicidal and hopeless but I feel like I am slowly going back to it. Sometimes I do wish I was never born to ever experience these things, then I am reminded of other things in my life. I have stray cats that I take care of everyday and if I was gone, they would not feel so loved and happy. In a way they are something that is keeping me away from killing myself. I heard about this from other people before and I could not relate to it so much, but I do now. It is quite bittersweet.

Spoiler: cat (click to show/hide)

[Superdorf]

“I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"
Death thought about it.
CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.

I'm more of a bird person myself, but the sentiment stands
good strength <3

[nenjin]

For the last few months I've constantly been switching between being severely suicidal to feeling hopeful about the future. I thought I was past feeling suicidal and hopeless but I feel like I am slowly going back to it. Sometimes I do wish I was never born to ever experience these things, then I am reminded of other things in my life. I have stray cats that I take care of everyday and if I was gone, they would not feel so loved and happy. In a way they are something that is keeping me away from killing myself. I heard about this from other people before and I could not relate to it so much, but I do now. It is quite bittersweet.

Spoiler: cat (click to show/hide)

All I can say is, please reach out to others for help. Especially your friends and family. I know that their desire for you to keep living doesn't diminish your pain. But it's a reminder that what you do doesn't only affect you.

I wish my friend that committed suicide had tried to reach out to me before he did it. I and others would have told him that this too shall pass and that our lives were better with him in it, and his life better with us in it.

Good luck.

[Eric Blank]

Crashed my car. And totalled it. Think the axle snapped when I tried to swerve to avoid someone. Now it's a wreck and I get to sit here til 6pm for the tow truck or the sheriff will impound it immediately.

[McTraveller]

Yikes.  It's just machinery though, I assume you are personally fine?

[Frumple]

You're okay otherwise, at least, hopefully? Surviving a crash without major injury is always better than the alternative

... also good luck with the tow truck. Any luck it'll be cheaper for you than the last time I had to call one.

[Eric Blank]

I'm fine. I'm just stuck on the side of the road because of it