Warning: Wall o' text.
So, yesterday, I was bored yet again. I finished my lawschool homework, and nothing nothing else to do till college. So I get on msn and... Nothing, interesting friends are off, stupid friends are on, so I decided to play around in adventure mode.
The day before, I had tried playing an elven bowman, and had lots of fun actualy, but got killed by a mysterious goblin ranger, so I decided to do it again. And so, Ave Splatteredwind was born.
IRC, Ave started with ptoficient bowman, Skilled wrestler, competent ambusher, competent armor user and swimmer. I'm probably wrong, but it was something along those lines.
Ave started on an elven settlement to the north of the world. I walked around a bit and noticed I had no bow or arrows, but my stats were decent (very strong and agile), which was probably because of my wrestler skill. I decided to travel south, to the human lands were my previous elf had roamed, and sneaked into a town, were I stole myself two quivers filled with iron arrows and an exceptional iron bow with awesome engravings of a named cougar on it. Proud of my new possessions, I decided to take revenge on goblin kind.
So I head north again, but this time towards the evil mountains were the goblins erected several towers. I choose one named Spineplage and commence raiding, but unfortunely, the of that civ are peaceful, but I didn't care, I just wanted to kill some gobbos.
Walking around, Ifind a goblin child and carefully follow her, and she leads me to a goblin bowman, and I exam him from head to toe with me eyes. I start by grabbing the goblin's bow then wrestling it out of his hands, then I start beating him down with my sturdy iron bow, and after some broken bones, I finish him off with an arrow straight to the chest.
I continue north, sneaking, and find nothing more then 2 childs playing around, so I decide to snipe one. The shot pierces the child's shoulder, but then he spots me! Not the goblin child, but a goblin spearmaster who was patrolling nearby, his last name was Incestwatched, and he was pissed.
Thankfully, he was several paces away, so I take my time sniping the two children's legs, causing them to fall over and stop chasing me, but he is pretty agile, so he gets close fast, and I take a shot at him... And it runs his chest through! At that moment I knew I'd have lots of fun.
Fast foward a bit, I enter the tower and kill goblins as I head towards the top level, mostly children. When I get to the top though, I start to feel rather sadistic, I grievously injured some children in my way up, and the annoucement scream told me they were still alive apart from having an Iron arrow stuck in their guts, their organs pierced. Anyway, on the top I could see a goblin spearman and a child in my light of sight. I take a shot at the child, hitting her leg, and she falls over, while the guard charges toward me, so I take a shot at him, hit him in the lower body, piercing multiple organs, and he vomits. Thats when I started to get some sort of sadistic glee out of that stuff.
I slowly head towards the child as the spearman, desperately crawls towards me, trying to stand up. Imagining that the goblin spearman was watching the whole thing, I grab the child by the head and throw her at the ground again, and club her a bit with my bow till she gets some mangled\broken limbs. While she's unable to react, I start gouging her eyes out, while the spearman finally gets up on his feet and shambles closer, close enough to see me gouging her last eye out and dropping her squirming self on the ground, watching her agonize. The spearman gets close enough for an attack, and I graceously dodge it, letting him shamble close again, and then grab his spear, wrestling it out of his hands and throwing it aside.
The odd thing is, the heavy bleeding the child had somehow stopped, and she was now trying to stand up, and failing at it. Feeling even more sadistical, I start clubbing down the spearman a bit, till he gets some mangled legs and a battered chest. Then I decided to grab him by the head, and gouge one of his eyes, only one though, so he can still watch the whole thing, and somehow he also survives his heavy bleeding for long enough for it to stop.
The spearman craws around, ocasionaly giving in to the massive pain and squirming on the obsidian floor, and I leave him a bit to see if theres anyone else around and it turns out there is: A female goblin armorer spots me and charges towards the carnage, but shoot an arrow at her and somehow it breaks her brain and gets stuck in it, and she falls over. I go back to the spearman, now trying to stand up, watching the horribly injured blind child trying to stand up, and prance around him a bit, soon enough noticing the spear I left on the floor, putting away my bow and grabbing it. I slowly walk towards the child, planning to impale it in front of the spearman's one eyes gaze, but to my surprise, the broken headed armorer is now charging at me! "What the hell", I thought, "she was uncounciouss just a minute ago!" So I decide to finish her by throwing the spear at her, which I spectaculary fail at. Then she beats me over the head with a gauntled, getting me uncounciouss, starts beating on me all over, and the spearman craws towards me and smashes my head in with his shield.
I was killed by an armorer with an arrow stuck in her brain and a goblin with several broken limbs, one eye and a heavily wounded lower body including pierced stomack\pancreas, both unarmed.
Also, the blind, heavily wounded child survived.
I've just been remembered of why I love this game.