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[Sysice]

"Urist! Breathe through your beard!"
I know what will replace carp as the main enemy of a fortress after the next release. Doors.

[Quatch]

But then we'd have to put in doors that normally sigh when opened.

Did the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation set up in your fort?

[Warlord255]

I actually had a dwarf that was so tough once, that he survived long enough for the season to change and his mangled throat healed, he survived at least 5 dwarf days without being able to breathe, he was even walking around and finishing off the sieges. 

Dear holy skull-demanding Armok. That's amazing.

[HLBeta]

Door cancels breathe:  Too injured.

I can see this being an amazing new glitch after the healthcare rewrites go in.

Urist McDoctor: This door... IT'S NOT BREATHING!
Urist McSurgeon: By Armok! We'll have to operate immediately!
[sounds of magma-powered surgical chainsaw cutting through door's epidermis]
Urist McDoctor: I fear we were too late, this door has no pulse. Send for a coffin.
Urist McChampion has bled out due to a lack of available medical personnel.

[Servu]

I once had a random (non-military) dwarf bleed to death in the middle of the hall. There were no enemies around and the area where his corpse was was surrounded by bloodstains. He was carrying a door.

I had this happen to me too! Some forts back one of my stonecrafters (a crappy one, used as a hauler slave, had never been in combat) indeed started to bleed all over my entrance hall and suffocate. I can't recall if she was carrying a door, but that was in a time when I was mass producing doors, so it is plausible. Didn't think much of it back then.

[Haspen]

When I seen the topic, I imagined: " , Basalt Door, has suffocated."

Maybe it's about wieght? Crushing the backs of dwarves, and also their lungs?

[Nexii Malthus]

If it is the weight, I haven't had any problems moving around a dozen steel anvils.

[Bricks]

Clearly it's an Easter egg where your fort becomes an evil version of Pee Wee's playhouse, and the furniture starts strangling everyone.

[Quietust]

Door cancels breathe:  Too injured.

I can see this being an amazing new glitch after the healthcare rewrites go in.

Urist McDoctor: This door... IT'S NOT BREATHING!
Urist McSurgeon: By Armok! We'll have to operate immediately!
[sounds of magma-powered surgical chainsaw cutting through door's epidermis]
Urist McDoctor: I fear we were too late, this door has no pulse. Send for a coffin.
Urist McChampion has bled out due to a lack of available medical personnel.

It's a good thing I wasn't drinking anything, otherwise you'd owe me a new keyboard.