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Author Topic: My new fortress artifacts...  (Read 2688 times)

Rainseeker

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My new fortress artifacts...
« on: November 13, 2009, 05:48:15 pm »

This fortress I'm playing sure is a happy place!  Take a look at the first two (and as of yet only) artifacts:

Relonilir, The Royal Joy:  A green tourmaline piccolo
Valued at 51,600.  Described as encircled with bands of Green tourmaline and Brown jasper.  On the item is an image of a rope reed in turtle shell.

Kubukilir, Lancejoy:  A magnetite trumpet
Valued at 28,800.  Described as encrusted with Magnetite.  This object menaces with spikes of Magnetite.

It's a joy to lance yourself while you play a trumpet?    :-\

I found it funny that both used "joy" in the description.  I wonder how common is it that it would use the same word like that...

Also the guy who made the trumpet became a legendary engraver from it.  Go figure.
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Dakk

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Re: My new fortress artifacts...
« Reply #1 on: November 13, 2009, 08:07:14 pm »

It has an image of a rope reed on turtle shell rather then a image of a turtle on rope reed. DWARVEN LOGIC.
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Rainseeker

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Re: My new fortress artifacts...
« Reply #2 on: November 13, 2009, 11:30:41 pm »

Hilarious, huh?  Here is what Toady One said to me over email:

> Kubukilir, Lancejoy:  A magnetite trumpet
> Valued at 28,800.  Described as encrusted with Magnetite.  This object
> menaces with spikes of Magnetite.
>
> It's a joy to lance yourself while you play a trumpet?

I guess that's why they stuck the spikes on there.  Maybe somebody
controls it with a magnet nearby or something.

> I found it funny that both used "joy" in the description.  How common is it
> that it would use the same word like that?

The first artifact set up two words to hit (royal and joy), and
assuming the next artifact has two words, you have to dodge the bullet
twice.  So the overall probability to have a hit would be something
like 1-(word total-2)/(word total)*(word total-2)/(word total).  If we
say there are 1000 eligible words, then that's 1-998/1000*998/1000, or
0.4%.  So uncommon, something you'd expect to see every 250 games or
so with your first two artifacts.

Tarn
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Kobold6

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Re: My new fortress artifacts...
« Reply #3 on: November 13, 2009, 11:38:14 pm »

Dwarven statistics: When something is considered unlikely, the presence of dwarves increases the likelyhood of the unusual event occuring.
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Rainseeker

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Re: My new fortress artifacts...
« Reply #4 on: November 13, 2009, 11:53:22 pm »

Dwarven statistics: When something is considered unlikely, the presence of dwarves increases the likelyhood of the unusual event occuring.

Agreed:  I present you all with the irrefutable evidence of killer carp.  Also of dwarves willing to die for socks.
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Kobold6

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Re: My new fortress artifacts...
« Reply #5 on: November 14, 2009, 12:10:42 am »

Dwarven statistics: When something is considered unlikely, the presence of dwarves increases the likelyhood of the unusual event occuring.

Agreed:  I present you all with the irrefutable evidence of killer carp.  Also of dwarves willing to die for socks.

And that's just the tip of the iceberg. My favourite thing in adventure mode is being able to take water out of a waterskin, throw it such that it spins, and then watch it break the arm of my target.


> Kubukilir, Lancejoy: A magnetite trumpet
> Maybe somebody controls it with a magnet nearby or something.

That's a really hilarious concept, mostly because it's remotely plausable.
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Drug_unit

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Re: My new fortress artifacts...
« Reply #6 on: November 14, 2009, 02:47:53 am »

Dwarven statistics: When something is considered unlikely, the presence of dwarves increases the likelyhood of the unusual event occuring.

Mind if i sig that :)
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Dwarven statistics: When something is considered unlikely, the presence of dwarves increases the likelyhood of the unusual event occuring.

GENERATION 29:
The first time you see this, copy it into your signature on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

Besides, it's somehow enjoyable to think of groundhogs stacked to the very top of a cage and flooding out to kill.

Rainseeker

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Re: My new fortress artifacts...
« Reply #7 on: November 14, 2009, 03:35:48 am »


And that's just the tip of the iceberg. My favourite thing in adventure mode is being able to take water out of a waterskin, throw it such that it spins, and then watch it break the arm of my target.


Okay, there are so many things wrong about this sentence that I don't know where to begin...

First off, WHAT iceberg? 

Secondly, water spinning?  Is it made of the previously mentioned iceberg? 

Thirdly, I think that spinning water is awesome.  How do you make it spin?

...which I suppose is bad, because it shows I don't want bugs to be fixed.  Somewhat.
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Rilder

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Re: My new fortress artifacts...
« Reply #8 on: November 14, 2009, 04:23:59 am »

For some reason I imagined a squirt gun that rips peoples face off.
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Kobold6

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Re: My new fortress artifacts...
« Reply #9 on: November 14, 2009, 10:07:36 am »

First off, WHAT iceberg? 

Secondly, water spinning?  Is it made of the previously mentioned iceberg? 

Thirdly, I think that spinning water is awesome.  How do you make it spin?

...which I suppose is bad, because it shows I don't want bugs to be fixed.  Somewhat.

Throwing water melted from the metaphorical iceburg of dwarf fort's unlikely occurances would be awesome, perhaps its unworldly consistency of perpetual motion machines and ever-warm magma gives it enough surface tension to spin without spraying water everywhere.

Edit: Yes I know these things are actually impossible and not just unlikely. But it's amusing non the less.
« Last Edit: November 14, 2009, 10:37:31 am by Kobold6 »
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Stargrasper

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Re: My new fortress artifacts...
« Reply #10 on: November 14, 2009, 01:08:30 pm »

Edit: Yes I know these things are actually impossible and not just unlikely. But it's amusing non the less.

I'm disappointed in you...letting the impossible stop you in Dwarf Fortress.  We LIVE off the impossible...mostly because Toady hasn't gotten around to programming most of the possible stuff yet.
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Hamdinger

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Re: My new fortress artifacts...
« Reply #11 on: November 16, 2009, 12:05:54 am »

I'm disappointed in you...letting the impossible stop you in Dwarf Fortress.  We LIVE off the impossible...mostly because Toady hasn't gotten around to programming most of the possible stuff yet.

Kick reason to the curb and go beyond the impossible, that's the Gurren- err... Dwarf Fortress way!
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Quantum Toast

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Re: My new fortress artifacts...
« Reply #12 on: November 16, 2009, 12:43:03 pm »

I'm disappointed in you...letting the impossible stop you in Dwarf Fortress.  We LIVE off the impossible...mostly because Toady hasn't gotten around to programming most of the possible stuff yet.

Kick reason to the curb and go beyond the impossible, that's the Gurren- err... Dwarf Fortress way!
I have a sudden urge to pierce the heavens with an Enormous Corkscrew.
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That would be as deadly to the wielder as to anyone else!  You'd sever your own arm at the first swing!  It's perfect!

Pandarsenic

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Re: My new fortress artifacts...
« Reply #13 on: November 16, 2009, 03:14:15 pm »

I'm disappointed in you...letting the impossible stop you in Dwarf Fortress.  We LIVE off the impossible...mostly because Toady hasn't gotten around to programming most of the possible stuff yet.

Kick reason to the curb and go beyond the impossible, that's the Gurren- err... Dwarf Fortress way!
I have a sudden urge to pierce the heavens with an Enormous Corkscrew.
Once my map's wood grows back I need to make a screwpump tower to pierce the heavens.
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Errol

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Re: My new fortress artifacts...
« Reply #14 on: November 16, 2009, 03:41:16 pm »

Oh, and make the corkscrews out of steel, at the very least.

Olon Workclasped is a dubious worshipper of Kadima Drillpierced the Pointy Shades.
Kadima Drillpierced the Pointy Shades is a deity that most often takes the form of a skeletal drillphant. He is associated with dwarves, magma, enormous corkscrews and awesomeness.
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