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Author Topic: Dwarven Strip Club?  (Read 52692 times)

ArneHD

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Dwarven Strip Club?
« on: November 27, 2009, 07:59:16 am »

I got a dwarf in a cage with the annual goblin invasion. At first I didn't really think too much about it, it was only when I realised that I couldn't pit him I thought what the hell, and put him in my dining room. After stripping him of anything useful of course. But I thought I could improve the value of the room by putting him in a golden cage. I couldn't transfer him, so I recaptured him with a cage trap. It was at this point that I realised that "he" was in fact "she". More disturbing, several children have organized parties at "Dwarf cage (golden)". Have I made a dwarven strip club?
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Doomshifter

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Re: Dwarven Strip Club?
« Reply #1 on: November 27, 2009, 09:19:23 am »

I got a dwarf in a cage with the annual goblin invasion. At first I didn't really think too much about it, it was only when I realised that I couldn't pit him I thought what the hell, and put him in my dining room. After stripping him of anything useful of course. But I thought I could improve the value of the room by putting him in a golden cage. I couldn't transfer him, so I recaptured him with a cage trap. It was at this point that I realised that "he" was in fact "she". More disturbing, several children have organized parties at "Dwarf cage (golden)". Have I made a dwarven strip club?

By the gods! Those children are staring at your naked stripper. You should be ashamed.

... Kitten burning is a moral activity and you know it.
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Right now Rampages seem to be Godzilla quietly walking into Tokyo, biting the leg off of one reporter... then creeping off again without a sound.

TigerPlushie

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Re: Dwarven Strip Club?
« Reply #2 on: November 27, 2009, 09:32:34 am »

Why, this is pretty much awesome...
...

"Oooh... Nice beard on that one..."
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Dwarf cancelled making adamantium short sword: Strange mood.
Dwarf has entered a marital trance!
...
Dwarf has claimed a bedroom.

Sliver Barb

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Re: Dwarven Strip Club?
« Reply #3 on: November 27, 2009, 09:37:40 am »

Why, this is pretty much awesome...
...

"Oooh... Nice beard on that one..."

I know when you said 'beard' you were probably referring to the hair growing on the dwarf's face, but... AGH... MY EYES...!
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ArneHD

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Re: Dwarven Strip Club?
« Reply #4 on: November 27, 2009, 10:43:56 am »

Why, this is pretty much awesome...
...

"Oooh... Nice beard on that one..."

I know when you said 'beard' you were probably referring to the hair growing on the dwarf's face, but... AGH... MY EYES...!

Brain bleach! I need brain bleach!
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They Got Leader

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Re: Dwarven Strip Club?
« Reply #5 on: November 27, 2009, 01:28:49 pm »

*Pulls out a magnum and blows out brains*
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wagawaga

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Re: Dwarven Strip Club?
« Reply #6 on: November 27, 2009, 03:22:29 pm »

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Beanchubbs

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Re: Dwarven Strip Club?
« Reply #7 on: November 27, 2009, 03:35:03 pm »

Why, this is pretty much awesome...
...

"Oooh... Nice beard on that one..."

I know when you said 'beard' you were probably referring to the hair growing on the dwarf's face, but... AGH... MY EYES...!

*shutters and gags*
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Yikes, the Orcs have a nasty language.  Traditional foreplay would be right out for them; how would they ever "say my name" for one another?  No wonder Ocrs are always so bloodthirsty and violent, they're getting sub-par action.

Gergination

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Re: Dwarven Strip Club?
« Reply #8 on: November 27, 2009, 04:12:23 pm »

Nobody in my fortress has any clothes, ever.  I haven't made a single article of clothing since starting (to avoid item clutter).  My dwarves aren't naked though.  They are covered in a 5 inch thick coating of vomit, mud, and blood.
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With [SLOW_LEARNER], dwarves probably don't sit around and talk anymore. They just stand in the same corner altogether, staring at each other, sticking their bearded lips out trying to make sounds. And giggling when someone actually says a whole word.

Blackburn

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Re: Dwarven Strip Club?
« Reply #9 on: November 27, 2009, 05:27:39 pm »

Why, this is pretty much awesome...
...

"Oooh... Nice beard on that one..."

I know when you said 'beard' you were probably referring to the hair growing on the dwarf's face, but... AGH... MY EYES...!
Why did you put that in my head?!

WHY DID YOU PUT THAT IN MY HEAD?!
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Grendus

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Re: Dwarven Strip Club?
« Reply #10 on: November 27, 2009, 06:39:37 pm »

Why, this is pretty much awesome...
...

"Oooh... Nice beard on that one..."

I know when you said 'beard' you were probably referring to the hair growing on the dwarf's face, but... AGH... MY EYES...!

I'm going to blow my brains out, then come and kill you.

Wait, that came out wrong.
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warhammer651

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Re: Dwarven Strip Club?
« Reply #11 on: November 27, 2009, 06:43:31 pm »

Why, this is pretty much awesome...
...

"Oooh... Nice beard on that one..."

I know when you said 'beard' you were probably referring to the hair growing on the dwarf's face, but... AGH... MY EYES...!

I'm going to blow my brains out, then come and kill you.

Wait, that came out wrong.

no. no it didn't. the sheer horror of that image has been ingrained deep within your subconscious. Thus, you will become a zombie, spreading the image to all that you attack, turning them into more zombies.
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TheDJ17

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Re: Dwarven Strip Club?
« Reply #12 on: November 27, 2009, 07:04:53 pm »

Why, this is pretty much awesome...
...

"Oooh... Nice beard on that one..."

I know when you said 'beard' you were probably referring to the hair growing on the dwarf's face, but... AGH... MY EYES...!

I'm going to blow my brains out, then come and kill you.

Wait, that came out wrong.

no. no it didn't. the sheer horror of that image has been ingrained deep within your subconscious. Thus, you will become a zombie, spreading the image to all that you attack, turning them into more zombies.
Then those zombies will turn even more people into zombies until only the retired champion, a warthog rider, the fortress scribe, and a random female dwarf are left... 4 dead.
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Sysice

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Re: Dwarven Strip Club?
« Reply #13 on: November 27, 2009, 08:24:17 pm »

*twitchtwitch*

What would the zombies say?
"Relief from the picture..."
"Replacement brains..."
"Brain bleach..."
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I managed to make a dog that bled bees.
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warhammer651

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Re: Dwarven Strip Club?
« Reply #14 on: November 27, 2009, 08:47:11 pm »

BRAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNN..........bleach!



warhammer651 cancels post: bitten by Grendus

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Tell me your mother isn't a Great Old One, please.
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