Ever had one of those moments... those evil moments that make you feel like some kind of deranged god? Or is the deranged god state more of a rule for you? If you have, then you had a POINT AND LAUGH moment. They come unexpectedly... but usually when you've allowed your dwarves' well-being to go into the shitter, and are wildly screaming "DANCE MONKEY, DANCE!" at your screen whenever another one keels over from mistreatment.
What are some POINT AND LAUGH moments you've had? Take a moment to reflect on these moments, share them with your fellow forumites, and be sure to punctuate with "POINT AND LAUGH" whenever appropriate.
Here's my story. I know it's long, but it's not as long as it looks, and in my opinion is rather amusing.
Catoblepas and I have been working on a fort as of late. Our goal was to make a shantytown-type deal: we embarked on a site with an aquifer, magma, sand, and lots of wood. We hardly use any stone: all of our aboveground constructions were made of either wood or glass. Our fortress was initially just a wooden palisade wall with a wooden lean-to here and there. Eventually, we built up a massive castle in the middle for the soon-to-come nobles. All was well, even the laborers in the slums were content.
It all started when I was setting up a few new shanties for some new immigrants. All of the laborers were gathering wood for the structures outside the fort, when a woodcutter gets ambushed. Yep, you guessed it, it's the Legendary Woodcutter who has like twenty friends. Of course, he looks around quickly, interrogates his Dwarven Common Sense index, does a little quick pathfinding, and runs... RIGHT INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE AMBUSH. The ungrateful bastard.
Four seconds and one woodcutter later, the ambush swarms about the entrance to the palisade. I scramble five champion wrestlers... well, two champions, two couch potatoes, and an invalid who has until now escaped my attention. But no matter. The champions actually do quite well; as they hurl themselves onto the spearpoints of the leering goblins, they actually manage to kill one or two of them. Shit. I forgot to train them in shield usage.
To make a long story short, the couch potatoes haul their fat asses out of bed and dispose of the remaining three ambushes... after letting them skewer ten or so workers. I decide to allow the fort to descend in an epic tantrum spiral and reclaim.
A few months later, a snatcher snatches a bearded bundle that someone left in the baggage claim... err, the courtyard. The family is undoubtedly heartbroken.
POINT AND LAUGH.A kobold steals a mediocre wood idol artifact that someone
ordered to be dumped outside. The creator repeatedly hurtles himself off of a 2 Z-level drop until he dies of thirst.
POINT AND LAUGH.The farms lie fallow, and for some mystifying reason (F), no one can bring themselves to drink any of the booze.
POINT AND LAUGH.Half a dozen celebrity dwarves are lost forever due to a drawbridge malfunction. The families are anguished that there aren't any identifiable pieces left over to put into a coffin.
Another goblin assault force arrives, this one made entirely of CROSSBOW GOBLINS. Dwarves drop like mosquitoes until a makeshift military mops up the mess, with more casualties.
A Titan is drawn by the sounds of dwarves squealing in rage as masterwork crafts are hurtled in every direction and statues are toppled. All available dwarves are scrambled to defend against the threat.
Well, all except for the actual military dwarves, who are loitering around the bed of their superior, who is nursing a broken hand from the most recent goblin ambush.
Dwarves are punted across the courtyard by the Titan to join the flurry of items thrown by rioters. Amidst the chaos, the Captain of the Guard systematically moves from dwarf to dwarf, cracking their skulls with a single blow from his Ultra-Mighty fist.
POINT AND LAUGH.Somehow, the rookies manage to hold off the (size 100) Titan until it collapses from exhaustion. The Guard Captain briefly pauses to tear its throat out before braining the next criminal.
Somehow, most of the dwarves calm down (or are splattered across the courtyard by the Guard Captain.) It would appear that the dozen or so surviving dwarves have a chance to rebuild the fort from the ruins, but the
Powers That Be would much rather have a cruel laugh than a happy ending.
Everyone else mysteriously falls off a bridge into a pit of magma. Everyone except two or three dwarves, who are butchered by goblins while getting a drink from a murky, bloodied pool.
The end.
Point and laugh.
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Topic: POINT AND LAUGH. (Read 1113 times)