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[Ze Spy]

so , i was bored , and decided to play some adventure mode , THEN i came up with this , since the elves conquer the world(LITTERSIZE 9000:9000) and i have an urge to type , i present you elvesgetmurdered , a adventure community game , my team will hold up to 9 adventurers , and the members are YOU! i will need nine players to sign up(there are ten if you count me) , they can hold one legendary skill , two skilled skill , and six (no label) skill

please sign up in this form :
name :
skills :
gender :
race :

also , there are important parts where vote is opened , like attacking a elven retreat which contains OVER NINE MILLION elves

NOTE : also , most of the adventure will be focused on killing elves , so be prepared to enjoy the elven slaughter once the story begains

[Ze Spy]

no ones joining? then i go solo :

Pre-story :

the lands of gomathur has always been conquered by elves , thousand resisted , thousands fell as the elves merclessly surround their enemies and killed them , it was not until 237 granite , 13 , when a group of ten adventurers were ordered to the dwaven king's throne , when they arrived , they found the king sitting on his throne , looking angry but still appeared to be happy , when the king saw them , they shouted at them to stand on the middle line , then said : the elves have been fearlessly ruling over us , We shall destroy the mother !@#$ing elves and mass them into our slaves!
"but how are we going to manage destroying them? there are too many of them , and we will never manage to kill the masses surrounding us , before we fall down due to exsaustion , like the rest did!" spoke up screncist , the groups legendary wrestler
the king replied : "you do realise that you are armed with adamatine armor and weapons? they are deadly and offer the best protection"
"but-" zetrix , the leader of the team , tried to speak up , but was interuped by the king : "NO IFS OR BUTTS , THEY MUST DIE , EVEN IF WE WILL DIE!" the king yelled it So loud that the team jumped back , weapons and shields ready , then clammed down and holstered the weapons back in , but the shields are still in defence prosition. the king shouted again : "DO YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID? OR DO I HAVE TO REPEAT?" the team bunched together and held their shields at the king , xertia whispered into zetrix's ear "should we tell the king we will kill the elves? i am not a good speaker , see , so maybe that sentence will do" zetrix agreed , lowered his shield down , then told the king "we will conquer over the elves and turn them into ashes , they will not have even a single kind on this planet!" , the king was pleased with his courage , and asked them if they would empty the nearby forests and clear the elves, but not burn the trees down , they need to chop it down , the team obeyed the order and set of for the nearest forest retreat , with the entire team gasping for air , everyone agreed that they made it in time not to get chopped into halves by the guards.

[silhouette]

please sign up in this form : NEVER
name : Silhouette
skills : legendary: hamma, skilled: armor user and shield user. Unnamed (theyre just like swimmer and ambusher right?): Ambusher, swimmer, wrestler, ... dont know what else...
gender : male
race : Hummy.

[Ze Spy]

CHAPTER 1 : magical expriences

it was only a few seconds the time they exited the throne , when a random elven noble rushed over and demanded a steel sword be added to his collection , a unnamed hammerman in the team chucked the noble out of the window , and suddenly goes crazy and demands to be named "Silhouette" ,  everyone stared at him for a minute , then zetrix said it was a waste of time staring at him , THEN another noble elf runs over and demands a wooden hammer , "for what" , zetrix asked him , " we don't even have a single wood" but the noble would not listen , and had his back looking at them , screncist just ran up , grab his head , then gouge his eyeballs out , before silhouette ran over and knocked the noble out of the entrance , everyone cheered as the noble flew and left a trail of blood , then zetrix suddenly grabbed his crossbow and shot at a random elf running up to them , and said : "WE TAKE NO ORDERS FROM ELVES"
they continued to walk to the entrance , when they left , however , screncist asked " how are we gotta deal with the masses? its not like we don't get tired"
Silhouette replied : "easy , we go in there , then chuck every elf in there out of the park
zetrix raised a objection : "you notice there are thousands of them? i say a fiery forest opti-
xertia interupted zetrix : " we will need the forest intact , the king said that they are going to fell the trees , they don't even have a single wood! maybe i can just go to that magic shop there and buy a anti-elf bomb
then , everyone said : "magic?" then bursted out in laughter "the owner is surely a elven trickster , theres no such things as magic!"
xertia said quietly : "well , i just go in and but a anti-elf bomb and a fire spliter"
at this time , the team(except xertia) laughted so hard that they almost fell on the floor!
xertia said nothing , and goes into the shop , then comes back out with two strange tubes
zetrix said : "you know , stop joking u-"
before he could finish the sentence , however , xertia threw one of the tubes and it out blew a fire string , the team were stunned by the flame-splitting , then , zetrix yelled everyone to get under shelter , "its raining fire!" Silhouette shouted , then looked back at the stunned members of the anti-elf . "well , maybe we were wrong to say magic is fake" zetrix said with a heavy sigh.....

also , Silhouette , i put one of the notag skills into sword , the next one will contain everyone having a sword as backup , as for the two more skills.. well , i don't know(also , the tube was a modified item , with 10 types , i promise the next chapter will contain lots of action and gore and less of talking and boring stuff)

[calrogman]

name : Joseph Ducreux

skills :  Legendary axeman, skilled shield user, skilled armour user, swimmer, wrestler, ambusher, swordsman, hammerman and pikeman
(the last three are my contingency plan, should any females attempt to draw my attention while my axe is outwith arms reach)

gender : Male

race : Human

Here's a picture of Joseph.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Funk]

name :zorsto the destroyer of wood
skills : legendary: lasher(no stuck in for me.), skilled: wrestler and shield user.
Ambusher, swimmer,armor user
Gender : male
race : Human.

[Ze Spy]

i added you two in....
i just started the second chapter

[Ze Spy]

CHAPTER 2 : frigging elves

as they approached the forest , weapons and shields up , zetrix said : "right , men , we are ambushing and picking them off one by one , instead of nine vs 1000 style , any giant groups , the anti-elf bomb can do it."
they all nodded and agreed , and stayed low to prevent getting seen , before Zorsto Pointed to a Tree and said : " theres one big tree over there , what about we hide in it?"
"i don't think so , we are clearly visible in trees" zetrix spoke up
"you notice its large?" spoke up one of the members "joseph"
"whatever , lets just hide in there" , then , the team hid in the large tree ,  after five minutes zetrix spotted the druid with two elves going below their tree , Silhouette dropped from the tree and turned one of the elves into tooth paste , the other elf tried to grab his wooden sword , but was stopped in his tracks by zetrix's stray bolt  , the rest then came out of the tree and surrounded the druid.
"go back to your stupid main forest and stop terroising the world , you dumbass" insulted zorsto
"bu-bu-but ... i am onl-onl-only con-control thi-this fo-fore-forest!" the druid said
"but we don't care , either" said screncist who then proceeded to gouge the druid's eyes out , then break all his limbs
suddenly , a loud scream came up the north , followed by hundreds of elves rushing , xertia just threw the anti-elf bomb , but what they did not realise , is that there are more elves from the south , and the north is blocked with thousands of trees , and so are east and west
"We are Screwed!" screncist Screamed
then , zetrix screamed back "not yet! theres only a hundred of them , and this elf has lots of wooden bolts , which i can use to poke out the eyes of some of the elves and kill a few of them , and i have 100 iron bolts , anyway"
"Yes! More Elf Killing!" Silhouette said and smashed a elf , causing limbs and blood flying everywhere and causing terror through the ranks of the elven army
"whatever" zetrix said and shot a elf right in the brains
"i don't ussaly kill more of this guys" joseph added in the tune while slicing elves into halves
"lets have a competiton , how many guts and limbs can we cause flying everywhere?" xertia asked
" a total of 1000 , i am a lashar!" replied zorsto
" look at you , i mean , look at you , you , suck!" Silhouette yelled at the elves
when the elves were cleared , the team counted their kills :
Silhouette : 42
Joseph : 20
zorsto : 15(gutted all the elf he killed)
xertia : 1023(remember that anti-elf bomb? its counted)
zetrix : 25(-10 for hiding behind everyone and shooting)
screncist : 1(druid only)
the rest did not kill anyone , but just watched the six kill the elves , when they went back to the throne of the king and reported the elves dead , he gave xertia a masterpiece adamatine long sword to replace her short sword , replenished zetrix's stack of bolts with 500 bolts , gave Silhouette a great adamatine hammer , and zorsto a scrouge , plus a big hammer to joseph , and handed everyone a short steel sword with a holster as a backup weapon incase of any stuck-ins(or for fast kills , zorsto almost died because he  took ten rounds to kill an elf)
"and now" the king added " to celebrate the death of the nearby elves!
then , they and 500 others went in the meeting hall , where the king told everybody what happened , then , they cheered , and celebrated...
then they got drunk all day , south to north , east to west


EDIT : fixed some errors

[silhouette]

gave Silhouette a great adamatine hammer

hahahahaha oh shit.
I won naturally without magic.

[Ze Spy]

thats the result of me going all batshit and adding all different kinds of styles for different weapons(including a magic sword that does OVAR NINE THOUSAND damage)

[Ze Spy]

(now thats a long time without a update)

As the Team Stood On A Tower And Watched out for elven intruders , due to boredom , Silhouette decided to strike up a discussion "hey , why don't we get off this tower and get some wine?" when Zortso Yelled at him to be smarter , "why" came the reply , Joseph told Silhouette "Zetrix Lodged a pipe full of fire in the only place in this fortress with liquor , where do you think we are going to get wine?" "We will Get Wine When The Elves are Purged from this Wor-" Screncist said but before he could finish it ,  a wooden bolt which was flying at 700MPS hit him in the body , "WHERE THE HELL DID THAT COME FROM?" Xertia Screamed , The Reply was "Very far away!" , when the entire team looked at the marksdwarf and asked how can he confrim that "He Was Shot Before We Heard The Fire" , when Zortso made everyone wonder by saying "that weapon was so strong that it doesn't even seem like a elven weapon , i mean , it went through Screncist and hit my hand"
"Stop Shittin' me , I have saw this weapon before , its wasn't a bastalie ether , its was a 2m long weapon with a barrel that shot bolts at very high velocity , and few elven markselve have it , fortuneletly , it takes years to reload that weapon , and it makes a loud noise thats enough to lure many people to it , and the bolt it fires is so expensive that the elve might have ran away aready" zetrix told everyone while trying to fix his jammed crossbow , when screams can be heard from Joseph "THEY ARE COMING!" followed up by Xertia screaming "INCOMING FROM F***KING EVERYWHERE"
"Bad News" said a hammerdwarf as he climbed up the stairs "there are over a million elven soldiers storming this fortress , along with a hundred giant eagles" everyone froze , and the tower broke into slience , when Zetrix Broke the slience "if there are a hundred giant eagles , the tree nazis might want this fortress pretty bad , has the army mobilised yet?"
no one needs to speak , as the fortress doors flung open and a hundred dwarfs in full adamatine armor charged to meet the elves , before even a minute starting from the battle , everyone could see that it was aready a blood fest with millions of limbs and gibs flying all over the place , no one (except Zetrix) could aim their crossbows and bows well , as blood keep repeatedly flying into their faces and the occasional hand will block the bolt , Zetrix , thanks to his patience and percision with the crossbow , managed to snipe the elves and assist the dwarfs , everyone else just shot aimlessly through the blood and some lucky shots connected , but most just flew and hit the ground , as the battle raged on , 20 marksdwarfs joined the fray in the tower , real chaos ensured as the air get filled with bolts , the giant eagles quickly retreated , and so did the dwarfs war dogs , "animals flee this hell , only men endure" was what came to Zetrix's mind , he just remembered that ancient quote after seeing them running away
more Soldiers decided to join the fray in the battlefields , Zetrix Spotted something horrific that will mark the start of something more horrific , Human Armies which marked the start of a World War , they charged down and fought the elves from behind , diverting the elven forces into two , when goblin warcries started streaming down , and goblins are seen fighting elven reinforcements , but ignoring the humans and dwarfs that were right next to them , when the fight ended , no one even bothered to bash anyones brains in , but just starred at each other , when the goblin demon Zruitz , the Dwarven King Zasit , And the Human King Vasdit meet in the middle of the battlefield , everyone knew its a peace negoitation

[r3d5kull]

please sign up in this form :
name : Johann Shmidt
skills : Legendary Bowman, Skilled Wrestler, Skilled Spearman, Thrower, Swimmer, Ambusher, Shield User, Armor User, Swordsman
gender : Male
race : Human

[CrossBolt]

Ha seems like an awesome idea

Race: Human
Gender: Male
Profession: Adept Axeman, proficient wrestler, Skilled shield user, Competant armour user, swimmer, Ambusher

If possible, not too overpwowered

[Urist McOverlord]

Name: Overlord
Skills:
       Legendary Macedwarf
       Skilled Wrestler
       Skilled Armor User
       Swimmer, Shield User, Ambusher, Swordsdwarf, Speardwarf, Hammerdwarf

Gender: Male
Race: DWARVEN!!

If possible, could I get the custom profession of "Cleric?"

[Ze Spy]

It wasn't long before everyone remembers about Screncist and turned to look at their wounded friend , he managed to stop the heavy bleeding , but he was wounded so much that he wasn't able to walk properly , everyone walked up to him and inspected the wound , when a macedwarf walked up the stairs and asked " are you guys the anti-elven team that the king keeps bragging about?" "Yes" came form everybody , "I am Overlord , macelord and also a Wrestler in the process , and i am quite intrested to join this "anti-elven team" thing"
"You May , the more the easier and better , now , are you sure you want to join? we have no outside assistance and we are a small team , making it quite dangerous , plus , we are always in elven-contested areas , fighting millions with only our small group" Zetrix asked Overlord with a tired look , Overlord just screamed at the top of his lungs "YES!"
"alright then , so , i am Zetrix , leader of this team"
"i am Xertia , Co-lead of this team"
Screncist then stood up and said "Scerncist here , major wrestler"
Zetrix then pointed at the three humans silhouette , joseph and Zortso , but before he could say anything , Overlord interuped "i know who they are , silhouette , Joseph and Zortso"
"You Know them? aright then" was Zetrix's answer for the surpise , before looking at two random humans "so , what are your names , you two?"
"DarkChasm"
"Johann Shmidt"
"so , DarkChasm and Johann Schmidt , are you ready to fight for the elven banish cause in a small group?" they both nodded.
after a hour , the leaders stood up and shaked hands , then they both went their ways , the goblin king walked back to his army , and the human king did too , the dwarf king zasit , instead , walked up the tower and talked with the team
"you know this ain't over , right?" the king asked
"we all know it ain't over yet" answered Zetrix
"It's a good thing we lived through this eight days before the negoitation begun , so i have to say , Welcome , to the begining of the begining" said the king , with a relaxed mood
"so , what do we do now" asked Overlord
"rest , the goblins and humans and us , dwarfs , have co-operated to bring death to elven retreats , one by one , and it will take some time to mobilise the armies for our next target"
"good , i am getting tired , now lets go , i need to rest." was what Zetrix Told the king