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Author Topic: Intentionally crappy forum romance fiction  (Read 25362 times)

Akigagak

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Re: Intentionally crappy forum romance fiction
« Reply #30 on: January 24, 2010, 11:11:25 am »

Why is it always Vester?

Is it because she's the only forum female people here aren't afraid of?
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But then, life was also easier when I was running around here pretending to be a man, so I guess I should just "man up" and get back to work.
This is mz poetrz, it is mz puyyle.

Cthulhu

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Re: Intentionally crappy forum romance fiction
« Reply #31 on: January 24, 2010, 11:18:02 am »

There aren't many, and I didn't want to make it gay.  Since Little killed me in her story, I didn't want to kill her in my story, it would feel like retaliation.
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Shoes...

Armok

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Re: Intentionally crappy forum romance fiction
« Reply #32 on: January 24, 2010, 11:27:25 am »

What about Akroma?
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So says Armok, God of blood.
Sszsszssoo...
Sszsszssaaayysss...
III...

Cthulhu

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Re: Intentionally crappy forum romance fiction
« Reply #33 on: January 24, 2010, 11:30:07 am »

I forgot about Akroma, she's kind of scary on a level different from Janet.  She might come into my story as one of those femmes fatale you always see in this kind of story.
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Aldaris

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Re: Intentionally crappy forum romance fiction
« Reply #34 on: January 24, 2010, 01:36:59 pm »

So many sig worthy quotes...
Only so much room...
So hard to choose...
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but Baron Aqizzar had the firm advantage, battering Cthulhu with his Mighty Chin.
^Totally not out of context, promise.
The Liberal Crime Squad Community game, now with a Liberal Overdose of Liberally aplied Liberalism. -Liberally. (UBER-Hiatus, next update somewhere between now and 2012.)

Duke 2.0

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Re: Intentionally crappy forum romance fiction
« Reply #35 on: January 24, 2010, 02:06:29 pm »

 Eh, do whatever. Akroma isn't that bad, although I don't know if the effects of putting a gay person in a straight role is the same as putting a straight person in a gay role in terms of (Humiliation? Awkwardness? I dunno).

 Also, U is the only one for me.
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Buck up friendo, we're all on the level here.
I would bet money Andrew has edited things retroactively, except I can't prove anything because it was edited retroactively.
MIERDO MILLAS DE VIBORAS FURIOSAS PARA ESTRANGULARTE MUERTO

Cthulhu

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Re: Intentionally crappy forum romance fiction
« Reply #36 on: January 24, 2010, 02:15:09 pm »

That was the other thing, I didn't want to write her into a heterosexual relationship any more than I wanted to write Duke into a homosexual relationship.  That's not cool, man.
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WorkerDrone

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Re: Intentionally crappy forum romance fiction
« Reply #37 on: January 24, 2010, 03:32:22 pm »

The ring of the gun rung out.  WorkerDrone killed the last guy in the wedding.
"WHat a hassle to kill all people in wedding."
Now I can finally marry my trye love.  There she was Sofia all in her dress nice.
COvered in blood.

Everyone was covered in blod. 

WorkerDrone propped all the bodies to what you call normal places.  Most were seated so it was easy.  The hard part was the dude that talk and Sofia.  He managed to use rope like some type of you know not a puppet, but everyone cal's it that.

He played his part and when it was over

shot himself.

TOgether forever.

TOGETHER FOREVER.
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Little

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Re: Intentionally crappy forum romance fiction
« Reply #38 on: January 24, 2010, 03:38:13 pm »

I forgot about Akroma, she's kind of scary on a level different from Janet.  She might come into my story as one of those femmes fatale you always see in this kind of story.

Who the hell is Janet?
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Cthulhu

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Re: Intentionally crappy forum romance fiction
« Reply #39 on: January 24, 2010, 03:40:40 pm »

Janet is Sofia.
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Heron TSG

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Re: Intentionally crappy forum romance fiction
« Reply #40 on: January 24, 2010, 03:41:21 pm »

Sniper Joe changed to Sofia who changed to Janet just now. I'm not sure why.
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Tack

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Re: Intentionally crappy forum romance fiction
« Reply #41 on: January 24, 2010, 04:30:07 pm »

______________________________________________________________________
The night was dark and stormy. Uh. Not really stormy, but, kinda ha a few flicks of lightning around. And there was some definite cloud cover. I mean, the moon peeked through the clouds a bit, But, y'know there was clouds and everything, so it was definately darker than, say, it would have been if the moon was full. It wasn't full, by the way. It was like... that one, that's almost a half moon... Uhhh.... Elipse? Yah, it was an Elipse moon, but it was behind clouds so you could hardly see it anyway. Forget about the moon.

There was a house on the hilltop. It was relatively small, and green, and, through the relatively clean surface, patches of weeds and moss were peeking through. The house, however, was big. Like real big. Not so big that it wasn't bigger than the hilltop, but, it's all in the comparison, innit? So, like, the hilltop was small, but for a hilltop. And the house was big... But... for a house. It was brown, and slightly decrepit, with eerie cracks in the windows. Some said it was haunted. Nobody knew who said it was haunted, but whenever asked about it, someone would always say 'some say' it's haunted. yet, the fact that they're saying it's haunted, albeit by association, means that they would count as 'some' too. Which means I'm a 'some'. Damn.

Inside the house, sat two huddled shapes. Neither were doing much, but sitting in front of the fire. There would be a long series of silences, before one huddled shape would pop their head up, out of the blanket, and go to say something, but, re-think it again, before putting their head back under the warmth of the blanket. After more, several long minutes, not that the minutes were long, but, for some reason, time always seems to stretch, like heaps during akward tension. I mean, not like physically stretch, because that would probably blow up the universe or something. But, like, time just Seems to go for longer, because there's something you really wanna do, like, talk to a girl or something, but you really can't, and you Really wanna, but you don't know if she'll rebuff you or not and you just can't get around to saying it, but you know that you should try conversation and just be amiable but there's a pretty girl like RIGHT THERE, y'know, and your tongue swells up and you just can't talk? And then she's all like 'are you ok' and you're trying to say 'fine' but you can't say anything without your tongue slipping up and you make yourself sound like an idiot and she laughs and you know that it's supposed to be a good laugh, right, but it just makes you really angry, but still she sounds so pretty when she laughs, and while you're looking at her pretty face and remembering what her pretty laugh sounded like, she's all like 'you're staring at me', and You're TRYING to say, 'oh, its because you're so beautiful' but all you can really say is like, 'oh,, mmmsrry.' And so it just gets more and more awkward and then you find yourself hating all of those guys who can just Talk to girls, y'know? Like, they don't have problems with their tongue slipping up and stuff, and it really just pisses me off? You know? How do they do it!? Why can't I do it, it isn't hard. Maybe if I could talk good to girls, they'd go out with Me instead of those insensitive guys she always cries over, when you really wanna give her a hug and tell her it's alright, but you know aht it would mean skin contact, and it would really break the mood if you suddenly got, all like... y'know, like, hot, in front of her and chicks can always notice that in a guy, which I never got, cos I wear loose pants. But yeah, there's this guy, called John. He's like, almost a mate of mine. Well, we never got on like, Really well, but we say hi to eachother in the street and all that, and like, he broke up with this chick the other day, and he'd been going out with her for like, months, and he was all torn up inside, right? Well, anyway, the next day, he's with another chick. And it turns out he'd met her the night before. I mean, how can people DO that!? It's just not fair, y'know? Is it like, an aquired skill that I can pick up? Do I have to go and meet a new chick and train by drooling slightly at her daily? This is Bull.

Whatever. Anyway. Story. Suddenly there was a sharp crack of lightning, and the boom, boom, boom of the thunder rolled through the house like a bestial roar, causing one to pop out their head and scream, quite unshamedly. And as the noise all died down, the screamer turned to the other, and, finally mustering the courage, propelled through fear, said. "Uh... juss wondering... Mmm... like, if you're scared, cos. not that I'm scared, but, I am a bit, but maybe we c'd mumblemumblemumble" The other figure, sensing the amount of bravery it took for the first figure to speak, decided to be nice. Popping a head out of the blanket, she said
'... What the FUCK are you on about?'
The first figure, realising his mistake, tried to correct up the lost sentence 'No, I just meant... like... we could sit closer together.. or something?'

Sitting there, Akroma pushed her hair away from her glasses, before raising an eyebrow at Armok. "look, Armok. I came here, because you wanted someone to go in the house with you. Now, the dare stated that you were meant to do it alone, so, technically, right now, you've broken the dare. Now, seeing as I'm nice enough to help you break the dare, does not mean I'm nice enough to do the whole... cuddling thing. Ok?" Armok quivered under his blanket, shocked and stunned by the sharp rebuff... 'No, I just thought that... maybe... like, sit together or something, is all. Don't worry about it, I'm sorry I asked.' Akroma, seeing the amount of hurt and fear evident in Armok's big round eyes of indistinguishable color, decided to be easier on him. "Ok. You may move two feet closer to me." After he had done so, they both lapsed into silence again, but, a whole lot closer. Hot.



The end!


And For reference, I don't have a friend called John, I don't have troubles talking to girls, and I know what an Elipse moon is.
Oh, and Soz to Akroma, too. I missed a few posts when I read through this topic before writing.
« Last Edit: January 24, 2010, 06:01:04 pm by Tack »
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Sentience, Endurance, and Thumbs: The Trifector of a Superpredator.
Yeah, he's a banned spammer. Normally we'd delete this thread too, but people were having too much fun with it by the time we got here.

Armok

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Re: Intentionally crappy forum romance fiction
« Reply #42 on: January 24, 2010, 05:29:45 pm »

Wow, that is like, exactly what happens! metaphorically.
It's awesome.
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So says Armok, God of blood.
Sszsszssoo...
Sszsszssaaayysss...
III...

Il Palazzo

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Re: Intentionally crappy forum romance fiction
« Reply #43 on: January 24, 2010, 06:29:04 pm »

Life was a dark and scary place, full of emptiness and nothing. People hated their lives, so they invented internet, which was also dark and dank, and often disguisting, but with sparkles. Everything was better with sparkles, including vampires, and so was the internet. It also promised not to hurt the people, so they embraced it's illusions with hope, and became Internet-persons.
I-persons looked upon the many letters and small pictures on their monitors, and imagined fantastic better-than-real people pushing keyboard buttons in far away places. They imagined that when the letters on the screen showed words like "like" and "love", there were in fact caring people expressing their fondness and affection to them.
And then I-people felt less lonely. But only barely so, because deep in the back of their minds they knew that just like the real world, the internet-world was also just an illusion. They knew that in truth, they were just masturbating their needs for social interactions, and escaping the dreariness of what lied beyond the computer screen.
But the sparkles were sparkly, so the I-people preffered them over the reality of their grandmothers decomposing in their bathrooms, and depending on stray cats for sustenance. That's why instead of changing their week-old diapers, the I-people typed "I hugs you" and they felt hugged.
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WorkerDrone

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Re: Intentionally crappy forum romance fiction
« Reply #44 on: January 24, 2010, 06:36:46 pm »

Best. Love story. Ever Palazzo.
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