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Author Topic: Cavebrands  (Read 65481 times)

Cheddarius

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Re: Cavebrands
« Reply #480 on: August 07, 2010, 03:02:12 pm »

We get some strange announcements around here...  Who was it exactly that decided to name a number of dwarves "Food"?
I think it may have been me, or the guy before me. Anyway, it means that they're involved in food production.

You might be able to use burrows in some way to make dwarves construct the ballista without running into the trap? Or make a ballista on the upper floor and just skewer her with bolts until she dies?
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Kagus

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Re: Cavebrands
« Reply #481 on: August 07, 2010, 04:45:07 pm »

-~^~-

  "Oh most marvelous man-shepherd, I'm so glad I ran into you!"

  "El Burro Sombrero, you asked me to come here.  Quite insistently, I might add.  I don't think you quite realize just how important my duties as mayor are, and how essential it is that I attend to them."

Mayor Mobabbey sulked a little bit.  He thought back to his comfy office chair.  It would be cold by the time he was finished with this annoying twit, and he'd have to sit there for hours before it reached 'the zone' again.  The ordeals he had to go through as mayor...

  "I know, dearest master, but there is something that I absolutely must tell you...  For you see, I am not who you think I am."

Well that's not much of a stretch, thought Mobabbey, You aren't even who you think you are.

  "Oh yes?  And who are you then?"

  "Sweetest and most desirable lordship, I have been waiting a long time to say this, and it fills me with such joy that I am now able.  For you see, my lovely Lokum, I am-"

El Burro took a bubbling gurgle which, theoretically, could have been a breath.

"-the ghost of your long-lost wife!"

Lokum Mobabbey looked at the heap quizzically.  All thoughts of his chair had vanished, along with...  Well, along with most of his other cognitive processes.  The flesh pile looked happy.

  "Oh yes Lokum, it's me!  This body I am inhabiting is but a shell, a dwarf so near death that I was able to possess it!  My love, my one and only, how I've longed to see you rise to the position you've always deserved.  Indeed, I was the artificer behind your recent election, I was the one who manipulated the minds of the masses to bring you the seat of power that has always been your rightful place."

Mobabbey continued processing.

  "Now, my sweet cave swallow, my scrumptious love biscuit, my cuddly plump helmet..."

The lump extended two protrusions which a creative mind could have interpreted as limbs.  Possibly even arms.

  "...KISS ME!"

-~v~-



--The events of late Obsidian, 596.  Cavebrands.


The giantess Taron Calledsteels the Hardy Mouth, having slaughtered its feline prey atop the ice-colored barrier, wandered into the western valley beyond the great mountain.  There she waits, eagerly anticipating the juicy meat of caravans coming from the mountainhomes or the far cities of men.  The dwarves of Cavebrands, though safe for the moment, now live under a dark shadow.  A giant naked woman-shaped shadow.

While the dwarves closed and locked the gates to seal themselves from the dangers of the outside world, two skulking brothers of kobold blood scavenged the goblin corpses left behind after so many failed attempts to oust the dwarven pests.  After they had found matching treasures, they fled the tainted land.  Only much later in their lives, after their prizes had brought them much wealth and social standing, would they discover that not even the items that litter the ground are safe from the Curse of Cavebrands.



Amidst this furious storm of death and sorrow, an apprentice mason was inspired by forces otherworldy, and constructed a great monument to honor the steadfast resilience of those brave enough to dwell within the slightly defective walls of this place.




Never before had an artist rendered a depiction of short-term memory loss in a sculpture.  His achievement was lauded as mildly spectacular, although there were mutterings of disapproval at his having included an elf as part of the piece.  Some fans of the artwork claim that the elf is merely metaphorical, or say that the doubled image of the fort's founding was a statement that even the most mundane dwarven act held twice the worth of the most astonishing elven one.


Deep within the halls of Cavebrands, there lies a dwarf who spends his years trapped within a coma that few, if any, believe he will recover from.  His wounds are so great that he is barely recognizable as a living creature, and his wounds continue to spatter blood onto the floor despite the best attempts of the hospital staff to ignore them.

The current democratically elected official, Mayor Lokum Mobabbey, does not set foot within the hospital's walls.   When pressed, he claims never to have heard of anyone known as "El Burro Sombrero".  A name from an ancient and exotic language, which when roughly translated into the parlance of today, is equated as "The Ass Hat".


Cheddarius, the dwarf in charge of overseeing the lost cause that is the aid of those dwarves who fall victim to the mountain's merciless ills, has spent the past many months slaving away at the seemingly impossible task of mixing powder with water in order to create a past that might help those with broken limbs to keep the wounded article immobilized.  Although his attempts have been foiled on many occasions by the will of the gods, he is resolute and determined.  Some suspect he has silently gone mad, and that the ceaseless cranking of well mechanisms is a stark reminder of what happens to even the most vigilant and good-hearted in this foul world.


But for all the madness, all the blood and tears shed by the dwarves who are tormented by the evils of this place, and all the many graves that line the walls, Cavebrands moves on.  Grease and fat are rendered and made useful in the kitchens, great and powerful tinctures are brought forth by the massive distilleries, the hot and pulsating magma furnaces are lit with rivers of running metal, and life, in whatever measure it may be found or maintained, goes on.



Notes:
Currently we have a stream of water flowing into the tunnel underneath the hospital.  I would've set up the pressure plate to stop it when it gets full, but complications arose and I was unable to do that.  Keep an eye on the water level, and when it gets to a suitable amount just shut off the flow.

Also regarding floodgates, the treefarm water supply tunnel has a slight blockage in it.  A boulder is preventing the floodgate from closing.  The brook is still mostly frozen from winter, so immediate action should be taken to get that rock out of there.  After that, it should be just fine.

The treefarm is fully excavated, but it still has a lot of rubble clogging it up, along with a fair amount of valuable ore that should be smelted down and made into metal things.  Not to mention the catapults.

The ballista tower is being reconfigured.  The idea is to have one long pathway, possibly trapped, extending out from the tower (or possibly a staircase directly in front of the tower, as I was intending to protect the ballista with a fortified slot and some walls).  The pathway needs to be two z-levels above the ground so that invaders can't just reach down and smack dwarves passing underneath.   The current plan was to have the pathway extend to the west, as that would result in a negligible number of scares.  But regardless of what happens to that tower, our entire outdoors defensive setup needs to be rethought from scratch...  As I'm sure we all well know now.

There's a new hallway and a well-hole that's been dug out on one of the lower levels.  The vertical pipe opens up into a flooded cavern.  The reason I did this was to ensure we had a water supply during the colder months.  Care should be taken to stop anything that decides to fly up through there.

We currently have two forgotten beasts.  One of them is completely trapped and is "waggling his trunk" and farting behind a couple treeshrooms.  The other is still out on the prowl, but isn't as major a threat as it used to be due to its now extensive injuries.  Care should still be taken when dealing with it.

Also, I haven't updated to the latest version yet...  Might wanna do that.




--~El Save~--

Cheddarius

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Re: Cavebrands
« Reply #482 on: August 07, 2010, 05:19:54 pm »

Hurray!
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melkorp

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Re: Cavebrands
« Reply #483 on: August 07, 2010, 05:35:30 pm »

That corner of unexcavated rock is starting to look like the margin of a high school yearbook. 
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He he he.  Yeah, it almost looks done...  alas...  those who are in your teens, hold on until your twenties...  those in your twenties, your thirties...  others, cling to life as you are able...It should be pretty fun though.

SethCreiyd

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Re: Cavebrands
« Reply #484 on: August 07, 2010, 11:18:33 pm »

Cavebrands survives another year.  And to think of its humble origins.
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Argonnek

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Re: Cavebrands
« Reply #485 on: August 08, 2010, 09:41:56 pm »

Okay, I'm downloading the save now, let's hope it doesn't crash my computer...

Edit: I'll have to skip my turn unless any of you know how to make a save compatible with a mac.
Edit2: I might not need to if I knew what version you were using.
« Last Edit: August 08, 2010, 09:59:37 pm by Argonnek »
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Kagus

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Re: Cavebrands
« Reply #486 on: August 09, 2010, 02:40:14 am »

I was using 31.10, having been too something to download and install the latest versions.  I put it up as the "version compatibility" on the DFFD link, but I probably should have mentioned it.  Sorry about that.

BadSyntax

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Re: Cavebrands
« Reply #487 on: August 09, 2010, 01:07:19 pm »

Dorf me :D
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Dasleah>   Snappleseed: if they threw up that's one hell of an orgasm

Argonnek

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Re: Cavebrands
« Reply #488 on: August 09, 2010, 02:45:42 pm »

Well, I'd hate to say it, but unless you guys are willing to wait until the seventeenth, I can't apply my own special brand of madness to this fort.

Cheddarius

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Re: Cavebrands
« Reply #489 on: August 09, 2010, 02:54:36 pm »

How about Seth plays until then? If he can finish in a week...
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SethCreiyd

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Re: Cavebrands
« Reply #490 on: August 09, 2010, 07:06:50 pm »

That works for me.  I could probably finish it by then.

Edit:  I'm checking the place out now.  I don't even know where to begin.
« Last Edit: August 09, 2010, 07:22:48 pm by SethCreiyd »
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Kagus

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Re: Cavebrands
« Reply #491 on: August 09, 2010, 07:52:29 pm »

Dorf me :D

I take it that means you want a swing at the overseer spot?  I'll put you up after LordSlowpoke, provided things turn out as expected.

Well, I'd hate to say it, but unless you guys are willing to wait until the seventeenth, I can't apply my own special brand of madness to this fort.

Sorry to hear about that...  The excessively long wait of sitting around for my turn is finally over, and you're incapacitated for the time being.  Well, hopefully Seth will indeed be up for it.

Edit:  I'm checking the place out now.  I don't even know where to begin.

Stunning, isn't it?   But believe me when I say "I've seen worse".

If there are any questions, I can attempt to answer what I can.  Unfortunately, I'm not hugely familiar with the place myself.  After all, I could never figure out why our broker was specifically titled "Fisherdwarf".  There are a stunning number of oddly-named professions running around, although almost all of our workforce is currently drafted into service as haulers.  It would be really, really nice if there were some way of searching through dwarves by profession and skill, as there are currently a few haulers with specialized and highly valuable skills.  There are even a number of very proficient military dwarves wandering around completely unnoticed.

Once the current dumping order has been fulfilled or canceled in the -3 treefarm, you're going to see a massive spike in idlers.  I don't think we're really doing anything other than just moving stone from one place to another.  We've got one guy slaughtering bulls, one guy rendering fat, one guy making masterpiece bone bolts, and I think there's one guy working the magma smelter.  But that's pretty much it.


And my original attempts at a clear, organized layout have gone completely down the toilet.  Not that I would have done much better, mind.

Cheddarius

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Re: Cavebrands
« Reply #492 on: August 09, 2010, 11:48:39 pm »

Quote
It would be really, really nice if there were some way of searching through dwarves by profession and skill, as there are currently a few haulers with specialized and highly valuable skills.
Dwarf Therapist, my good man.
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SethCreiyd

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Re: Cavebrands
« Reply #493 on: August 11, 2010, 12:22:46 am »


Journal of Overseer Sethrek Mobabbey, Excerpts


Marvelous Cavebrands, a gem in a mountain of schist, where eighty-eight dwarves of all ages live, work, play and lead fruitful lives, aside from the ones crippled in bed.  Ah, but they're the minority.  Life is easy, we want for little, and the booze flows freely.  It's even beautiful if you love messes.  It's home, and rather good at it.

There is just one tiny little problem.


At some point the prosperity of our home caught the interest of a shockingly tall and naked lass who has been doing cartwheels on top of our wall for the past month.  Only recently she descended to firm ground, and ran as fast as her massive legs could propel her into our fort.  Once inside, she picked up a nearby peasant who enjoyed staring more than running, and casually tossed him into the wall he slammed into as comfortably as possible.


A structure to the northwest took advantage of the commotion and collapsed.



The army of Cavebrands charged down the giantess and tore her asunder, hacking her to humorously small pieces.  A few soldiers suffered minor injuries to their brains and lives.


I almost went off to tell the mayor of our good fortune, but discovered she was a first-hand witness.  Her skull cracked open by the giantess, she found the will to mandate some (giant eagle) leather items to commemorate the event.  I went to speak with the leatherworker, greeted by the usual stench of our main hallway.


Yet another day in marvelous Cavebrands.
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Cheddarius

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Re: Cavebrands
« Reply #494 on: August 11, 2010, 12:25:47 am »

Hahaha, nice.
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