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[EuchreJack]

Awful weak for a dwarf....he need the strength of earth to empower him.  Find the fort!

[Spartan 117]

Let's hit the temple. If this Krillan guy is a honest Armok loving dwarf, we can spar with him.

If he's not, we can beat him up.

[cerapa]

If he's not, we can beat him up.

And take his booze.

Actually he might not have any booze. You know, so sober that he doesnt worship Armok.

[LordBucket]

Actually he might not have any booze.

Well, he is a shaolin monk, remember.

[dwarfguy2]

i say we unequip all that we have and go straight to the most difficult dungeon we have access to.

[LordBucket]

i say we unequip all that we have and go straight
to the most difficult dungeon we have access to.

If we do, this will be one of the shortest Let's Plays of all time. I'm having a difficult enough time as it is trying to figure out how to keep him alive just going to the temple. It's a level 20 dungeon. We're level 5.

Fortunately he's run into some distractions along the way.

[Earthquake Damage]

i say we unequip all that we have and go straight to the most difficult dungeon we have access to.

Oh, you kidder, you!

[LordBucket]

Part 03 - Shaolin Surprise

In this episode, we introduce:

Miss Piiza:

Hello! I'm the private secretary and herald of the infamous martial artist Mr. Satan! Yes, that's a theatrical stage name, in case you were wondering. Nobody's first name is "Mr."

Krillan

...umm, hi.

10 Obsidian

After my stop in Aru Village, I returned to the World Tournament complex and followed the road north. Within a short time the clouds cleared and I was able to sethe mountains clearly in the distance. Scarcely a few miles down the road, however, I came upon an impressive, though somewhat gaudy-looking mansion. A number of people in strange white unforms were milling about outside, occassionally shouting at one another unintelligibly. Curious, I approached to investigate.



As I stared puzzled at the sign, one of the miscreants in white bowed at me, then let out a horrifying screech and tried to punch me in the face. I jumped back, just in time to avoid a bow and a kick from another. The crowd degenerated into a general brawl, with everyone punching and kicking and bowing at each other. As I tried to escape, one of the fellows with an orange belt knocked me off my feet with a kick to the chest. I scrambled to my feet and pulled out my knife, cautioning him away to no avail. After a few more swings at me I screamed and with all my might stuck him with my knife.

I think I even scratched him a little.

I'd never been much of a fighter. I'm an engineer. If we do our job, orcs never get inside the fortress, so we never have a chance to learn to fight. It's an ancient system and it works very well. But it wasn't going to help me here, and this knife wasn't helping much either. I needed a strategy. And thank Armok, after a few more failed attempts to stab him, a strategy presented itself. This poor fool was prancing about in some sort of crazy fighting stance with his knees horribly bent and his butt about 12 inches off the ground. It made him slow to move. I found that I could simply let him come at me, stab at him, step back and repeat. It took some time with my weak arm and lousy aim, but eventually I put him out of my misery.

Within several more minutes I had dispatched 10 of the fools. And I felt...stronger somehow. I had never killed before. And yet here were the corpses of ten humans at my feet as if I'd been training since 2d.

And yet through it all I was left wondering...why are they attacking me?


Inside, I found a red-headed woman speaking to a crowd of people in what appeared to be a trophy room.

Miss Piiza:

Thank you, and welcome to Mr. Satan's training dojo! As you can see from this impressive collection of trophies, including all three from the previous three World Tournaments, Mr. Satan has proven himself many times over to be the strongest fighter in the world!

So the human who owns this place is a fighter, huh? Must pay better in the human world. Most fighters I knew lived in the barracks. I was understandably skeptical of this "strongest fighter in the world" claim, but presumably the woman merely meant strongest human in the world. So that would make him about as strong as the average glass cutter. Still, for all their buffonery, skill was skill, and this "Mr Satan" fellow was clearly a Legendary human. No way anybody could afford a place this size if they weren't Legendary. Maybe I could learn a thing or two from him. But first I had some questions.

Urist Ironbeard

So what's with all the crazy guys in white standing outside attacking people?

Miss Piiza:

Oh, well...Mr. Satan is such a strong and famous fighter that he attracts a lot of fans. He only takes the strongest fighters so prospective students try to prove themselves worthy by defeating each other.

That explained a lot. Well, I didn't have time to bash human heads now. Certainly not to "prove myself" to some silly human, even if he could teach me a useful trick or two. Right now I have an outpost to find.


Orinji Temple


It took me some time to find the temple. Silly fools built the thing at the end of some silly road on top of the mountain instead of down inside it where it belonged. The place obviously wasn't built by dorfs but I thought maybe they embarked on a human city and tunneled down underneath it. Plus it was the only lead I had, so I went inside.

Except for a couple candles, it was both dark and quiet inside.

Urist Ironbeard

Hellloooo?!?!?!? Anyone here?

Silence.

Urist Ironbeard

...ANYONE?!?!?!

Krillan

...umm, I'm here. I'm Krillan. Are you here to save us?

So this was Krillan. Sickly looking fellow had his beard shaved off. Whatever happened here, it wasn't pretty.

Urist Ironbeard

Yes, I was sent by the mountainhome to take charge until the end of the season. What happened here?

Krillan

Oh, thank you! It was AWFUL! A pack of rival Taoist extremists came in and attacked the temple! Tha Abbot went into meditation, and I took them to my porn collection to distract-

Urist Ironbeard

Wait...slow down. What's a Taoist?

Krillan

Oh, right. Sorry. Taoists are peaceful philosophers who believe in inaction as a means of attaining harmony with the universe.

Urist Ironbeard

And they attacked your temple?

Krillan

...well, they looked like Taoists. So the Abbot and most of the monks went into meditation and left me here to deal with them so I offered to show them my porn collection to distract them, but they admonished me, saying it was improper for a monk to have porn, so they went down into the catacombs to go find it and I locked them in! I have the key, but the Abbot and most of the monks are down there with them!

Urist Ironbeard

Temple. Monks. No beard. You're not a dorf, are you?

Krillan

HEY! Just becaues I'm SHORT doesn't mean you need to be RUDE!

Urist Ironbeard

Answer the question. Are you a dorf?

Krillan

NO! I'm just...small boned. Yeah. Small boned.

Urist Ironbeard

You're a short human?

Krillan

Yeah. Rub it in why don't you? You said you're here to help. So are you going to help or not?

Urist Ironbeard

What exactly do you want me to do? You've got the key. Go let them out.

Krillan

But...there are probably a hundred of them down there! All with weapons and years of fighting experience! If I let them out they'll overrun the temple!

Urist Ironbeard

What? Fighters? I thought you said they were "peaceful" Taoists and that you're a bunch of monks?

Krillan

Oh, well...yeah, but we're Shaolin monks and they're, well...I guess they're warrior Taoists. We all train our entire lives in the martial arts.

Urist Ironbeard

Well, then I certainly can't help you. I'm not a fighter. I'm an engineer. Maybe I could redesign the temple to collapse on them and flood the world with magma, but a hundred armed and skilled fighters? No way. Nothing I can do. ...unless...

[LordBucket]

Voting Time!

What shall Urist Ironbeard do next?

Return to the Satan Estate and try to get combat training with the Legendary human Mr. Satan.
Look for other underground locations that might be home to the dwarves.
Return to the World Tournament fairgrounds and explore and train there.


Incidentally, here are our current stats:

Strength: 6
Intellect:14
Willpower:6
Dexterity: 6
Constitution: 14
Charisma: 10
Speed: 14
Level 5
Exp: 102/150
Money: 600zn
Hitpoints: 70
Armor: -2
MoveSpeed: +6
Equipment:
 * knife (1 to 6)(+0, +5)
 * Streetclothes(-1[5]
 * Tennis shoes [1]

Left hand attack:
-7 to hit
1d6+1 damage

Right hand attack:
None

Available Skillpoints 29

[dwarfguy2]

GO WITH THE ORIGINAL PLAN AND MAKE THAT TRAP.

[LordBucket]

GO WITH THE ORIGINAL PLAN AND MAKE THAT TRAP.

That would be out of the scope of the game. This is a Dragonball T Let's Play. Not a Dwarf Fortress Let's Play.

[Earthquake Damage]

Return to the World Tournament fairgrounds and explore and train there.

In true dwarf fashion, Urist should train at the local barracks (read:  martial arts school), reaching Legendary status in, oh, about three weeks (seems to be the norm for wrestlers anyway ).  As dodging is a far superior defense to charging foes than standing ground, he should start with whichever of the chosen schools (Ballet, I assume, as undwarvenly as it seems) benefits Dodging the most.

Why worry about charging foes?  Because it looks like Urist will be facing primarily humans and similar opponents, and they're bigger than dwarves.

After he learns how to not die, Urist can move on to Sumo to showcase dwarven determination (read:  stubbornness).

[Spartan 117]

Let's train in Ballet. We can worry about being tough and unmovable when we have some good armor.

[EuchreJack]

Look for other underground locations!

Training is for wussy humans!

But whatever experience gained should go to ballet, 'cause it is funny.

[dwarfguy2]

start grinding!