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Poll

What should Zathel do on his turn?

Hook up FAILCANNON to magma sea (powered by a huge dwarven reactor).
- 11 (28.2%)
Build a castle over the fortress entrance.
- 11 (28.2%)
Flush all the grime from Battlefailed with carefully arranged sewage system.
- 7 (17.9%)
Construct opulent quarters for every dwarf in Battlefailed.
- 3 (7.7%)
Get rid of every Forgotten Beast using huge cave-in traps
- 7 (17.9%)

Total Members Voted: 39

Voting closed: July 31, 2010, 02:35:48 pm


Pages: 1 ... 4 5 [6] 7 8 ... 60

Author Topic: Battlefailed (Succession) Legendary Clusterf**k, free for all reclaim  (Read 325553 times)

Krimson

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #75 on: May 13, 2010, 09:06:43 am »

I wouldnt have broke ye legs had ye not been about to burn the booze for warmth.  You claim I was the insane one pfft.
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Andreus

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #76 on: May 13, 2010, 12:35:55 pm »

I can't believe I died so ignominously. I attribute this failure entirely to you, Robocorn :P
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #77 on: May 13, 2010, 01:01:56 pm »

I'll be back.
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

Robocorn

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #78 on: May 13, 2010, 01:26:35 pm »

I wouldnt have broke ye legs had ye not been about to burn the booze for warmth.  You claim I was the insane one pfft.
Its summer ya daft twit!, I was gettin' a drink. No honest dwarf in 'is right mind'd burn booze, especially not in this swelterin' climate!

Krimson

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #79 on: May 13, 2010, 01:45:43 pm »

Blahblahblah oh well least we now gots wimminz and I can go get my calamity on.
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Robocorn

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #80 on: May 13, 2010, 05:27:24 pm »

(I'm probably going to savescum (back to the fucking beginning) because I killed everyone, but since I spent two hours on this, enjoy its noncanonness)

Diary of Robocorn Betanlorbam

Th' new dwarves are a boon t' me senses, doing all th' work I never planned on doing an' carrying in all th' items we left outside.

It surely is a blessing that something distracted th' skelks so they could all get in. I haven't seen skelk in quite a while. I wonder what happen'd t' all o' them.
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

27 Malachite, 501.
A chillran through me spine, Heyguys, who 'ad endured being teabagg't by skelks for no less'n five months 'ad drawn 'is last breath. Let  us nau remembra 'im as a pacifist bu' as a man who could be kick'd in th' face fer months on en' an' nau die. I salute ye' Heyguys.


today I found a nice juicy plump helmet in th' food stockpile. I hid it away in a crack in th' wall be'ind a barrel so nobody would get it before me. I'll enjoy it tomorrow with some dwarven wine an' enjoy th' good times.

Diary of interim scribe Erib Shembidok, Fish Dissector

Thah right queer dwarf that was always mumblin' t' 'imself was finally taken out. Fer some reason Krimson wanted me t' make a reprt o' this so I did. He says e'll find someone else t' do it when 'e 'as th' time an' that I be useless cuz there be no fish in th' cave.

So, this righ' mad dorf named Bobbycon or somethin' starts ravin' 'bout how someone touch'd 'is plump helmet an' how he was gon o' kill every las' one o' us fer ruinin' 'is day. Th' mad dorf ran t' th' craftworks an' tried t' attack someone so good ol' Krimson decared't everybody 'is Granite Gods an' told us t' stop Robconnel at any cos'. We all ran int' th' romm an' grabb't the sucker an' pulled. Th' guy was strong but there were five o' us. as 'e struggle't, Reg Mafoludar strangle't th' rampagin' psycho until e' fell down dead.


Ev'n afterwards we all felt righ' sorry fer wha' we done, Krimson was th' most sadden't by th' loss o' 'is friend, 'e told us t' make a tomb fer Ropercon cuz 'e deserv'd one an t' clean up th' blood. I think I may come t' enjoy this job, I look forward t' chronicling th' events in Battlefailed


Diary of interim scribe DÓshmab Obokidos, Herbalist
I guess it's my turn t' write everything down, I hope I don't succumb t' th' same fate as that other scribe, why would that happen? He was a useless fish dissector, I'm a herbalist.


Krimson killed Erib in a fit o' rage after th' death of his secret lover best friend Robocorn. I could personally couldn't care less about either o' them, Erib was a waste o' flesh an that Robocorn guy is responsible for this vile place.

Krimson knocked out Likast before calming down, it must be pretty stressful running this place. He said to make a coffin for Erib too, so he doesn't smell, a wise decision.

I'm a little freaked out now, Krimson struck down Likast in the hall in another fit of rage, maybe we should have that guy quarantined.


These outburst are becoming a little less bearable. The maddwarf broke my arm and leg and is currently beating up Matuin like there's no tomorow.

Thankfully he stops short o' killing him before calming down.

With Matuin's vote I've replaced him as militia leader.

As Matuin and I lie on the floor for weeks with major injuries, Krimson puts forth a plan to create arable farmland in our fort, his idea involves flooding it slightly with seawater, When I tell him that not even plump helmets would grow in the sand from the bottom of the blueness of malodors, he just laughs at me and marks the wall anyway.

I'm beginning to learn why Likast and Erib are still rotting in the halls, Krimson has been dedicating empty coffins to people I've never even heard of.

It takes longer than I thought for them to put away the corpses, they at least bring Matuin to the bed to heal, somewhere along the line they construct a well to give us water.

Krimson has been having a good day lately, he's ready to flood the farms.


FUUUUUUCCKK!!!!

The game didn't end because Urist is being immortal.
Well, I guess we vote, savescum or Andreus reclaims?

I really need an aspirin.
« Last Edit: May 13, 2010, 05:29:38 pm by Robocorn »
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #81 on: May 13, 2010, 05:28:35 pm »

WE CAN CONTINUE! Hell, if you want, I'll try to salvage this. My dwarf is the only survivor...

Dammit, I want to see just how badly I'm being beaten. And how long it takes me to die. How many skelks are attacking me?!

Note to self: Robocorn makes forts epic.

EDIT:
« Last Edit: May 13, 2010, 05:39:23 pm by Urist Imiknorris »
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

Krimson

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #82 on: May 13, 2010, 05:32:23 pm »

That was fucking epic, I so rock >_> <_< Told ye ye shouldnt have kept me from ye bed o.o I am AWESOM,  Anyway did everyone die?  Ones left alive huh?  Should really save every 3 hours to keep your sanity.  Anyway,  Why did that happen? Always keep the doors locked and make sure the floodgate/lever are on hand :c
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Robocorn

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #83 on: May 13, 2010, 05:42:36 pm »

That was fucking epic, I so rock >_> <_< Told ye ye shouldnt have kept me from ye bed o.o I am AWESOM,  Anyway did everyone die?  Ones left alive huh?  Should really save every 3 hours to keep your sanity.  Anyway,  Why did that happen? Always keep the doors locked and make sure the floodgate/lever are on hand :c

They were, the whole z level of the fortress flash flooded 7/7 in one frame.

Dammit, I want to see just how badly I'm being beaten. And how long it takes me to die. How many skelks are attacking me?!

Six, you're even more broken than before but outlived heyguys by not getting a cut making you effectively a pulverized pile of flesh.

Urist Imiknorris

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #84 on: May 13, 2010, 06:08:49 pm »

Well, flesh balls are immortal...

Have I won the pain olympics yet? I've won, haven't I?
« Last Edit: May 13, 2010, 06:15:47 pm by Urist Imiknorris »
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

Krimson

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #85 on: May 13, 2010, 06:21:55 pm »

Flash flood FTL,  So what happened? Was the door ajar? a door can effectivly block off any water (except that you need a place for it to drain off to,)  Flash flood, how the hell >.<
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melkorp

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #86 on: May 13, 2010, 07:05:21 pm »

Keep going!  Not sure Urist Imiknorris can be killed.
Also, this is the funniest thread in a while.
Also, I want in!  Gimme gimme!  Turn 15 or whatever.  Battlefailed should be extremely Fun by the time you get to me.
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He he he.  Yeah, it almost looks done...  alas...  those who are in your teens, hold on until your twenties...  those in your twenties, your thirties...  others, cling to life as you are able...It should be pretty fun though.

Andreus

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #87 on: May 13, 2010, 07:25:13 pm »

I wouldn't be adverse to reclaiming, if you guys don't want to savescum :)
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #88 on: May 13, 2010, 07:26:41 pm »

I want the save, if only so I can try to keep it alive. Right now I'm serving as the fort's phylactery.
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

Samthere

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #89 on: May 13, 2010, 07:47:13 pm »

This whole thing is full of awesome. I love those elks (bits of me will forever be stuck to them).

I don't mind if it's reclaimed or savescummed. I'd ever so slightly prefer scummed so that I can reclaim my name, 'cos Samrek's a lot catchier than Samzul. :P
But it's not a big deal.
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