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What should Zathel do on his turn?

Hook up FAILCANNON to magma sea (powered by a huge dwarven reactor).
- 11 (28.2%)
Build a castle over the fortress entrance.
- 11 (28.2%)
Flush all the grime from Battlefailed with carefully arranged sewage system.
- 7 (17.9%)
Construct opulent quarters for every dwarf in Battlefailed.
- 3 (7.7%)
Get rid of every Forgotten Beast using huge cave-in traps
- 7 (17.9%)

Total Members Voted: 39

Voting closed: July 31, 2010, 02:35:48 pm


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Author Topic: Battlefailed (Succession) Legendary Clusterf**k, free for all reclaim  (Read 290107 times)

melkorp

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #285 on: June 06, 2010, 09:59:45 am »

I'd like to suggest SethCreiyd, legendary storyteller, should grab this and run with it
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He he he.  Yeah, it almost looks done...  alas...  those who are in your teens, hold on until your twenties...  those in your twenties, your thirties...  others, cling to life as you are able...It should be pretty fun though.

Robocorn

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #286 on: June 06, 2010, 10:25:12 am »

Seth comes after Oglokoog, If oglokoog can't get started by today then it's seth's turn.

Oglokoog

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #287 on: June 06, 2010, 10:26:35 am »

Seth comes after Oglokoog, If oglokoog can't get started by today then it's seth's turn.
Sadly, I don't think I will be able to play today. Imma upload the end-of-spring save.

Here it is.
Please post something immediately after downloading the save, I need to delete it from there as soon as possible. Thanks.
« Last Edit: June 06, 2010, 10:45:35 am by Oglokoog »
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So we got monsters above, monsters below, dwarves in the middle and a party in the dining hall. Sounds good to me.
If all else fails, remember one thing:  kittens are delicious, nutritious little goblin-baiters, cavern explorers, and ambush-finders.

SethCreiyd

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #288 on: June 06, 2010, 11:13:12 am »

I have the save now.  Update forthcoming.
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SethCreiyd

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #289 on: June 06, 2010, 01:39:13 pm »

I dwarfed pretty much everyone on the list.  This can be undone if it bothers anyone.  So far I've just poked around the fort, assigned a few designations, new squads, etc.  The fort looks pretty good, actually.  One of the cleaner succession forts I've seen, if you don't mind skeletons.
===

The Journal of Creiyd Edusil
8th Hematite, 505, Early Summer

This is a leather bound parchment journal.  Inside the journal are scrawlings in charcoal.  The journal relates to the experiences of overseer Creiyd Clearlanterns at Battlefailed in 505.

Engraving is adversarial business.  It is dwarf against earth in a battle with one inevitable outcome:  the destruction of the rock, the subjugation of its form.  Forever you will scar its face with the likeness you deem fit for it to have, be it any thing of beauty or otherwise.

At University back at the Mountainhome, old Baucrates the Wise would argue this point when I brought it up in my thesis.  He said there is nothing adversarial about it; rock had no will to resist with, and neither did I, once I left the area, and anyone could come forth thereafter and smooth over my work, rendering my expression of will as empty as it had been before my time there.

Now then, whether or not the rock has a will, or was shaped by a will, is impossible to determine logically.  But let us assume, for the sake of argument, that it has.  Then, if I were not entitled to my craft, would the earth itself not swallow me whole?  True, will has its time when it must be focused elsewhere, on to tasks better suited to its purpose.  This usurper should have as much right to defy my will as I had to defile the rock.  And perhaps the stone, in its tolerance, in its passive acceptance, has given permission.


I came to this dismal fishing fort in order to learn to survive.  It was my hope that living among the undead would raise my appreciation for life.  One could say that it has.  I have learned to wallow in it.  Being here has taught me the world is a mass of chaos, a gibbering canvas meaningless until it has been tamed and taught form.  If it does have a will of its own, 'tis a mindless will, that cares not what happens to it or anyone that meets it, for it cannot meet anyone.


The other reason I came here was to practice my philosophy in some secret far off place, hidden from the prying eyes of the Queen.  Obviously, since she banned the Guild of Philosophers we have been forced to live in something of a shadow.  There's just no work in the business, anymore.

It can't be denied that life here is interesting.  My predecessors have fully documented the history of this place, which will be useful for my present task.  About an hour ago, Oglokoog the Overseer stepped down from his position and nominated me as his successor.  I do not understand why.  We do not know each other well.  I suspect my education credentials alone have qualified me.  Still, I cannot fight such a bountiful turn of fate.  I happily accepted.


(author's note: nobles glitch = fixed!  hooray new version)

So here I am, the new overseer, reading the relevent paperwork.  It seems that when ordering this outpost built, the Queen requested 'a Dwarven Paradise.'  Seems more like a tongue-in-cheek way of sentencing a few undesirables to death.  I've always found the authority of royalty to be... invigorating.

Paradise, she said.  I will entertain lurid thoughts of the Queen tonight, a treason far more wholesome in these pages than my mind.

Great Lur, this most humble servant thanks thee for this opportunity.  I shall erect before thee a great temple, that I may be worth a nibble of the fruit of thy tempting grace.



O Battlefailed, thou art stone.
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Oglokoog

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #290 on: June 06, 2010, 03:16:47 pm »

I am speechless.
Yes, you're that good.

Also, if anyone was wondering, my dwarf's custom profession is "Whateverer". And, of course, my yay can most definitely be added to the big pile of yays for the new version, the nobles glitch was bothering me for a long time.
Some notes:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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So we got monsters above, monsters below, dwarves in the middle and a party in the dining hall. Sounds good to me.
If all else fails, remember one thing:  kittens are delicious, nutritious little goblin-baiters, cavern explorers, and ambush-finders.

SethCreiyd

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #291 on: June 06, 2010, 10:42:17 pm »

Journal Excerpts

I have taken control of the Overseer's quarters from Samrist.  It's quite comfortable.  This position has its perks.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The leader of the Mason's Guild, Cog Racksects, a dwarf I've only recently formally met, is the most beautiful person I have ever laid eyes on.


She speaks with the eloquence of elves, but with the fire of a dwarf.  The sight of her fills me with a coldness that threatens to paralyze my spine and throw shivers down my limbs.  Her intellect is keener than the sharpest blade, and when her eyes take hold of mine, it is as though every secret I have is laid bare to her, and with it there is an understanding of power, as if with a glance it is known I am hers.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Of course, she is the lover of Militia Commander Krimson.  I cannot hate the dwarf, no matter how I'd like to.  He's a noble enough sort.  I might admit his death would be a boon if not for the sadness it would bring to bear, but to him I'll bear no ill will.  For now, all I can do is watch from a distance and wait for my time.

It is fortunate I write this journal in code.  It would be less fortunate if others could read it.

In other news, we have no doctor.  Not a suturer nor a bone setter nor even a bloody nurse.  Oglokoog has been declared Chief Medical Dwarf, but he doesn't know medicine any better than the rest of us, he just happens to be the dwarf willing to stain his hands in the attempt.  Let us hope practice perfects.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

This morning there came excited shouts from the beach -- skeletal muskoxen were sighted near the front gates.  They attacked the elves that were lingering about our trade depot.  The elves and their animals were quickly and noisily maimed by one of the skoxen that passed through the entrance platform.  This is just how I hoped my first day on the job would turn out.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

While the wounded lay moaning outside, Commander Krimson assembled the Battlefailed militia.  "The Good Rocks," they call themselves.  So adorable.  Ten brazen dwarves prepared to hurl themselves at a terrifying enemy without even a weapon to shake.  I would admire their courage if I didn't marvel at their stupidity.


Skeletons are strange creatures.  Despite their lack of muscles, they are unspeakably strong.  As an example of this, Tolbul the swordsdwarf was thrown over the side of a wall by the skox.  Three more dwarves piled on top of the creature, trying to wrestle it to the ground and immobilize it.  After sighting the struggle, the rest of the fort descended into free panic.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Someone kept shouting, "The skeleton is bleeding!  The skeleton is bleeding!"


Kikrost and Krimson have suffered severe injuries to their legs before the beast suddenly stopped struggling, its sinister energies spent.  Its rear right hoof lay scant inches from its face when it finally gave in.


We recovered our wounded, but before long, more skoxen appeared.


I ordered the drawbridge raised and the doors sealed.  I remember thinking those stupid elves could fend for themselves, and hoped they'd distract the monster long enough to cut ourselves off.


Alas, the bridge was pulled too late, and a skox was locked inside as it raised.  An elf and his donkey who had been standing on the bridge before it lifted were thrown into the air to land on the ground with an outspoken crunch.  Trapped along with the skox were some wounded elves and their pockmarked animals. 

A couple unfortunate dwarves are stuck outside with the rest of the skoxen.  May Lur have pity on them and grant them quick release.


Concerned, I persuaded a nearby dwarf to make a noble sacrifice for the good of the fort.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Catten was just a lowly soap maker in life, a peasant of no consequence or significance whatsoever.  Ambitionless, he would have drifted through life without purpose before dying of old age, alone and forgotten.  Today, on what might have been be the last day of his life, that fate would be forever altered.

Samrist and Ilmoren locked themselves inside the fishing platform away from the rampaging skox, while Catten makes a hopeless stand against it, buying time until the rest of the militia arrives.


As I write, he is slowly dying, blissfully unconscious after the pain in his shattered leg caused him to pass out.  His throat has been gored, and he appears to be struggling for breath as blood pools in the wound.  The astute may be wondering how I know this.


I'm watching from above, of course.  That is my job, after all.

*   *   *

Thanks, Oglokoog.  I've taken your advice into account.  So, the military had to fight the skoxen bare-fisted because the arsenal dwarf didn't have time to prepare the new manifests before the battle started.  The oxen were attacking as soon as I unpaused to play.  I wish they'd have the autonomy to grab a weapon in an emergency without waiting for bureaucratic approval, but such is the life of a dwarf.

I had to throw the whole jealous infatuation thing in there.  It was too appropriate, given my dwarf's relationship sheet (he's a furtive, introspective, socially-awkward dwarf with two real friends, one of them is her, and he worships the god of jealousy, whereas she worships a fertility deity -- a Venus if there ever was one.  Combined with her collection of Elite Wrestler and high society friends and her military lover, it's just perfect.

Anyhow, more to come.
« Last Edit: June 07, 2010, 12:31:20 am by SethCreiyd »
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SethCreiyd

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #292 on: June 07, 2010, 12:20:14 am »

It occurred to me that my well being was at stake, so I started to shout as loud as I could for assistance.  Before long, the militia came running up the stairs.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Now that they have their axes, our militia isn't so powerless.  The ox was quickly sundered, collapsing voicelessly into a pile of loosely connected and harmless bones.  With the threat eliminated. order is restored.  The next day, the event is almost completely forgotten.  It seems we are getting used to the skanimals, and our fear of them is lessening.

I told Cog of my feelings for her, to no avail.  Our relationship remains maddeningly as friends.  Very well.  I will subjugate my lust for the greater honor of being close to her.  Such abasement shames me, but I seek the greater glory of Lur, and shall be rewarded for these trials.  Rather than mope in my quarters, I've set about improving this wretched little hovel we call home.  Take this underground farm that is completely unused.  It should be removed to make room for something that isn't.


Over the next few weeks the militia slew a few more skoxen, and with only two spare axes it has mostly still been the work of only bare hands and stoutness, with our forces sustaining only minor injuries.  The harsh nature of this land seems to be weeding out all weakness in these dwarves.  On a related note, Catten survived his injuries, and is resting in bed.  He's now a local hero.  I don't expect he will thank me.

The guard has been stationed outside while construction ensues on the new entrance.  Labor production is up.  With the construction of the new  bedrooms, there are plenty of sleeping spaces to go around.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Samrist, the sheriff and ex-overseer, was refusing to work.  Several tasks had been offered to him, none of which appeared to satisfy his lofty criteria.  Finally, after being confronted, he agreed to something.



Whatever.  I don't care what he does, as long as it isn't nothing.  There is too much to be done around here for there to be any laziness.  I have spread this motivational outlook to our more idle workers, making them part of something they can be proud of: our new entrance hall.  It was completed just in time for the human caravan to arrive.

Typically, once the last human merchant passed through our gates, a horde of skeletal horses was spotted galloping over the horizon.  The caravan guards made liberal use of their impotent crossbows from the depot.  One of them was counting out loud for every shot he made:  "One, two, three!"  I think he is an idiot.


To the traders, we passed off a few worthless trinkets for metal, booze, wood, and food.  I don't understand how these humans are so naive.  Later that day, Samrist ran through the halls screaming about a brilliant idea and stopped at a Craftsdwarf's workshop.  Whatever he'd thought of, he worked on it quickly.  He was finished in a half-hour.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Well, it's a nice mug.  I don't see the point of it, but if it brings more immigrants to this dross heap, I say we make a dozen.  We need some new she-dwarves around here.

In other news, Andreus has replaced HeyGuys as bookkeeeper, while the latter recuperates from injuries sustained from something I can't remember.  Also, construction on Lur's Temple is progressing nicely.


We're using our abundance of coke and ore to forge new weapons and armor for our soldiers, and new picks for the miners.  It seems the best use for the metal at this point.

There are too many Lur-damned animals in this fort.  I awoke this morning to find dung outside my bedroom door.  It has to end.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I've decided to assist in their removal.


Earlier this foggy afternoon, another herd of skhorses was seen charging the fort from across the sand.  The gates were promptly ordered shut.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Poor Id, a farmer of some sort, was trapped outside with the horses and was trampled to death.  Pity, as she was a pretty lass.  She was the spouse of our broker; I expect Melkorp will be unhappy to learn of his wife's demise.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What else?  I think Cog and Krimson are planning to marry.  No migrants so far this year.  To hell with them.  A milker died of thirst.  I don't remember his name.  This damned fortress can drown anon in an ocean of piss for all I'd care that I'd not see the morrow.


*   *   *

It has deadly dust!  Of course it does!  But I don't think it can reach us.  It's just aimlessly swimming around in the under-river.

And Melkorp couldn't have cared less when his wife was killed.  I lol'd when I saw that.
« Last Edit: June 07, 2010, 12:36:37 am by SethCreiyd »
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #293 on: June 07, 2010, 12:35:53 am »

Is Urist the Blue the Immortal the Second still alive (It was changed to Urist II a while ago)? If so, can you change my name back to the incredibly long aforementioned name and change his title to "Manifestation of the Purest Awesome" please? I don't want anyone to know what I'm doing, no matter how innocuous it may seem.

<.<

Also requesting turn.
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
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Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

SethCreiyd

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #294 on: June 07, 2010, 12:43:27 am »

Spoiler: Big Spoiler: (click to show/hide)
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #295 on: June 07, 2010, 01:04:06 am »

Wow, I really did come back to life?! I'm Urist the Blue and not Urist the Blue II. FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!! Most epic dwarf in the fort right there.

Also, I have changed my last name. That was intentional. Seriously, do you realize how many people giggle when you say your last name is Zulbananan?
« Last Edit: June 07, 2010, 01:06:17 am by Urist Imiknorris »
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

Oglokoog

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #296 on: June 07, 2010, 01:19:23 am »

"My spouse has died, but Armok strike me down if that Trade Depot isn't just fabulous!"
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So we got monsters above, monsters below, dwarves in the middle and a party in the dining hall. Sounds good to me.
If all else fails, remember one thing:  kittens are delicious, nutritious little goblin-baiters, cavern explorers, and ambush-finders.

Robocorn

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #297 on: June 07, 2010, 01:56:32 am »

Great updates SethCreiyd. I'm not sure whether I'm more satisfied or impressed.

I've processed Urist Imiknorris's request for placement.

I wonder if the prescence of the forgotten beast will ward off any titans that may come strolling through. Fourtunately our FB lacks the power of flight.

How do monsters keep getting in? I had two drawbridges set up by the end of my turn, I'm sure either Andreus or Samthere constructed new drawbridges. How is it that our defense mechanisms are so ineffective?

Urist Imiknorris

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #298 on: June 07, 2010, 02:07:48 am »

I think raised bridges can be destroyed in 31.xx.

Also merchants. Just like in Nist Akath, the elves are used to lower our defenses so the skelks can enter.
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

SethCreiyd

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #299 on: June 07, 2010, 02:44:30 am »

The oxen in the beginning were the only ones to actually get through the gates, because the lever was pulled too late.  When the horses attacked, the gates were closed in time, but Id got stuck outside, poor thing.  By the time the militia got there to rescue her, it was too late.  None of the bridges were destroyed.

*   *   *

Autumn arrived, along with our outpost liaison the same day.  He was a human, and a very odd human he was.  In retrospect, all the foreigners that come here have acted a bit strangely, but Rigoth stood out in particular.  I refer to him in the past tense because his peculiar actions led him to a rather noteworthy end.


He reached the front of our gates, but instead of walking into the fortress as any rational being might, he took off in chase of some elk (of a non-skeletal sort, for a change).  Why he did this, no one is certain.  He bounded off to the south in pursuit, laughing, leaving us scratching our beards in bewilderment, wondering if this accursed beach holds a bane to the senses only dwarves are immune to.


Rigoth chased the elk directly into a group of kobolds armed with copper swords which had been hiding half-buried in the sand.  They popped out of the ground on every side of him.


It was over quickly.  Once he had stopped moving, the kobolds charged the front gates, spattered in the blood of our former liaison.  The Good Rocks were there to meet them.  In a flash of iron, three of the vermin were dead.  Confronted by superior forces, the kobolds fled quickly, but not before they left their mark.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Obok lost his entire left arm, and Kikrost is missing most of her right.  Still, they are alive, they will grow stronger, their sacrifice having served its purpose.  Battlefailed is safe.


In fact, Kikrost is one of the most impressive dwarves I have ever seen.  She refused assistance, and walked herself off the battlefield, clutching her own gory stump hard enough to stem the bleeding.  And the entire while, she never dropped her shield.  The rest of the soldiers have started calling her "The Iron Vanguard."

Not only that, The Vanguard has avoided medical attention completely.  Astonishing our doctor, she refused to be taken off duty.  I assume she's suffered some trauma from her ordeal.  I do not believe in such bravery of its own sake, but as long as she remains useful, I won't complain about it.


Tragedy struck during an attempt to access the subterranean magma.  Urist the Blue was drowned in a flash flood when one of of the walls surrounding the river was breached.  Fortunately, the flood poses no threat to the fortress, but I doubt we'll ever recover Urist's corpse.


A new route has been planned to the future site of our magma forges.


Before Winter sets in, a few statues have been tastefully arranged by the main entrance, and traps are being rigged between them.  The more protection we have from the undead animals outside, the better.


As Autumn draws to a close, I find myself in an unfamiliar state.  I am unable to wrench away from Cog's hold over me.  She has possessed my intention without an attempt.  This has never happened to me before.  I have confided in Andreus my troubles.  He suggested it is love that I feel.  What a ridiculous notion.  What I feel is a hopeless infatuation complicated by my obsessive single-mindedness.  I simply can't help it.

Spoiler: Meanwhile... (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: June 08, 2010, 03:49:19 pm by SethCreiyd »
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