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What should Zathel do on his turn?

Hook up FAILCANNON to magma sea (powered by a huge dwarven reactor).
- 11 (28.2%)
Build a castle over the fortress entrance.
- 11 (28.2%)
Flush all the grime from Battlefailed with carefully arranged sewage system.
- 7 (17.9%)
Construct opulent quarters for every dwarf in Battlefailed.
- 3 (7.7%)
Get rid of every Forgotten Beast using huge cave-in traps
- 7 (17.9%)

Total Members Voted: 39

Voting closed: July 31, 2010, 02:35:48 pm


Pages: 1 ... 26 27 [28] 29 30 ... 60

Author Topic: Battlefailed (Succession) Legendary Clusterf**k, free for all reclaim  (Read 278400 times)

Andreus

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #405 on: July 11, 2010, 11:05:52 am »

I shall not fail the fortress that I named. Loading up the save - 31.08 with Mayday tileset's OK, right?
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Robocorn

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #406 on: July 11, 2010, 11:08:21 am »

I shall not fail the fortress that I named. Loading up the save - 31.08 with Mayday tileset's OK, right?
If it don't break the save it's fine with me.

Andreus

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #407 on: July 11, 2010, 12:29:35 pm »

25th Obsidian, 208



It has become clear to me that the problems with Battlefailed, both practical and philosophical, are indicative not of a flaw in specific dwarves but of flaws in the dwarven condition itself. It has become apparent that the old answers to tyranny and poverty are inadequate. I've required several years to contemplate this problem effectively. The checks and balances of dwarven society were created because they realise how unfit they are to govern themselves, but the intrinsic flaws of the individual are reflected in the societies they create. Thusly, any society that dwarves create will be by definition tainted by the flaws in dwarven nature.

The solution, then, is not to invent a better society, but to address the flaws in dwarven nature itself.

I will create the world's first postdwarven society, here in Battlefailed, and those who dwell in this fortress shall become the first citizens.
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Oglokoog

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #408 on: July 11, 2010, 01:02:15 pm »

Why is forbidding the items on the surface so hard? Does mass designation not work? I am confused.
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So we got monsters above, monsters below, dwarves in the middle and a party in the dining hall. Sounds good to me.
If all else fails, remember one thing:  kittens are delicious, nutritious little goblin-baiters, cavern explorers, and ambush-finders.

melkorp

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #409 on: July 11, 2010, 01:15:36 pm »

what...is... "mass designation"...?  I feel a face palm coming on...
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He he he.  Yeah, it almost looks done...  alas...  those who are in your teens, hold on until your twenties...  those in your twenties, your thirties...  others, cling to life as you are able...It should be pretty fun though.

Andreus

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #410 on: July 11, 2010, 02:06:01 pm »

17th Granite, 509



I have appropriated the overseer's quarters. I considerations that must be made to allow the formation of a new civilization will need to be made in considerable comfort. I feel no shame or hypocricy in this for when history vindicates my ideas and the new world order shines out across the realm, there will be no-one left with the need to quibble over a few creature comforts, for we will be beyond want and need.





Heck, if I can even make this place worthy to live in, they'll hail me as a genius.

It's clear that in the gap between my tenures as overseer we've had nothing but brain-dead swillheads and self-serving, arrogant pompous fools with no concern for anything but their own agenda. Thusly, it will be neccessary to remove the symbols of their reign as swiftly as possible. I was delighted to find that the gem window that was shamelessly stolen from my old sanctum before its mystical energies were ruined by the placement of a large number of corpses inside of it is now in the overseer's quarters, giving me a truly amazing view of the cavern below.

My first major project will be to flood the cave lake with magma and turn it into obsidian. Because that's what postdwarvenists do. We flood things.

With magma.

But in an entirely postdwarven manner.
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SethCreiyd

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #411 on: July 11, 2010, 02:07:52 pm »

 :D :D :D  Another philosopher, a postdwarvenist, no less.  This should be good as it is so far.

And great job melkorp, glad you popped up before it was too late.
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Andreus

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #412 on: July 11, 2010, 02:36:04 pm »

18th Felsite, 509

Two important arrivals and one important consideration have occured.

The first important arrival: dwarven migrants.



The second important arrival: a vile force of darkness.



The important consideration: I have absolutely no idea which lever to pull to seal the fortress.

IMPORTANT POSTSCRIPT: By an abnormally large blessing of good fortune, the elves arrived at the same time as the goblins, and are currently serving as a distraction.

« Last Edit: July 11, 2010, 02:41:36 pm by Andreus »
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Robocorn

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #413 on: July 11, 2010, 02:42:16 pm »

what do postdwarvenists do with goblins?

Andreus

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #414 on: July 11, 2010, 02:53:11 pm »



We slaughter them by the thousands.

But... you know, we do it ironically.
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Andreus

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #415 on: July 11, 2010, 03:02:25 pm »

28th Felsite, 509

The goblin siege has been utterly destroyed - a few have been taken prisoner and will await my consideration of some suitable example of postdwarvenist punishment. I estimate between ten and fifteen dwarves fell in the assault - including Rakust Battlearrows the Creepy Omen of Thunder, Axelord - tragic victims of the unenlightened savagery of the goblin hordes. On a lighter note, the magma pump project that will flood the cave with obsidian nears completion.

8th Hematite, 509

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!



GLRBLLLLRBLLLL!



GRLBRBRLRBLL - IT'S PERFECTLY FINE TO EXPORT NATIVE GOLD ITEMS AGAIN - HGGRRGKKGGLLghkkgblrblbll... brll... bllll...

« Last Edit: July 11, 2010, 03:13:31 pm by Andreus »
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Zathel

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #416 on: July 11, 2010, 03:29:00 pm »

Did a skeletal horse knock you into the ocean when you were running outside to get silk socks? If so, the irony of your death is staggering. A postdwarvenist killed while performing an action that exemplifies the classical notion of dwarven nature.

And what's with that shot of workshop floor? Are you implying something? You dare say something about superior workspace, constructed according to all proper regulations concerning work safety and efficiency streamlining?

Also, I have this impression that Battlefailed was really aptly named. We win battles, but our champions fail (at life) during them.
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Andreus

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #417 on: July 11, 2010, 03:30:08 pm »

19th Hematite, 509



*corny and unneccessary crack of thunder*



My, it certainly was fortuitous that I made preparations for recorporealisation back on page 12, wasn't it?
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Andreus

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #419 on: July 11, 2010, 04:25:26 pm »

7th Malachite, 509

The magma pump is complete! Now we can live the postdwarvenist dream of... lava! And water!

Yes.







I'm not entirely sure how exactly this relates to the postdwarvenist ideal of curing elements of the dwarven condition... but it sure looks cool.

12th Malachite, 509

Actually, on reflection, it seems to be an intrinsic flaw in the dwarven condition that we regularly perform dangerous, illogical and entirely unneccessary things without really knowing why. Why do dwarven miners sometimes decide to hack through thin pillars of rock supporting entire cave ceilings? Why will some dwarves knowingly wall themselves into large constructions, dooming themselves to death from starvation or thirst? Why do dwarves sometimes run out to collect trinkets and clothes from warriors fallen in battle with elite goblins? Why do dwarves mine adamantium when they know what lies beneath it? When the legendary
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
was built in Headshoots, who was the person who first had the concept? I ponder the magma pump at night and ask myself from whence actually came the idea, and I cannot work it out.

I meander into baseless speculation here, but it seems to me as if all dwarves are driven by some force that we are unable to resist, yet cannot quite understand or put our finger on. If, truly, that is so, then escaping beyond this force is surely the only way in which a postdwarven society could possibly flourish?

8th Galena, 509



We've just had another possession. But what if it is in fact, us that are possessed?

17th Galena, 509

The mysterious construction is underway - but what mysterious construction has been wrought with our own hands?



« Last Edit: July 11, 2010, 04:49:59 pm by Andreus »
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