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Poll

What should Zathel do on his turn?

Hook up FAILCANNON to magma sea (powered by a huge dwarven reactor).
- 11 (28.2%)
Build a castle over the fortress entrance.
- 11 (28.2%)
Flush all the grime from Battlefailed with carefully arranged sewage system.
- 7 (17.9%)
Construct opulent quarters for every dwarf in Battlefailed.
- 3 (7.7%)
Get rid of every Forgotten Beast using huge cave-in traps
- 7 (17.9%)

Total Members Voted: 39

Voting closed: July 31, 2010, 02:35:48 pm


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Author Topic: Battlefailed (Succession) Legendary Clusterf**k, free for all reclaim  (Read 315002 times)

Samthere

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #420 on: July 11, 2010, 05:01:31 pm »

YES! MAGMA PLUMBING!

Also
what...is... "mass designation"...?  I feel a face palm coming on...
{d}{b} - you can [un]forbid/[un]dump/[un]melt a whole region of items at once, the same way you might designate a square for digging.

Andreus

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #421 on: July 11, 2010, 07:58:35 pm »

26th Galena, 509





This scepter - is it a symbol of the grandeur of our civilization, or a reminder to us of all its flaws?

Oh, and we had another goblin siege and half our militia was killed, so I drafted 8 additional dwarves to fill out the ranks. Hopefully they'll become at least marginally proficient before the next problem shows up.

That leads me to more musing about what exactly possessed anyone to think that setting up in this sand-blasted, zombie-infested hellhole was a good idea. Why did we do it? What force compelled us to make such an ill-advised decision when there were places far more abundant with resources and less abundant with zombies and goblins. Why did we not go somewhere the goblins could not reach?

26th Galena, 509



In improving the magma delivery system such that more of the lake can be solidified, it seems we have accidentally channelled magma down an abandoned tunnel that seemed to be some sort of drainage system that emptied into the magma lake beneath the forges. Horrific screams were heard from down there - I'm not entirely sure what the heck they're coming from.
« Last Edit: July 11, 2010, 08:57:34 pm by Andreus »
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SethCreiyd

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #422 on: July 11, 2010, 09:10:12 pm »

Stop linking there!  You should both know better.

*   *   *

Diary of task manager Creiyd Edusil, Excerpts
   -----
The completion of the magma plumbing was recieved with much joy, too rare a resource in these troubled days.  Between the barbarian goblins and the monsters of bone, we've seen too many dwarves die too soon.

And there is something strange is going on here.  Several dwarves are complaining about lapses of memory, fainting spells, or actions made without understanding what or why at the time.

I fear either the inherent evil of the land has begun to subjugate our minds, or the abhorrent state of Lur's Temple has angered His Feminence and invoked a curse against us.  I must persuade the overseer to do something before it's too late.
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Andreus

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #423 on: July 11, 2010, 09:22:01 pm »

10th Opal, 509

A dwarf - a former overseer, I believe - came up to me today and asked me to consider Lur's temple.

I don't even know where it is.
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SethCreiyd

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #424 on: July 12, 2010, 12:28:04 am »

Diary of Creiyd Edusil, Excerpts
11th Opal, 509

   -----
When Battlefailed is struck by the gods and the rescue party finds this text, know that it wasn't my fault.

(OOC:  Horrifying screams?  Oh %&$*.)
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melkorp

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #425 on: July 12, 2010, 07:46:30 am »

what...is... "mass designation"...?  I feel a face palm coming on...
{d}{b} - you can [un]forbid/[un]dump/[un]melt a whole region of items at once, the same way you might designate a square for digging.

(Palm to face)
Thank you.
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He he he.  Yeah, it almost looks done...  alas...  those who are in your teens, hold on until your twenties...  those in your twenties, your thirties...  others, cling to life as you are able...It should be pretty fun though.

Andreus

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #426 on: July 12, 2010, 10:04:16 am »

Well guys, it's been awesome - not much happened, and I didn't get much done except a whole shit-ton of silver bars smelted and almost the entire underground lake in the third-tier cavern paved over.

However, just before my turn ended, this happened:



So you'll have something to look forward to.

I'd say we lost about twenty dwarves this year but the migrants kept arriving, so the population of our fair monstrosity has actually risen - I started with 88 and I think we were sitting somewhere around 105 when I saved.

Save here.
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Robocorn

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #427 on: July 12, 2010, 10:55:38 am »

Downloaded, I'll probably start tonight or tomorrow. I'm looking forward to seeing what  barely seven years has done to my awful patch of hell.

I can't decide whether or not I want to do that Fenetic Aksent thing.
« Last Edit: July 12, 2010, 11:12:17 am by Robocorn »
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Zathel

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #428 on: July 12, 2010, 11:33:04 am »

I'd like to postpone my turn - I'll take the turn after Pisano. The break between my turns would be a tad too short otherwise, I think.
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Robocorn

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #429 on: July 12, 2010, 05:18:50 pm »

Diary of Robocorn, Recollections of postmortem
A lot of stuff happened in hell, I wrestled with a three eyed moose with purple feathers that spat poison, I got to find out what bone meal tastes like (a bit dry really but not entirely offensive), I suffered pain in places that I didn't even have when I was alive, and I learned that the management of hell were a bunch of malignant fiends (not that I hadn't suspected it before). Apparently having found I had not suffered enough in his chamber of corrupt intentions (I did kinkier stuff when I was alive) the head ass demon decided it would be really funny to send me BACK to Battlefailed, the place where they broke both my legs, starved me, and strangled me to death. Before I had any say in the matter the bastards astral kicked my ass back out into the windy world.

As I phased through the ether I saw the blasted place, I hoped with my heart that nobody was there and I could leave. It looked like an invasion had been going on, maybe everyone was dead and I could go back to hell

The halls I floated through were bare and filled with rubble and old furniture. Everyone must have died in a goblin invasion. I bet Led is real pround of herself having sent all o me fellow dwarves to their doom.

There were tunnels going for miles under the rock I was just about to leave when I hear a sound. A sound of merriment.

What in the buttery devil is this?
A dwarven utopia, like Led had promised. A place where we didn't have to put up with any humans and their high ceilings or any of those Ngerxungs or emxas that Led made us recite. It was beautiful.

Until I remembered what the bastards did to me when I was alive. Those sons of bitches were going to pay!

There were many hosts I'd seen throughout this new Battlefailed, one even had been called Robocorn II which seeed more like an insult she was trying to throw off than any real nickname. I decided to start fresh with a little dwarven boy, nobody would notice if he got a little more spunk.

I'd show those bastards what for, there'll be no celebrating while I'm back, and I intend to live a full life now.
« Last Edit: July 26, 2010, 04:01:03 pm by Robocorn »
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Robocorn

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #430 on: July 14, 2010, 11:40:38 pm »

Diary of Robocorn Passgears, Plan of ultimate Dwarfhood
In the days of old we dwarves have had a great tradition of hosing our enemies down until they die. Be it water or
magma, my forebearers have done well with this formula. I will however do one better.

A sea, a great underground reservoir of toxic slime left by some reeking abomination that climbed outta hell to make
sure I was having fun. When I saw this horrifying mire of bodily fluid, I new I must delve to employ it for my own benefit. A dangerous task, but if I was interested in saving lives I wouldn't have made the plan in the first place.

I'm beginning to see the folly of choosing the body of a child. The only people who listen to you are idiots. here they are wandering around out in the skelk infested wilds with no equipment just asking to be slaughtered outright. The bastards have yet t' learn a thing from living in Battlefailed. Even after I tell 'em not to bother with the damn discarded bolts they refuse to go in because something has spooked them.

Skelks.

I send out a legendary axedwarf to take out the skelks as well as the other parties.

It does not go as planned, though I feel it is a little cathartic to see the successor of the dwarf that strangled me to
death being beaten by skelks. Maybe if he lives I can drop him in to the toxic sea to fight the demon turtle.

Much to my amusement, Krimson 2 is joined by a swordsman with a broken arm and a recruit. Really guys, where did
all these dead goblins come from? were they on sale?

Eventually the recruit manages to take down the skelks with his bare hands and leaves the two pathetic crippled soldiers to rot on the beach, class act, class act.

In a totally unrelated measure, a previously enamored dwarf who had been working on some project in the workshop
finally showed his finished product.

Well at least I won't be getting a bad back.

The first casualty of my reign is a legendary miner, I'd never heard of him so he can't be that great, he fell to his doom in the sea to nobody's surprise. I just wish he'd lived long enough to let me know what kind of pain the secretion has.
I'm itchin' to find that out.


Our second casualty in the construction was another miner , the poor fella was coated in the slime but didn't show any abnormal signs. He must've been too busy drowning to help with the important task of diagnosing poisons.


It dinnae matter anyway, we've got plenty of dwarves, an' you'll find soon enough that I'm not picky about me workers,

If ye got arms an legs y' can milk a camel, design a screw pump, an dig through twent metric tonnes o' rock, an th'
absence of which does nae disqualify yah from doing these things either

It was barely a month before I got my first batch of goblin visitors, It's a shame the part favors aren't ready yet. I
greeted the greenskins the way the queen always greeted us dwarves, with a traditional goblin welcome of "Osat garu-
slömod! Reko-ruspkes. ugsmez-êl emxasnuz!" I then let out a hearty laugh like Led always did after the greeting, hoping

they would just go away. For some reason it made them come at us faster. Maybe, I put the wrong inflections on it.

I begin my victory over the goblin horde by bringing everyone inside, (including a bunch o elves that happened to be in
the area), unfortunately somebody put all of the levers, all the same color in the same room. When I find out what wise guy did this I'm going to have them keelhauled.

It is at this time that I learn that NONE of the levers in the lever room control the drawbridge and that the designers of the fort for the last nine years have long awaited their chance to fuck with me.

The obvious solution is to throw soldiers at them.
This of course fails, and much of the idiot surface dwellers die. Meanwhile we're enjoying a bit of wet weather

underground due to the DAMN DROWNING TRAP. I've isolated the lever that caused it but nobody's prepared to

pull the damn thing. I can see why I was sent back here.

I'll give this to the elves, they've got some pretty big balls. I make the most of their ridiculous ballsiness by unloading all

of our crappy stone projects that I made the peons do to get rid of stone and badly damaged clothing. The bastards
clearly can't tell the difference between a good deal and an employment as garbagemen.

Naturally, as with all my good plans, it falls flat on its face the elves refuse to accept my gifts, cheeky bastards, I'd sleep with their princess out of spite, I probably wouldn't even enjoy it I'd just do it to create a longlasting conflict with them so I could hose them down with fluid.

I hope Okolobok is comfy, cause I still have to wait out the unending flood trap that's drowning the entire fort.
« Last Edit: July 26, 2010, 04:07:39 pm by Robocorn »
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TurkeyXIII

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #431 on: July 15, 2010, 01:08:38 am »

Bwahahaha. 

I thought I put enough drainage on that thing.  Unless something got in the way of the drawbridge and stopped it from opening... or maybe Andreus' magmatic experiments blocked the plumbing...

Or maybe it's just poorly designed.  I never actually had time to test it with a full cistern.

Edit:  Oh, I know what's happened.  In pulling levers at random to find the gate control you've opened the fill valve and the plumbing access at the same time.  Yeah, that would cause a flood.
« Last Edit: July 15, 2010, 01:44:09 am by TurkeyXIII »
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A medium-sized bird with a distinctive fleshy wattle that hangs from the underside of the beak, and a fleshy protuberance that hangs from the top of its beak called a snood.

SethCreiyd

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #432 on: July 15, 2010, 03:34:08 am »

Better not let Krimson 2 die.  He's Cog's lover and they're both friends with a quarter of the fort.

On second thought, I say we let him die.
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melkorp

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #433 on: July 15, 2010, 08:55:43 am »

Oh! I forgot to mention i disabled all levers in Upper BFailed.  I call the large flooded area "Lake Mistake".
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He he he.  Yeah, it almost looks done...  alas...  those who are in your teens, hold on until your twenties...  those in your twenties, your thirties...  others, cling to life as you are able...It should be pretty fun though.

Robocorn

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #434 on: July 15, 2010, 09:43:20 am »

Better not let Krimson 2 die.  He's Cog's lover and they're both friends with a quarter of the fort.

On second thought, I say we let him die.
He died in his first encounter and has been rotting ever since.

Thanks, Turkey. The only way this could be better is if Osman decided to sneak in through your poorly placed cistern access port.
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