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What should Zathel do on his turn?

Hook up FAILCANNON to magma sea (powered by a huge dwarven reactor).
- 11 (28.2%)
Build a castle over the fortress entrance.
- 11 (28.2%)
Flush all the grime from Battlefailed with carefully arranged sewage system.
- 7 (17.9%)
Construct opulent quarters for every dwarf in Battlefailed.
- 3 (7.7%)
Get rid of every Forgotten Beast using huge cave-in traps
- 7 (17.9%)

Total Members Voted: 39

Voting closed: July 31, 2010, 02:35:48 pm


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Author Topic: Battlefailed (Succession) Legendary Clusterf**k, free for all reclaim  (Read 307619 times)

Robocorn

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #465 on: July 18, 2010, 06:44:26 pm »

(Mouth hanging slackly open)
What ... happened here?
Fun. Lots of it.

SethCreiyd

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #466 on: July 18, 2010, 09:18:20 pm »

It would be really something if Led did show up.  Unfortunately she might be over a hundred by the time we're ready for her.  ;^^

I couldn't find Samrist in the units list, but I did find a deceased Samrek and a deceased Samzul.  It's possible Samrist was bodysnatched by a former overseer and his identity hidden.

The surviving named dwarves are as follows:  Matuin: legendary miner, Leesin: legendary miner in temporal stasis in the cursed arena, Ilmoran: legendary mason, and that's it.  If anyone wants to be dwarfed/re-dwarfed please say so.

Spoiler: Edit: Things to Come? (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: July 18, 2010, 09:25:54 pm by SethCreiyd »
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Andreus

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #467 on: July 18, 2010, 11:06:47 pm »

Battlefailed has now become a moral dilemma akin to whether or not to keep a person terminally ill with colon cancer on life support.
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SethCreiyd

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #468 on: July 18, 2010, 11:54:36 pm »

Sethrist Oraclefortress, Expedition Leader's Log, 10th Slate


I've encountered some kind of cave demon.  I... I don't think I'll be leaving this place alive.


|



Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Andreus

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #469 on: July 19, 2010, 12:47:07 am »

I just noticed this:

My god... this was a terrible idea.

Robocorn, put this quote in the OP please. I think it neatly summarises every decision made in Battlefailed since it began.
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Zathel

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape. [turns open!]
« Reply #470 on: July 19, 2010, 04:44:46 am »

I died? Man, I knew I should have built myself that bunker I was thinking about, stocked it with enough food to last 10 years and just kept doing the bookkeeping in peace.

So, Osman was let out from the underground to the surface? And it will, using it's clairvoyant powers, make it's way right into Battlefailed? Oh, how fun! At least our military got plenty of practice hacking living targets apart!
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melkorp

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #471 on: July 19, 2010, 06:12:47 am »



Sigun Hamerack the Cremation of Dunes?  Rakust Battlearrows the Creepy Omen?  These are the heroes of the (presumably) long-since-annihilated Earthen Gloves, if I remember right.  Hmm, what's covered in both horse and squad blood?...
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He he he.  Yeah, it almost looks done...  alas...  those who are in your teens, hold on until your twenties...  those in your twenties, your thirties...  others, cling to life as you are able...It should be pretty fun though.

SethCreiyd

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape. [turns open!]
« Reply #472 on: July 19, 2010, 06:57:30 am »

The blood is just running down the main staircase so it's all mixing together.  ^_^


Journal of Overseer Creiydrek Yearrings, Excerpts

Slate


Here was the Duty Roster this morning:

- 1 me, overseeing the "fortress."
- 1 legendary miner, digging a new fort section.
- 13 soldiers, doing soldierly things.
- 1 woodworker, refusing to do work.
- 1 terrible doctor, not doing his job.
- 1 legendary mason, disposing of corpses.
- 1 bookkeeper, disposing of corpses.
- 1 bone carver, disposing of corpses.
- 1 blacksmith, disposing of corpses.
- 1 brewer, sleeping.
- 7 children, two of them badly mangled and in comas.
- 4 babies, two of them starving to death, one sitting in the hospital and one being carried by her melancholic mother.
- 5 cripples, wasting our food as they lie in bed, useless.
- 7 mad dwarves, scaring the pants off of us.
- 2 lost souls, endlessly floating in the Accursed Arena.  More on them and that later.

We are left with a frighteningly low number capable of performing actual work. This called for some serious reassignment of the schedules.  Our mason has been set to work on coffins for our fallen.  For my part, I've been carrying food and booze down to the new fort section being carved out.  If we need to seal ourselves in there the point will be to survive for a while, not worry about farm operations.

I've cut the ranks of the Fortress Guard down to our five most accomplished axedwarves.  They are to spend their free time cleaning up all the corpses and body parts they scattered about the place, an arrangement they've accepted as just.  I've had to disband the lofty Earthen Gloves, as they refused to stop training in light of our need for more civilian discipline.  Despite this blow to morale, the new squad is excited at the prospect of a fresh beginning and Sigun has chosen a name she hopes will reflect it.


Most of them received their title after the Great Berserking, during which they each took the lives of at least three dwarves - with the exception of Atis, who only killed two, poor thing.


Dishmab was relieved from guard duties, her insatiable thirst for blood having earned the scorn of her peers, who refer to her only as "Murderer."  I have neglected to point out the hypocrisy at work here.

Meanwhile, I've limited the militia to our Swordsmistress and Zon Ethadadil, who is a legendary swordsdwarf AND stonecrafter.  Talented fellow.  If we didn't need so many coffins he'd be making toys.  The Furnace Operator is now Chief Engineer since we lack for anyone better.

Our Battle-Broker has been elected Battle-Mayor.  He met the news with characteristic joy.



I've made the difficult decision to continue feeding the wounded, but I've assigned just one dwarf to it, one of the former soldiers.  The previous doctor has been assigned to hauling duty.  In the meantime, I resumed production of booze and plump helmets, and have begun reconstruction of the main bridge.


A colossal defensive weapon, the brainchild of our former child prodigy, has had its construction suspended until further notice.


Today I took my weekly trip to the hospital to check on the invalids.


Well, that's beautiful.  I love walking downstairs first thing in the morning to smell someone's carnal wreckage oozing all over the floor.  These soldiers need to quit polishing their axes and get this shit out of there before I trick them into killing each other.


I had words with the Babysaver Oddom at the top of the stairs.  She woke up with a numb foot.  It's all very mysterious.


Our wounded are doomed, but they cling to life by a thread.  If they die one by one the shock may be dampened a little; then again, maybe shock after shock would be worse.  Time will tell.


As I sat listening to a dying dwarf's final requests, I watched as the new Doctor attempted to suture a patient and got punched in the head for his efforts.  I hope he isn't scared away from trying to heal others.


The abusive patient spent the next five minutes screaming at her child before breaking into wretched heaving sobs.  Her child looked up at me, as if I could provide her some comfort, or an explanation.  I didn't know what to say, so I told her she could help me break down a floor later.  I don't think I provided much cheer.


This is the Accursed Arena, which I believe is a portal to hell.  No one ever wants to go in there.  A mysterious floor collapse back when it was being built trapped two of the unfortunate miners present.  To this day they hover there in the air without sound or motion like a pair of floating flesh statues.  They don't look alive, but they don't look dead either.  Only they know if they're conscious.

I have concocted a plan to free them that will make everyone love me.  If a cave-in trapped them the way they are now, then maybe a cave-in will free them.  I've called for the necessary mechanics to be set in place.  I hope this works, let's hope Otik's got my back on this one.


17th Slate

I checked in with the workers this afternoon.  How's that new wing coming along, Matuin?



Okay.  How about you, bookkeeper?  Making progress?



I see.  And you, brewer?  Are we still running out of booze?



I sigh at these people. 

19th Slate

While I was busy thinking up ways to punish our brewer for his incompetence, Tulon the Battle-Mayor rushed up to me with urgent news.


Good for the bloody buzzards, I guess they're building nests for the wee ones or something.  Oddly enough, they showed no interest in the massive pile of dwarf fragments rotting along the shore.

21st Slate


On the one-month anniversary of my becoming Overseer, the mayor went crazy.  At least he no longer suffers, I hope.

Slate 24

The buzzards attacked in force today.  The first of them were spotted flying over the walls by the Fortress Guard, but they flew right past and into the fortress proper.


Soon there were dead buzzards in every corner of Battlefailed, both before and after they stopped moving.


Three melancholics died of thirst last night within minutes of each other.  Now at least we have coffins to throw them in.  Also, the Woodcrafter took off his clothes in the dining room and hasn't stopped laughing since.  Tulon the Crazed Battle-Mayor joined him up on the table.  One can only hope Felsite is so tranquil as the last month.

Meanwhile.

« Last Edit: July 19, 2010, 07:14:40 am by SethCreiyd »
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Zathel

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape. [turns open!]
« Reply #473 on: July 19, 2010, 11:18:44 am »

Oh gods... can't... stop... laughing...

What's the height of happiness achieved by dwarves of Battlefailed? Content? Sad? Maybe ecstatic? There has to be at least one happy dwarf amidst all that chaos, it wouldn't be Dwarf Fortress otherwise.
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Eric Blank

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape. [turns open!]
« Reply #474 on: July 19, 2010, 02:37:49 pm »

There is at least one ecstatic resident. The rotting corpse of melkorp, Or whoever it was that got shot in the neck. A hilarious moment, but I can neither locate it nor remember it perfectly.

I think toady should force the emotional state of the deceased to reflect their position in the afterlife, based on their personality/deeds versus the ethics of their civilization. (if we consider these identical to the will of the gods of said civilization.) There are gonna be a lot of elves and goblins in their heavens, for whom heinous acts are the standard, and a lot of humans and dwarves in their hells, because they're still idiots despite the gods' constant screaming in their ears.
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"THEN CAME TOBNOM, ASS-GOD".
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Andreus

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape. [turns open!]
« Reply #475 on: July 19, 2010, 03:31:48 pm »

despite the gods' constant screaming in their ears.

Thakom Earthgems remains silent.
Thakom Earthgems remains silent.
Thakom Earthgems remains silent.
Thakom Earthgems remains silent.
Thakom Earthgems remains silent.
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Thakom Earthgems remains silent.
Thakom Earthgems remains silent.
Thakom Earthgems remains silent.
Thakom Earthgems remains silent.
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Twobeard

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape. [turns open!]
« Reply #476 on: July 19, 2010, 06:42:15 pm »

This is one of the most hilariously dwarvenly things i have seen since Bronzemurder. Great job guys. If i wasnt so intimidated/retarded, i would totally love to be a part of this. That being said it doesnt sound like you have many dwarves left. :P you really need the next mirant wave to survive. Good luck guys and keep on the hilarity!
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A leg of ham, a jug of beer and thou besides me, whistling in the darkness.

SethCreiyd

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape. [turns open!]
« Reply #477 on: July 19, 2010, 07:12:31 pm »

Journal of Overseer Creiydrek Yearrings, Excerpts

Felsite


A new mayor was elected, and I took the chance to speak with her today.  She's a likable young lass.


She's a former member of the Earthen Gloves, and she has a taste for giant spider meat, so kudos to her.  The only complaint I have is her demand that we switch to ranged weapons.  Nobody's using crossbows, I told her, but she was adamant that I provide at least one new quiver to prove that I'm considering the request.  There's just no getting through to some folks.  At any rate, the talk turned to the state of the fortress (ha!) and her new mayoral accommodations, which will be ready as soon as all the bodies are removed.


Taking a short but well-earned break from my duties, I spent a few hours earlier taking stock of the local artwork.  Here are a few of the finer examples.

This beast is pictured all over the fort, for some reason.  Whatever this creature did to the world really impressed us.

Celebrations of Sigun are also common.
Such items may be the only thing keeping her from snapping, come to think on it.

Most of the engravings and statues around are of mundane events and political seals, and some represent unpleasant things from our past.  Usually I see such images as a reminder of dwarven integrity, but if you ask me, that stuff has no business being in the hospital.




As our comrades died of thirst they got to gaze upon gorgeous statues of dwarves dying of thirst.

The floor engravings are hardly better.



I've kept the couple engravers we have from drawing pictures just yet.  I mean, we're trying to forget recent events, not commemorate them.


Speaking of the hospital, Babysaver Oddom informed me that the place was once a series of upper-class homes for the local gentry.  That certainly explains the opulence.  And here I was thinking we cared about our wounded, how silly of me.


In contrast, the former hospital is a blighted, ash-filled mess, destroyed during the rampage of Uker Filthspit just a few months ago.   I've turned it into a furniture stockpile.


On my way back from visiting the few wounded who yet lived, I watched one of the psychotic locals walk past me, vomit neatly into a bucket, and walk away without offering so much as a look.

8th Felsite


Matuin's been missing for a week now.  I hope she's okay.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

12th Felsite


We initiated the plan to free the two trapped miners from the Arena.  The first step involves going back inside the place, and no one volunteered for that, so I gently persuaded two children and the idiot bookkeeper.  This way, if something goes wrong we won't lose anyone useful.


The device is ready.  Here goes nothing.


The dust cloud was immense.  But did it work?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

17th Felsite


One of the lookouts spotted the elven caravan on the horizon.  We desperately need their supplies, so for the first time in months, we unlocked the entrance.

While I was visiting her in the absurdly lavish hospital, Kol the Swordsmistress told me in confidence that Kubuk's parents were eaten by elves before his very eyes, back when he was a child.  Kol warned me not to let him near the traders during this time of strife.  I took heed and told him to perform some basic training maneuvers for the duration of their stay.


The elves were first greeted by Erib Tomecatch, a mad woodcrafter who ran outside the moment we lowered the gate.  After shouting obscenities at our visitors, he screamed away from the fortress in what must be hailed as an act of profound sensibility.  I don't expect any grief about locking him out there.  As soon as the merchants were in, it was done.


The local unlife showed no interest in either the elves or our momentarily-open gate.  It may only be my imagination, but I think they are instinctively scared of us.


The elves entered into an eerily quiet hall in a fortress once teeming with business.  They prove to be a shockingly decent bunch when we finally meet them, though for some reason they felt obliged to point out how badly we needed their help.  As if I didn't know already, but at least they didn't see the Room of Mephitis or they would have run for the hills like old Erib did.


The Room of Mephitis

Their leader Aweme is a delightful lass with the fairest blonde hair I'd ever seen.  If she weren't an elf, I would gladly take her to dinner and bed.  She told me a flowery tale of a battle her kind fought with goblins over four hundred years ago.  It was really quite fascinating.  After an hour or so of such pleasantries, I managed to trade off some of our extra mechanisms for a respectable quantity of food, booze, and wood.  This has been a fine day for Dwarf-Elf relations.


NO KUBUK DON'T


Well, dinner's now out of the question.


As the children and I looked on in horror, Kubuk stormed into the Trade Depot brandishing his axe and bisected every last elf in sight, providing our Trade Depot with a muddy red coat of fresh paint.  By an amazing stroke of luck, this appears to have been a momentary lapse of reason in lieu of a permanent one.  He trudged off silently after it was all over, and once the initial shock wore off, I told the Peasant nearby to take the elf bits outside and start butchering the warthogs.  Everything else in the caravan is ours now.  As if we had a use for a dozen wooden swords.

Oh, good, the mayor's approaching.  Pray thee, lass, what new horrors await my ears?



She's dead?!  I just spoke to her a few days ago!  She only went in there for a fractured rib!  All Meng had to do was bring her some water and the Slayer of Uker would still be alive!  The fact that she was beautiful has everything to do with my outrage!

It's not like we don't have any damn water!



What in the nineteen hells is more important to him than taking care of his patients!?



You son of a bitch.

25th Felsite

No one has seen Matuin the entire month.  I'm heading to the stock room to drop off a shield, so while I'm there I think I'll grab a pick and go down to the new wing she's been digging to find out if she's still alive.


This seems like a good time to mention that I've been completely naked since the beginning of the week.  Well, not completely naked, mind you.  I need the boot so my foot won't fall off!   Ha-hee-hee-hee-haw!

Anyways the boot fell off, so I dug most nudely toward Matuin's last known whereabouts.


At least, I did for a while.


Digging is hard!  I told the ex-soldier Fikod Boatscarnage to finish for me.  He was just hauling trash around anyway.


I won't even comment on the poetic genius of his title.  He went down with the pick in my stead, giving me a reproachful look as he left.  What?  I'm not the only one trying life without clothes.  At least I can still speak proper Dwarvish, unlike some of the other specimens.

In the past month many of the insane dwarves and half of the wounded have died.  Three infants perished as well, all of 'em from of lack of drink.  I dunno why nobody fed them.  I guess we each thought someone else was doing it.  There are only thirty-four of us left now.  On the bright side of it, a delicious cat has become a stray.


To end the month on a happy note for a change, Fikod discovered Matuin was hunting rats for food, half-starved to death, but alive all the same.  Turns out she mined away the original entryway, and by the time she realized her mistake she was too weak from hunger to lift her pick and carve a new way out.  Right.  Whatever her reasoning, I think we're all glad she is safe.



Poor lass has gone off to get a drink now.  With her disappearance off my mind, I can rest easier and concentrate on preparing the new area for habitation.  Things are looking up now.


Our doctor sickens me.


















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Pisano

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape. [turns open!]
« Reply #478 on: July 19, 2010, 07:37:03 pm »

žddor Kizbizos Idashuzar, "žddor Deerlies the Moist Grotto"

žddor Deerlies the Moist Grotto was a savanna titan.  It was the only one of its kind.  A towering blob composed of salt.  It has three long, straight tails and it has a bloated body.  žddor was associated with treachery, rivers, plants, nature and animals.

In a time before time, žddor began wandering The Plains of Ooze
---
So it seems that this savanna titan that the dwarves of Battlefailed are so fond of is was made of salt and roamed the Plains of Ooze.  Maybe such a titan was able to absorb the foul beasts made of shit, grime, and muck, several of which have been plaguing Battlefailed. Or maybe not.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Robocorn

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape. [turns open!]
« Reply #479 on: July 19, 2010, 07:49:30 pm »

I think a lot of the engravers we had were history buffs as opposed to creative types. So instead of getting pictures of hugging cows or two unicorns, we got pictures of Őddor Deerlies the Moist Grotto traveling because it was the only event that occurred in the region before we got here.

Of course, this means that there are dozens of engravings that look like this
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