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Poll

What should Zathel do on his turn?

Hook up FAILCANNON to magma sea (powered by a huge dwarven reactor).
- 11 (28.2%)
Build a castle over the fortress entrance.
- 11 (28.2%)
Flush all the grime from Battlefailed with carefully arranged sewage system.
- 7 (17.9%)
Construct opulent quarters for every dwarf in Battlefailed.
- 3 (7.7%)
Get rid of every Forgotten Beast using huge cave-in traps
- 7 (17.9%)

Total Members Voted: 39

Voting closed: July 31, 2010, 02:35:48 pm


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Author Topic: Battlefailed (Succession) Legendary Clusterf**k, free for all reclaim  (Read 598913 times)

Andreus

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #720 on: August 09, 2010, 11:08:29 am »

25th Felsite, 514



Well we all know what this means.





I swear, if it weren't for the fact that every time they see them they hack them to bits, I'd swear that the goblins were in league with the elves.

Our militia can't possibly repel firepower of this magnitude so there's only one thing for it - the FAILCANNON must be deployed. Due to unfinished maintenance work a former overseer attempted to perform on it, it cannot be deployed automatically. There's only one thing for it.





The deployment shaft begins to fill with the Blueness of Malodor's befouled waters and I prepare to commit to memory the faces of the goblins as they are inundated under a tide of... wait, what?



Goddamnit! They've just moved to the beach, where FAILCANNON can't reach them - wait, what?!





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Haspen

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #721 on: August 09, 2010, 11:13:26 am »

It's named FAILCANNON and you suspected it will work?

Honestly.
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NightmareBros

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #722 on: August 09, 2010, 11:14:02 am »

Oh Armok. The FAILCANNON is aptly named, it seems.

Also I just got ninja'd.
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Zathel

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #723 on: August 09, 2010, 12:06:00 pm »

Thank Armok it wasn't magma.

I can't wait till someone finally hooks up FAILCANNON to magma, just so it turns out the plumbing for the pump stack is leaky and hot searing death spills over Battlefailed. Couple that with accidental deconstruction of main power valve lever so the magma won't stop flowing.
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NightmareBros

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #724 on: August 09, 2010, 12:17:50 pm »

Well, at least we know the problem is easily fixed. You just need to remove that floor hatch, or find out where it leads and wall it off so it doesn't drown half of battlefailed the next time. Also, to the Elves died again - you would really, really think that they would learn about the goblin by now. Or at least be a tad suspicious.
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #725 on: August 09, 2010, 01:10:13 pm »

Thank Armok it wasn't magma.

I can't wait till someone finally hooks up FAILCANNON to magma, just so it turns out the plumbing for the pump stack is leaky and hot searing death spills over Battlefailed. Couple that with accidental deconstruction of main power valve lever so the magma won't stop flowing.

I'll do it!
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
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YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
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Andreus

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #726 on: August 09, 2010, 01:22:43 pm »

3rd Hematite, 514



The end result of FAILCANNON's deployment are two extremely damp elks, drenched hoof-to-horn in the foul water of the Blueness.



On a slightly more positive note, the Eternal Machine is in and of itself well on its way to completion, but a curious issue strikes me. I cannot work out through which combination of its control levers it will correctly activate. I must consult the schematics further, and see if I can divine the correct method by which it should be initialised.
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Oglokoog

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #727 on: August 09, 2010, 02:47:16 pm »

My eyes! It's all so... bright and... just no.
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So we got monsters above, monsters below, dwarves in the middle and a party in the dining hall. Sounds good to me.
If all else fails, remember one thing:  kittens are delicious, nutritious little goblin-baiters, cavern explorers, and ambush-finders.

Battlecat

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #728 on: August 09, 2010, 04:31:30 pm »

This is a great fortress, I've really enjoyed reading it.

I didn't see if you solved the problem of the floating dwarves in your arena.  Thought you might like to know, I had an eternally suspended dwarf in my fortress and I managed to get him unstuck using Runesmith.  I built a stable surface for him to stand on and then found him in Runesmith.  A suspended dwarf is flagged as being a projectile, so all I had to do is find him in the list and then uncheck the projectile Flag under the flags tab in Runesmith.  Once I unpaused my game, he started walking on the surface I built and went right back to work like nothing happened. 

Hope this helps!

Urist Imiknorris

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #729 on: August 09, 2010, 04:36:49 pm »

Leave them. They're a feature.
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

Zathel

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #730 on: August 09, 2010, 04:52:09 pm »

Leave them. They're a feature.

And when Battlefailed will be close to finally succumbing to one threat or another, they will wake from their sleep and deliver the fury of Armok upon the enemies of dwarfkind! (Even if stuck moody dwarf prevents us from ever creating another artifact).

Also, I am pretty sure the reactor will work fine. Only thing it needs is water. The basic power station (pump+2 wheels) is something I've taken from magmawiki, so there should be no flaw there. Only problem I can envision is the gear labeled "main power gear" collapsing upon deactivation when reactor finally starts running.
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Andreus

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #731 on: August 09, 2010, 04:55:21 pm »

Leave them. They're a feature.

Listen, can we work on a compromise? Can we unfuck the one with the strange mood, and leave the other guy there?
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NightmareBros

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #732 on: August 09, 2010, 05:03:06 pm »

Compromise sold!
No refunds
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #733 on: August 09, 2010, 05:51:01 pm »

Agreed, but have a cave-in trap ready when you thaw him out. He may insta-berserk.
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

Twobeard

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #734 on: August 09, 2010, 07:59:43 pm »

I love you guys. Seriously
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A leg of ham, a jug of beer and thou besides me, whistling in the darkness.
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