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Poll

What should Zathel do on his turn?

Hook up FAILCANNON to magma sea (powered by a huge dwarven reactor).
- 11 (28.2%)
Build a castle over the fortress entrance.
- 11 (28.2%)
Flush all the grime from Battlefailed with carefully arranged sewage system.
- 7 (17.9%)
Construct opulent quarters for every dwarf in Battlefailed.
- 3 (7.7%)
Get rid of every Forgotten Beast using huge cave-in traps
- 7 (17.9%)

Total Members Voted: 39

Voting closed: July 31, 2010, 02:35:48 pm


Pages: 1 ... 48 49 [50] 51 52 ... 60

Author Topic: Battlefailed (Succession) Legendary Clusterf**k, free for all reclaim  (Read 278345 times)

Andreus

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #735 on: August 10, 2010, 06:02:28 am »

24th Galena, 514

I looked outside today and it seems the goblins have vanished. I imagine the somewhat impregnable nature of the front gates combined with the fact that we can (admittedly very inefficiently) dump several metric tons of befouled seawater on their heads if they try to assault them must have rather eroded their conviction.

In other news, I have begun work on the final solution to the goblin problem - an undertaking which will undoubtedly take years, and I am unlikely in the extreme to be able to sustain leadership of this place for that long save some public relations miracle of cosmic proportions with the other denizens of this fortress. However, I shall start, and if the dwarves of this place desire a future, they shall complete its construction long after I have moved on.

Ladies and gentledwarves, I present to you: FAILCANNON PRIME.

I have used knowledge not of this world to aid in its construction. In a previous incarnation, I was permanent administrator at Laboredholy, one of dwarvenkind's most well-kept secret successes. For more than thirty years she stood before I died and passed from that world into another, and never have I been in a more successful fortress. Initially our forges were placed just above the great magma sea, but this became an arduous journey indeed, down more than a hundred flights of stairs through three separate cave levels. Part of the secret of its later successes was the magma plumbing which we used to funnel magma from the great magma sea far beneath the mountain into the forges only two flights of stairs beneath the main concourse in the highest level of the cave system. This kept the caves warm and allowed a new set of forges just below the rest of the fortress. To enable this we created a truly immense pump stack, a marvel of interdependent engineering that allowed us to raise the magma to the level we required it. It took five years to build, and suffered several setbacks - everything from attacks from forgotten beasts to an exhausted supply of iron.

I have dredged the memories out of the fog of ages with several arcane invocations and have reproduced as much as I can of the original design. At that point in my manylife, before I had discovered the secret of the Eternal Engine, the device had to be powered off a wind farm on the surface, which was an inelegant and inefficient method of obtaining the neccessary motive force to keep the stack running. The axle and the turbines were also vulnerable to attack - a besieging army could have wrecked the turbines or the axle and disabled the stack (although we never suffered from such an ailment, as the kingdom in which we lived was an island nation, quite secure from any goblins). It never occured to me at the time to use such a stack to create a weapon - the only attacks we suffered from were forgotten beasts and the occasional giant cave spider, which were too irregular, erratic and unpredictably placed to effectively deploy magma against.

The stack will be the equivalent height of roughly one hundred and three flights of stairs, and will in places cut through empty space in the caverns around which stone containment walls will need to be built. However, the masterstroke in the modified plans which I have drawn up is that when it is operational we shall be able to power FAILCANNON PRIME's stack off of the Eternal Engine, meaning that the device is self-contained and need not present any vulnerable parts to the world above - only the business end of its magma pump, which shall rain down fire and brimstone upon the heads of all who oppose us.

For this undertaking we shall need 110 stone or iron blocks, 110 iron pipe sections, 110 iron corkscrews, 110 iron doors. At the very least we shall need 330 units of hematite, limonite or magnetite and 110 stones of a magma-safe material. I remember from my second incarnation within this stinking pit of hell that I crafted a sanctum for myself within a deposit of magnetite, but I believe that it's currently flooded with water or otherwise inaccessible.
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #736 on: August 10, 2010, 07:41:20 am »

Why not use green glass?
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

NightmareBros

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #737 on: August 10, 2010, 07:46:56 am »

Quote
FAILCANNON PRIME
AUTODORFS, rollout?
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Andreus

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #738 on: August 10, 2010, 08:16:21 am »

I prefer iron, because it won't melt if there's a magma accident that submerges the pump.

12th Limestone, 514

My journeys between realities, through the many levels of the hereafter and across the endless void that separates them and everything inbetween, though harrowing and tiring to my eternal soul, have not been without fruit. I have seen wonders and terrors beyond the wildest imaginings of lesser minds - and I've learnt knowledge that no mortal could hope to. And so it is that I try a grand experiment - through the use of Void Sorcery, I shall attempt a grand invocation to attempt to free the two souls trapped in spiritual stasis inside the cursed arena.



???????????????????????????????



It worked... partially. Only Dante was freed from his eternal prison, but at least I have wrenched one soul from the void. Now he's... whispering to himself and running off?



Oh. Oh.



Out of interest, I notice that due to being locked in time for several years, he's the only member of the fortress still wearing clothes by choice.

25th Limestone, 514



« Last Edit: August 10, 2010, 08:53:59 am by Andreus »
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #739 on: August 10, 2010, 09:19:33 am »

Green glass pumps are magma safe. It's a bug wherein glass objects aren't magma safe, but they become magma safe when you build them.

Also: Asshole miner stole too much of our precious lumber.
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

Andreus

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #740 on: August 10, 2010, 09:23:07 am »

Also: Asshole miner stole too much of our precious lumber.

Pshaw, you obviously don't know about the steady supply of it from the muddy obsidian farm.
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #741 on: August 10, 2010, 10:07:54 am »

It's still precious.
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

Andreus

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #742 on: August 10, 2010, 10:34:46 am »

2nd Sandstone, 514





Well, it is a VERY nice hatch cover, but I'm not entirely sure what use we'll find for it.

The aquifer in Upper Battlefailed has somehow burst open and is flooding the old farming area, so I've ordered one of the vertical accessways into the upper area of the fort to be paved over before the water reaches it. This shaft seems, as far as I can tell, to reach all the way down to the third cavern, breaching a solid pillar of rock in the second cavern to descend safely through the slime ocean, coming out near the obsidian flats the old lava pump used to produce (I am henceforth calling that my "proof of concept"). I have no idea what the purpose of this shaft is, but if it isn't sealed, the whole place will, quite inevitably, drown until the water reaches the level of the aquifer. I've unforbidden everything in the affected areas of Upper Battlefailed that it's safe to recover, and ordered the shaft sealed while we still can.

16th Timber, 514



Finally! We've been waiting for this chance to show the Mountainhomes there's still life in Battlefailed for-



Wait, what?!



You've got to be joking.
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Andreus

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #743 on: August 10, 2010, 10:42:27 am »

Oh, incidentally, I've got an idea that I'd like to ask a few of you about. Would it be possible to make some form of reaction that allows a single unit of wood to be split into several "planks" which could then be used in the same manner as blocks, and if so, could you suggest one?
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Andreus

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #744 on: August 10, 2010, 12:54:37 pm »

I'm sorry people.

I have utterly terrible news.

Today is the day Battlefailed dies.











More to follow.
« Last Edit: August 10, 2010, 12:59:01 pm by Andreus »
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cappstv

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #745 on: August 10, 2010, 12:57:21 pm »

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
IT SHALL NOT FALL!!!!!!!!!!
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The French were adept of the "Losing is Fun" philosophy long before Dwarf Fortress.

Glacial

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #746 on: August 10, 2010, 01:03:06 pm »

Oh no!

I'm seeing some forgotten beast action in those screenshots. Did we get a new one, or did the diamond slug make it up top?
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #747 on: August 10, 2010, 01:16:21 pm »

Ooh, good eye. Was it the slug?
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

Andreus

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #748 on: August 10, 2010, 01:26:01 pm »



An entirely new one, actually. As I write this, Edzul Dodokducim, Child Menace just suffocated - it seems to go after the children by preference. Down to 7 dwarves - 2 miners (one of whom is Leesin, trapped in the Cursed Arena), 1 woodworker, 3 children and a recruit. If we get down to just Leesin, I'm going to remove his lost soul status, unmiserable him, buff him to Legendary in every combat skill and bring a decisive end to this invasion, one way or another.
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cappstv

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Re: Battlefailed (Succession) Coastal Zombie Hellscape.
« Reply #749 on: August 10, 2010, 01:28:05 pm »



An entirely new one, actually. As I write this, Edzul Dodokducim, Child Menace just suffocated - it seems to go after the children by preference. Down to 7 dwarves - 2 miners (one of whom is Leesin, trapped in the Cursed Arena), 1 woodworker, 3 children and a recruit. If we get down to just Leesin, I'm going to remove his lost soul status, unmiserable him, buff him to Legendary in every combat skill and bring a decisive end to this invasion, one way or another.
I want him to be the last one now.
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The French were adept of the "Losing is Fun" philosophy long before Dwarf Fortress.
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