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Author Topic: The EPIC Dwarven Drinking Song of Many Names  (Read 34757 times)

Arkenstone

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The EPIC Dwarven Drinking Song of Many Names
« on: May 14, 2010, 05:34:13 pm »


Image courtecy of Evergod41
Quote from: Evergod41
[This is a bronze mug, all craftdwarfship is of the highest quality, it is lined with strips of masterfully worked steel, it is encrusted with masterfully worked copper flakes, the handle is masterfully worked steel.]

Spoiler: Original OP (click to show/hide)
All the following are due to Retro, who is, by the way, a very good guitarist:
Download here!
Spoiler: Full Lyrics (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: September 27, 2010, 10:22:12 pm by Arkenstone »
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Quote from: Retro
Dwarven economics are still in the experimental stages. The humans have told them that they need to throw a lot of money around to get things going, but every time the dwarves try all they just end up with a bunch of coins lying all over the place.

The EPIC Dwarven Drinking Song of Many Names

Feel free to ask me any questions you have about logic/computing; I'm majoring in the topic.

dwarfguy2

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Re: An EPIC Dwarven Drinking Song: "Elves Stink"
« Reply #1 on: May 14, 2010, 05:39:04 pm »

o, the cloth-bringing pointy eared-scoundrels,
who bring only good stuff when ticked off,
will wage war over simple old tree-ees,
so make some !!elves!! and some !!cloth!!
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Caution: This user may or may not be a horrible evil Elder God from the deepest regions of space. He also may or may not be a lawyer.

Josiwe

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Re: An EPIC Dwarven Drinking Song: "Elves Stink"
« Reply #2 on: May 14, 2010, 06:19:13 pm »

In forests and hills of legend and lore
There once lived a clan of the elves we abhor
Their arrogant height and their pansy decor
Were merely the first of the crimes they'd pay for!

Now these elves had a problem, a terrible plight,
They didn't know ale and they had no fist-fights,
Their lives were pale shadows, their boredom a blight,
So they went to the dwarves to deliver their spite.

CHORUS:
For it's hey-di-lee hi, and ho-di-lee hok,
The dwarves strike the earth and make love to the rock!
Blood for the Blood God, Blood for Armok!
Hey-di-lee hi, and ho-di-lee hok.

Came the elves to the fortress, the mountain-home grand,
They indicted the baron; "You've clear cut this land!
You have chopped down our brethren, you short little man,
Of course this means war, now deliver, now stand!"

When the elves were all dead, the dwarves were confused,
Who were these strange fools, so quickly abused?
"More blood for the blood god," the Baron's wife mused,
And they went back beneath where the hot magma oozed.

For it's hey-di-lee hi, and ho-di-lee hok,
The dwarves strike the earth and make love to the rock!
Blood for the Blood God, Blood for Armok!
Hey-di-lee hi, and ho-di-lee hok.






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Retro

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Re: An EPIC Dwarven Drinking Song: "Elves Stink"
« Reply #3 on: May 14, 2010, 06:21:05 pm »

Second post and Josiwe won the thread.

I feel compelled to write music for that.

Imp

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Re: An EPIC Dwarven Drinking Song: "Elves Stink"
« Reply #4 on: May 14, 2010, 06:31:45 pm »

Second post and Josiwe won the thread.

I feel compelled to write music for that.


Ahhhhh, awesome is rarely far from these forums, and here it raises it's epic head again.  Lets have a hey-di-lee hi for Josiwe, and raise our mugs high!
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Josiwe

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Re: An EPIC Dwarven Drinking Song: "Elves Stink"
« Reply #5 on: May 14, 2010, 06:42:51 pm »

Thanks guys.

People seem to like my lyrics, maybe I should quit my job and find a musician to write with :)
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Retro

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Re: An EPIC Dwarven Drinking Song: "Elves Stink"
« Reply #6 on: May 14, 2010, 06:44:53 pm »

Set up a basic chord progression for anyone who wants to sing along to themselves! If I get really bored tonight I might do a recording. Sounded a bit like The Times They Are A Changin' to me so I went with something like that.

Code: [Select]
A         A       A      A

VERSE:
   A           A        D          A
In forests and hills of legend and lore
      A            A           E          E
There once lived a clan of the elves we abhor
      A        A                D       A
Their arrogant height and their pansy decor
     A          A            E                 A
Were merely the first of the crimes they'd pay for!
          A           A          D        A
Now these elves had a problem, a terrible plight,
     A           A            E           E
They didn't know ale and they had no fist-fights,
      A               A              D         A
Their lives were pale shadows, their boredom a blight,
        A           A            E           E          E           E
So they went to the dwarves to deliver their spite.


CHORUS:
         A          D       E         A
For it's hey-di-lee hi, and ho-di-lee hok,
    A                  A              E           E
The dwarves strike the earth and make love to the rock!
F#m           D          E           A
Oh, Blood for the Blood God, more blood for Armok!
A          D       E         A          A       A        A
Hey-di-lee hi, and ho-di-lee hok.

Repeat for second verse and chorus, etc. While playing along the only parts that sound awkward are the gaps before both 'blood's in the chorus so I added a 'oh' and 'more.' Mind if I try adding a verse or two, Josiwe? This sounds like the sort of thing that would be a long, many-versed drunken epic :P

Josiwe

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Re: An EPIC Dwarven Drinking Song: "Elves Stink"
« Reply #7 on: May 14, 2010, 06:47:42 pm »

Go for it! The OP suggested adding fragments so I left it open. There's much more hatred for the elves to earn :)
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Josiwe

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Re: An EPIC Dwarven Drinking Song: "Elves Stink"
« Reply #8 on: May 14, 2010, 06:49:56 pm »

The one thing I'll say is that if you actually sing it / youtube it, there should be a pause of 2 or 4 bars between verses; mainly for the appropriate comic timing between the end of verse 3 and the beginning of verse 4.
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Retro

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Re: An EPIC Dwarven Drinking Song: "Elves Stink"
« Reply #9 on: May 14, 2010, 07:30:25 pm »

Aye, cap'n.

A third verse!

Well the dwarves kept on choppin’ that forest to stumps
And the elves’ fighting spirits were down in the dumps
They sieged once again, but were met by the pumps
While the elves’ fat was melting, the dwarves got more plump!

Back in the forest, at the elven retreat
The elves were quite puzzled by this sound defeat
“Perhaps,” said the druid, “we shouldn’t compete,
“If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em, now pass me the meat!

For it's hey-di-lee hi, and ho-di-lee hok,
The dwarves strike the earth and make love to the rock!
Oh, Blood for the Blood God, more blood for Armok!
Hey-di-lee hi, and ho-di-lee hok.

Karnewarrior

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Re: An EPIC Dwarven Drinking Song: "Elves Stink"
« Reply #10 on: May 14, 2010, 09:31:45 pm »

*Dwarf A passes out. He is brutally shoved offstage by Dwarf E, who takes his place*
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Josiwe

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Re: An EPIC Dwarven Drinking Song: "Elves Stink"
« Reply #11 on: May 14, 2010, 10:33:27 pm »

In the Smooth Points of Pride, a new fortress was found,
With incredible wealth in the depths of the ground,
And the elves came to trade though they scowled and they frowned,
For the trinkets of this place were scepters and crowns.

A talc ring for berries, a goblet for cloth,
It seemed that the riches were sweet heady broth,
So the elves kept on coming, despite their great wroth,
Till the day it all ended in red bloody froth.

For it's hey-di-lee hi, and ho-di-lee hok,
The dwarves strike the earth and make love to the rock!
Oh, Blood for the Blood God, more blood for Armok!
Hey-di-lee hi, and ho-di-lee hok.

Spoken over bridge:
And it happened that on one day an elven noble name Lema Ceraliceyi came to this puckered sphincter of a fortress, and she looked upon the wasted jungle where the dwarves had taken the wood they so desperately needed for beds, bins, and boxes, and she was taken with a mighty rage. In her hubris she descended upon the leader of the fortress and said unto him, "You have disrespected the trees in this area, but this is what we have come to expect from your stunted kind. Further abuse cannot be tolerated. Let this be a warning to you."

And this so enraged the mayor of that cursed fortress that a gleam came into his eye, and he swept her a bow and shed a tear, and whispered promises to her of a new respect for nature, if only she and her gleaming brethren would return again, to trade and teach them the ways of leaf and branch. And Lema Ceraliceyi was gratified and decieved, and left in foolish confidence that her sick arboreal fetish would be welcomed here when she returned. But such was not to be...

(slowly)
In the following year, they brought wagons so full,
Full of berries and barrels and silk cloth and wool,
And the elves tried to trade with the elephant herders,
Who slaughtered them slowly while screaming BOATMURDERED!

For it's hey-di-lee hi, and ho-di-lee hok,
The dwarves strike the earth and make love to the rock!
Oh, Blood for the Blood God, more blood for Armok!
Hey-di-lee hi, and ho-di-lee hok.

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Lonewolf I

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Re: An EPIC Dwarven Drinking Song: "Elves Stink"
« Reply #12 on: May 15, 2010, 02:06:50 am »

P.S.  Cacame's off-limits.

EDIT: Just noticed this.  Darn.  I guess my verse can be stricken from the competition.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: May 15, 2010, 02:22:39 am by Lonewolf I »
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Acanthus117

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Re: An EPIC Dwarven Drinking Song: "Elves Stink"
« Reply #13 on: May 15, 2010, 02:11:13 am »

Holy balls. If someone finishes this and puts a Youtube video, I will be HAPPEH DORF
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Retro

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Re: An EPIC Dwarven Drinking Song: "Elves Stink"
« Reply #14 on: May 15, 2010, 02:39:59 am »

Holy balls. If someone finishes this and puts a Youtube video, I will be HAPPEH DORF

I probably won't do a video but tomorrow when I'm not at risk of waking up my housemates I'll probably record it and post an mp3 :P
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