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Author Topic: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Trust-o-nomics Edition  (Read 2002060 times)

BlackFlyme

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Re: Things that made you RRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Reflex Edition
« Reply #33615 on: March 18, 2014, 05:15:56 pm »

OK, BF, if you have kids, don't be to them what your parents are to you.

You can break the cycle!
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What the hell happened to that bike?

Anyways, between my mom and her boyfriend, I hopefully know what not to do when I ever have kids. Between the two of them you have both the hyper over-protective archetype and the 'fuck you, you're on your own from birth' archetype.
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LeoLeonardoIII

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Re: Things that made you RRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Reflex Edition
« Reply #33616 on: March 18, 2014, 05:21:51 pm »

You can save space by making the room 1x1x2 and tiling diagonally.
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EnigmaticHat

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Re: Things that made you RRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Reflex Edition
« Reply #33617 on: March 18, 2014, 05:30:43 pm »

Anyways, between my mom and her boyfriend, I hopefully know what not to do when I ever have kids. Between the two of them you have both the hyper over-protective archetype and the 'fuck you, you're on your own from birth' archetype.

Am I the only one who feels like this sort of sums up the parenting of baby boomers?  Except its "hyper-paranoid because pedophiles, then fuck you you're on you own once you graduate".

The whole mentality is that college is this switch that flips parenting from "kids must be protected and watched over always" to "I must have as little as possible to do with my kid's life."

Don't get me wrong I like my parents, I'm just not sure I like their generation.  Maybe that's better than the other ways of parenting, or maybe parenting in America has always been like that.  I don't know, I only have my limited perspective and its a big issue.
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Th4DwArfY1

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Re: Things that made you RRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Reflex Edition
« Reply #33618 on: March 18, 2014, 05:44:13 pm »

Over here, parents are involved past graduation. My sister has gradated, bu she still lives here and is treated as always.
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LeoLeonardoIII

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Re: Things that made you RRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Reflex Edition
« Reply #33619 on: March 18, 2014, 05:47:33 pm »

I think there's a couple different approaches right now. One says let the kid live at home while he goes to college or even just because he's unemployed (or unemployable). This may have limits, like "you need to be in college" or "you need to prove you're sending good resumes to legitimate job opportunities".

Another says the kid needs to move out as soon as he's 18 because he's an adult now. This may have wiggle room, like "you can stay home but you need to pay rent" or "stay until you're 19 or 20 but there's going to come a day when you will be kicked out."

I've also seen an approach where the parent supplies financial support in exchange for fealty and forgiveness for being a shitty parent when the kid was growing up. It's a strange kind of clannish cronyism.

In the stereotypically American culture it's uncommon for extended families to live together, although this provides a lot of security and support. Frequently families drift far apart geographically. I've seen family members fling themselves to some other state without preparation, leaving steady jobs and good housing, only to return months later after having absolutely failed in the new region.

That said, recent immigrants and immigrants who have maintained their cultural distinctiveness despite living in the middle of more typical American living styles, will band together with perhaps a dozen or more people in a dwelling that's legally habitable for no more than six. In my state, the terms of a lease generally state that anyone living there must be on the lease. So you have a couple with one or two children rent a three-bedroom apartment, and then later you find out they invited the aunt and uncle, three cousins, a felon who just got out of jail, and five or six miscellaneous children. This is not an exaggeration at all. One family had a sectional couch in their living room that ran along all the walls of the living room, walling in the sliding glass door, because that many people would regularly need to sit in the room at once.

In my imagination there's a mythical Italian or French family with a beautiful stucco house and a garden, and four generations of the family eat dinners together on a sun-drenched patio with vine-laden trellises shading them. The adults all work, the grandparents relax and mind the children, and because they share burdens and joys they're relatively wealthy and happy.

In America many people labor away at two jobs, alone, or a couple with several kids, until they die of poverty at 60.
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BlackFlyme

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Re: Things that made you RRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Reflex Edition
« Reply #33620 on: March 18, 2014, 05:48:19 pm »

My mom still demands that she proof-read all my assignments before she allows me to submit them.

At least it's better than back in grade-school, where she did all my assignments for me. I would try to do them myself, but they were never up to her standards, so she would throw them out, do the assignment herself, then gloat about how much hers was better.

I think it was around grade five when I just gave up on doing assignments myself.
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LeoLeonardoIII

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Re: Things that made you RRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Reflex Edition
« Reply #33621 on: March 18, 2014, 05:49:05 pm »

That's a sure way to let someone work and improve.  ::)
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Gunner-Chan

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Re: Things that made you RRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Reflex Edition
« Reply #33622 on: March 18, 2014, 05:53:40 pm »

I actually had the reverse happen once. I was finishing up mylast semester at college and at one point, my daughter redid some of my work she found on my zip drive. Since she said it was crappy.

I got a perfect grade on that one but... I'm pretty sure my own work wasn't THAT bad.
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SealyStar

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Re: Things that made you RRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Reflex Edition
« Reply #33623 on: March 18, 2014, 06:35:25 pm »

I actively refuse to let my parents proof-read stuff. I let and ask various people, both peers and seniors, to do so, but not my parents. Various reasons. One, my father is an English major who used to teach an introductory college writing course, so while his criticism might be valuable it would be, well, too critical for comfort, and I tend to do well in writing even without his help. Two, my mother is an engineer who is definitely very mathematical, and isn't very good at this whole writing thing herself.
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Th4DwArfY1

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Re: Things that made you RRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Reflex Edition
« Reply #33624 on: March 18, 2014, 06:39:51 pm »

Both my parents are very good writers. I don't let them near my writing. I think I mentioned here that I dabbled in poetry? My mother is very good at it. Had one of hers posted in the newspaper when she was 12. So I understand not wanting to let them look through it. Every time mum sees mine, I get torn apart- thankfully, my gullible father is always impressed  :P

As for school work, I don't need it. No point letting someone do your work. Do it, if you fail you fix, do it again. No shortcut, unfortunately.
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nenjin

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Re: Things that made you RRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Reflex Edition
« Reply #33625 on: March 18, 2014, 06:43:41 pm »

I dunno, I'd fight for your right to fail on your own BF. And I'd put it in exactly those terms to them. Throughout life, one thing that has always served me well is being prepared to take responsibility for my own failures. School is the perfect time to do that. If your mother puts up a fight, just tell her "Look, if I only made it through school with good grades because of your help, how do you think I'm going to fare out on my own?"
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GiglameshDespair

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Re: Things that made you RRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Reflex Edition
« Reply #33626 on: March 18, 2014, 06:44:46 pm »

I dunno, I'd fight for your right to fail on your own BF. And I'd put it in exactly those terms to them. Throughout life, one thing that has always served me well is being prepared to take responsibility for my own failures. School is the perfect time to do that. If your mother puts up a fight, just tell her "Look, if I only made it through school with good grades because of your help, how do you think I'm going to fare out on my own?"

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BlackFlyme

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Re: Things that made you RRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Reflex Edition
« Reply #33627 on: March 18, 2014, 06:53:58 pm »

If I was actually able to argue, I would. But my mom seems to believe that she owns me, and has said that everything I do is a reflection of her, and that everything I will ever own or accomplish is actually hers.

I'm sure as hell never going to be able to do well on my own. She's never made much of any attempt to teach me anything, other than how to do the dishes and how to turn the washer and dryer on. I can't even cook, and my social skills are very poor.

I don't understand her, honestly. I get the feeling she's trying to mold me into the person she wants to be and failing at it. Either that or to make me dependent on her so that she'll always have someone around.
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nenjin

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Re: Things that made you RRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Reflex Edition
« Reply #33628 on: March 18, 2014, 06:55:56 pm »

Well, there comes a time in every kid's life when they have to make the choice: yield or stand firm regardless of the consequences. Many kids do it over stupid, trivial reasons like dating, being a delinquent or others. At least you'd be doing it for the right to be your own person and do your own work.
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LeoLeonardoIII

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Re: Things that made you RRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Reflex Edition
« Reply #33629 on: March 18, 2014, 06:58:26 pm »

Show up at her job secretly, do her work badly, use her PC to send hilarious emails.
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