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Author Topic: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Trust-o-nomics Edition  (Read 3382849 times)

IronTomato

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Trust-o-nomics Edition
« Reply #50130 on: February 08, 2015, 03:03:19 pm »

I'm sick and tired of my mother's suspicions and all of her bullshit, acting like I'm not allowed to use the Internet or do anything else unless she knows exactly who the fuck I'm talking to and what I'm doing, like I'm 16 years old and she still needs to be overprotective and not let me do anything or talk to anyone. She's already ruined my life by teaching me that everyone at my school would be like my brother so that I would grow up being afraid of them, while she wasn't doing anything about the kids who actually were like my brother and enjoyed tormenting me like he does. I also have never dated anyone or gone to any parties because she grew up teaching me that all young relationships were about sex and that I should be afraid of that, and acting like all anyone did at parties would be get drunk and take drugs and that I should never go to them either.

I try to confront her about any of this and she acts like I have been mean to her for my entire life simply because I inform her of the damage she has done as well as her inability to be an actual fucking parent like she's supposed to. I just can't wait until she inevitably finds out about how much I want to die, and then accuses me of exaggerating and then acts like I have no reason to possibly want that. Then maybe, if I'm ever so lucky, she'll use that as an excuse to ruin my life even further and obsess over keeping me safe and not allowing me to be a part of the world, just like she always has.

I'm absolutely tired of this shit. People act like this will stop and I have no reason to believe that it won't, because "OH YOU'RE YOUNG DON'T WORRY" is any sort of a valid excuse. I cannot change the kind of bitch my mother is, I cannot fix the damage she has done to whoever I could have been, I cannot fix the trauma that my brother has caused me, courtesy of her, and I cannot change the inevitability of it continuing to happen in the future. Fuck all of it.
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nenjin

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Trust-o-nomics Edition
« Reply #50131 on: February 08, 2015, 03:39:27 pm »

Quote
I'm absolutely tired of this shit. People act like this will stop and I have no reason to believe that it won't, because "OH YOU'RE YOUNG DON'T WORRY" is any sort of a valid excuse. I cannot change the kind of bitch my mother is, I cannot fix the damage she has done to whoever I could have been, I cannot fix the trauma that my brother has caused me, courtesy of her, and I cannot change the inevitability of it continuing to happen in the future. Fuck all of it.

Bullshit. You don't get my compassion for this statement.

People have had it way harder than you. Go read some of RedKing's posts, and realize that he came back from horrors you can't even dial.

Everyone has been traumatized by their parents, by school, by society, by life. Everyone. And they fall into roughly two groups. Those that give in and say "Poor me" their whole lives, and those who spit in the face of "Fate" and live to a standard they create for themselves.

We're all damaged goods, but we all have the mental and emotional strength to deal, and even thrive a little. If we're not too busy feeling sorry for ourselves.

You're going to grow up even more one day. You're going to move out. Your mother is going to stop being the center point of your misery. Then, the only thing truly making yourself miserable will be YOU, citing "I cannot fix the damage she has done to whoever I could have been, I cannot fix the trauma that my brother has caused me" in an empty house like a sad sack.

Defy your weakness. And don't ever fucking talk about killing yourself. One of my oldest and sweetest friends, who became a total fuck up in his adult life, eventually gave up on himself. He walked miles outside of town to a cornfield somewhere, wrapped his mouth around his dad's shotgun and blew his brains out. That's the end of the path of not believing in your own future, in your ability to own your future.

And yes, you ARE young, right down to the arrogance of the young that no one understands the depth of your pain or the hopelessness of your situation. You're the angstiest you're ever going to be in your life, right now. It DOES get better. You do find freedom, if you're strong enough to seek it. You can heal from the injuries life has dealt you, but it takes work and you have to want it. You can find peace and work on remolding the parts of yourself that someone else shaped.

So instead of feeling sorry for yourself and your overbearing mother, and your asshole brother, invest that energy in finding a way to take control of your life. Fuel your angst into getting a job, working long hours, building a bank roll, and fantasizing about the day you get to leave and say "Sorry, this isn't me anymore."
« Last Edit: February 08, 2015, 04:04:45 pm by nenjin »
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Cautivo del Milagro seamos, Penitente.
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When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
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Its kinda silly to complain that a friendly NPC isn't a well designed boss fight.
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TD1

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Trust-o-nomics Edition
« Reply #50132 on: February 08, 2015, 03:46:41 pm »

Much as I think it was a tad harshly worded, I have to agree with Nenjin.

Also, people change a lot in short spaces. By the time you're 18, you could have different views entirely. So yea, time is the great healer, and if you do knuckle down and do well in life it will be more than your brother will ever likely have the gumption to do.
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nenjin

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Trust-o-nomics Edition
« Reply #50133 on: February 08, 2015, 03:51:31 pm »

I don't have sympathy for people who say stuff about killing themselves. I just don't. Maybe if you're living in an ISIS prison camp, that statement has some redeeming value. Having watched average people literally throw their lives away in despair though, it infuriates me.
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Cautivo del Milagro seamos, Penitente.
Quote from: Viktor Frankl
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
Quote from: Sindain
Its kinda silly to complain that a friendly NPC isn't a well designed boss fight.
Quote from: Eric Blank
How will I cheese now assholes?
Quote from: MrRoboto75
Always spaghetti, never forghetti

sjm9876

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Trust-o-nomics Edition
« Reply #50134 on: February 08, 2015, 03:57:13 pm »

So instead of feeling sorry for yourself and your overbearing mother, and your asshole brother, invest that energy in finding a way to take control of your life. Fuel your angst into getting a job, working long hours, building a bank roll, and fantasizing about the day you get to leave and say "Sorry, this isn't me anymore."

IT, just think what it'll be like when you prove them wrong. You only have 2 more years before you're free, and the only thing stopping you from doing whatever the hell you want to is you.
Somewhere inside of you is a little bit of iron, a little core of stubbornness. Find it, and grab it. It might take a fair bit of digging, and you might have to dig up who you are and avenge it back up, but it's there in everyone.

You are not broken irreparably. In all likelihood, you aren't broken at all - the only thing that's holding you in is the belief that you are.

And a couple of links to think on:
Invictus
If-
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TD1

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Trust-o-nomics Edition
« Reply #50135 on: February 08, 2015, 04:04:31 pm »

My father just flew off the handle and started ranting about how I get "too damn involved in the computer" because something distracted me when he was finishing saying something inconsequential and I asked him to repeat what he said.

Yeah, Dad. Like that's never happened to you before. >:(

My dad says "Being on the computer will change how your brain works!"
I laugh every time, but he keeps saying it.
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nenjin

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Trust-o-nomics Edition
« Reply #50136 on: February 08, 2015, 04:06:28 pm »

My father just flew off the handle and started ranting about how I get "too damn involved in the computer" because something distracted me when he was finishing saying something inconsequential and I asked him to repeat what he said.

Yeah, Dad. Like that's never happened to you before. >:(

My dad says "Being on the computer will change how your brain works!"
I laugh every time, but he keeps saying it.

He's not wrong. The studies are there to show it and your brain has more elasticity in your youth than at any time in your life. My dad was saying the same thing to me about Nintendo in the 80s. He's just jealous he has no 360 noscope skills though.
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Cautivo del Milagro seamos, Penitente.
Quote from: Viktor Frankl
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
Quote from: Sindain
Its kinda silly to complain that a friendly NPC isn't a well designed boss fight.
Quote from: Eric Blank
How will I cheese now assholes?
Quote from: MrRoboto75
Always spaghetti, never forghetti

TD1

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Trust-o-nomics Edition
« Reply #50137 on: February 08, 2015, 04:10:13 pm »

So in what way does my computer change my mind?

It doesn't sound like something that should happen just by looking at a screen...?
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Bauglir

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Trust-o-nomics Edition
« Reply #50138 on: February 08, 2015, 04:12:22 pm »

It influences how you compartmentalize information, and Internet usage in particular tends to train you to remember how to find information as needed rather than to remember the information itself, IIRC. Obviously, the problem here is that your dad is presumably trying to say that it will change your mind for the worse, and that's a much harder sell.
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In the days when Sussman was a novice, Minsky once came to him as he sat hacking at the PDP-6.
“What are you doing?”, asked Minsky. “I am training a randomly wired neural net to play Tic-Tac-Toe” Sussman replied. “Why is the net wired randomly?”, asked Minsky. “I do not want it to have any preconceptions of how to play”, Sussman said.
Minsky then shut his eyes. “Why do you close your eyes?”, Sussman asked his teacher.
“So that the room will be empty.”
At that moment, Sussman was enlightened.

Frumple

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Trust-o-nomics Edition
« Reply #50139 on: February 08, 2015, 04:18:06 pm »

I don't have sympathy for people who say stuff about killing themselves. I just don't. Maybe if you're living in an ISIS prison camp, that statement has some redeeming value. Having watched average people literally throw their lives away in despair though, it infuriates me.
... then you should probably keep quiet on the subject if you're dealing with someone expressing such thoughts. That kind of attitude is a good way to make bad situations worse.
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nenjin

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Trust-o-nomics Edition
« Reply #50140 on: February 08, 2015, 04:23:50 pm »

There's also the pattern that develops for gamers where and how our reward center are activated. Compared to a lot of people, gamers basically have their reward centers wired up on a drip feed because of video games. We self-stimulate in ways that people just watching TV or a movie do not. On the other hand, we get less raw, visceral stimulation from real life if we're heavy gamers and eschew sports, going outside, ect...

It was the reward pathways my dad was most concerned about and as I grown up I can kinda see what he means. The obsessive way I tend to play games I enjoy before I hit a point of saturation. How I can sometimes get frustrated or bored with tasks that don't pan out or reward as quickly as I'd like. Even when you consider reading a book vs. a video game, there are big differences. Video games stimulate and enthrall all the senses, right from the outset and require less imagination that we'd like to admit (which is why I like games like DF because I think they engage an active component of imagination and creativity as you're processing what the game is telling you.)

This is really the first generation that has been completely wired up. My generation spent a lot of time in front of the TV with consoles. This generation basically has tech at hand everywhere, at every moment. Everyone is so concerned with Internet use and addiction when, frankly, I think the more interesting question is much broader.

I don't have sympathy for people who say stuff about killing themselves. I just don't. Maybe if you're living in an ISIS prison camp, that statement has some redeeming value. Having watched average people literally throw their lives away in despair though, it infuriates me.
... then you should probably keep quiet on the subject if you're dealing with someone expressing such thoughts. That kind of attitude is a good way to make bad situations worse.

Sometimes a slap is what people need more than platitudes. At least getting mad is a different emotional state than a mope.
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Cautivo del Milagro seamos, Penitente.
Quote from: Viktor Frankl
When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.
Quote from: Sindain
Its kinda silly to complain that a friendly NPC isn't a well designed boss fight.
Quote from: Eric Blank
How will I cheese now assholes?
Quote from: MrRoboto75
Always spaghetti, never forghetti

AlleeCat

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Trust-o-nomics Edition
« Reply #50141 on: February 08, 2015, 04:43:59 pm »

I don't have sympathy for people who say stuff about killing themselves. I just don't. Maybe if you're living in an ISIS prison camp, that statement has some redeeming value. Having watched average people literally throw their lives away in despair though, it infuriates me.
I... Nope! Not going to get into this again. I'm just going to say you're making me angry and leave it at that. Don't ever bring that up again, please.

Gunner-Chan

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Trust-o-nomics Edition
« Reply #50142 on: February 08, 2015, 04:47:55 pm »

You know what, normally I wouldn't say this. Because I usually keep this amount of anger based on what I read here to myself...

But if you're going to start this topic, and then start saying some peoples problems aren't good enough to vent here, and then throw that shit. Nenjin you're a piece of human garbage.
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Bauglir

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Trust-o-nomics Edition
« Reply #50143 on: February 08, 2015, 04:55:18 pm »

At the risk of incoming lock, I'm gonna have to kinda agree with Janet here. Piece of human garbage, perhaps not, but to make a thread like this and then shit on people for using it is a dick move of such incredible proportions that Ron Jeremy is envious.
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In the days when Sussman was a novice, Minsky once came to him as he sat hacking at the PDP-6.
“What are you doing?”, asked Minsky. “I am training a randomly wired neural net to play Tic-Tac-Toe” Sussman replied. “Why is the net wired randomly?”, asked Minsky. “I do not want it to have any preconceptions of how to play”, Sussman said.
Minsky then shut his eyes. “Why do you close your eyes?”, Sussman asked his teacher.
“So that the room will be empty.”
At that moment, Sussman was enlightened.

TD1

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Re: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Trust-o-nomics Edition
« Reply #50144 on: February 08, 2015, 05:17:16 pm »

I think team piling onto Nenjin really isn't the decent thing to be doing here.

At the end of the day, he's trying to help. Just in his own words/way. So, calm down everyone.
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