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Author Topic: Why are our new dwarves such wimps?  (Read 16555 times)

jjdorf

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Re: Why are our new dwarves such wimps?
« Reply #15 on: June 28, 2010, 04:03:14 pm »

My artifacts have spikes that menace with spikes. Are a maces damage effected by weight? If so, the original poster probably got the mace made out of a light material, rather disappointing if maces are effected by weight.

Coming back from a LOOOOOONG lurk to say:


"Yo dorf, I herd you like menacing so I put spikes on yo spikes so you can menace while you menace!"
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Quote from: ledgekindred
I can see menacing spikes of iron, but only a true dorf can make menacing spikes of dog leather or pig tail cloth!  What if they suddenly start decorating all their artifacts with like ... like ... butterflies or something.
Quote from: Heavenfall
One of my artifacts had a butterfly on it.
Oh.  Oh.  Oh Armok I'm so sorry.

Dungeon

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Re: Why are our new dwarves such wimps?
« Reply #16 on: June 28, 2010, 04:35:18 pm »

Make the spike trap with spikes decorated with spikes! That will teach them.

YES!  Then I can impale my non-menacing-spike-producing Dwarves on said spikes and that will REALLY teach them! 

MORE MENACING SPIKES FOR THE SPIKE GOD!  (The Spike God is very menacing, btw.)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Well, its not that I'm not taking you seriously. I just had something I felt was funny to say instead.

Really, it tends to confound me how they can even make spikes out of some of the things that they do. I've had quite a few legendary artifacts made where they make spikes out of dog leather or rope reed. IE, SOFT material. I think spikes, I think hard material that requires you to not impale yourself on it.

A green glass weapon stand that menaces with spikes of green glass=Awesome

A rope reed turban that "menaces" with spikes of dog leather=A dorf that needs smacked upside the head.

Then there is the question of how they use such items, like a bed that menaces with solid spikes. Hence "Hurts so much, but looks cool!"
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I support the eating of Goblins to handle Dwarf food issues. Om nom nom nom, Goblin burgers.

jjdorf

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Re: Why are our new dwarves such wimps?
« Reply #17 on: June 28, 2010, 04:37:53 pm »

Then there is the question of how they use such items, like a bed that menaces with solid spikes. Hence "Hurts so much, but looks cool!"
Obviously, dwarves are sadomasochists.
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Quote from: ledgekindred
I can see menacing spikes of iron, but only a true dorf can make menacing spikes of dog leather or pig tail cloth!  What if they suddenly start decorating all their artifacts with like ... like ... butterflies or something.
Quote from: Heavenfall
One of my artifacts had a butterfly on it.
Oh.  Oh.  Oh Armok I'm so sorry.

Heavenfall

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Re: Why are our new dwarves such wimps?
« Reply #18 on: June 28, 2010, 04:52:56 pm »

One of my artifacts had a butterfly on it.

Very... gay.
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Upon him I will visit famine and a fire, until all around him desolation rings
and all the demons in the outer dark look on amazed and recognize
that vengeance is the business of a dwarf

ledgekindred

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Re: Why are our new dwarves such wimps?
« Reply #19 on: June 28, 2010, 06:10:03 pm »

Quote from: jjdorf
"Yo dorf, I herd you like menacing so I put spikes on yo spikes so you can menace while you menace!"

You win one internets (that menaces with spikes) for making me lol at an overused meme!

Well, its not that I'm not taking you seriously. I just had something I felt was funny to say instead.

Really, it tends to confound me how they can even make spikes out of some of the things that they do. I've had quite a few legendary artifacts made where they make spikes out of dog leather or rope reed. IE, SOFT material. I think spikes, I think hard material that requires you to not impale yourself on it.

(Nah, I know you got it.)

That's what I'm talking about with those menacing spikes though! Have my dorfs lost the ability to menace with spikes using things that couldn't normally menace with spikes?  I can see menacing spikes of iron, but only a true dorf can make menacing spikes of dog leather or pig tail cloth!  What if they suddenly start decorating all their artifacts with like ... like ... butterflies or something.

One of my artifacts had a butterfly on it.

Oh.  Oh.  Oh Armok I'm so sorry.
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I don't understand, though that is about right with anything DF related.
I just hope he dies the same death that all dwarfs deserve: liver disease.
The legend of Reg: http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=65866.0
Atir Stigildegel, Legless Hero of Diamondrelic: http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=83136.0

jjdorf

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Re: Why are our new dwarves such wimps?
« Reply #20 on: June 28, 2010, 06:55:11 pm »

I can see menacing spikes of iron, but only a true dorf can make menacing spikes of dog leather or pig tail cloth!  What if they suddenly start decorating all their artifacts with like ... like ... butterflies or something.

One of my artifacts had a butterfly on it.

Oh.  Oh.  Oh Armok I'm so sorry.

Thank you.  I needed a sig.
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Quote from: ledgekindred
I can see menacing spikes of iron, but only a true dorf can make menacing spikes of dog leather or pig tail cloth!  What if they suddenly start decorating all their artifacts with like ... like ... butterflies or something.
Quote from: Heavenfall
One of my artifacts had a butterfly on it.
Oh.  Oh.  Oh Armok I'm so sorry.

john_alexander

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Re: Why are our new dwarves such wimps?
« Reply #21 on: June 28, 2010, 11:40:28 pm »

A steel mace. With menacing spikes of gold.

Thanks for totally ruining an otherwise awesome combat mace. Now it just has to sit on some wall somewhere, looking pretty, because Urist McStupidWeaponsmith decided it would be cool to add soft gold to a steel mace.

Still; menacing spikes of gold. At least McStupid made something that LOOKS cool.
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Quantum Toast

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Re: Why are our new dwarves such wimps?
« Reply #22 on: June 29, 2010, 01:05:23 pm »

One of my artifacts had a butterfly on it.
Was it an iron butterfly?
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That would be as deadly to the wielder as to anyone else!  You'd sever your own arm at the first swing!  It's perfect!

Heavenfall

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Upon him I will visit famine and a fire, until all around him desolation rings
and all the demons in the outer dark look on amazed and recognize
that vengeance is the business of a dwarf

G-Flex

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Re: Why are our new dwarves such wimps?
« Reply #24 on: June 29, 2010, 04:54:26 pm »

My artifacts have spikes that menace with spikes.

No, they don't.

Quote
Are a maces damage effected by weight? If so, the original poster probably got the mace made out of a light material, rather disappointing if maces are effected by weight.

Yep, they are, although swing velocity isn't negatively impacted by higher weight as much as it should be (read: much at all).
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style

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Re: Why are our new dwarves such wimps?
« Reply #25 on: June 29, 2010, 05:28:28 pm »

My most badass artifact was a ruby throne menacing with spikes of black diamond. I built it an own hall. Epic enough to make the king jealous.
« Last Edit: June 30, 2010, 02:05:33 am by style »
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Mr Bismarck

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Re: Why are our new dwarves such wimps?
« Reply #26 on: June 30, 2010, 06:23:43 am »

The first artifact in my current fort was a cup.  A cup that menaced with spikes of hematite. 

Which is good, because if it doesn't poke me in the eye while I'm drinking, I don't want it.
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monk12

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Re: Why are our new dwarves such wimps?
« Reply #27 on: June 30, 2010, 12:57:58 pm »

Firstly, lol this thread.

Secondly, I now want to see whether slaughtering your dwarves with spikes will cause your engravers and craftsdwarves to capture the images of it forever

Heavenfall

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Re: Why are our new dwarves such wimps?
« Reply #28 on: June 30, 2010, 07:48:32 pm »

They're too busy making pictures of themselves in food.
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Upon him I will visit famine and a fire, until all around him desolation rings
and all the demons in the outer dark look on amazed and recognize
that vengeance is the business of a dwarf

zane314

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Re: Why are our new dwarves such wimps?
« Reply #29 on: June 30, 2010, 08:14:54 pm »

ledgekindred has issued a new mandate!

Make items that menace with spikes (3/3)
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