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Author Topic: Intentionally crappy forum romance fiction  (Read 17232 times)

Karnewarrior

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Re: Intentionally crappy forum romance fiction
« Reply #135 on: June 23, 2010, 11:22:36 pm »


 :P I am evil. Also, if there's a part II, Lokii will be a James-Bond-esqe villan. Dun dun dunna, dun dunna, dun dadadaaaaa!!!!
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Jimmy

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Re: Intentionally crappy forum romance fiction
« Reply #136 on: June 27, 2010, 08:46:12 am »

Disclaimer: Not written by me.

http://www.gaiaonline.com/forum/original-stories-prose/my-book-the-price-of-sexy-love-please-read-and-rate/t.44042817/

It seriously takes talent to write something this bad. Read it to the end, it's worth it.
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Heron TSG

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Re: Intentionally crappy forum romance fiction
« Reply #137 on: June 27, 2010, 11:14:59 am »

I think that it's a parody of a badfic, but I'm not entirely sure of that.
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Est Sularus Oth Mithas
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Jackrabbit

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Re: Intentionally crappy forum romance fiction
« Reply #138 on: June 27, 2010, 10:31:57 pm »

I reckon it was. I was about to make a joke about how the guy's sensitive side was showing and the fic made it for me.
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Org

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Re: Intentionally crappy forum romance fiction
« Reply #139 on: June 27, 2010, 10:35:43 pm »


 :P I am evil. Also, if there's a part II, Lokii will be a James-Bond-esqe villan. Dun dun dunna, dun dunna, dun dadadaaaaa!!!!
this is very creepy.
In more ways than one.
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Akroma

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Re: Intentionally crappy forum romance fiction
« Reply #140 on: June 28, 2010, 02:13:19 am »

dear god, this is still around ?




no, bad forumnites




drop it
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Jackrabbit

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Re: Intentionally crappy forum romance fiction
« Reply #141 on: June 28, 2010, 02:22:55 am »

Blame Taco Dan for encouraging Karnewarrior. And for pretty much everything else.

Finger pointed squarely at you, Taco.
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Duke 2.0

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Re: Intentionally crappy forum romance fiction
« Reply #142 on: June 28, 2010, 02:30:37 am »

 Then again, originally it was WorkerDrone egging me on. And I suspected Janet had a hand in there somewhere.

 But my honor was retained through not ever locking this thread and the worst it ever got to was people complaining about how terrible it is without anything terribly terrible. I'm proud of you guys for not taking this too far.
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Il Palazzo

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Re: Intentionally crappy forum romance fiction
« Reply #143 on: June 28, 2010, 03:53:17 am »

It was a dark, stormy night in Transyvlamia. Thunders roared as lightenings stroke across the sky. In the gloomy forest below, a lone mansion stood braving the wilderness with it's sturdy stonework.
Creatures of the dark scurried by it's windows, sometimes stopping to listen to the sounds seeping from within. Inside, a familiar ritual was being conducted.
"Please my love, I can't take in any more." Whimpered Kaernwariorr.
"Do eat up dear, I made this especially for you. Just as you like it." WorderKrone insisted in a vaguely threatening manner.
"But I'm full. And just look at me, I've grown fat, I'm ugly now!"
"Of course you're not. I love your body. I love it all, the more the better. Now, open your sweet mouth and eat up."
WorderKrone wiped the sweat off his brow, hauling this much food was a hard work, especially for his frail body. Too bad his trusty powered armour suit broke down, carrying those buckets would be so much easier. But then, it would probably scare his precious Kaernwariorr.
He looked upon his lover and admired the splendid body, which he himself helped nurture. The multiple chins, more bold than even legendary Aquizarr's. The mighty hill of his belly, now full and satiated, with thick stumps of limbs protruding from it's sides, apathetically wiggling - so useless and purely decorative.
"Brrruup" - A loud sound of intestinal transportation came out of the fat mountain.
"I can hear you're getting hungry again."
"No, I'm not. I've had enough." Said Kaern pleadingly.
"Yes you are. I love you and I know better." There was no room for disagreement in WorderKrone's voice.
"Yes, I'm hungry"
"Good boy. I'll get you something to eat then."

Phatos wondered how did he get here. Just a while back he left McPluto's with a supply of triple McChickenBeefCheeseBigHugeBurgersTM, and now he was walking through a forest, storm raging above. He could've sworn that there was no forest near McPluto's, but then, he rarely strayed off the usual route between his house and the fast food center, so he admitted to himself that he might've been wrong.
As he was chewing on one of the burgers, he saw a light in the distance.
"Dear me, must be a gas station. I hope they got some Cloacola, I'm getting thirsty."

Later that night, as WorderKrone was cleaning the mincing machine, he reflected on all the years he and his mate spent together. It was a good life. They had each other, and they needed each other. No troublesome neighbours to annoy them, nothing to interrupt their happiness.
The location was really convenient too. A dimensional rift leading straight to McPluto's made getting food so much easier. And Kaernwariorr needed a lot of that. He smiled as he thought of his lover, then finished the last bit of McChickenBeefCheeseBigHugeBurgerTM, picked up the buckets and headed towards the bedroom, where the might body of Kaern waited to be fed.
"Hello, dear, it's dinner time."

(any possible similarity of names and places to the real ones is purely coincidental)
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Lokii

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Re: Intentionally crappy forum romance fiction
« Reply #144 on: June 28, 2010, 04:22:14 am »

Whoa. Wait what?

 I'm the villain, so I have to die, I guess, huh?

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Heron TSG

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Re: Intentionally crappy forum romance fiction
« Reply #145 on: June 28, 2010, 09:55:40 am »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
That's pretty weird, but who is this Phatos and why is he there? Does he play a part?

Cloacola sounds nasty, I'd have to say.
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Est Sularus Oth Mithas
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Il Palazzo

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Re: Intentionally crappy forum romance fiction
« Reply #146 on: June 29, 2010, 03:49:10 am »

That's pretty weird, but who is this Phatos and why is he there? Does he play a part?
Oh, come on. He's there, 'till the end. It's not that hard to figure it out.
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Karnewarrior

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Re: Intentionally crappy forum romance fiction
« Reply #147 on: June 29, 2010, 01:00:04 pm »

That was very disturbing. I'm anorexic now, Palazzo. :(
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Thou art I, I art Thou.
The trust you have bestowed upon thy comrade is now reciprocated in turn.
Thou shall be blessed when calling upon personae of the Hangman Arcana.
May this tie bind thee to a brighter future!​
Ikusaba Quest! - Fistfighting space robots for the benefit of your familial bonds to Satan is passe, so you call Sherlock Holmes and ask her to pop by.

Taco Dan

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Re: Intentionally crappy forum romance fiction
« Reply #148 on: June 30, 2010, 12:35:39 am »

I want a McChickenBeefCheeseBigHugeBurgerTM. It sounds delicious.
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