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[Urist Imiknorris]

KURTULMAK, GOD OF THE ARMOK I FORUM.

[Gatleos]

KURTULMAK, GOD OF THE ARMOK I FORUM.

Oh, that's why I've never seen him. The Armok I Forum is like Bay12's creepy basement though, he could still be lurking down there and we wouldn't even know...   0_0

[The Merchant Of Menace]

Uh. n00b here. I still have no idea.

[Urist Imiknorris]

Read.

Contains such things as:

One of you gnomes hit the button and reported Kurtulmak for "abusing his moderator powers."

The great God of Kobolds put himself on Mute for a month to ponder the complexities of what had happened.

[Max White]

Uh. n00b here. I still have no idea.

You may have noticed that we have a nice, reletivly clean society here. Well sure, you have people like capn and myself walking around, even a few people who like elves, but for the most part it is a nice place. Well we didn't get here through what you would call 'ethical' means. You see, every jerk that turns up gets locked in the Armok I Forum, a forum dedicated to Dwarf Fortresses older brother. This dosn't sound so bad, however! In this forum lurks a terrible beast, who eats users, so the jerks mostly end up as monster chow.

Legend says that this monster, namd Kurtulmak, is currently sleeping, and will for another 300 years, untill the day when Salves to Armok 3 is born, and everything we know and love here is sucked into a vortex, so life can begin anew for this new installment of the Armok series.

[Urist Imiknorris]

Salves to Armok 3? Is he injured? WHO DID IT?? WAS IT URIST?! TELL ME DAMMIT!!

[The Merchant Of Menace]

More importantly!! Is. the salve. GOLDEN!!!

[Max White]

Salves to Armok 3? Is he injured? WHO DID IT?? WAS IT URIST?! TELL ME DAMMIT!!

No, it was Iton...

More importantly!! Is. the salve. GOLDEN!!!

No, but it may very well be ‼golden‼

[Zrk2]

More importantly!! Is. the salve. GOLDEN!!!

No, it is blood.

BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!!! SALVE FOR THE SALVE THRONE!!!

[Gatleos]

Salves to Armok 3? Is he injured? WHO DID IT?? WAS IT URIST?! TELL ME DAMMIT!!

No, it was Iton...

You're getting your legends mixed up. Armok III has nothing to do with the great God of Blood, he's the third in a line of pansy Elves who dishonored the name of Armok by using it as their surname. You see, Armok lost a game of Uno to one of the Elven gods of vines or some shit and had to agree to give immunity to a single Elf from his divine retribution, as per a bet agreed upon before the game. The Elven vine god told the Elf Kifino Smilelover about the deal, and he and the other Elves of Crowdblossomed soiled the name of the God of Blood by changing Kifino's surname to Armok. The prancy Elves were pursued by an entire army of Dwarves for two more generations before an axe-wielding Dwarf by the name of Iton Bridgebars (leading a pack of bloodthirsty Dwarves) finally cornered Kifino Armok III at the Pass of Lashing and killed him in such a horrible way that it was too violent even for Dwarf Fortress and had to be censored.