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Author Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves  (Read 448289 times)

Nyxalinth

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Dear Dorfs,

I don't  want to hear ONE FREAKIN WORD about the miasma that kobold is generating. You're the ones letting him rot away merrily on the steps.  There's plenty of room in the refuse heap, all of you have hauling turned on...go to it! Or maybe you secretly like the stinky?

Confused,

Me

So...what's your note to your dwarves?
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Quotes from two friends who don't play:

"Drunk dorfs falling out of trees, no less. "Oi, Urist McBonebreaker! *hic* Watch me flyyyyy!" *thud*"

"I know this isn't nice of me, but the thought of dwarves falling out of trees makes me laugh."

Zaerosz

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #1 on: August 08, 2010, 03:12:14 am »

Dear Dwarves,

LEARN AXING FASTER.

rat_pack40

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #2 on: August 08, 2010, 05:46:36 am »

A note to Urist,

When I asked you to dig in to the side of the volcano, I had hoped you would be smart enough to run after you punched through the wall. Instead, you throw the rest of the fort into a tantrum spiral.

Signed,

Me
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thijser

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3 on: August 08, 2010, 05:51:44 am »

Dear urist mcminer,
Please stop killing your fellow dwarf by causing caveins above them or digging the ground under their feet. Futhermore I would really like it if you would think before blocking your own way out of mining site.

Signed,
your supreme overlord.
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I'm not a native English speaker. Feel free to point out grammar/spelling mistakes. This way I can learn better English.

The Yellow Peril

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4 on: August 08, 2010, 06:03:27 am »

Dear Urist McMason,

Thank you have having the intelligence to ALWAYS contruct and remove walls/floors in such a way that either traps you, or causes you to fall 10 z-levels to your death.

Signed,

Me
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Shaio

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5 on: August 08, 2010, 06:05:54 am »

Dear idiot expedition leader.

Enjoy starving

Signed Shaio

PS next time you pack a sissy fit, don't destroy the farm plots and doom whole fort to starve.
pps also don't bash down entrance bridge and let monsters in.
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VoidPointer

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #6 on: August 08, 2010, 06:59:26 am »

Dear Urist McEverydwarf,

When you refuse to do something and don't give me any hints as to why, it hurts my feelings.

Please stop. :'(

Love,
VP
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Josephus

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7 on: August 08, 2010, 07:03:27 am »

Dear migrants:

No. Go away.

- Josephus
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i had the elves bring me two tigermen, although i forgot to let them out of the cage and they died : ( i was sad : (

Evergod41

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #8 on: August 08, 2010, 07:16:51 am »

Dear Urist McOMGMYHEADSONFIRE!

Dont go running into the commons area and think someone will douse you... It only makes all the nice white wooden furniture catch flames, and melt your friends fat, as they are too stupid to stop eating and run away... Oh, and stop batheing in the river, it might freeze right before you leave.

Mygodyourstupid,
  The Mysterious Force That Commands All!

Serio

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #9 on: August 08, 2010, 07:17:28 am »

Dear Urist McMason,

Would you PLEASE stop trying to wall in your friends? I'm fully aware of the lack of entertainment in Riddledroads, but that is no excuse for your behaviour.
Signed,
A concerned overseer.
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Akura

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #10 on: August 08, 2010, 07:42:18 am »

Dear Urist McOnBreak,
  The wall around our fort, the only thing keeping everyone from having to watch the slaughter, rape, and pillage(presumably in that order) of everyone else at the hands of goblins, humans, and most likely, elves, is not going to finish itself. I suppose the entire fort will just have to lie in a pool of its own blood just so you can play with your cat.

Signed,
Someone who wishes an unfortunate incident on your cat.
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stormyseasons

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #11 on: August 08, 2010, 09:39:40 am »

Dear dorfs,

Please learn military skills faster if you wish to live. Alternately, don't dawdle all day about linking bridges to levers. This concerned overlord can always start a new fortress. Each dorf only lives once. Choose wisely.

Your faintly bemused overlord.
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Greiger

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #12 on: August 08, 2010, 09:47:27 am »

Dear Kurthyvor*, Dracon Trader

Just because YOU can breathe underwater does not mean your mule can.  Stop swimming through the sewer system to get to the trade depot and then having your friends getting pissy and leaving because your mule drown.  No, you are not aquatic lizard Santa.  It will not be amusing for you to enter the fortress through the meeting hall waterfall bearing gifts.

Sincerely,
Tired of cleaning corpses out of the plumbing.


*"Dagger" in dracon
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Astramancer

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #13 on: August 08, 2010, 11:30:33 am »

Dear Food Haulers,

The kitchen is full of food, both rotting and about to rot.  There are six of you loitering in the dining hall, complaining about the lack of variety in your food.  I sense a solution here.

Sincerely,

The Overseer
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Jelle

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #14 on: August 08, 2010, 11:32:59 am »

Dear Uristmcnopants.

Please put some clothes back on.
I know your old clothes wore off but I've made some new ones for you, out of silk to!
Your nudist behavior is starting to disrupt hard working dwarves, and with three types of vomit on you you're not much to look at.
On that note please stop having children (that vomit on you), 10 children is enough!

Yours
 Unknown forces
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