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Author Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves  (Read 1491833 times)

TolyK

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #1350 on: April 11, 2011, 04:11:09 am »

Dear hunters,
because they would be better in our meat industry.
Sincerely, overseer
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My Mafia Stats
just do whatevery tolyK and blame it as a bastard mod
Shakerag: Who are you personally suspicious of?
At this point?  TolyK.

dirty foot

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #1351 on: April 11, 2011, 04:23:23 am »

Dear overseer,
Why?
Sincerely,
hunters.
Dear Hunters,

Because your need for 40+ arrows for a single bird kill is inefficient, and the animal food supply doesn't repopulate itself unless it's domesticated.

Best,

The Overseer
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TolyK

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #1352 on: April 11, 2011, 04:46:52 am »

Dear overseer,
We're planning on conscripting in the militia.
Sincerely,
Hunters.
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My Mafia Stats
just do whatevery tolyK and blame it as a bastard mod
Shakerag: Who are you personally suspicious of?
At this point?  TolyK.

strongrudder

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #1353 on: April 11, 2011, 05:10:13 am »

Dear overseer,
We're planning on conscripting in the militia.
Sincerely,
Hunters.

Dear Hunters,
AAARRRGH.
Sincerely,
Uniform Distribution Dept.
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The flying ☼Earworm☼ strikes strongrudder in the brain!
The ☼Earworm☼ has lodged firmly in the wound!
strongrudder gives in to music.

TolyK

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #1354 on: April 11, 2011, 05:16:52 am »

Dear Uniform Distribution Department,
There's a reason marksdwarves don't hunt in the military.
~Sincerely, Hunters.
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just do whatevery tolyK and blame it as a bastard mod
Shakerag: Who are you personally suspicious of?
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Olith McHuman

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #1355 on: April 11, 2011, 05:42:22 am »

Dear Urist McPancake,

I notice you finally got around to cleaning the far side of the atomsmasher. Good job!
Next life, don't pull the lever first.
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Strange guy

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #1356 on: April 11, 2011, 05:49:25 am »

Dear Fledgling Military

You're training most of the time, yet all your combat skills have gone rusty? Is this my fault, have I done something wrong in the military screen? Or are you just being dwarfs?

Time to start using traps I guess.
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ledgekindred

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #1357 on: April 11, 2011, 08:43:23 am »

Urist McHammerdwarf
On the one hand I appreciate your killing the Giant that had come to "Visit."  On the other I must express some slight disappointment on behalf of the Axedwarf who had chopped its feet and hands off and severed its spine being shown up by your arrival and single blow to the Giant's head, thereby granting you the kill. 

McAxedwarf, you were doing a bang-up job and I hope your 13 goblin deathblows shall lessen any potential disappointment. 

Yrs
Benevolent (for once) Overseer
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I don't understand, though that is about right with anything DF related.
I just hope he dies the same death that all dwarfs deserve: liver disease.
The legend of Reg: http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=65866.0
Atir Stigildegel, Legless Hero of Diamondrelic: http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=83136.0

Byakugan01

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #1358 on: April 11, 2011, 08:48:37 am »

Dear Siegeing Goblins,

  I realize I gave Giant Cave Spiders the [PET] and [TRAINABLE] Tags. The intent was for me to use them against you, not for you to use them against me. This is especially true when my fotress is relying on a incomplete drawbridge deathtrap and a gauntlet of 8 GCS beyond that for its defense. The four undertrained squads of dorfs don't count. That being said, thanks for showing me the error of actually training the GCS for war, since they only produce a punny shot of string when so trained. 

 Laughing as my stray GCS nom your WAR GCS,
Byakugan01
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From Mr. Welch's 1350 things he is not allowed to do in a RPG:
148. There is no Gnomish Deathgrip, and even if there was, it wouldn't involve tongs.
171. My character's dying words are not allowed to be "Hastur, Hastur, Hastur"
218. No matter my alignment, organizing halfling pit fights is a violation.
231. I am not allowed to do anything that would make a Sith Lord cry.
240. Any character with more than three skills specializing in chainsaw is vetoed.

shadenight123

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #1359 on: April 11, 2011, 08:54:52 am »

dear legendary mining dwarfs,
you must NOT commit suicide by jumping off the newly formed cliffs YOU DUG OUT, to create a mote.
sincerely, overseer.

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“Well,” he said. “We’re in the Forgotten hunting grounds I take it. Your screams just woke them up early. Congratulations, Lyara.”
“Do something!” she whispered, trying to keep her sight on all of them at once.
Basileus clapped his hands once. The Forgotten took a step forward, attracted by the sound.
“There, I did something. I clapped. I like clapping,” he said. -The Investigator And The Case Of The Missing Brain.

jaxy15

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #1360 on: April 11, 2011, 09:55:17 am »

Dear Urist McStonecrafter,

We appreciate how you made an artifact to become legendary and make better chert swords for the new military, but can you make it something other than a piccolo?

Sincerely,
An overseer
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Dwarf Fortress: Threats of metabolism.

dirty foot

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #1361 on: April 11, 2011, 10:46:56 am »

Dear Urist McLegendaryHammerDwarf,

You know, you don't HAVE to dodge toward the water when fighting tiny badgers that are terrorizing my gatherers.. You had four other --much better-- less suicidal options than the water.

Seriously,

Overseer
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #1362 on: April 11, 2011, 05:24:37 pm »

Dear Urist McEngraverandarchitect,
I want you to design those forges and bridges.
I disabled your engraving. You haul wood.
I disable your wood hauling. You go on break.
Why are you trying to avoid architecting? Do you have an aversion to building buildings when there are some of a type already existing? If so, let me know so that I can dismantle our outdoor metalsmithing array and move it inside.
WORK with me here!
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Sig
Are you a GM with players who haven't posted? TheDelinquent Players Help will have Bay12 give you an action!
[GreatWyrmGold] gets a little crown. May it forever be his mark of Cain; let no one argue pointless subjects with him lest they receive the same.

Edosurist

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #1363 on: April 11, 2011, 07:17:06 pm »

Dear mayor:
Please don't stall the meetings so that I can upgrade my fortress, instead of the liaison leaving furiously.
Sincerely,
Overseer
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So now all we've got to do is to put a couple of grannies into the LHC and smash them against each other at relativistic speeds. Lather, rinse, repeat until we got results.

MythagoWoods

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #1364 on: April 11, 2011, 07:43:19 pm »

Dear Marksdwarves,

Stop it.

Sincerly,  Your overseer glowering at over 3k bone/wooden bolts you've been assigned for training/combat yet refuse to use
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My cows are war trainable. BEWARE THE BATTLE CATTLE!
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