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Author Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves  (Read 1473368 times)

BlueMagic

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4440 on: October 08, 2012, 09:05:39 pm »

Dear Migrants,
Listen, I love you guys and all. But even with Dwarf Therapist it's a pain to manage you all and the fact that one of your recent waves brought with you thirty dwarves sometime within my second year is not working out for me.
I'm tempted to throw half of you useless pieces of shit into the military and be done with you already. Christ.
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Blue cancels Type Coherent Post: Crying Over Fictional Characters

Smashness

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4441 on: October 08, 2012, 10:27:51 pm »

Dear UristMcMiner,

I do enjoy you trying to complete your jobs in any way possible, but please, the next time fresh magma comes gushing at you, don't decide to cook yourself.

Sincerely,
The Guy Who Stops Playing Dwarf Fortress For A While And Comes Back To Your Suicidal Self.
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4442 on: October 08, 2012, 10:50:08 pm »

Dear Migrants,
Listen, I love you guys and all. But even with Dwarf Therapist it's a pain to manage you all and the fact that one of your recent waves brought with you thirty dwarves sometime within my second year is not working out for me.
I'm tempted to throw half of you useless pieces of shit into the military and be done with you already. Christ.
Go ahead, there's no potential loss!
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Sig
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[GreatWyrmGold] gets a little crown. May it forever be his mark of Cain; let no one argue pointless subjects with him lest they receive the same.

hops

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4443 on: October 09, 2012, 03:17:25 am »

My policy is throwing all migrants to the military and then draw workers from there if I need them.

Dear the Elf who just shot my goddamn hand off,
AHAHAHAHAHA HOW DO YOU LIKE THE FIRES NOW YOU ARE DYING HUGGING A TREE- oh wait you're already a corpse.

Dammit,
Adventurer
« Last Edit: October 09, 2012, 03:19:46 am by Objective »
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she/her. (Pronouns vary over time.) The artist formerly known as Objective/Cinder.

One True Polycule with flame99 <3

Avatar by makowka

Findulidas

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4444 on: October 09, 2012, 03:37:29 am »

Dear insane glassmaker

If you so desperately need crystal glass for your artifact, dont grab the last rock crystals and add them into it first. Just when I thought this game had shown me everything, new levels of idiocy creeps up.

Sincerely your God and Master the Player
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Berossus

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4445 on: October 09, 2012, 03:42:23 am »

Dear Urist McMiner

Really, theres warm stone here?
Right next to the lava?
Amazing.

I really didnt notice the last 327 times you told me and deleted my carefully placed designations.

We are looking for the last vein of candy we havent mined dry, and trying to breach the circus to give our mighty fortress something to do at last, now go and fucking dig where i tell you you freaking pussy.
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My preferred method is to wait until their back is turned, then impale them with a pike held by someone else.
Preferrably from a distance.

crazysheep

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4446 on: October 09, 2012, 04:33:49 am »

Dear insane glassmaker

If you so desperately need crystal glass for your artifact, dont grab the last rock crystals and add them into it first. Just when I thought this game had shown me everything, new levels of idiocy creeps up.

Sincerely your God and Master the Player
Just forbid the rock crystals he collected using q-f, he'll go and collect other raw gems for his artifact.
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"Don't be in such a hurry to grow up, for there's nothing a kid can't do."

hops

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4447 on: October 09, 2012, 04:43:31 am »

Dear insane glassmaker

If you so desperately need crystal glass for your artifact, dont grab the last rock crystals and add them into it first. Just when I thought this game had shown me everything, new levels of idiocy creeps up.

Sincerely your God and Master the Player
Just forbid the rock crystals he collected using q-f, he'll go and collect other raw gems for his artifact.
Last I checked dwarves with moods don't obey forbidding.
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she/her. (Pronouns vary over time.) The artist formerly known as Objective/Cinder.

One True Polycule with flame99 <3

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crazysheep

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4448 on: October 09, 2012, 04:53:17 am »

Last time I checked they did..
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"Don't be in such a hurry to grow up, for there's nothing a kid can't do."

darkgloomie

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4449 on: October 09, 2012, 03:09:43 pm »

Dear insane glassmaker

If you so desperately need crystal glass for your artifact, dont grab the last rock crystals and add them into it first. Just when I thought this game had shown me everything, new levels of idiocy creeps up.

Sincerely your God and Master the Player
Just forbid the rock crystals he collected using q-f, he'll go and collect other raw gems for his artifact.
Last I checked dwarves with moods don't obey forbidding.
if he's already claimed the crystal, forbidding the item in the building (t-f) will drop it from the list. After that you can use it as you need.
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Lolfail0009

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4450 on: October 10, 2012, 02:13:25 am »

Dear Ucsugospa* McFlamewielder,

Please don't launch fireballs at a kobold thief and a unowheba thief almost simultaneously, for two reasons:
  • You are not a youkai. Only the youkai can launch multiple fireballs at the same time, and
  • It just stopped raining. Hint hint.

Signed,
Lolfail0009, Sound Of The Night.


Dear Ucsugospa McWeaver,

Are you made of magic? No, you can't be, that's another youkai trick. How in the hell did you manage to turn a Deathcaster's venom into thread? Were you sprayed and immediately got a 'Collect Web' job? Sweet Adun Adun, you're good.

Signed,
Lolfail0009, Sound Of The Night

(The Deathcaster caste has a [CAN_DO_INTERACTION:MATERIAL_EMISSION] for web, but instead of silk, it's [CDI:MATERIAL:LOCAL_CREATURE_MAT:VENOM:WEB_SPRAY]
Contact syndrome causing paralysis and eventual necrosis. Also, syndromes aren't working for me. Help?)

*Translates into dagger, then to Urist
« Last Edit: October 10, 2012, 05:20:22 pm by Lolfail0009 »
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ElenaRoan

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4451 on: October 11, 2012, 07:28:31 am »

Dear beseiging "vile force of darkness"

Thank you for being considerate enough to constantly beseige me in the sealed off L2 and L3 caverns.


Dear Ambushing Warlocks,

While I'm glad there has apparently been a scism in your ranks, could you not have the 'discussion' in my entrance corridore?


- Bemused watcher

I'm guessing some Masterwork oddities causing these but still amusing.  Got seige after seige in the caverns, which I had only opened briefly, high in the air, to get spores then resealed.  And the latest round of ambushes has resulted in 3 lots of warlocks, all battling it out amongst themselves in the entrance corridore, which I wish was fully trapped as they haven't wandered into the traps that have been done so far.
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tahujdt

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4452 on: October 11, 2012, 02:53:43 pm »

Sieges in the caverns are intentional.
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Zaffre

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4453 on: October 11, 2012, 04:24:49 pm »

Dear Urist,

Get over the fact that your cats have been slaughtered for nourishment. Yes, we know you liked them, but they're gone now. You'll find another pet, I'm sure.

Me
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Cassandra

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4454 on: October 11, 2012, 10:14:18 pm »

Dear Urist,

Get over the fact that your cats have been slaughtered for nourishment. Yes, we know you liked them, but they're gone now. You'll find another pet, I'm sure.

Me

Dear Zaffre

Get over the fact that I went into a fell mood and slaughtered your only legendary Weaponsmith for a sock. Yes, I know you liked him, but he's gone now. You'll find another legendary Weaponsmith, I'm sure.

Urist McCatlover

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Cassandra likes elves for their taste, Cobalt for it's pretty colors, and kittens for their cute intentions. She is incredibly strong, but horribly unlucky, and speaks with a rasping accent. She is white with black eyes. She likes dwarves for their hilarious intentions.

"The fuck do you mean by 'plot'"
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