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[AzyWng]

Dear Urist Mc NotDumping what I want you to dump:

Dump the items in question or stop complaining about the smell!

[Lozzymandias]

Dear Urist McThinksHeCanTakeOnAWereapeWithoutWeaponsArmorOrTraining

The alert was up, the military was on its way. All you had to do was walk 5 steps behind a layer of traps. Hell, you could have just ran screaming the other direction. If you have the good fortune to be reincarnated as a dwarf rather than the pea-brained guinea pig you deserve to be, next time don't train to be a legendary gemcutter before you do something fatally stupid.

Sincerely, the Overseer.

[zman5237]

To the families of the failed SilverRope expedition,
While it is against the Overseer culture to send apologies to the family of the deceased, I feel the expediency of the failure and death of all 7 of the expedition members would merit some sort of explanation. When we arrived to the location everything seemed to be in order, it was only when we started striking the earth and cutting down trees did we begin to get a downpour of water. At this point everything froze to a halt as water began to pour down on us in waterfall like manner, in confusion I looked up only to see a body of water, several meters thick, resting above our heads. It was then that I realized that our expedition was doomed from the start.
If it is any condolence, I'm sure that the 5 seconds between founding and drowning set some sort of record for outpost failure that will be remembered for generations to come.

With regards,
The Overseer

[TheBiggerFish]

How did that even...

[Nyxalinth]

Edėm Rakustasteb, Mechanic has grown attached to a Prepared Food pot (green glass, large)!

So, Edėm... any comments how this happened? We do need that pot back at the kitchen, you know. Don't be unreasonable!

Has he ever been drafted, and has possibly used it as a miscellaneous item?

[Staalo]

Edėm Rakustasteb, Mechanic has grown attached to a Prepared Food pot (green glass, large)!

So, Edėm... any comments how this happened? We do need that pot back at the kitchen, you know. Don't be unreasonable!

Has he ever been drafted, and has possibly used it as a miscellaneous item?

That case was a combination of the "will claim a random item of favorite material" bug and wandering into a danger room; she started parrying with it and very quickly leveled up to a Legendary Miner (another bug).

[Dutrius]

To: Urist McCarpenter (Formerly Urist McBroker).
You had one job. One. Job. And you screwed it up.

You may remember that Dwarven caravan that just left. The one you were supposed to trade with? Yeah, that one.
When a caravan comes, and I tell you to go and trade, I want you to do just that.
Instead, you decided to grab a bit of wood and make a barrel.
After I stopped you from doing that, you decided to haul a plump helmet from the farm to the food stockpile.
After I removed your hauling privileges, you decided to throw a party. Then sleep. Then eat. Then go on break. Then...
Meanwhile, the caravan was getting tired of your complete ineptitude and notified me that they were going to leave.

Since we needed to trade, I stripped you of the title of Broker and gave it to Urist McLyeMaker, who was closest to the depot.
He responded immediately. We traded. If an untrained lye maker can get a simple job done, why can't you?
The only reason you're not being thrown in the volcano is because the migrants want beds.
Now go do your damn job!

- That voice in your head that you ignore a lot.

[tranquilium]

Dear Urists of Oiledcity,
Why the fuck did you not go up the stairs for a year?
I needed trees cut, everything was open, and there were designated woodcutters.
Why? Just why?
-Overseer

Two possible things (well, three actually)

1. All axes are occupied (unlikely)
2. The tree is designated at the trunk level instead of at the root. Remove the designation and designated it at the root.
3. Wood cutting has a really really low priority (lower than hauling), disable all labors of said wood cutting (including hauling). I like to have my wood cutter trained a bit as a axedwarf and endlessly do two things (cutting trees, just to spite the elves) and gather plants endlessly. (Gather plant has a really high priority, disable it when you want him to cut trees).

[khearn]

You can also set the priority when designating trees to be cut, like you can for mining. It seems to be as if I do get better response when I set it to priority 1, so it seems like the priority may also effect how it ranks against other types of jobs. Or maybe I'm just experiencing confirmation bias. I haven't really tested it very much.

[Doctor_Whiteface]

Dear Urist McMoody,

Congratulations, you inspired me to create a magma forge and start the leather industry to supply your fecking Mood. Now I've got a poxy Adamantine Warhammer to show for it. What've you got to say for yourself?

...what's that?

It'll pay for the platinum warhammers we need to outfit the crusher squads, or could alternately make a great weapon for the Hammerer?

Good point. Carry on.

[WackoMcGoose]

A post-mortem letter to the dwarves of Goldflames:

Hey. Remember how I set that one stockpile specifically for trade goods of type "Trap Components - All" and "Prepared Food - All"? Remember how I then disabled said categories on all other stockpiles? Alright. Well, remember how you didn't do that, and thus you had to waste so much time hauling extra bins to the trade depot, and even then, we only had the Prepared Food, worn clothing, and one +Copper Spiked Ball+ (aside to Urist McMetalsmith: get those fucking things out of your workshop so they're trade-depot-designateable next time)? And how I had to spend so much time micromanaging all that, that I forgot to give you guys another squad or five?

And then remember the 50-goblin-plus-five-troll siege that killed 100 of you as a result of the cave-adapted (my fault technically, I never moved the training grounds topside after the first castle walls were done) Mountainous Roses getting their beards ripped off before killing one troll, and how I had to "salvage" it all by unleashing the clowns?

Yeah. If you guys get reincarnated in my next fort, or somehow cross the realms into v.42 and migrate there... get your hauling locations straight, especially when I retroactively-forbid an item subtype in an older stockpile.

Low-frameratedly yours (why did I have to trade for so many animals and not butcher them), your (former) Oversser

[NESgamer190]

To the dwarven civilization in possession of Kingsilver, the current fort:

Why must you all have some seriously pain in the rear to make insturments?!?  The fact I can't make one instrument from one station alone is a bother enough as it is...  the fact I need string hurts too.

Thy bothered overseer,

NESgamer190

[martinuzz]

Dear Urist. Did you *really* have to go into a fey mood and become a worthless bonecarver 2 DAYS BEFORE YOUR 12TH BIRTHDAY, WHEN YOU WOULD HAVE GOTTEN SOME PROPER PRIMING?

Ah well, at least you made a bone throne fitting for a throne room.

[mirrizin]

Dear Urist. Did you *really* have to go into a fey mood and become a worthless bonecarver 2 DAYS BEFORE YOUR 12TH BIRTHDAY, WHEN YOU WOULD HAVE GOTTEN SOME PROPER PRIMING?

Ah well, at least you made a bone throne fitting for a throne room.

What kinds of bones were thusly employed?

[martinuzz]

A sheep bone throne decorated with GCS silk, steel, clay, and sheep bone.