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Author Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves  (Read 1473359 times)

Thisfox

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #6945 on: April 27, 2017, 04:39:26 pm »

Dear Dwarves of Opencrafts--

We can't do any sodding crafts, because we are running out of rocks. This is because no one has mined anything for six months. There are three of you with picks, and the ability and inclination to use them. I know everyone would like a bedroom, let alone a larger dining room and a forge, and also that the miners don't have anything else to take up their time. So get up off your lazy arses and get to work!

--The Management.
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Mules gotta spleen. Dwarfs gotta eat.
Thisfox likes aquifers, olivine, Forgotten Beasts for their imagination, & dorfs for their stupidity. She prefers to consume gin & tonic. She absolutely detests Facebook.
"Urist McMason died out of pure spite to make you wonder why he was suddenly dead"
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Foxite

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #6946 on: April 27, 2017, 04:45:09 pm »

Dear Dwarves of Opencrafts--

We can't do any sodding crafts, because we are running out of rocks. This is because no one has mined anything for six months. There are three of you with picks, and the ability and inclination to use them. I know everyone would like a bedroom, let alone a larger dining room and a forge, and also that the miners don't have anything else to take up their time. So get up off your lazy arses and get to work!

--The Management.
Possible causes:
- Burrow restrictions/civilian alert
- picks forbidden but not dropped (for whatever stupid reason, there's probably a bug report on that somewhere)
- mining labor disabled
- try deleting the designation and re-doing it, that has helped me at least once.
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The best way to demonstrate it to him is take a save of 40 year old fortress with 150 dwarves in it on a good sized embark with a volcano that just breached the circus and install it on his gaming rig and watch it bring his rig to its knees.

Thisfox

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #6947 on: April 27, 2017, 10:12:52 pm »

Dear Dwarves of Opencrafts--

We can't do any sodding crafts, because we are running out of rocks. This is because no one has mined anything for six months. There are three of you with picks, and the ability and inclination to use them. I know everyone would like a bedroom, let alone a larger dining room and a forge, and also that the miners don't have anything else to take up their time. So get up off your lazy arses and get to work!

--The Management.
Possible causes:
- Burrow restrictions/civilian alert
- picks forbidden but not dropped (for whatever stupid reason, there's probably a bug report on that somewhere)
- mining labor disabled
- try deleting the designation and re-doing it, that has helped me at least once.

Thankyou. I've finally got results, but not through those things.

1. I don't use burrows/alerts. I've got enough things going wrong as it is without that happening too.
2. I've not forbidden anything in the last three forts I've founded, so unless they're auto-forbidding, it's not that.
3. Mining labour is not disabled. I checked when it reached three months.
4. I used the other method: I made more picks with some purchased metal.

The picks were not used, they went straight to a weapons stockpile and are still there. However, the owners of the original copper (arrived at embark) picks suddenly started mining when those three new iron picks were manufactured and stockpiled. It's like the dorfs said "Ooops, we're about to have some scum cross the picket with some new picks, fellas, let's get to work before the dodgers arrive".
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Thisfox likes aquifers, olivine, Forgotten Beasts for their imagination, & dorfs for their stupidity. She prefers to consume gin & tonic. She absolutely detests Facebook.
"Urist McMason died out of pure spite to make you wonder why he was suddenly dead"
Oh god... Plump Helmet Man Mimes!

D_E

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #6948 on: April 28, 2017, 06:30:18 pm »

Are your miners perchance in the military, and either told to wield picks or allowed to choose their own weapons?

I believe that an item can't be both claimed as a weapon and used for civilian labors.  My guess at what happened is:

1 ) Your miners claimed all three picks for use as weapons, during a skirmish or training or while their mining labors were disabled or something.

2 ) They turned off their military AI, and tried to resume regular labors.

3 ) However, there were now no picks free, because they had been claimed as weapons.

4 ) So the miners had no reason to drop their military picks, because they couldn't find any free picks to use for civilian labors.

5 ) So even though they were carrying picks around, they couldn't mine, because those were their military picks, not their civilian picks.

6 ) Then you forged three iron picks.

7 ) Iron is better than copper, so your miners' military AI relinquished its claim on the copper picks, in order to upgrade to the iron ones.

8 ) But that meant the copper picks were free for civilian labor now, and your miners were in civilian mode!

9 ) So they let their new iron military picks get hauled to a stockpile, while they claimed those handy free copper picks that had suddenly appeared for use in their civilian labors.

10) So, even though they're still holding the same damn copper picks, those picks were now their civilian picks, so they could finally get on with the mining.
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Thisfox

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #6949 on: April 28, 2017, 10:20:32 pm »

I have no military. I haven't made one in this fort. There is no way they could have suddenly spontaneously decided they were military without a military ever existing in this (only two year old) fort. So that's unlikely.

I'm about to make one though, and no, I don't do generic weapons, I assign all weapons individually. Usually maces (I've had problems with undead before, and maces work a treat), but I'm considering spears. I've never assigned a pick as a weapon, and avoid assigning anyone who is a miner or hunter as a military person (fisherdorfs make good military though: They like the outdoors, and get training when they meet their first carp, alligator or bear) and in this fort, I have never assigned anyone as military, let alone my only miners.

Nope, my theory is that it was a crazy coincidence. And needs more science. But first I have to reproduce the dorfs not wanting to dig despite owning a pick...
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Mules gotta spleen. Dwarfs gotta eat.
Thisfox likes aquifers, olivine, Forgotten Beasts for their imagination, & dorfs for their stupidity. She prefers to consume gin & tonic. She absolutely detests Facebook.
"Urist McMason died out of pure spite to make you wonder why he was suddenly dead"
Oh god... Plump Helmet Man Mimes!

Nyxalinth

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #6950 on: May 13, 2017, 02:50:10 pm »

Dear UristMcDeadDorf,

Why in Armok's name did you punch that capybara? She was just ambling about the crafting area, minding her own adorable business. Yes, YOU started it. I looked at the combat records, and saw you punch her. She rightly defended herself. Poor thing got her nose cut off by one of your friends before she fled, though. Thankfully, I'm not in a reanimating biome, though I can't imagine what a severed nose would do. Sniff everyone to death?

No pity for you,

The overseer of Bronzegates
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Nyxalinth likes the color blue, gaming, writing, art, cats for their aloofness,  Transformers for their sentience and ability to transform, and the Constructicons for their hard work and building skills. Whenever possible, she prefers to consume bacon cheeseburgers and pinot noir. She absolutely detests stupid people.

Fish Preferred

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #6951 on: May 26, 2017, 08:53:25 am »

Dear morons:

While I applaud your dedication to proper hygine, running outside in the middle of a nightmarish toxic sludge rain to wash yourself in a sludge-laden pond is not an effective way of alleviating your sludge-induced fever or the mental scarring that accompanies it. It is, in fact, the source of the problem.
« Last Edit: May 28, 2017, 01:17:44 am by Fish Preferred »
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muldrake

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #6952 on: May 29, 2017, 06:18:39 pm »

Why are you idiots all upset that it's raining elf blood?  Shouldn't you love this?
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UselessMcMiner

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #6953 on: May 29, 2017, 08:51:55 pm »

Dear Urist

Please kill the dragon that is burninating my fortress rather then just standing twiddling your thumbs
because its to confusing to move through somehow?  :-\


Please and Thank you

Mr Mcminer
« Last Edit: May 30, 2017, 03:34:52 pm by UselessMcMiner »
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Quote
The scouts have been fighting a giant capuchin for the past month now. They still haven't killed it.

Obsidian 1053

The Sentries are still fighting the capuchin. For two monthes they have done nothing but punch this monkey.

LostKitten

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #6954 on: May 30, 2017, 12:51:58 pm »

Dear Urists

Due to recent events, a great many of you have now become weresloth suspects. When you are done bleeding and convulsing on the floor please clean up and report to the militia commander for interrogation. Questions may include your opinion of the Ice Age movies and your sudden fascination with shoots and leaves.

If the militia commander turns out to be a weresloth disregard this.

Friendly regards


« Last Edit: May 30, 2017, 12:54:43 pm by LostKitten »
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TheHossofMoss

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #6955 on: May 30, 2017, 03:50:39 pm »

Dear 1st wave immigrants,

Please do not give into despair upon seeing Keas, and climb up the several-story-high trees surrounding our developing fortress. Yes, they can pick up minecarts and fly away with them, but do understand that they won't mess with YOU if YOU don't mess with THEM.

Despite the glee that comes to our Lumberdwarf from cutting down the trees you are stuck in, you are making our resident doctor a nervous wreck, which makes ME nervous.

One could get the wrong idea about you all, considering how much "tree-hugging" you have done.

Sincerely,

Your Expedition Leader
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pikachu17

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #6956 on: May 31, 2017, 09:21:13 am »

Dear Urists

Due to recent events, a great many of you have now become weresloth suspects. When you are done bleeding and convulsing on the floor please clean up and report to the militia commander for interrogation. Questions may include your opinion of the Ice Age movies and your sudden fascination with shoots and leaves.

If the militia commander turns out to be a weresloth disregard this.

Friendly regards
Hey, we've always liked Ice Age movies, and have always been fascinated with shoots and leaves. This is not anything new. How dare you shoehorn us!
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Wahll

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #6957 on: June 01, 2017, 03:25:03 am »

To the haulers,

Please make sure to dump in the magma pool or the atom smasher every not mangled corpses marked by the overseer.
I know you think every body deserve to be entombed but having some zombies roaming the fortress is also unpleasant.

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TheVulture

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #6958 on: June 01, 2017, 04:48:46 pm »

dear beasts roaming the caverns

Dwarves are not for eating

yours truly
The overseeer
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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #6959 on: June 02, 2017, 12:56:08 am »

Dear Urist McMercenary,
When all the dwarves in your squad are retreating as ordered, it is not your cue to charge.
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