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Author Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves  (Read 1473314 times)

comicraider

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7065 on: December 09, 2017, 10:46:32 am »

Dear citizens of Skinnedseals;

STOP BREAKING THE MAGMA PUMPS. HOW ARE YOU EVEN DOING IT. WHATEVER YOU'VE DONE SINCE I'VE BEEN AWAY I CAN'T FIX IT, THE STACK KEEPS COLLAPSING AND NOW THE FORGES ARE USELESS.

Yours, Urist Emptyarmory
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Jazz Cat

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7066 on: December 09, 2017, 02:51:43 pm »

Dear Urist Emptyarmory,

Wait, did you not want the magma pumps to be these featherwood ones? But they're so well-made! I don't know why you're insisting on using the magma-safe ones when these have *enormous wooden corkscrews* in them.

Yours, Urist McFurnitureHauler
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Madman198237

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7067 on: December 09, 2017, 03:34:34 pm »

(Wooden pumps will not burned or be damaged even when pumping magma, this public service announcement brought to you by Urist McVeryOffendedPhysicist)
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bloop_bleep

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7068 on: December 09, 2017, 03:36:47 pm »

(Wooden pumps will not burned or be damaged even when pumping magma, this public service announcement brought to you by Urist McVeryOffendedPhysicist)

Wooden pumps will indeed eventually melt when pumping magma. It might not happen immediately, but it will happen. You may also be thinking of another version.
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Jazz Cat

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7069 on: December 09, 2017, 05:46:21 pm »

(Wooden pumps will not burned or be damaged even when pumping magma, this public service announcement brought to you by Urist McFloodsYourFortressWithMagma)

FTFY.

I can see the confusion, though, since wooden walls or other constructions won't take damage from magma. I think buildings are different, though? I know pumps need to be magma-safe, though.
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Madman198237

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7070 on: December 09, 2017, 06:36:20 pm »

Might be from the version I started playing with, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back when in 34.11...Last time I read the wiki anyway, wooden pumps would work fine with magma, because DWARF.
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Jazz Cat

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7071 on: December 10, 2017, 12:38:50 am »

The relevant text from the wiki page on screw pumps, just because I'm curious now:

Quote
In order to safely pump magma, you must use magma-safe materials, though magma-unsafe metals have been observed to be safe unless the open tile is going to be submerged in magma. Wooden parts (except for nether-caps) will burst into flames the instant the pump is activated, and magma-unsafe stone blocks melt after a short time.
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Give your dwarves a pet
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The check-laundry script

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Just give the Crossbow weapon the [AMMO:CROSSBOW] tag in the raws. You can make a crossbow that shoots crossbows.

Mentalpatient87

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7072 on: December 10, 2017, 03:51:19 pm »

Dear Mayor,

I know you like the above ground tavern. The crowd is lively. However, when the big door in the side of the tavern drops and the alarm bells go off, please proceed underground with the rest of the populace. You got lucky in that werelizard fight.
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4powerd

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7073 on: December 10, 2017, 06:03:22 pm »

To: nobles of "onslaughgranite"
subject: demands

It has come to my attention that the noble population has been making more and more impossible demands, while demands and mandates are perfectly acceptable among the nobles, the frequency of mandates and demands as well as the demands themselves have worn my patience severely, my masons, smiths and carpenters have had much of there precious time making your absurd demands. My limit, however, was reached when a "Thob Rawcrystals" baron of this fortress mandated the construction of a slade bed. this, of course is impossible. In response I have constructed multiply cages that have been scattered around the map, in the event that a similar absurd demand or mandate is made, the offender will be hauled to the nearest cage out there, walled up, and promptly forgotten has they slowly starve to death. you have been warned.

signed, your frustrated overseer
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TheKaspa

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7074 on: December 11, 2017, 03:51:31 am »

Dear Mc Overseer,

why did you kept postponing the building of defenses? Now we have an evil horde outside the outpost, and no defense set up.
And our militia is untrained and we have only ten bronze war axes and ten bronze shields, we are doomed!
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4powerd

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7075 on: December 11, 2017, 04:19:06 pm »

to: caged nobles of onslaughgranite
subject: cageyness

I warned you, I gave you all a chance, I even relented to the mayor's demand of a gold armor stand in his room when I had little gold left, but you have not relented with your absurd demands and mandates, hope that a siege comes to end your lives quickly, else you can look forward to slow death via starvation.

signed: your now laughing overseer
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Paralyzoid

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7076 on: December 11, 2017, 09:40:57 pm »

TO: Urist McMasonThePoet, Urist McMechanic the Bard
FROM: Para
SUBJECT: Time management

Dear Urist McMason and Urist McMechanic,

Just in case you were not warned by the trail of injured dwarves being carried through the tavern because of the failed danger room experiment, we may or may not need your services to make some more traction tables. I would appreciate it (and I believe the heavily armed military would too) if you spent some time on constructing another traction bench and making the necessary tables for it, instead of using your nonexistent poet skills on reciting poetry in the tavern. Look at Urist McCarpenter; now there's an example of setting your priorities straight.

Oh, and while we're at it, please stop interacting so much with the goblin beast hunter. You're making us worried.

Sincerely,

Paralyzoid
Senior Assistant of Armok
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billybobfred

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7077 on: December 11, 2017, 10:23:32 pm »

To: Urist McNewKing
Re: Mandates and demands

We just started this fort one year ago. This site does not have any bismuthinite, and our civilization sends no liaison on account of being dead -- which you should well know, seeing as its extinction is why you claimed the throne the moment we settled.

Bismuth bronze is not going to happen. Please. Ask for something else.

And quit whining about your insufficient accommodations! You've been a king for a single year! Work your way up!
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martinuzz

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7078 on: December 13, 2017, 08:13:53 am »

Whahaha I am dumb.

Dear Urist, could you not have warned me when I was editing my raws to make them more FPS friendly (remove FLIER tags), that I should do the insects too?
I thought they weren't nescessary, cause vermin doesn't path.

Embark on joyous wilds.

Map is full with Giant Monarchs, Fly men, and various other giant versions of the vermin.
Good thing you don't need a world regen to remove them (the flier tags, not the entire creature, that would mess things up I think) from the save raws.
« Last Edit: December 13, 2017, 09:11:00 am by martinuzz »
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Killermartian

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7079 on: December 17, 2017, 07:04:19 am »

Dear Urist
Could you refrain from jumping into the well? The signs are there for your safety.
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