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Author Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves  (Read 966634 times)

callisto8413

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7215 on: February 22, 2019, 07:29:56 pm »

Dear Townsfolk,

It is JUST rain.  Think of it as near-beer and get on with life.  And stop hitting the pigs.  I don't like it when my bacon is abused.

Lovingly,

Overseer.
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The most EVIL creature in Dwarf Fortress!

HMD Majesty

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7216 on: February 22, 2019, 10:01:54 pm »

To Whom It May Concern,

It has come to my attention that not only are you leaving buckets by the side of ponds, but you are also complaining that the buckets are being lost or destroyed.  I assure you, they are still intact and findable.

More problematically, I have noticed that you are taking it upon yourselves to dump all wool, skin, and hair.  It has gotten so bad that I have started habitually going through the dump when the spinners and leather workers complain that they are unable to do their jobs.  Please stop doing this, or I will find the person responsible and make them sleep outside.  Thank you.

By my hand,

HMD


To Whom It May Concern,

It has been revealed to me that the 'job item' that you were complaining about was in fact the pond zone.  Would it really have been so hard to tell me that the pond wasn't suitable?

By my hand,

HMD


To Inod Kiramost,

Not only are there unowned bedrooms just waiting for someone to lay claim to them, but I seem to recall seeing your name listed as a room owner.  You should not ever need to sleep anywhere there might be dangerous terrain.

Why did I receive notice that you were unable to sleep because of the terrain?

By my hand,

HMD
« Last Edit: February 23, 2019, 06:09:19 pm by HMD Majesty »
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TubaDragoness

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7217 on: February 24, 2019, 12:30:09 pm »

To Whom It May Concern,

It has come to my attention that not only are you leaving buckets by the side of ponds, but you are also complaining that the buckets are being lost or destroyed.  I assure you, they are still intact and findable.

More problematically, I have noticed that you are taking it upon yourselves to dump all wool, skin, and hair.  It has gotten so bad that I have started habitually going through the dump when the spinners and leather workers complain that they are unable to do their jobs.  Please stop doing this, or I will find the person responsible and make them sleep outside.  Thank you.

By my hand,

HMD

To Overseer HMD,

'T'ain't our fault for followin' standing orders, now, is it?  Maybe we should review those and see if them ink smudges were a'purpose or not.

Yrs,
Dabbling Hauler

(Check your (o)rders > (r)efuse menu and be sure that wool and skin are set to "save".)
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andrian

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7218 on: February 24, 2019, 07:08:20 pm »

To all dwarves of Flagcloudy,

I understand that it's still early days and I have yet to designate proper accommodations for you, but this sudden refusal to work will not fix the problem. If you wish to strike, please provide me with a list of demands, so that we can come to some agreement. Our supplies will not last forever, so unless you wish to die of starvation or insanity, I suggest you make some move toward resolving our differences so that the fortress can prosper.

Sincerely,
Your exasperated and very puzzled overlord

nezclaw

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7219 on: February 24, 2019, 10:02:08 pm »

To the survivors of Ochreransack.

If you would please do something about the corpses lying around that would be splendid. I know the recent changes to the stress system have been hard on you, but leaving bodies around to generate miasma isn't gonna help that any, ok?

By the way, would everyone bitten by a weretortoise please report to the hospital for quarantine?
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Dawnthunder: It menaces with spikes of tetanus
After the fire had burned down all of the wooden next boxes on the surface, Mottled Petrel was reluctant to replace them with more wooden nest boxes. Instead, he placed the remaining store of wooden nest boxes in the dormitory for any aspiring koopa mothers.

The nest boxes were immediately overrun by helmet snakes.

Deus Machina

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7220 on: March 13, 2019, 06:34:56 am »

Dear Urist McIdiotEngraver,
I don't know what your issue is, whether you think you dropped something (you didn't), or want to admire your carved fortification, that crappy floodgate, or the rough orthoclase walls, but if you continue to run up the filling well pipe until you get your head under water, get pushed down into the well, climb your bruised drowning self out, and repeat this, I won't be inclined to close the flow off.
I would have, but you're both learning to swim and being a big enough moron that I doubt it would be any major loss if you do drown.
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Quote from: KillerClowns
Beneath the slade, there is sheep. By all that his holy, there are so many sheep down there. I don't know why it's sheep.

Deus Machina

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7221 on: March 14, 2019, 02:41:55 am »

Dear forgotten beasts:
STOP.
The fortress isn't yet three years old and we've hosted seven of you. One of which roasted a jabberer and camped under the tree it set on fire until it collapsed and killed it, one got literally torn apart by wrestlers (a man made from mud, really?), the next killed the entire military and then got its skull caved in by a random spinner, another got unceremoniously eaten by a GCS, and the most threatening one got cocky in charging the resident bling ogres who didn't break a sweat beating it to death, and two just wandered off.
Seriously, give it a rest.
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Quote from: KillerClowns
Beneath the slade, there is sheep. By all that his holy, there are so many sheep down there. I don't know why it's sheep.

Kagus

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7222 on: March 14, 2019, 05:47:51 am »

the resident bling ogres
So, what is this, exactly? ICP: Insane Cavern Posse? "Fuckin' mushrooms, how do they work?"

M.C. Ogre, "Can't See This?"

MobRules

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7223 on: March 14, 2019, 09:59:35 am »

Dear Urist:

In addition to saving the lives of several civilians by buying them time to run inside, I am impressed by the positive attitude you maintained throughout.

Your tomb will reflect this.

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Ninja dragons! Protect the masterwork roasts!
Is this biome reanimating? I really don't want to know what happens when "absurd numbers of megabeasts" is combined with "reanimating biomes".

Deus Machina

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7224 on: March 15, 2019, 01:54:04 am »

the resident bling ogres
So, what is this, exactly? ICP: Insane Cavern Posse? "Fuckin' mushrooms, how do they work?"

M.C. Ogre, "Can't See This?"

Well, that was a typo (how my spellcheck doesn't catch 'bling' I haven't the foggiest), but now I'm choosing to believe the largest of them is wearing a polished forgotten beast skull on a chain.
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Quote from: KillerClowns
Beneath the slade, there is sheep. By all that his holy, there are so many sheep down there. I don't know why it's sheep.

Dunamisdeos

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7225 on: March 16, 2019, 12:11:50 pm »

the resident bling ogres
So, what is this, exactly? ICP: Insane Cavern Posse? "Fuckin' mushrooms, how do they work?"

M.C. Ogre, "Can't See This?"

Well, that was a typo (how my spellcheck doesn't catch 'bling' I haven't the foggiest), but now I'm choosing to believe the largest of them is wearing a polished forgotten beast skull on a chain.



He can't see anyway.
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FACT I: Post note art is best art.
FACT II: Dunamisdeos is a forum-certified wordsmith.
FACT III: "All life begins with Post-it notes and ends with Post-it notes. This is the truth! This is my belief!...At least for now."
FACT IV: SPEECHO THE TRUSTWORM IS YOUR FRIEND or BEHOLD: THE FRUIT ENGINE 3.0

Hengikjoptr

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7226 on: March 19, 2019, 01:56:17 pm »

the resident bling ogres
So, what is this, exactly? ICP: Insane Cavern Posse? "Fuckin' mushrooms, how do they work?"

M.C. Ogre, "Can't See This?"
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
"...I ain't a savior. I'm what you call a juggalo and all I want is my flavor. Four simple things in this ditch, before I die..."

Ahem... Couldn't resist. Now, back to memo'ing...

Dear Urists McMigrants,

Where is that goldern scroll you brought?!
I'm really interested in censoring whatever freaky fiction with 'The Dwarf, My Life' title you brought.

Sincerely,
Hengikjoptr the Unsure
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brotundbutter

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7227 on: March 20, 2019, 01:01:50 am »

Dear Urist McCarpenter,

I know starting a new fortress is exhausting work, and I know you're very tired after hauling everything in from the wagon, but if you could stay awake for five minutes and place the bed you just made, you could have a much better rest than if you just step out of your workshop and plop down in the dirt. I'm not saying you have to, but if you spend the next five years dwelling on how uncomfortable you were sleeping on the ground, I'm not going to be pleased.
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spazyak

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7228 on: March 20, 2019, 09:17:29 am »

Dear Legendary Mace Dwarf,
I get that you are stressed, I get that you are upset but can you please stop killing those in the clinic who have minor wounds. If you are going o bash anyone in the head, please, let it be a cripple and not someone who just needs a band-aid and a good rinse.
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GENERATION 31:
The first time you see this, copy it into your signature on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.
Ravioli Ravioli, the old broad died so now I play a Demon Loli.
Sig-texts!

Firebird766

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7229 on: March 22, 2019, 09:10:41 pm »

Dear Urist McMiners:

Yes, I've designated quite a large amount of terrain for you to dig. And I understand it might seem like a lot of work. But that is no excuse to dig one square, then go all the way to the stairs, down one floor, back so you can dig another square in the same general location but one floor down, only to go back up the squares to dig the square next to the one you originally dug.

I swear to Armok, I will throw the both of you in with the Doomed Migrant Squad and send you out to raid a necromancer tower if you keep this up.
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