Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: 1 ... 502 503 [504]

Author Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves  (Read 1518631 times)

sodafoutain

  • Bay Watcher
  • [PREFSTRING:incessant muttering]
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7545 on: August 21, 2023, 09:02:47 am »

To the Dwarves of Daggerbeers,

Regardless of the status of the ramps in the middle, you still have perfectly fine ramps on the sides. I can't believe that you allowed the miners to die of thirst because you were too afraid of the non-functional ramps to hazard the working ones. This is your fault!

Aggravatedly,
Overseer, who considered abandoning the second I designated a stockpile and none of your sorry asses started moving.
« Last Edit: August 21, 2023, 09:12:47 am by sodafoutain »
Logged
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.
Richard Stallman's Kind Communication Guidelines

dwarfisdumb

  • Escaped Lunatic
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7546 on: October 06, 2023, 04:40:53 am »

Dear dorfs of Bootglowed,

Can you all please stop complaining when I have you butcher cats and cavies, they HAVE to die or else the FPS will drop so low i will have to abandon all you idiots to fend for yourselves

-sincerely, your benevolent overlord
« Last Edit: October 06, 2023, 04:42:55 am by dwarfisdumb »
Logged

lazygun

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7547 on: November 05, 2023, 12:18:33 pm »

Dwarves of Sandboulders

Damnit guys! The crundles are 14 z levels above you! They are also terrified! They arenít going to climb down to hurt you, and you arenít going to climb up there either! Stop congregating on the ground below them, and stop climbing the walls of the volcanic vent. None of you made it higher than 1 z level (thank goodness otherwise the forge area would be full of dwarf gibs)

Ignore them! Stop cancelling jobs! Get a bloody drink!

Seriously, there is about a third of the fortress population milling around aimlessly. Serves me right for giving up on training marksdwarves.

Logged

dwarfisdumb

  • Escaped Lunatic
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7548 on: November 23, 2023, 03:53:44 am »

Dear Urist McLiason

WHY ARE YOU JUMPING IN THE MOAT LIKE AN IDIOT, I NEED YOU TO PROMOTE MY FORT

dissapointedly, your frustrated overseer
Logged

pganon

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7549 on: January 21, 2024, 05:47:22 am »

Dear Urist McTriggerhappy,

I have no idea how you got into this hole in the middle cavern. Luckily for you I noticed, and our miners are busy creating an escape route for you.

However, I find it overly dramatic of you that you're now "hunting for small creatures", considering that you are sitting on a pile of fresh crundle corpses that you presumably produced yourself.

Your king
Logged

Salsa Gal

  • Bay Watcher
  • Diggy diggy hole
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7550 on: March 15, 2024, 06:31:58 am »

Dear Urist McCameldestroyer

I asked you to kill this camel. Why/how did you geld it with your bare hands? On second thought I don't want to know, just don't do that again

Sincerely,
Your disconcerted queen

Urist_isnt_real

  • Escaped Lunatic
  • Time to flood the surface with magma
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7551 on: March 15, 2024, 12:09:09 pm »

Dwarves of Lashsyrups, please stop making the overseer mad:
-Urist McDepressed, for the love of Armok just go and pray to your four different gods of death and oblivion. Stop moping around in the tavern complaining you can't pray to your gods, or I'll have to make you emigrate to the fell mood factory. As building materials, of course!
-Urist Tangledaxe, stop dodging into the magma or trying to steal Bigsmears(TM). Stop selling us out to the goblins. Or I'm afraid I'll have to kick you out of the hospital next time you get a melted finger.
-Urist McMoody, stop making me useless crap. It's been 7 years and the only artifacts we have are finished goods and furniture. Yes, yes, I know you wanna make your bloody magnum opus, but at least make it something useful, or we'll sell it to the elves.
-To my dear doctors - put the soldiers' guts back in RIGHT NOW, or else. I don't care that you want to party, or recite poetry, or pray yourself to death in the temple. Do your jobs, or I'll toss you in the magma moat.
-To all foreign nobles coming to Lashsyrups, what is wrong with you? The last twelve of you were mauled by giant foxes. It's going to happen to the rest of you too, so just stay home.
-Urist McMiner, stop tossing your pick into the magma sea and pretending it's an accident. You saw what the hammerer did to the last moron who attempted that.
Logged
Urist McBrewer cancels Brew drink from plant: interrupted by drunken lunatic.
Urist McFisherdwarf cancels fish: interrupted by undead carp.
Urist McNoble cancels complain about room: in custody.
Urist McBaby cancels clean self: too insane.
LASHSYRUPS: Making goblin visitors our nobles since 289!
Pages: 1 ... 502 503 [504]