Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: 1 ... 229 230 [231] 232 233 ... 494

Author Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves  (Read 1067943 times)

Lielac

  • Bay Watcher
  • [ETHIC:PEDANTRY: PERSONAL_MATTER]
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3450 on: April 30, 2012, 04:32:31 am »

Dear dwarves of Wordshame,

Which of you is a friendless, skillless orphan?

Question totally unrelated to the checkerboard I'm creating in the deeps,
Overseer Lielac

P.S.: Hurry up with hooking the hatches to the magma lever!

Dear Overseer;

Don't forget to make sure there's an empty layer between the z-level with the top of the board (the one with all the floor grates) and the level the liquids are poured from.  It's a common mistake with the blueprints

Sincerely;

Engineering Consultant TAG.

Dear Engineering Consultant:

I copied your original blueprints as well as I could, including the z-level of empty space. Luckily the caverns gave me enough space to work, otherwise I might have accidentally removed that layer without knowing what it's for.

What is it for, anyway?

Thank you,
Overseer Lielac

Dear Kogan Noberith, Legendary Glassmaker:

Get to work please, those green glass grates won't create themselves!

Patiently,
Overseer Lielac
Logged


Lielac likes adamantine, magnetite, marble, the color olive green, battle axes, cats for their aloofness, dragons for their terrible majesty, women for their beauty, and the Oxford comma for its disambiguating properties. When possible, she prefers to consume pear cider and nectarines. She absolutely detests kobolds.

ThatAussieGuy

  • Bay Watcher
  • King of the HFS & only man to win v0.31.25
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3451 on: April 30, 2012, 05:05:12 am »

Dear dwarves of Wordshame,

Which of you is a friendless, skillless orphan?

Question totally unrelated to the checkerboard I'm creating in the deeps,
Overseer Lielac

P.S.: Hurry up with hooking the hatches to the magma lever!

Dear Overseer;

Don't forget to make sure there's an empty layer between the z-level with the top of the board (the one with all the floor grates) and the level the liquids are poured from.  It's a common mistake with the blueprints

Sincerely;

Engineering Consultant TAG.

Dear Engineering Consultant:

I copied your original blueprints as well as I could, including the z-level of empty space. Luckily the caverns gave me enough space to work, otherwise I might have accidentally removed that layer without knowing what it's for.

What is it for, anyway?

Thank you,
Overseer Lielac

Dear Kogan Noberith, Legendary Glassmaker:

Get to work please, those green glass grates won't create themselves!

Patiently,
Overseer Lielac

Liquids pool on the top of the gameboard.  The extra z-level gives you leeway in case they mix in a pattern that blocks the flow of either in any way.  It's largely redundant and mostly a safe-than-sorry thing.

Sincerely; Engineering Consultant TAG

Lielac

  • Bay Watcher
  • [ETHIC:PEDANTRY: PERSONAL_MATTER]
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3452 on: April 30, 2012, 05:11:51 am »

Spoiler: snip quote pyramid (click to show/hide)

Liquids pool on the top of the gameboard.  The extra z-level gives you leeway in case they mix in a pattern that blocks the flow of either in any way.  It's largely redundant and mostly a safe-than-sorry thing.

Sincerely; Engineering Consultant TAG

Ah. Thank you for explaining.

Sincerely,
Overseer Lielac


Dear lyemaker(s),

Oi! The soapers are complaining about not having any lye, stop sitting on your beard(s) and get working!

Dear swarm of mechanics,

Hurry up with hooking the hatches to the magma lever!

Thank you,
Overseer Lielac
Logged


Lielac likes adamantine, magnetite, marble, the color olive green, battle axes, cats for their aloofness, dragons for their terrible majesty, women for their beauty, and the Oxford comma for its disambiguating properties. When possible, she prefers to consume pear cider and nectarines. She absolutely detests kobolds.
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3453 on: April 30, 2012, 05:33:20 am »

Dear Fisherdwarves,

In the name of Zurkul the Orange of Blossoms and all that is Holy, would you PLEASE, only fish in the area I designated instead of falling to your death at the bottom of the waterfall?!

There are already 12 bodies and 10 ghosts at the bottom of the waterfall freaking people out; I don't need you clogging it up even more!

Very Disappointed,
The Guy Who Watches You From Above.
Logged

ThatAussieGuy

  • Bay Watcher
  • King of the HFS & only man to win v0.31.25
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3454 on: April 30, 2012, 06:35:11 am »

To the Dwarves of Stafffilled;

Work faster.  I want that working model of the new project finished and ready for testing.  NOW!

Sincerely;  The OverlordSeer

Count Dorku

  • Bay Watcher
  • Sounds Fun
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3455 on: May 01, 2012, 03:56:32 am »

Dear Recoverer of Wounded:

None are more impressed than I in your recent deed of picking up no less than three wounded warriors simultaneously after that ambush and carrying them to the hospital. But why in the name of all that's holy did you simply drop two of them on the floor and leave them there?

And while we're at it, dear medical system, why were those two wounded dwarves sitting in beds earlier not counted as patients?

Yours sincerely,
Overseer Dorku
Logged
"when in doubt, Magma"

Miners are diggin out nicely, everything will go right, i hope. hell, what am i even saying? this is dwarf fortress. it wont go right.

tahujdt

  • Bay Watcher
  • The token conservative
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3456 on: May 01, 2012, 06:59:46 pm »

Dear Hiver McChemist, please start purifing water now, before we're out.
 
 Dear Hivers McEverybody,  CAVE SPORES ARE NOT FOR EATING!!!!!!!!!!
 (warhammer 40k mod, raw cave spores have a syndrome which gives fevers and other nasty stuff.)
Logged
DFBT the Dwarf: The only community podcast for Dwarf Fortress!
Tahu-R-TOA-1, Troubleshooter
Quote
I suggest that we add a clause permitting the keelhauling of anyone who suggests a plan involving "zombify the crew".
Quote from: MNII
Friend Computer, can you repair the known universe, please?

Lagslayer

  • Bay Watcher
  • stand-up philosopher
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3457 on: May 01, 2012, 07:16:05 pm »

Dear Recoverer of Wounded:

None are more impressed than I in your recent deed of picking up no less than three wounded warriors simultaneously after that ambush and carrying them to the hospital. But why in the name of all that's holy did you simply drop two of them on the floor and leave them there?

And while we're at it, dear medical system, why were those two wounded dwarves sitting in beds earlier not counted as patients?

Yours sincerely,
Overseer Dorku
Please, share your Fun! with us!

GreatWyrmGold

  • Bay Watcher
  • Sane, by the local standards.
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3458 on: May 01, 2012, 08:01:41 pm »

Dear Worldgen,

This is in regards to my fine fortress that I am running currently.

Why is cavern layer two located roughly at level 8, cavern layer 3 is at roughly level -10 and I didn't hit SMR until level -23?
I seriously would like to have a good source of magma around here somewhere, hopefully i will find it, but I don't have much hope for that. Anyway, when genning a random world, volcanoes are very welcome.

The one that tells you what to do, (to an extent)
Krg

FYI, if you mean z-level whatever, that's shallow. Most worlds are over 100 z-levels deep by the time they reach magma.
Logged
Sig
Are you a GM with players who haven't posted? TheDelinquent Players Help will have Bay12 give you an action!
[GreatWyrmGold] gets a little crown. May it forever be his mark of Cain; let no one argue pointless subjects with him lest they receive the same.

WaffleEggnog

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3459 on: May 01, 2012, 10:59:15 pm »

Dear Urist McSockhoarder, if your going to kill your family over a lack of socks, please don't complain about it after. I'm sure you will survive without your socks, as for your family..... Yours truly,  Thatdudeuhate
Logged
WHEN POSSIBLE, I PREFER TO CONSUME YOUR FACE.

WillowLuman

  • Bay Watcher
  • Life is weird
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3460 on: May 02, 2012, 12:34:47 am »

Dear Kobolds,

It appears that, if a lever is positioned correctly, and so is a drawbridge, you are a self-solving problem. Your stupidity and mischief has shown me that my dreams of a suicide booth for you guys, gremlins, and other cheeky creatures can be a reality. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

-A proud new inventor, off to sell this to the Mountainhome.
Logged
Dwarf Souls: Prepare to Mine
Keep Me Safe - A Girl and Her Computer (Illustrated Game)
Darkest Garden - Illustrated game. - What mysteries lie in the abandoned dark?

Garath

  • Bay Watcher
  • Helping to deforest the world
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3461 on: May 02, 2012, 02:40:17 am »

Is it me or are people getting less frustrated with dwarves lately? I see fewer posts about dwarves, and fewer that are about actual frustrations
Logged
Quote from: Urist Imiknorris
Jam a door with its corpse and let all the goblins in. Hey, nobody said it had to be a weapon against your enemies.
Quote from: Frogwarrior
And then everyone melted.

Count Dorku

  • Bay Watcher
  • Sounds Fun
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3462 on: May 02, 2012, 02:49:05 am »

Dear Recoverer of Wounded:

None are more impressed than I in your recent deed of picking up no less than three wounded warriors simultaneously after that ambush and carrying them to the hospital. But why in the name of all that's holy did you simply drop two of them on the floor and leave them there?

And while we're at it, dear medical system, why were those two wounded dwarves sitting in beds earlier not counted as patients?

Yours sincerely,
Overseer Dorku
Please, share your Fun! with us!

Pretty much what it says: following a moment of stupidity in which I failed to close the roof over my dining room when I was attacked by a massive goblin siege, six of my dwarves were rushed to the infirmary. Four of them were classed as patients and looked after. Two of them were not. Two of them were left to rot, and nothing I could do, not even deconstructing the beds, not even removing the squares they were in from the hospital, would get them to be classed as wounded and moved to a bed to rest. One of them died of dehydration; the other, fortunately, recovered in time to sulk for a long time and yell at my baron (his wife's death during the fighting didn't help, admittedly).

Fortunately, the two idiots dropped on the floor were eventually scooped up and classified as patients, and will hopefully make a full recovery sometime soon.
Logged
"when in doubt, Magma"

Miners are diggin out nicely, everything will go right, i hope. hell, what am i even saying? this is dwarf fortress. it wont go right.

Sus

  • Bay Watcher
  • For ‼SCIENCE‼!
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3463 on: May 02, 2012, 05:04:39 am »

Dear Engravers,

We have trashed multiple goblin sieges, a goddamn dragon and half a dozen Forgotten Beasts.
Yet you adamantly refuse to engrave any of our epic battles, instead preferring subject matter like flies, tall crosses or approximately eleventy thousand and one piss-poor imitations of that one epic picture of a plump helmet? Look, I know it's supposed to be the symbol of our government and all that, but enough is enough.
Also, the pictures of elves brutally dismembering dwarves in some ancient battle or another are not helping our trade relations, and frankly, I find them all kinds of disturbing. Please stop with those.

-Your Embarrassed Overseer

P.S. On a related note: the next moron to get a mood and then make a bloody artifact tower-cap earring or any useless crap like that will find himself assigned to the "Punishment Zone" burrow, conveniently located above the 6-z drop onto some lovely menacing spikes, permanently. I might even pull the lever myself. Oh, and to the guy who got a macabre mood and made a damn rat bone bracelet: You are the lamest goth wannabe ever. Your friends face agonizing deaths and you "honor" their memory with this, this ...trinket?! Really, stop rubbing your wrists with that Xxpalm training swordxX and do something useful, for the Gods' sakes!
« Last Edit: May 02, 2012, 05:08:39 am by Sus »
Logged
Certainly you could argue that DF is a lot like The Sims, only... you know... with more vomit and decapitation.
If you launch a wooden mine cart towards the ocean at a sufficient speed, you can have your entire dwarf sail away in an ark.

Lagslayer

  • Bay Watcher
  • stand-up philosopher
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3464 on: May 02, 2012, 07:02:15 am »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
Oh, nevermind. Read it as "three hundred". Not nearly as epic, now.
Pages: 1 ... 229 230 [231] 232 233 ... 494