Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: 1 ... 231 232 [233] 234 235 ... 504

Author Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves  (Read 1473235 times)

Reudh

  • Bay Watcher
  • Perge scelus mihi diem perficias.
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3480 on: May 03, 2012, 08:55:56 pm »

I play vanilla. VANILLA vanilla.

Also, I can't get rid of them because everyone is related to everyone. :P

A child had his brother murdered by his great-uncle (vampire), and is staying at Content from "Was pleased to see a family member brought to justice recently."

Sus

  • Bay Watcher
  • For ‼SCIENCE‼!
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3481 on: May 03, 2012, 09:57:30 pm »

Dear Urist McPumpSlave,

You see that second part of your name? The bit that says "slave"? That means your job is to operate that Armok-damned pump until you keel over from exhaustion and drown in the river you were supposed to drain, allowing Urist McBackup to replace you. This is your sole purpose in life. Every moment of your existence should be focused on operating your pump, to drain the river so the masons can plug the thing up and suffocate the Giant Sponge nest downstream. Your sole purpose.

This means you are not allowed to attend, much less organize, parties during dam-building hours.
Dear Boss,

Can't hear you, On Break

so, up yours.

-That's Urist McPumpOperator for you.

:P
Logged
Certainly you could argue that DF is a lot like The Sims, only... you know... with more vomit and decapitation.
If you launch a wooden mine cart towards the ocean at a sufficient speed, you can have your entire dwarf sail away in an ark.

Corai

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3482 on: May 03, 2012, 09:58:27 pm »

Dear Urist McPumpSlave,

You see that second part of your name? The bit that says "slave"? That means your job is to operate that Armok-damned pump until you keel over from exhaustion and drown in the river you were supposed to drain, allowing Urist McBackup to replace you. This is your sole purpose in life. Every moment of your existence should be focused on operating your pump, to drain the river so the masons can plug the thing up and suffocate the Giant Sponge nest downstream. Your sole purpose.

This means you are not allowed to attend, much less organize, parties during dam-building hours.
Dear Boss,

Can't hear you, On Break

so, up yours.

-That's Urist McPumpOperator for you.

:P

Dear Overseer,

I can take care of your little, rebellious slave, for a cost......

Love, shifty Kobold.
Logged
Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

Count Dorku

  • Bay Watcher
  • Sounds Fun
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3483 on: May 03, 2012, 10:00:46 pm »

Dear Urist McPumpSlave,

You see that second part of your name? The bit that says "slave"? That means your job is to operate that Armok-damned pump until you keel over from exhaustion and drown in the river you were supposed to drain, allowing Urist McBackup to replace you. This is your sole purpose in life. Every moment of your existence should be focused on operating your pump, to drain the river so the masons can plug the thing up and suffocate the Giant Sponge nest downstream. Your sole purpose.

This means you are not allowed to attend, much less organize, parties during dam-building hours.
Dear Boss,

Can't hear you, On Break

so, up yours.

-That's Urist McPumpOperator for you.

:P

Dear Overseer,

I can take care of your little, rebellious slave, for a cost......

Love, shifty Kobold.

Dear Overseer,

I'll do it for free.

Yours sincerely, Angry, Fire-Breathing Forgotten Beast von Collateral Damage
Logged
"when in doubt, Magma"

Miners are diggin out nicely, everything will go right, i hope. hell, what am i even saying? this is dwarf fortress. it wont go right.

Corai

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3484 on: May 03, 2012, 10:01:37 pm »

Dear Urist McPumpSlave,

You see that second part of your name? The bit that says "slave"? That means your job is to operate that Armok-damned pump until you keel over from exhaustion and drown in the river you were supposed to drain, allowing Urist McBackup to replace you. This is your sole purpose in life. Every moment of your existence should be focused on operating your pump, to drain the river so the masons can plug the thing up and suffocate the Giant Sponge nest downstream. Your sole purpose.

This means you are not allowed to attend, much less organize, parties during dam-building hours.
Dear Boss,

Can't hear you, On Break

so, up yours.

-That's Urist McPumpOperator for you.

:P

Dear Overseer,

I can take care of your little, rebellious slave, for a cost......

Love, shifty Kobold.

Dear Overseer,

I'll do it for free.

Yours sincerely, Angry, Fire-Breathing Forgotten Beast von Collateral Damage

Dear Overseer,

I can do it brutally, instead of it quickly, which that thing lacks.....

Love, Jack the Kobold.
Logged
Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

Sus

  • Bay Watcher
  • For ‼SCIENCE‼!
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3485 on: May 03, 2012, 10:06:51 pm »

Dear Urist McMoody,

So, a bone mace?
Well, kind of OK I guess...  :-\

Wrapping it in bands of sheep wool cloth, of all things, however?
Not a winning idea.

- 'Sus' Facepalmed, your nonplussed Overseer
Logged
Certainly you could argue that DF is a lot like The Sims, only... you know... with more vomit and decapitation.
If you launch a wooden mine cart towards the ocean at a sufficient speed, you can have your entire dwarf sail away in an ark.

Corai

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3486 on: May 03, 2012, 10:08:21 pm »

Dear Urist McMoody,

So, a bone mace?
Well, kind of OK I guess...  :-\

Wrapping it in bands of sheep wool cloth, of all things, however?
Not a winning idea.

- 'Sus' Facepalmed, your nonplussed Overseer

Atleast you got something useful, I got a-

1.Wooden Blowgun, with hanging rings of cloth.
2.Stone Scepter, with rough gems.
3.A dog/yak bone hammer.


Rage

Love, Corai, the almighty kobold overseer. Kiss Kiss.
Logged
Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

FlickerFly

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3487 on: May 03, 2012, 10:28:55 pm »

Dear Ex-Possessed Metalcrafter,
Did you have to make that mini-forge out of adamantine?
Because I had planned on using it for something else.
Hate,
-Me.
Logged
If I were you, I'd do exactly the same thing as you would, because I'd be you.
</inactivity>

Keldor

  • Bay Watcher
  • Blood for the blood god!
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3488 on: May 03, 2012, 10:59:50 pm »

Dear Urist McMoody,

So, a bone mace?
Well, kind of OK I guess...  :-\

Wrapping it in bands of sheep wool cloth, of all things, however?
Not a winning idea.

- 'Sus' Facepalmed, your nonplussed Overseer

That end's the handle, ye dolt!  Keeps it from jarring' yet hands off when ye knock th' block off a bronze colossus.

-Urist McMoody
Logged
If ignorance is bliss, why are my dwarves all tantruming?

MechaGodzilla

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3489 on: May 03, 2012, 11:02:24 pm »

Dear Children of Gravesaber-

We understand you do not like to be naked.
We understand you do not like to be shoe-less.
We understand you sometimes you get angry and punch a certain Legendary Weaponsmith in the guts, making him stop working to vomit on his forge. Repeatedly.

This behavior will no longer be tolerated.
You are right next to the clothes pile- Put some damn clothes on or you will be relieved of duty.

Permanently.

We mean it,
-The Overseer

P.S. Yes. Go ahead and tantrum all you want. Our local axemen would love the practice.
Logged

WillowLuman

  • Bay Watcher
  • They/Them Life is weird
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3490 on: May 04, 2012, 12:35:31 am »

Dear Urist McMoody,

So, a bone mace?
Well, kind of OK I guess...  :-\

Wrapping it in bands of sheep wool cloth, of all things, however?
Not a winning idea.

- 'Sus' Facepalmed, your nonplussed Overseer

Sure as hell beats a freaking soap shield
Logged
Dwarf Souls: Prepare to Mine
Keep Me Safe - A Girl and Her Computer (Illustrated Game)
Darkest Garden - Illustrated game. - What mysteries lie in the abandoned dark?

kaenneth

  • Bay Watcher
  • Catching fish
    • View Profile
    • Terrible Web Site
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3491 on: May 04, 2012, 12:56:35 am »

Dear Urist McPumpSlave,

You see that second part of your name? The bit that says "slave"? That means your job is to operate that Armok-damned pump until you keel over from exhaustion and drown in the river you were supposed to drain, allowing Urist McBackup to replace you. This is your sole purpose in life. Every moment of your existence should be focused on operating your pump, to drain the river so the masons can plug the thing up and suffocate the Giant Sponge nest downstream. Your sole purpose.

This means you are not allowed to attend, much less organize, parties during dam-building hours.
Dear Boss,

Can't hear you, On Break

so, up yours.

-That's Urist McPumpOperator for you.

:P

Dear Overseer,

I can take care of your little, rebellious slave, for a cost......

Love, shifty Kobold.

Dear Overseer,

I'll do it for free.

Yours sincerely, Angry, Fire-Breathing Forgotten Beast von Collateral Damage

Dear Overseer,

I can do it brutally, instead of it quickly, which that thing lacks.....

Love, Jack the Kobold.

Dear Overseer,

I will solve ALL problems.

Singeingly Yours, MAGMA
Logged
Quote from: Karnewarrior
Jeeze. Any time I want to be sigged I may as well just post in this thread.
Quote from: Darvi
That is an application of trigonometry that never occurred to me.
Quote from: PTTG??
I'm getting cake.
Don't tell anyone that you can see their shadows. If they hear you telling anyone, if you let them know that you know of them, they will get you.

Reudh

  • Bay Watcher
  • Perge scelus mihi diem perficias.
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3492 on: May 04, 2012, 04:58:08 am »

To the dwarves of Sabreheals:

Why are you dying of dehydration? We have a working well, as well as some meager stores of alcohol. It's not as if there is nothing to drink. We have a brewer working to fix the alcohol flow problem too.

medikohl

  • Bay Watcher
  • Goblins are a good building material
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3493 on: May 04, 2012, 05:41:28 am »

Dear Urist McPumpSlave,

You see that second part of your name? The bit that says "slave"? That means your job is to operate that Armok-damned pump until you keel over from exhaustion and drown in the river you were supposed to drain, allowing Urist McBackup to replace you. This is your sole purpose in life. Every moment of your existence should be focused on operating your pump, to drain the river so the masons can plug the thing up and suffocate the Giant Sponge nest downstream. Your sole purpose.

This means you are not allowed to attend, much less organize, parties during dam-building hours.
Dear Boss,

Can't hear you, On Break

so, up yours.

-That's Urist McPumpOperator for you.

:P

Dear Overseer,

I can take care of your little, rebellious slave, for a cost......

Love, shifty Kobold.

Dear Overseer,

I'll do it for free.

Yours sincerely, Angry, Fire-Breathing Forgotten Beast von Collateral Damage

Dear Overseer,

I can do it brutally, instead of it quickly, which that thing lacks.....

Love, Jack the Kobold.

Dear Overseer,

I will solve ALL problems.

Singeingly Yours, MAGMA
Legal summons to court for UristMcPumpslave,

I can't prove you're a vampire.
Doesn't matter.
-the hammerer
Logged
I can imagine a bunch of  monks making a pilgrimage to a holy mountain, only to discover that it isn't there anymore.

Sus

  • Bay Watcher
  • For ‼SCIENCE‼!
    • View Profile
Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3494 on: May 04, 2012, 05:45:25 am »

Dear Urist McMoody,

So, a bone mace?
Well, kind of OK I guess...  :-\

Wrapping it in bands of sheep wool cloth, of all things, however?
Not a winning idea.

- 'Sus' Facepalmed, your nonplussed Overseer

That end's the handle, ye dolt!  Keeps it from jarring' yet hands off when ye knock th' block off a bronze colossus.

-Urist McMoody

...might want to consider putting all these menacing spikes on the head of the mace, then. I mean, sure, they improve the grip, but having a three-inch-long shard of aventurine jutting through your palm is kind of inconvenient.
Logged
Certainly you could argue that DF is a lot like The Sims, only... you know... with more vomit and decapitation.
If you launch a wooden mine cart towards the ocean at a sufficient speed, you can have your entire dwarf sail away in an ark.
Pages: 1 ... 231 232 [233] 234 235 ... 504