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Author Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves  (Read 966187 times)

Reudh

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3480 on: May 03, 2012, 08:55:56 pm »

I play vanilla. VANILLA vanilla.

Also, I can't get rid of them because everyone is related to everyone. :P

A child had his brother murdered by his great-uncle (vampire), and is staying at Content from "Was pleased to see a family member brought to justice recently."

Sus

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3481 on: May 03, 2012, 09:57:30 pm »

Dear Urist McPumpSlave,

You see that second part of your name? The bit that says "slave"? That means your job is to operate that Armok-damned pump until you keel over from exhaustion and drown in the river you were supposed to drain, allowing Urist McBackup to replace you. This is your sole purpose in life. Every moment of your existence should be focused on operating your pump, to drain the river so the masons can plug the thing up and suffocate the Giant Sponge nest downstream. Your sole purpose.

This means you are not allowed to attend, much less organize, parties during dam-building hours.
Dear Boss,

Can't hear you, On Break

so, up yours.

-That's Urist McPumpOperator for you.

:P
Logged
Certainly you could argue that DF is a lot like The Sims, only... you know... with more vomit and decapitation.
If you launch a wooden mine cart towards the ocean at a sufficient speed, you can have your entire dwarf sail away in an ark.

Corai

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3482 on: May 03, 2012, 09:58:27 pm »

Dear Urist McPumpSlave,

You see that second part of your name? The bit that says "slave"? That means your job is to operate that Armok-damned pump until you keel over from exhaustion and drown in the river you were supposed to drain, allowing Urist McBackup to replace you. This is your sole purpose in life. Every moment of your existence should be focused on operating your pump, to drain the river so the masons can plug the thing up and suffocate the Giant Sponge nest downstream. Your sole purpose.

This means you are not allowed to attend, much less organize, parties during dam-building hours.
Dear Boss,

Can't hear you, On Break

so, up yours.

-That's Urist McPumpOperator for you.

:P

Dear Overseer,

I can take care of your little, rebellious slave, for a cost......

Love, shifty Kobold.
Logged
Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

Count Dorku

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3483 on: May 03, 2012, 10:00:46 pm »

Dear Urist McPumpSlave,

You see that second part of your name? The bit that says "slave"? That means your job is to operate that Armok-damned pump until you keel over from exhaustion and drown in the river you were supposed to drain, allowing Urist McBackup to replace you. This is your sole purpose in life. Every moment of your existence should be focused on operating your pump, to drain the river so the masons can plug the thing up and suffocate the Giant Sponge nest downstream. Your sole purpose.

This means you are not allowed to attend, much less organize, parties during dam-building hours.
Dear Boss,

Can't hear you, On Break

so, up yours.

-That's Urist McPumpOperator for you.

:P

Dear Overseer,

I can take care of your little, rebellious slave, for a cost......

Love, shifty Kobold.

Dear Overseer,

I'll do it for free.

Yours sincerely, Angry, Fire-Breathing Forgotten Beast von Collateral Damage
Logged
"when in doubt, Magma"

Miners are diggin out nicely, everything will go right, i hope. hell, what am i even saying? this is dwarf fortress. it wont go right.

Corai

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3484 on: May 03, 2012, 10:01:37 pm »

Dear Urist McPumpSlave,

You see that second part of your name? The bit that says "slave"? That means your job is to operate that Armok-damned pump until you keel over from exhaustion and drown in the river you were supposed to drain, allowing Urist McBackup to replace you. This is your sole purpose in life. Every moment of your existence should be focused on operating your pump, to drain the river so the masons can plug the thing up and suffocate the Giant Sponge nest downstream. Your sole purpose.

This means you are not allowed to attend, much less organize, parties during dam-building hours.
Dear Boss,

Can't hear you, On Break

so, up yours.

-That's Urist McPumpOperator for you.

:P

Dear Overseer,

I can take care of your little, rebellious slave, for a cost......

Love, shifty Kobold.

Dear Overseer,

I'll do it for free.

Yours sincerely, Angry, Fire-Breathing Forgotten Beast von Collateral Damage

Dear Overseer,

I can do it brutally, instead of it quickly, which that thing lacks.....

Love, Jack the Kobold.
Logged
Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

Sus

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3485 on: May 03, 2012, 10:06:51 pm »

Dear Urist McMoody,

So, a bone mace?
Well, kind of OK I guess...  :-\

Wrapping it in bands of sheep wool cloth, of all things, however?
Not a winning idea.

- 'Sus' Facepalmed, your nonplussed Overseer
Logged
Certainly you could argue that DF is a lot like The Sims, only... you know... with more vomit and decapitation.
If you launch a wooden mine cart towards the ocean at a sufficient speed, you can have your entire dwarf sail away in an ark.

Corai

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3486 on: May 03, 2012, 10:08:21 pm »

Dear Urist McMoody,

So, a bone mace?
Well, kind of OK I guess...  :-\

Wrapping it in bands of sheep wool cloth, of all things, however?
Not a winning idea.

- 'Sus' Facepalmed, your nonplussed Overseer

Atleast you got something useful, I got a-

1.Wooden Blowgun, with hanging rings of cloth.
2.Stone Scepter, with rough gems.
3.A dog/yak bone hammer.


Rage

Love, Corai, the almighty kobold overseer. Kiss Kiss.
Logged
Jacob/Lee: you have a heart made of fluffy
Jeykab/Bee: how the fuck do you live your daily life corai
Jeykab/Bee: you seem like the person who constantly has mini heart attacks because cuuuute

FlickerFly

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3487 on: May 03, 2012, 10:28:55 pm »

Dear Ex-Possessed Metalcrafter,
Did you have to make that mini-forge out of adamantine?
Because I had planned on using it for something else.
Hate,
-Me.
Logged
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Keldor

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3488 on: May 03, 2012, 10:59:50 pm »

Dear Urist McMoody,

So, a bone mace?
Well, kind of OK I guess...  :-\

Wrapping it in bands of sheep wool cloth, of all things, however?
Not a winning idea.

- 'Sus' Facepalmed, your nonplussed Overseer

That end's the handle, ye dolt!  Keeps it from jarring' yet hands off when ye knock th' block off a bronze colossus.

-Urist McMoody
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If ignorance is bliss, why are my dwarves all tantruming?

MechaGodzilla

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3489 on: May 03, 2012, 11:02:24 pm »

Dear Children of Gravesaber-

We understand you do not like to be naked.
We understand you do not like to be shoe-less.
We understand you sometimes you get angry and punch a certain Legendary Weaponsmith in the guts, making him stop working to vomit on his forge. Repeatedly.

This behavior will no longer be tolerated.
You are right next to the clothes pile- Put some damn clothes on or you will be relieved of duty.

Permanently.

We mean it,
-The Overseer

P.S. Yes. Go ahead and tantrum all you want. Our local axemen would love the practice.
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WillowLuman

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3490 on: May 04, 2012, 12:35:31 am »

Dear Urist McMoody,

So, a bone mace?
Well, kind of OK I guess...  :-\

Wrapping it in bands of sheep wool cloth, of all things, however?
Not a winning idea.

- 'Sus' Facepalmed, your nonplussed Overseer

Sure as hell beats a freaking soap shield
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kaenneth

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3491 on: May 04, 2012, 12:56:35 am »

Dear Urist McPumpSlave,

You see that second part of your name? The bit that says "slave"? That means your job is to operate that Armok-damned pump until you keel over from exhaustion and drown in the river you were supposed to drain, allowing Urist McBackup to replace you. This is your sole purpose in life. Every moment of your existence should be focused on operating your pump, to drain the river so the masons can plug the thing up and suffocate the Giant Sponge nest downstream. Your sole purpose.

This means you are not allowed to attend, much less organize, parties during dam-building hours.
Dear Boss,

Can't hear you, On Break

so, up yours.

-That's Urist McPumpOperator for you.

:P

Dear Overseer,

I can take care of your little, rebellious slave, for a cost......

Love, shifty Kobold.

Dear Overseer,

I'll do it for free.

Yours sincerely, Angry, Fire-Breathing Forgotten Beast von Collateral Damage

Dear Overseer,

I can do it brutally, instead of it quickly, which that thing lacks.....

Love, Jack the Kobold.

Dear Overseer,

I will solve ALL problems.

Singeingly Yours, MAGMA
Logged
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Reudh

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3492 on: May 04, 2012, 04:58:08 am »

To the dwarves of Sabreheals:

Why are you dying of dehydration? We have a working well, as well as some meager stores of alcohol. It's not as if there is nothing to drink. We have a brewer working to fix the alcohol flow problem too.

medikohl

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3493 on: May 04, 2012, 05:41:28 am »

Dear Urist McPumpSlave,

You see that second part of your name? The bit that says "slave"? That means your job is to operate that Armok-damned pump until you keel over from exhaustion and drown in the river you were supposed to drain, allowing Urist McBackup to replace you. This is your sole purpose in life. Every moment of your existence should be focused on operating your pump, to drain the river so the masons can plug the thing up and suffocate the Giant Sponge nest downstream. Your sole purpose.

This means you are not allowed to attend, much less organize, parties during dam-building hours.
Dear Boss,

Can't hear you, On Break

so, up yours.

-That's Urist McPumpOperator for you.

:P

Dear Overseer,

I can take care of your little, rebellious slave, for a cost......

Love, shifty Kobold.

Dear Overseer,

I'll do it for free.

Yours sincerely, Angry, Fire-Breathing Forgotten Beast von Collateral Damage

Dear Overseer,

I can do it brutally, instead of it quickly, which that thing lacks.....

Love, Jack the Kobold.

Dear Overseer,

I will solve ALL problems.

Singeingly Yours, MAGMA
Legal summons to court for UristMcPumpslave,

I can't prove you're a vampire.
Doesn't matter.
-the hammerer
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Sus

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #3494 on: May 04, 2012, 05:45:25 am »

Dear Urist McMoody,

So, a bone mace?
Well, kind of OK I guess...  :-\

Wrapping it in bands of sheep wool cloth, of all things, however?
Not a winning idea.

- 'Sus' Facepalmed, your nonplussed Overseer

That end's the handle, ye dolt!  Keeps it from jarring' yet hands off when ye knock th' block off a bronze colossus.

-Urist McMoody

...might want to consider putting all these menacing spikes on the head of the mace, then. I mean, sure, they improve the grip, but having a three-inch-long shard of aventurine jutting through your palm is kind of inconvenient.
Logged
Certainly you could argue that DF is a lot like The Sims, only... you know... with more vomit and decapitation.
If you launch a wooden mine cart towards the ocean at a sufficient speed, you can have your entire dwarf sail away in an ark.
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