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Author Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves  (Read 1492268 times)

smirk

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4830 on: March 17, 2013, 05:34:09 pm »

Dear Expedition Leader

Congratulations on the name you chose for our expedition on the one time I decided not to hit random a few times and just went with whatever it would be. No, I'm genuinely impressed. "The Roof of Women" is sure to impress the nearby dwarven settlements and draw in migrant waves like crazy.

Son, I am proud.

You do realize what this means, yes? Every above-ground part of your fort needs a ceiling of clear glass o_0
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When i think of toady i think of a toad hopping arround on a keyboard
also
he should stay out of the light it will dry out his skin
his moist amphibian skin
.

Lida_Brainbroken

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4831 on: March 17, 2013, 08:54:46 pm »

Dear Expedition Leader

Congratulations on the name you chose for our expedition on the one time I decided not to hit random a few times and just went with whatever it would be. No, I'm genuinely impressed. "The Roof of Women" is sure to impress the nearby dwarven settlements and draw in migrant waves like crazy.

Son, I am proud.
You do realize what this means, yes? Every above-ground part of your fort needs a ceiling of clear glass o_0
All you woman need to be burrowed there, too.  Better make lots of crossbows.
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She was on her way to the booze stockpile for a drink and got interrupted by the wyvern. It is not wise to stand between a grumpy senior and her booze.

Ianflow

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4832 on: March 18, 2013, 01:31:15 am »

Dear Expedition Leader

Congratulations on the name you chose for our expedition on the one time I decided not to hit random a few times and just went with whatever it would be. No, I'm genuinely impressed. "The Roof of Women" is sure to impress the nearby dwarven settlements and draw in migrant waves like crazy.

Son, I am proud.

You do realize what this means, yes? Every above-ground part of your fort needs a ceiling of clear glass o_0

Are you desiring to break the glass ceiling?
Y/N

Dear Urist McFarmerandAdequateBeekeeperDwarf,
It says you are installing a new colony, which I enjoy you doing.
However, you are clearly standing in the middle of a field, nowhere near our hives, prone to the elements, happy as can be, next to the refuse stockpile that could power a nation with its miasma via turbines.
Once I relieve you of beekeeping duties, you leave that spot. This spot, is the exact same spot any dwarf like you who is assigned to keep bees, goes to. It shall be henceforth referred to as the Elfen Square of Idiocy, and any dwarf installing a hive caught there will promptly be dropped via retracting drawbridge into a fire imp infested room.
That was a lie, since I am too lazy to waste time on such trivial matters, you will just be beat across the face with a flying lungfish.

-With Sympathy To Your Idiocy,
The Overlord
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And thus, "The running of the goblins" became an annual tradition and the first dwarven contraceptive.
There are no moghoppers. We have always been allies of Oceania, and at war with Eastasia.

weenog

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4833 on: March 18, 2013, 01:35:13 am »

Dear Overlord,

Bees are hard to find.  I just go back to where bees were found before, hoping they've made a new nest there.

Sorry,
Urist McFarmerandAdequateBeekeeperDwarf



Beekeeping is currently bugged.  Beekeepers trying to install colonies in hives can't keep track of where wild hives have been destroyed, or where new ones have spawned.  Consequently they will tend to go back to empty pointless areas looking for bees that used to be there, but have long since passed.  There's not a whole lot that can be done about it right now, which is sad (I like bee keeping... animal taming too), but don't hold it personally against the dwarf.
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Listen up: making a thing a ‼thing‼ doesn't make it more awesome or extreme.  It simply indicates the thing is on fire.  Get it right or look like a silly poser.

It's useful to keep a ‼torch‼ handy.

Necrisha

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4834 on: March 18, 2013, 01:46:21 am »

Quote
There's not a whole lot that can be done about it right now, which is sad (I like bee keeping... animal taming too), but don't hold it personally against the dwarf.

Aside from building a 3x3 wall where they keep going- yes not a whole lot.

Dear. Urist McMasons,

We are in a terrifying biome! If you don't buil-

Dear Husks,

Nevermind.
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EDIT: Keas restricted to tropical forests where they belong.  Those evil, EVIL, foul little things.
 
Edit: The baby murderer became a friend of the fortress, which started a loyalty cascade, and now most of the squad is dead.

Ianflow

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4835 on: March 18, 2013, 02:27:37 am »

Dear Overlord,
Bees are hard to find.  I just go back to where bees were found before, hoping they've made a new nest there.
Sorry,
Urist McFarmerandAdequateBeekeeperDwarf

Beekeeping is currently bugged.  Beekeepers trying to install colonies in hives can't keep track of where wild hives have been destroyed, or where new ones have spawned.  Consequently they will tend to go back to empty pointless areas looking for bees that used to be there, but have long since passed.  There's not a whole lot that can be done about it right now, which is sad (I like bee keeping... animal taming too), but don't hold it personally against the dwarf.

I swear there was never a bee's nest there. When I started out, it was the first refuse pile. Then again, you're probably right that there was one there before haha
I love beekeeping now, I mean, the beekeeper dwarves used to be as worthless to me as the cheese makers

Quote
There's not a whole lot that can be done about it right now, which is sad (I like bee keeping... animal taming too), but don't hold it personally against the dwarf.
Aside from building a 3x3 wall where they keep going- yes not a whole lot.

I assume this would just cause job cancellation

What I can do is deassign the beekeeper and reassign them
It just takes micromanagement
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And thus, "The running of the goblins" became an annual tradition and the first dwarven contraceptive.
There are no moghoppers. We have always been allies of Oceania, and at war with Eastasia.

Necrisha

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4836 on: March 18, 2013, 02:31:21 am »

I've tried it and as long as you've completed the wall or cave in while all your beekeepers have that labor turned off it doesn't cause cancellation spam once you turn it back on. The fun part is when they find a new bee-less location to sit on like their trying to work.
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EDIT: Keas restricted to tropical forests where they belong.  Those evil, EVIL, foul little things.
 
Edit: The baby murderer became a friend of the fortress, which started a loyalty cascade, and now most of the squad is dead.

Bhargo

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4837 on: March 18, 2013, 04:22:09 am »

Dear Urist McJewelcrafter,
   While I am happy you are doing some masterwork gem encrusting, please stop doing it to the mechanisms and buckets. There is a statue stockpile right next to you.
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weenog

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4838 on: March 18, 2013, 04:54:39 am »

Dear Urist McJewelcrafter,
   While I am happy you are doing some masterwork gem encrusting, please stop doing it to the mechanisms and buckets. There is a statue stockpile right next to you.

Set up stockpiles that allow only what you want encrusted (don't forget stockpiles for jewels to cut or attach, also) and link them to the jeweller's workshop.  The workshop will take only from them.
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Listen up: making a thing a ‼thing‼ doesn't make it more awesome or extreme.  It simply indicates the thing is on fire.  Get it right or look like a silly poser.

It's useful to keep a ‼torch‼ handy.

Larix

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4839 on: March 18, 2013, 05:58:08 am »

Dear Overlord,

Bees are hard to find.  I just go back to where bees were found before, hoping they've made a new nest there.

Sorry,
Urist McFarmerandAdequateBeekeeperDwarf



Beekeeping is currently bugged.  Beekeepers trying to install colonies in hives can't keep track of where wild hives have been destroyed, or where new ones have spawned.

I've edited that into the wiki - the coding entity that causes the hiccup isn't the beekeeper but the hive requesting a new colony: most commonly, two hives request the same colony installed, either a wild colony or one from an occupied and 'ready to split' hive. The problem is that the 'loser' who doesn't get the colony won't ever cancel the job but rather sends a dwarf to the source location, trying to find a colony where none exists, without error messages or anything. The on-spot fix is to remove the job _from the building_, the hive which requests the colony. This can be done either by demolishing the hive, or (much shorter and easier) by toggling the 'c' setting of the offending hive, letting the game run for a few seconds, and toggling 'install colony when ready' back on. To find which hive causes the problem, scroll through the 'j'obs list, select the stuck beekeeper's job and zoom to 'b'uilding. This is the location where the colony is expected to be installed.

This is my chosen method of dealing with it, and it has worked flawlessly so far. I regularly produce mead and export something like two hundred wax crafts per year in bee-heavy forts.
Running into this problem without prior knowledge is massively irritating. I very nearly gave up on bees at the time.
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Spacespinner

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4840 on: March 18, 2013, 07:48:06 am »

Dear Expedition Leader

Congratulations on the name you chose for our expedition on the one time I decided not to hit random a few times and just went with whatever it would be. No, I'm genuinely impressed. "The Roof of Women" is sure to impress the nearby dwarven settlements and draw in migrant waves like crazy.

Son, I am proud.
You do realize what this means, yes? Every above-ground part of your fort needs a ceiling of clear glass o_0
All you woman need to be burrowed there, too.  Better make lots of crossbows.

Dear Fortress Guard.

I realise we're called the "Roof of Women", but I disapprove of you using that as an excuse for the squad name.
The Granite Growths
The Oily Surprise
The Wild Oars
The Open Gates
The Solitary Gorges

...Getting real tired of your shit master Urist
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Most people's relationship with Dwarf Fortress is akin to Stockholm Syndrome.

tahujdt

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4841 on: March 18, 2013, 12:08:21 pm »

Dear Pony McArcaneScientist,
Thank you so much for successfully analyzing the spell matrices of Enclave-model power armor. Now, if you could have reverse engineered the actual armor plating, that would be just ducky.

Yours, an overseer who wants his sniping squad to have really cool black power armor.
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Markus

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4842 on: March 19, 2013, 12:06:13 pm »

Dear medical staff.

STOP KILLING EVERYONE I SEND TO THE HOSPITAL.










That is all.
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McDonald

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4843 on: March 22, 2013, 11:52:21 am »

Dear Titan,

Why you are called Usasp Strapsfrothed "the Ugly Vomit"? It doesn't look good in my military kill list.

Signed
ROTFLing Overseer

-----------------------------------

Dear Swordmaster,

After killing five nobles invaders, you earned a title. But why did you call yourself "the Thruthful Finder of Forks"? At least you didn't call yourself the Ugly Vomit...

Signed
Confused Overseer

(PS. Just signed up to post it! Hello everyone :)))
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Slayerhero90

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4844 on: March 22, 2013, 07:44:53 pm »

Dear Carpenters,

Pay no heed to the animal men and get back to raising the town hall. We've got two competent axedwarves and a competent swordsdwarf murdering them to death with their hands. What you need to do is get the roof and floor and walls built.
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