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Author Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves  (Read 1473126 times)

Andux

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4905 on: April 13, 2013, 12:04:25 am »

war elephants

I am now imagining an elephant war memorial, with a large plaque that reads: NEVER FORGET
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hiroshi42

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4906 on: April 13, 2013, 01:23:17 am »

I think the bigger question is why physics has allowed Elephants to have armor and siege your fort anyway. But I'm going to guess you only have yourself to blame for that.

Part of fortress defense mod.  I only have the War Elephants installed and apparently they are allowed mounts, unless I tinkered with them at some point.
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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4907 on: April 13, 2013, 07:30:11 am »

war elephants

I am now imagining an elephant war memorial, with a large plaque that reads: NEVER FORGET
I believe we have that, only it's called Boatmurdered.
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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4908 on: April 13, 2013, 10:51:55 am »

war elephants

I am now imagining an elephant war memorial, with a large plaque that reads: NEVER FORGET
I believe we have that, only it's called Boatmurdered.
-cackles-
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MrSparky

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4909 on: April 14, 2013, 02:12:08 pm »

Dear Hunters
Why do you keep shooting the carp? You know damn well you can't retrieve them. Thanks to you we have a river filled with fish carcasses and bolts we can't collect without stopping the flow. I know they're terrifying and the memory of how they used to be haunts your dreams, but when the necromancers come they'll be something even scarier and all your ammo will be in the water.
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Flarp

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4910 on: April 14, 2013, 08:25:01 pm »

Dear Hunters,

Yes, I am aware you have hunted most surface wildlife in Gateday to extinction. There are more productive ways to deal with this than loudly shouting you can't find a path to anything to kill until I draft you into the military.

Unrelated Memorandum: All dwarves skilled in handling a crossbow are to report to the central barracks immediately. Having bad thoughts about conscription is grounds for redelegation to the Magma Pump Stack guard.
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Giver99

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4911 on: April 15, 2013, 10:16:46 am »

Dear urist mcrandom


i know you love the arena fights and i know you want some first hand experience but please was it really necessary to go into the arena to talk to your friend Urist mclegendaryaxedwarf right before the giantess got released to fight?
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Drazinononda

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4912 on: April 15, 2013, 06:11:11 pm »

Dear dwarves of Archrewards:

I know that perhaps I am to blame for our problem here; that perhaps I shouldn't have supplied you with a grand hall to dine in and a separate bedroom for each and every dwarf; that the safety of the fortified stone walls and the promise of wondrous growth have enticed you beyond your ability to resist.

That said, I can not accept responsibility for the rampant overpopulation of the fort. I set the population cap, and it was not to be surpassed; yet you spread the word and invited anyone with an ear to come to the fort. You continued to send invitations even once the cap had been passed. We are now running low on booze and two thirds of you are sleeping in a bunkhouse across from the dining hall.

While you wait -- quite patiently, mind you -- for the expansion to catch up with the population growth, please refrain from spreading undue rumors of the wealth and grandiose of the fort.

Sincerely,
The Overseer
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GreatWyrmGold

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4913 on: April 15, 2013, 08:02:51 pm »

Dear Titan,

Why you are called Usasp Strapsfrothed "the Ugly Vomit"? It doesn't look good in my military kill list.

Signed
ROTFLing Overseer
I cause people to vomit and it's quite ugly. What?
Sincerely,
Usasp.

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Dear Swordmaster,

After killing five nobles invaders, you earned a title. But why did you call yourself "the Thruthful Finder of Forks"? At least you didn't call yourself the Ugly Vomit...

Signed
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They're calling me WHAT?
Sincerely,
Swordmaster.
P.S. Five invaders and finding cutlery is the most notable thing the fortress can think of me?

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(PS. Just signed up to post it! Hello everyone :)))
Welcome!

On a side note. Dear Undead Fun, where are you?...
Not all evil biomes are alike. Some raise the dead and make husks, and some rain blood and house knuckle worms.

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4914 on: April 16, 2013, 01:46:59 am »

On a side note. Dear Undead Fun, where are you?...
Not all evil biomes are alike. Some raise the dead and make husks, and some rain blood and house knuckle worms.

Or in my lone successful one, with roving instadeath ash.

Splint

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4915 on: April 16, 2013, 03:55:43 am »

Or rain blood and are menaced by... Roving groups of capybaras happily swimming the local ponds and weasels.

Spearbreakers' evil biome was indeed a humorous disappointment.

Lolfail0009

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4916 on: April 16, 2013, 04:55:24 am »

Or rain blood and are menaced by... Roving groups of capybaras happily swimming the local ponds and weasels.

Spearbreakers' evil biome was indeed a humorous disappointment.
Didn't we lose like three militiants to capybara?

gbrngfol

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4917 on: April 17, 2013, 10:09:26 pm »

Or rain blood and are menaced by... Roving groups of capybaras happily swimming the local ponds and weasels.

Spearbreakers' evil biome was indeed a humorous disappointment.
Didn't we lose like three militiants to capybara?

yeah , capybara are actually quite tough. So far they've killed one guard dog and injured the other. Also, they've stolen about 50% of my bolts. (They do this by getting shot, then wondering off the map.)
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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4918 on: April 17, 2013, 10:24:42 pm »

Roving groups of capybaras happily swimming the local ponds and weasels.

Capybaras swimming in weasels?

 :o
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Safe-Keeper

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #4919 on: April 18, 2013, 08:26:10 am »

NOTICE
All dwarves in Gleebell

Dear everyone,
When beak dogs attack and the drawbridge is up, I will get right on lowering it so you can get in. Just stand right outside and wait. Do not go to sleep right outside the drawbridge. They will eat you.

Sincerely,
Safe-Keeper
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