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Author Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves  (Read 965652 times)

Tovical

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5025 on: June 19, 2013, 06:35:41 pm »

lol No, as a matter of fact, I did not. I don't glance through combat logs often, but just happened to catch this one. Two lines: one about latching onto the poor creature with his teeth, the next about a severed body part flying off in an arc. Gotta love combat logs :D
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Akura

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5026 on: June 19, 2013, 07:38:11 pm »

Vampirism doesn't create a preference to bite attacks. It's just a normal, if uncommon occurence.

Sometimes during combat, one particular attack/location combo will be flagged as being a "simple hit"(as observed in Adventurer mode) even if other attacks on the location are impossible. It is one of these attacks that will be performed if the attack is targeted automatically(ie, in Fortress Mode).
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Quote
They asked me how well I understood theoretical physics. I told them I had a theoretical degree in physics. They said welcome aboard.
... Yes, the hugs are for everyone.  No stabbing, though.  Just hugs.

Gamerlord

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5027 on: June 19, 2013, 10:46:45 pm »

Dear Orc Ronin,

I DO NOT CARE ABOUT YOUR BLINDNESS. If ALL of your friends and coworkers are screaming and yelling about a kobold thief, if you are between said thief and the exit, I expect you to attack it!

Sincerely,
That Voice In The Sky

Tovical

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5028 on: June 20, 2013, 06:26:16 pm »

Dear Urist McJeweler,

Hopefully you'll notice this note slipped in between the cracks of the walls behind which you're now trapped. I am tempted to apologize for ordering you to build that workshop in a place where you would then be walled in. Thankfully you haven't succumbed to hunger or thirst before I noticed your predicament. However, I cannot apologize since you probably should have realized the mistake as you were constructing the workshop and made a decision other than to blindly follow my orders to the letter. Speaking of letters, this one is to inform you that I've taken pity on your situation (only because of our mutual stupidity) and you are given permission to disassemble the workshop, afterwhich we will talk about placing it in a more suitable location. As I said, I expected better of you, therefore we might also talk about who might make a good appointee for the position of Hammerer when the time comes, and about retroactive sentencing.


Your Newb Overlord
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WanderingKid

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5029 on: June 22, 2013, 11:05:03 pm »

Dear Urist McBaby,

I realize you're just an infant and don't have your proper alcohol to blood ratios right yet, but I'm confused.  When that goblin came by during the invasion (and probable fall due to tantrum spiral) of Copperways and smacked you one... why did you choose to attack the cat?

Sincerely,

Your very confused overseer...

Urist McSpardbane

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5030 on: June 23, 2013, 08:43:26 am »

Dear Dwarfy Bastards,

Stop bitching, this is a brand new expedition into uncharted lands. There are no masterwork beds or legendary meals, so stop getting sad. Start working and stop trying to party with the cat that Urist McDoofus stole from that last batch of Migrants in the makeshift dining hall.

Much Love,

Urist McSpardbane
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Iceflame

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5031 on: June 24, 2013, 05:29:33 am »

Dear UristMcMarksdwarf,

you got a quiver, bolts and a nice steel crossbow. Use them.

Sincerely,
your Overseer

P.S.: Using the crossbow does not mean 'run down the walls, go outside and punch the goblin with the crossbow in its face'. You may have killed him, but you also lost your left arm. Well done.
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ArchAIngel

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5032 on: June 25, 2013, 04:23:33 pm »

Dear UristMcKing.
Please, keep up the good work with requests. Ordering three maces just before a migrant wave comes, with three macedwarves in it? Useful. Also, your love of bolts is a great help for keeping my 32 marksdwarves loaded up with shots. Also, what did you do to piss off the goblins? They sent eight "snatchers" that all went right for you. Admittedly, you killed them all by facepunching the first, then using his knife to murder the rest, but still, I want to know what you did.
Sincerely and happily, Your overseer.

skyte100

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5033 on: June 25, 2013, 04:46:50 pm »

Dear Urist,
Why is both your king and kingdom named Urist?
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Lalasa

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5034 on: June 25, 2013, 09:50:09 pm »

Dear Baroness,
I'm sorry that a table for your dining room could not be constructed out of pike teeth.  I understand that pike teeth are small, shiny, and fishy.  However, I do not have any pike teeth and even then there would never been a way to craft them into a table under normal circumstances.  Also, you were jealous of the mayor's rooms.  I understand that the mayor is lower than you, but the mayor is also the Queen.  Of course she's have a nicer room than you.  And considering these small details destroyed your mental state, you really were unfit to be the baroness anyway.  I hope you remember that you were useless peasant at first and I liberated you from your lowly trash position.
Sincerely,
Your Overseer
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Urist MacNoob

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5035 on: June 29, 2013, 09:59:26 pm »

Dear Urist McKid,

I understand that you've got pants but no shirt and that you have a nice rack and don't like the other kids and dwarves see it and that because they are seeing it and because goblins shot mommy and your brother you are sad. In fact, I kind of pity you. I liked your mother. I watched her grow as a dwarf from the moment she arrived in the rock salt city of Helmedglow.

That's why we're having this conversation. If you attack and destroy another workshop-- I don't know how you did it, but if you do it again, there will be consequences, young lady. They say that if you fall down the stairs and land on a cage trap it will spring, despite the fact that you are a dwarf, and that the elves will be more than willing to buy you as a pet. Does the prospect horrify you? It certainly should. Now run along and put on mommy's socks and your brother's shirt. They don't need them any more. I'm glad we had this talk and we won't have it again.
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Coldmonkey: "The idea that having flaming tools and introducing them to the intimate workings of someone you don't get along with is much too human for these forums. I mean, it's not really that hard, is it? Anyone can wield a torch, it doesn't prove anything. Wearing flaming clothes on the other hand, or better yet, wearing nothing at all and being on fire... that is the essence of dwarfish behavior."

Merendel

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5036 on: June 30, 2013, 02:10:12 am »

Dear Urist McChild.
I know you are inquisitive and love exploring and opening doors for no good reason but opening the access door to the magma piston's lava chamber as its being filled is not a bright idea.  Or rather you'll be very bright for the few ticks it takes for you to incinerate completely.

Your overseer who is investing in better locks.
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xana55

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5037 on: June 30, 2013, 08:28:14 pm »

Dear Marksdwarf squad "The walls of Bejeweling"

I expected you to shoot the forgotten beast not beat it to death so you could avoid it's horrible breath that causes dwarfs to rot alive. That being said given you managed to beat it to death, drown it in it's own boiling extract and block every breath it spewed at you I'm giving you a pass on this one. I'm officially impressed with you.

From the overseer
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Urist The Foolish: Beheaded by a swarm of cats 379 BC.

InfinityOrNone

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5038 on: June 30, 2013, 08:51:00 pm »

Dear Urist McCrazypants

Adamantine is for swords, not hammers.

Yours truly, Armok
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Larix

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #5039 on: July 01, 2013, 04:16:45 am »

Lies, filthy lies! Adamantine is for socks!
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