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Author Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves  (Read 1473224 times)

Shockwave07

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7245 on: April 18, 2019, 03:39:08 pm »

Dwarves of the Coast,

I realize I might not be the best at providing goods for you yet, but if you must hunt vermin, please do not form conga lines through the stockpiles!

Spread out and find your own vermin to catch...

Again,

A mysterious voice in your heads.
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The first time you see this, copy it into your signature on any forum and add 1 to the generation. Social experiment.

brewer bob

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7246 on: April 21, 2019, 07:06:14 am »

Dear Horses,

I know you like to hide and think it's funny, but please stop climbing up the citron trees. You know perfectly well that you can't find your way down from there, and will starve to death. Despite what you may think, I am not planning to murder you, though, I might change my mind soon, since my sensitive fruit gathering dwarf was spooked by your skeletal remains.

Signed, your not-at-all-amused Overseer

Craftsdwarf boi

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7247 on: April 24, 2019, 02:43:59 am »

Dear Urist Mcfarmboy(s)
Please stop planting plump helmets due to our seed shortage.
Signed,
an unknown entity
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DEATH THO THE THE IGNOBLE NOBLES
Come and amuse oneself the Game of Skirmishes and Transpiration!
...and Engine Heart!
"It was inevitable"----Urist Mcphilosopher
"Losing is !!FUN!!"-----Pretty much every forum member
"#Proletariatinsurrection"-----Every Non-noble dwarf when under rule by nobility

Imic

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7248 on: April 27, 2019, 02:49:54 am »

Dear Urist.
COOK THE FUCKING FOOD YOU ABSOLUTE PILLOCK!
Yours, Imic.
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Naturegirl1999

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7249 on: May 06, 2019, 10:09:52 am »

Dear Urnst

If you need surgery, please remain in the hospital. Please do not cancel your surgery

Dear surgeon
Do the surgeries on those who need it, you have a hospital to work at now
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pikachu17

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7250 on: May 06, 2019, 11:48:52 am »

Dear Urist Mcfarmboy(s)
Please stop planting plump helmets due to our seed shortage.
Signed,
an unknown entity
You want them to not plant them, because you don't have plump helmet spawn? Or are you saying you want them to plant seeds you don't have much of?
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Craftsdwarf boi

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7251 on: May 07, 2019, 09:44:41 pm »

Since I then did not know that one is able to produce seeds by brewing, there was a seed shortage and they still attempted to plant them.
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DEATH THO THE THE IGNOBLE NOBLES
Come and amuse oneself the Game of Skirmishes and Transpiration!
...and Engine Heart!
"It was inevitable"----Urist Mcphilosopher
"Losing is !!FUN!!"-----Pretty much every forum member
"#Proletariatinsurrection"-----Every Non-noble dwarf when under rule by nobility

Splint

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7252 on: May 07, 2019, 09:58:21 pm »

Dear Urist McBabyCarrier

Just because the armored militia is swarming around the corner to kill that wearbeast does not make it okay to render that 4 year old's sacrifice void by risking you and your infant's unarmored lives by trying to "help" kill it. Just take your kid and run. it's not that hard, especially not when someone else's kid was brave enough to slow it down so you could get to safety. You only got in the militia's way it was only blind luck that the axe recruit took the thing's head off before it could bite you or your daughter.

Signed, overseer.

TD1

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7253 on: May 10, 2019, 08:48:14 am »

But the fact is that there is a difference between trying to save a child and killing a child simply because you have reason to suspect that they may be involved in some wrongdoing. You do not have to kill children out of pity. We are in great danger from our own government, and for your family to be harmed while you are in some trouble because they had no idea you might be in some trouble is disgusting

Just a generator, nothing to see here.
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Dunamisdeos

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7254 on: May 10, 2019, 06:44:34 pm »

I asked that talk to text generator thingamajig to generate a note to Urist by giving it "Dear Urist" as a base. It was surprisingly DF-appropriate.

Quote
Dear Urist"

I guess you're right. It's a bit embarrassing, but I don't want to be known as the man who didn't think twice about posting a picture of our heads.
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FACT II: Dunamisdeos is a forum-certified wordsmith.
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JEB Davis

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7255 on: May 10, 2019, 09:28:37 pm »

Dear all Urist McDorfs in the military,

Please wear the metal footwear as prescribed by your uniform.

Thank you.

(yes, I know this is a known issue)
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《monty》

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7256 on: May 11, 2019, 03:18:48 am »

Queen Urist von Armorstand III,



When this stockpile is full I am dropping you and and your collection into the volcano.
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Superdorf

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7257 on: May 11, 2019, 09:21:49 am »

Ahhahaha. Spoken like a true Bay12er... but why kill her off? You'll just get another mandating monarch in replacement, no?
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《monty》

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7258 on: May 11, 2019, 02:26:42 pm »

Ahhahaha. Spoken like a true Bay12er... but why kill her off? You'll just get another mandating monarch in replacement, no?

I just need one who likes menacing spikes and nothing else. So I guess Vlad the Impaler is the ideal DF monarch.
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Deus Machina

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7259 on: May 12, 2019, 07:38:01 pm »

I dunno, I'm usually pretty happy with the ones that like shields, or hammers, or swords.
Had a military that kept equipped with shields solely because of one baron's military spending plan.
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