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Author Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves  (Read 1473371 times)

GPeter

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7260 on: June 13, 2019, 04:04:30 pm »

If a Monarch asks for weapons and Shields, I always imagine him like a warlike dwarf preparing for battle, while if he(she) asks for useless stuff like armor stands, I kindly force them to swim in the orange juice pool, AKA Armok's Blood.
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Yeah, there's plenty of information out there, but you don't need that information to form an opinion and then defend it to the death.
Hey, don't be like that. Your life never had any meaning in the first place!

SpaceMetal

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7261 on: June 23, 2019, 09:58:09 am »

Dear Urist McPolytheist:

Yes, I know you're worried about "not being able to pray to Limul." Well, there's a temple to Limul right down the hall, but you just stick around where you are praying to one of the other four gods you worship even though you're unfettered after praying to that one.

Armok - and all the other gods - help those who help themselves.

- Yr benevolent overlord
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SpaceMetal likes silver, sapphire, alpaca wool yarn, maple trees for their autumn coloration, and cats for their aloofness. When possible, she prefers to consume cow cheese, goat cheese, cherries, and wine. She absolutely detests bats.

Superdorf

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7262 on: June 23, 2019, 11:01:39 pm »

From what I've heard, polytheists can get "stuck" worshipping in the same dedicated temple, giving reverence to the same god over and over again. Try replacing your dedicated temples with a single generic one? Supposedly that helps.
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Falling angel met the rising ape, and the sound it made was

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nezclaw

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7263 on: June 27, 2019, 01:40:10 am »

To the medical dwarves of Rakedtreaty:
You have had Mr Crystalgrowl on the operating table for well over a year. Why in Armok's name have you not patched him up? You have all the materials, RIGHT??
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
(i do have another dorf with the surgeon labor enabled but they're not very good at it. only novice tier)
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Dawnthunder: It menaces with spikes of tetanus
After the fire had burned down all of the wooden next boxes on the surface, Mottled Petrel was reluctant to replace them with more wooden nest boxes. Instead, he placed the remaining store of wooden nest boxes in the dormitory for any aspiring koopa mothers.

The nest boxes were immediately overrun by helmet snakes.

Codyrex123

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7264 on: June 28, 2019, 02:22:23 pm »

Dear everydwarf of the fortress Bilwidger,

You had to build one segment of wall to keep the besiegers out when they arrived, everything else was taken care of, but no, you just HAD to keep using it like a door. Even after I had restricted you to a burrow in attempt to get it prioritized, and then after that failed, screwed with every single dwarf's orders to construct, you still insisted on no job or hauling rocks and logs around. Well, take a look at the fortress now, burning from the inside by their magma spewing lizards! Now all that wood you so desperately hauled inside while refusing to seal it up is burning and filling the fortress with smoke. Oh, and we had a chance to fight them off with a few more months of training our marksdwarves too. Lets not forget that they stole only one of our masterworks before leaving us alone, the very least you could have done after failing so catastrophically is seal the entrance behind them so that they wouldn't of ever gotten away with one of our artifacts!
So you know what? You can be the pathway to your own doom, even more so then this, I'll just order the most loyal, dumb dwarf to open the input tunnel and close the output channel and let the fortress flood with all of you inside, at least its sealed now so we won't ruin the countryside with your corpses and water.
-Dis-pleasantly
        A very vengeful overseer
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Naturegirl1999

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7265 on: June 28, 2019, 04:09:05 pm »

and later historians, 200 years later, wonder why a fortress flooded seemingly from the inside, why a dwarf would flood everyone including himself
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Large Wereroach

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7266 on: June 30, 2019, 06:52:39 am »

Note to Planter Urist McExclamationmarkwielder: The Magma Crab that shooed you off the Magma Forge is dead and disposed of for well over a week. The place is safe now. No need to hang around in a far-away corner one level above anymore. It's true, no joke - the crab is dead, I promise. Please return to finish whatever required bones, gems, gems, gems, gems and copper bars...
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bloop_bleep

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7267 on: July 01, 2019, 12:28:14 pm »

Unfortunately, as soon as a strange mood dwarf loses the workshop he claimed, the strange mood will end immediately and the dwarf will go insane. That exclamation mark means something else now, I’m afraid.
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Zagskrag

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7268 on: July 01, 2019, 04:00:55 pm »

Note to my legendary axe dwarves:
I know you love those copper battle axes, but for Armok's sake just switch over to steel already, we need you to do something else than just kick every goblin besieger's teeth in!
« Last Edit: July 01, 2019, 06:11:22 pm by Zagskrag »
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IncompetentFortressMaker

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7269 on: July 02, 2019, 12:13:58 pm »

Note to Ast Urdimkol, "Ast Towerwheel", Miner (skill: professional) of Zelerlitast, "Primetorch" (outpost):
You could have built that river bridge a more efficient way, you know. You wouldn't have had your fat melted then. Rest In Peace... idiot.
(He died due to having his fat melted off his body, presumably bled to death. While trying to build a bridge the least efficient way possible. Embark is in a scorching biome.)

Naturegirl1999

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7270 on: July 02, 2019, 01:12:59 pm »

Note to Ast Urdimkol, "Ast Towerwheel", Miner (skill: professional) of Zelerlitast, "Primetorch" (outpost):
You could have built that river bridge a more efficient way, you know. You wouldn't have had your fat melted then. Rest In Peace... idiot.
(He died due to having his fat melted off his body, presumably bled to death. While trying to build a bridge the least efficient way possible. Embark is in a scorching biome.)
What did the very inefficient bridge look like? I’ve never seen an inefficient bridge before
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IncompetentFortressMaker

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7271 on: July 02, 2019, 01:47:49 pm »

The source of the river in my embark is also in my embark. I decided to build a bridge over it for easier access to the other side (my dwarves can get around the bridge but it takes longer, same for caravans). The miner in question hauled the stones (4 dolomite) to the bridge location to design it, or was trying to. He took the long way around and died, rather than going straight to the river edge from the fortress entrance like he ought to have done. The next dwarf to pick up the task was my broker, who fortunately had more sense and is currently alive. Fort entrance is on right side of river, dead dwarf went around the top of the map to left side of the river and died before getting all stones to the bridge.
...would show a local image if I could but the image format either doesn't use URLs (what else would it use?) or doesn't support Google Drive ones (and Imgur is probably packed full of inappropriate images everywhere).
« Last Edit: July 02, 2019, 02:04:34 pm by IncompetentFortressMaker »
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Eric Blank

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7272 on: July 02, 2019, 03:00:44 pm »

Imgur is a great site to upload images to, you can even keep them private (not published to user submitted where other users can find them without a link to it) by default and just put the image url in img tags.
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I make Spellcrafts!
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.

Bumber

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7273 on: July 02, 2019, 08:23:08 pm »

...would show a local image if I could but the image format either doesn't use URLs (what else would it use?) or doesn't support Google Drive ones (and Imgur is probably packed full of inappropriate images everywhere).
Make sure your link ends in an image file extension (.jpg, .png, .bmp, .gif). A link to a page containing the image won't work.
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Reading his name would trigger it. Thinking of him would trigger it. No other circumstances would trigger it- it was strictly related to the concept of Bill Clinton entering the conscious mind.

THE xTROLL FUR SOCKx RUSE WAS A........... DISTACTION        the carp HAVE the wagon

A wizard has turned you into a wagon. This was inevitable (Y/y)?

nezclaw

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7274 on: July 02, 2019, 08:56:51 pm »

Dear Urist McFurnaceOperators

Will you *please* stop canceling the melt metal object orders? There is a TON of Goblinite outside all designated for melting so if you would stop being Armok-damned cowards and fetch it I would be much obliged. The doors are OPEN for crying out loud.
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Dawnthunder: It menaces with spikes of tetanus
After the fire had burned down all of the wooden next boxes on the surface, Mottled Petrel was reluctant to replace them with more wooden nest boxes. Instead, he placed the remaining store of wooden nest boxes in the dormitory for any aspiring koopa mothers.

The nest boxes were immediately overrun by helmet snakes.
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