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Author Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves  (Read 1129062 times)

Large Wereroach

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7275 on: July 03, 2019, 03:23:37 pm »

Hey Urist McMidlifecrisis, why don't you fulfill your life's dream of creating a masterwork by way of constructing something useful, like a door, a grate or a hatch, for a change? You *can* of course put some llama wool and/or gorundhog bones on it. Just don't create another earring or scepter...
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brewer bob

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7276 on: July 04, 2019, 08:08:09 am »

Dear Urist McNecromancer,

Stop using your newly found powers to reanimate skeletons and corpses while hunting. The military is sick and tired of cleaning your mess. We did not steal and copy the books containing the secrets of life and death for you to be a nuisance. Be like the other necromancers - they know how to behave.

Signed,
the not so amused Overseer who was afraid this might happen

ps. From this day onwards, you are not allowed to hunt anymore. One of your reindeer bull skeleton pets managed to kick our war jaguar in the head, exploding the part in gore. We now have to hope that the elves will bring us more jaguars so that our breeding program can continue.
pps. We still have a Forgotten Beast that needs to be taken care of in the caverns, and we will send you as a volunteer if you do not comply.
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Vindcara

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7277 on: July 07, 2019, 02:23:35 am »

Dear overseer nimrod,

I gave up my mortality and place in society for these powers at your insistence, and by Armok, I'm gonna use them one way or another.

Yours,
Urist McNecromancer

p.s.
So help me, if you put me within a hundred feet of that monster and I survive, you will have an undead forgotten beast to deal with. Think on that nimrod.
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Naturegirl1999

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7278 on: July 07, 2019, 07:39:00 am »

Dear overseer nimrod,

I gave up my mortality and place in society for these powers at your insistence, and by Armok, I'm gonna use them one way or another.

Yours,
Urist McNecromancer

p.s.
So help me, if you put me within a hundred feet of that monster and I survive, you will have an undead forgotten beast to deal with. Think on that nimrod.
Dear Urist McNecromancer,

Stop using your newly found powers to reanimate skeletons and corpses while hunting. The military is sick and tired of cleaning your mess. We did not steal and copy the books containing the secrets of life and death for you to be a nuisance. Be like the other necromancers - they know how to behave.

Signed,
the not so amused Overseer who was afraid this might happen

ps. From this day onwards, you are not allowed to hunt anymore. One of your reindeer bull skeleton pets managed to kick our war jaguar in the head, exploding the part in gore. We now have to hope that the elves will bring us more jaguars so that our breeding program can continue.
pps. We still have a Forgotten Beast that needs to be taken care of in the caverns, and we will send you as a volunteer if you do not comply.
I am very curious how this will turn out
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Imic

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7279 on: July 07, 2019, 08:16:49 am »

Dear Litast crafteddrink, surgeon.
STOP HAULING! I DEACTIVATED HAULING ON YOU! WHY! WHY ARE YOU HAULING! PEOPLE ARE DYING YOU BRAINLESS GARDEN ORNAMENT!
-Imic, overseer.
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Superdorf

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7280 on: July 07, 2019, 09:46:37 am »

Ahh-ha... "brainless lawn ornament" is my new favorite dwarf insult.
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brewer bob

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7281 on: July 07, 2019, 01:09:07 pm »


I am very curious how this will turn out

Turned out it was actually the Overseer who was to be blamed, for he had forgotten to order the dwarves to collect refuse outdoors (which is why there were so many corpses & skeletons lying around). So, Urist McNecromancer got to continue their hunting hobby... And the Forgotten Beast was dealt with a cave-in trap using an artifact door set as bait (so far it's been succesfully used on 3 beasts and currently waiting for the fourth to notice the bait).
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Firebird766

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7282 on: July 16, 2019, 10:10:52 pm »

Dear Urist McCarpenter,

This order for bins and animal traps has been active for half a year. I have removed all other labors and checked to make sure the workshop wasn’t blocked. GET ON WITH IT!

Signed,
-Your annoyed Overseer


Dear Urist McExpeditionLeader,

You have a nice bedroom, all the performances you’ll ever want, and a delightful selection of mystery meat lavish meals to choose from. Despite this, you seem to prefer to be upset about not interacting with family (because they opted not to join you on the trip to the fortress) and about drinking booze without a mug a year ago. Cheer up already!

Signed,
-Emphatically not your therapist.


Dear Urist McBard,

Whyyyyy did you suddenly drop dead in the middle of the tavern? And why did no one care? I just had like twenty migrants walk right by your corpse without so much as a blink.

Signed,
-A very perplexed Overseer


Dear Elves,

I moved next to you because you had tamed Giant Grizzly Bears and I wanted in on that. You brought me songbirds and an aardvark that no one has deigned to claim as a pet yet. Please bring me tamed Giant Grizzly Bears next time or I swear to Armok I will- uh, probably not declare war because I want those on my side and not against it, but I will be very unhappy with you!

Signed,
-A good trading partner I swear
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TubaDragoness

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7283 on: July 17, 2019, 11:27:37 am »

Dear Overseer Firebird,

I craft all sorts of lovely wooden things, but if ye want intricate moving parts that will actually catch a critter, ye might want to call in an expert. Or at least somebody that's read a book.

Yours, Urist McCarpenter

(Wiki indicates that trapmaking is governed by the Trapper skill, not carpentry or metalsmithing. The material just affects which workshop is used. No idea about the bins, but if the traps are higher in the priority, it might be blocking them.)
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recon1o6

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7284 on: July 17, 2019, 02:48:32 pm »

Dear Urist Mcbaron

Do not swim up the water cistern we installed specifically for drowning you your indoor bathing. Quite how you became proficient in swimming is beyond me but now I have to empty the entire thing in order to get you back down and hopefully drown you properly in the other noble room

the Overseer
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Urist McRecon cancels make exploding booze: Interrupted by bad idea
Urist McRecon cancels bad idea: missing raw files
Urist McRecon cancels add raw files: Interrupted by fortress mode
Urist McRecon cancels play fortress mode: Needs exploding booze
Urist McRecon cancels acquire exploding booze: No materials

Ianflow

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7285 on: July 17, 2019, 03:11:19 pm »

(Wiki indicates that trapmaking is governed by the Trapper skill, not carpentry or metalsmithing. The material just affects which workshop is used. No idea about the bins, but if the traps are higher in the priority, it might be blocking them.)

(and really that's just a matter of having the correct labor on right?)
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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7286 on: July 22, 2019, 10:18:21 pm »

To Whom It May Concern:

Rattlesnakes are very dangerous.  If you encounter one in the course of your duties, We prefer you to run away.

If you decide that you must engage a rattlesnake, We recommend not grabbing them by the teeth as it will not prevent them from attacking.

We are aware that Our miner seems to have been unharmed by her encounter, but as the snake did in fact successfully strike her twice, We are reserving judgement on the matter.

On that note, the dump zone has been moved following the two combat reports of "attacked by logs".



TO ALL MEMBERS OF THIS FORTRESS:

If this Fortress falls into Ruin because none of you could be bothered to place Our Miner into her Final Resting Place, We will not seek to reclaim it but let it stand as a Monument to your Stupidity.

Not only is it disrespectful to allow the Current State of Affairs to continue, but We cannot reach past the Aquifer with her Body in the way.
« Last Edit: July 23, 2019, 12:47:58 am by HMD Majesty »
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Naturegirl1999

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7287 on: July 23, 2019, 06:21:56 am »

To Whom It May Concern:

Rattlesnakes are very dangerous.  If you encounter one in the course of your duties, We prefer you to run away.

If you decide that you must engage a rattlesnake, We recommend not grabbing them by the teeth as it will not prevent them from attacking.

We are aware that Our miner seems to have been unharmed by her encounter, but as the snake did in fact successfully strike her twice, We are reserving judgement on the matter.

On that note, the dump zone has been moved following the two combat reports of "attacked by logs".



TO ALL MEMBERS OF THIS FORTRESS:

If this Fortress falls into Ruin because none of you could be bothered to place Our Miner into her Final Resting Place, We will not seek to reclaim it but let it stand as a Monument to your Stupidity.

Not only is it disrespectful to allow the Current State of Affairs to continue, but We cannot reach past the Aquifer with her Body in the way.
Attacked by logs? When did logs become hostile?
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pikachu17

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7288 on: July 23, 2019, 10:41:27 am »

The logs were in league with that villain, Gravity.
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HMD Majesty

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7289 on: July 23, 2019, 11:49:13 am »

To Whom It May Concern:

Rattlesnakes are very dangerous.  If you encounter one in the course of your duties, We prefer you to run away.

If you decide that you must engage a rattlesnake, We recommend not grabbing them by the teeth as it will not prevent them from attacking.

We are aware that Our miner seems to have been unharmed by her encounter, but as the snake did in fact successfully strike her twice, We are reserving judgement on the matter.

On that note, the dump zone has been moved following the two combat reports of "attacked by logs".



TO ALL MEMBERS OF THIS FORTRESS:

If this Fortress falls into Ruin because none of you could be bothered to place Our Miner into her Final Resting Place, We will not seek to reclaim it but let it stand as a Monument to your Stupidity.

Not only is it disrespectful to allow the Current State of Affairs to continue, but We cannot reach past the Aquifer with her Body in the way.
Attacked by logs? When did logs become hostile?

The answer to your question is that the combat reports do not distinguish between 'was attacked by log' and 'had log dropped on them'.  Any dwarf who has logs fall onto them or into their space reports it as a fight against logs.

They also report cave-ins in this manner.



To All Hunters:

If We receive another report of someone retreating from a pangolin that did not even attempt to attack, We shall be most displeased and will remove all permission to hunt.
« Last Edit: July 23, 2019, 12:55:11 pm by HMD Majesty »
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