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Author Topic: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves  (Read 1091801 times)

GandalfTheGreyt3791

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7410 on: July 28, 2020, 03:15:38 pm »

Dear Urist McPeasent

HOW DARE YOU SAVE THE REST OF THE FORT INSTEAD OF LETING THE TRAINED PROFESSIONALS HANDLE IT?????????
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lukerules117

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7411 on: August 01, 2020, 10:33:31 am »

Dear dwarves, as you know, two horrible crimes the first of which being the attempted theft of an artifact, and the second being the murder of our beloved tavernkeeper in a way that only a creature of the night can. Thankfully the perpetrator of both was quickly discovered and confessed under interrogation, in addition it seems he's part of an even larger organization. Now given that you know this, can each of you explain using your own words in a short concise manner why the fuck you made him mayor shortly after this was discovered?

Dear UristMcSherrif, why have you decided that the most vile criminal in the fort's history does not need a punishment?
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HMD Majesty

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  • Likes dwarfs for their stupidity.
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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7412 on: August 17, 2020, 01:37:31 pm »

To Whom It May Concern,

We have a Dining Room with forty-two Tables, all of which are equipped with a Chair.  We also have four unassigned Tables that have Chairs.

If you choose to eat on the one Seat in Whisperorbs without a Table by it, you have no reason to complain about a Lack of Tables.

By My Hand,

Her Most Dread Majesty
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It's a toy AXE, it's meant to be dangerous.

Urist mcbayblade

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7413 on: September 03, 2020, 01:26:14 am »

Dear urist mcminer.
I am curious as to what made you think a small hole rapidly filling with water was a good place to take a nap.
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recon1o6

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  • Developing a race, explosive booze and death traps
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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7414 on: September 16, 2020, 05:18:14 am »

Dear !!Urist Mcburninghaulier!!

Urist, when you are on fire, the proper procedure is to put yourself out in the swimming pool

It is not continue hauling flammable items and then boil away all the booze when you are thirsty.
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Urist McRecon cancels make exploding booze: Interrupted by bad idea
Urist McRecon cancels bad idea: missing raw files
Urist McRecon cancels add raw files: Interrupted by fortress mode
Urist McRecon cancels play fortress mode: Needs exploding booze
Urist McRecon cancels acquire exploding booze: No materials

forumist

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7415 on: September 16, 2020, 11:43:47 am »

Dear militia,

When I order you to station on the tower top, the goal is to protect the marksdwarves against climbing goblins. No need to use the tree branches hanging over the fortifications to get out and get stupidly killed by the goblins that still haven't managed to climb up.
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Don't quote me on that.
Cacame channels aquifers into submission by staring at them. Cacame is so badass, kobolds give him their children to leave them alone. If Hidden Fun Stuff digs too far down, they hit Cacame. Cacame once took a Tantrum Spiral and impaled four enemies on it.

indyofcomo

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7416 on: September 17, 2020, 11:03:26 am »

Dear militia,

When I order you to station on the tower top, the goal is to protect the marksdwarves against climbing goblins. No need to use the tree branches hanging over the fortifications to get out and get stupidly killed by the goblins that still haven't managed to climb up.
lol
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lazygun

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7417 on: September 18, 2020, 01:49:47 pm »

To the Crystalline Pastimes:

You are an axedwarf squad, all equipped with at least superior quality steel battle axes. All of you are expert or better in fighting using battle axes. Please stop demonstrating warhammer usage to each other.

That is all.
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nezclaw

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  • i'm here, i'm queer, and i wanna go home.
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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7418 on: September 19, 2020, 12:11:55 am »

To the assorted visiting entertainers,

Get Out Of My Fortress Before I Fill The Tavern With Magma.

Yours, The Overseer
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Dawnthunder: It menaces with spikes of tetanus
After the fire had burned down all of the wooden next boxes on the surface, Mottled Petrel was reluctant to replace them with more wooden nest boxes. Instead, he placed the remaining store of wooden nest boxes in the dormitory for any aspiring koopa mothers.

The nest boxes were immediately overrun by helmet snakes.

Eric Blank

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Re: Note to Urist--In which you express your frustration to your dwarves
« Reply #7419 on: September 25, 2020, 12:35:08 am »

Dear Ursas

When you do this;

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

It gives me a headache. I didn't realize I even made you shearable. I realize now I edited the wrong file. You're not supposed to shave yourselves. Please go shave the yaks.

Sincerely, a confused modder.
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"THEN CAME TOBNOM, ASS-GOD".
I have no idea where anything is. I have no idea what anything does. This is not merely a madhouse designed by a madman, but a madhouse designed by many madmen, each with an intense hatred for the previous madman's unique flavour of madness.
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