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Author Topic: The Spider's Crown (early draft)  (Read 1161 times)

Willfor

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  • The great magmaman adventurer. I do it for hugs.
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The Spider's Crown (early draft)
« on: August 14, 2010, 12:22:22 pm »

Chapter 1 of the novel in its revised setting. Several things require names and expansion, but it's safe for me to move onto the next chapter knowing generally what's been introduced. In general, it needs more flesh on its bones, and better pacing. Also, it is formatted for posting in places where html is acceptable, and I'm not going to fix that right this second.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

In general, I'd like to know if any of you feel if I'm introducing too many characters too quickly, and if the names get confusing. I like using nicknames in both Hera's dialogue, and thought processes. If you have to read it twice over to understand who is doing what though, it means I am not quite doing my job. Well, if it happens too often, anyway.

Now I am off to make some kind of blurb.
« Last Edit: August 14, 2010, 12:24:07 pm by Willfor »
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In the wells of livestock vans with shells and garden sands /
Iron mixed with oxygen as per the laws of chemistry and chance /
A shape was roughly human, it was only roughly human /
Apparition eyes / Apparition eyes / Knock, apparition, knock / Eyes, apparition eyes /