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[umiman]

My lieges are both morons.

Vassal of Byzantium, pledged fealty as a Serb in Charledate. Planning to eat the ERE from the inside and become Emperor of Serbia. Revolt to lower CA happens, I'm part of it. Somehow the Patriarchate joins our side, this will be important later. So, we have more men than the Emperor, and my liege goes around sieging things. The Emperor smashes the Patriarchy (pun intended) and captures their Constantinople bishopric, for -62% warscore. Even after this, we're at a healthy 75%. We could win the war right then, but my moron liege refuses to capture Constantinople. Like, he is literally sieging everything but Constantinople. Even worse, warscore is capped at 75% for some reason from all our battles AND occupations, even though we should be winning by 150%. I would do this shit myself, but I don't have the men or the money. Eventually, the Emperor gets his shit together and beats the piss out of the revolt leaders army and begins countersieging holdings with impunity. At that point, I just saved and ragequitted. PERUN CHRIST, YOU DUMBSHIT, YOU HAD 6,000 MEN AND YOU COULDN'T TAKE ONE DAMN HOLDING TO WIN THE WAR?!

Sounds pretty accurate to what an idiotic ruler would do.

[Loud Whispers]

Most wars were won through siege warfare. Conversely, most medieval leaders could not conduct siege warfare

[pisskop]

I want to mod in the civ iv dow soundbyte into the game to play instead of the drumtaps that happen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kSjyG8I2xV0


But I dont quite know if ts possible

[Sirbug]

Will try Abyssinian ZOG game again soon. Start as Axum, take over Abyssinia, and try to worm into Israel from here.

But how do I fend off Egypt?

[Sheb]

I did such a game once. I had a lot of success by grabbing some land on the arabian peninsula and basically run on the side of the red sea the egyptians aren't, sieging stuff and letting attrition draw them down a bit.

[Teneb]

I did such a game once. I had a lot of success by grabbing some land on the arabian peninsula and basically run on the side of the red sea the egyptians aren't, sieging stuff and letting attrition draw them down a bit.

I suppose you could start close to the crusades, too. That would weaken whomever holds Egypt.

[Lukewarm]

Every time I try and conquer a one-county state in Ireland, the bastards pull a 5-7 thousand troop merc group out of their ass and bankrupt themselves, and then they just stay there and laugh at my two thousand soldiers on boats. I've already console-commanded myself into having a claim on a different county because the first was pulling the previously mentioned seven thousand, which I decided was bullshit and worthy of retroactive unclaiming, reasoning that I already paid for the claim, so if I didn't use the strong claim on the first I could just give myself a claim on another, less AI-bullshitty county, only to find that once I had, I was surrounded by the previously mentioned bullshit.

[pisskop]

Gen1kop took over for his father at the age of 2

he split the holdings with 2ndson who was a babby.  he was kept alive on the grounds that mah dynasty, which was a source of heartache, ofc.

the little pecker, of dubious parental seed, was quite competent, a good statesman, a passable diplomat, and a fantastic general.  quickly becoming a favorite as he led his armies, backed by daddys prestige-bought buildings, to the chaotic fustercluck that is tribal allies.


Where PapaFusco took lithuania, fought off the swedish, and set up loyal vassals, gen1son took Poland and enough of Russia and Ruthenia to piss off the would be kings of Rus and Ruthinia.  his last 10 years of life were raising his son and his sons bethrothed (because fu im king), getting maimed, and banishing his brither to get his vassals to elect his grown son.

and they did, 8 to 7.  close shaven.  A shame too, ihate that I sabotaged their otherwise relatively waem (fir ambitious pagan nobles) relationship.  I gave his two sons ciefdoms though, so when he left they stayed.  score.  hes also young enough to make more?  Id love oversees kinfolk.

Gen2Kop took the holdings as the sole inheritor.  he is quick and his wife a genius, and we are a few temple raids and a subjugation war from having reform.  which us against saxony.  5.5k 2 kinglevel pagan ally saxony.   ive been kowtowing to them most of the game, since with my heartlands cut up I was weaker.


i think i might be in for buying more dlc, but im anxious to see the religion codes been overworked

[scriver]

Will try Abyssinian ZOG game again soon. Start as Axum, take over Abyssinia, and try to worm into Israel from here.

But how do I fend off Egypt?

When I was doing such a run (starting 1066) I kept my diplomat almost constantly on the Fatimid capital to raise their opinion of me (I can't say its fact, but I have always assumed opinion affects AI willingness to go to war with somebody) as soon as I started getting big enough to risk invasion from them. I also tried to time my wars to theirs so they don't do the whole opportunist invasion skit - and they will usually be fighting a lot, so that's not a big issue. I got lucky and a lot of those wars were infighting and competing with the Abbasids and Seljuks rather than Holy Wars, so by time I had unified every province in Nile-And-Horn country they had only conquered a single Nubian duchy.

Like Sheb, I also found the land on the Arabian peninsula to be a boon. The Silk Road stops by a couple of them, owning those is s nice boost to your income. The duchy closest to Africa is Shia, so their only allies during a Holy War is the Fatimids, and if you attack while they are busy... The counties further away starts as part of the Seljuk empire, iirc, but I find they tend to be among the ones who are constantly wages Independence Wars against  their overlord and usually breaks free after a while.

Other than that, I can't think of much right now. Good luck (you're still going to need it )

PS. Fatimid-Seljuk wars are the greatest things - they both field super armies and can usually be at war with the otherfor years and years without either gaining advantage enough to win, just throwing army after army at the enemy and sieging and retaking the same provinces over and over again. Those are good years for Ethiopia.

[Sirbug]

In my playthrough Egypt did conquer one of my provinces, but quickly got bankrupt so they they couldn't do it anymore.

However after seeing them fending off both a crusade and a decadence revolt at the same time, I gave up all hope.

[Descan]

Depending on how big you were, you could have been the camel-breaking straw in that fight.

[pisskop]

Gen2kop is now 60 and his 36 yearold second wife just popped a 6thor 7th son out.  i lost count, they are both lustful.  he really took the loss of the first one hard.

He campaigned over bohemia amd saxony, each now has a duchy left.  he formed the title 'emperor' while still living in a tribe.  emporer Kop then reformed his faith by pillaging temples not even at his borders and conquesting temples to hand out for piety.

All this done, he comes up to the issue that he has 4 or 5 competent sons.  Some shuffling happens, someelevations, some dubious demotions, all trying to get and keep gen3kop in motion.


Luckily, just this year, i got my vassals rooted out for heresy and got loyal ones in.  I popped up to abolsute with minimal protest and made my fort.  now I make 1200 troops at my capital instead of 3k.

Still, Even without my tribal allies Im strong.  I made the mistake of forgetting about pagan homeland attrition, just like gen2kop forgot how to fight without supplies in the 4 months he spent in his new fort.


I lost that holy war.  and now I left it off with secondson demanding seniority sucession or war, because hes mad i went to gavelkin over elective gavelkin

[pisskop]

^^^

Gen3kop died all of 2-3 years after becoming emperor, to an arrow in the eyeball.  Gen2kop lived to the healthy age of 70, hunting away and gaining and losing diligent like 3 times.  Known as the 'ill-ruler', he pounded a lot of heads.

His son, whom I had zero control over, since I had given Gen3kop a duchy to make him more valuable to the ai electors, had a son, who was, for lack of a better word, a moron.  With a whooping 4 for learning and diplomacy, his saving grace was a decent martial score, 21, and a masterful martial education.  Likiik Penikas wasby far the worst emperor, and has struggled the most in the 5-10 years of his emperorship, despite being the best combatant and youngest emperor.

Gen4kop, Likiik the moron ('just', by the game's accounts) has seen 2 rebellions, revoked 3 duchies, killed his half-brother, had 1 war over a duchy revokation, and had Rus ninja in with a suprise army to try to take back novogorod while a host was in town trying to take my arch-shaman's land's.

He, on top of it all, has a crzy 3 for his statesman's skill, and got depressed, then stressed, then wounded in the span of 6 months.  Wholly hell guy.  To make it worse, he only has 2 daughters, and I had to divorce the moron of a wife he had because I couldnt see anything good come of that.

[pisskop]

Gen4kop, Likiik the just, turned out to live for 30+ years as emperor.  He eventually got competent at things, and had 10 or so daughters before making 2 sons.

He was maimed over 10 years ago, but is such an awesome guy he went right on kicking ass and taking names.  He umm, met a dead guy while hunting and brought him back to court.  Over a hundred years ago this man died in bed, made comatose in battle.  The ghost of Jedetus still haunts those who go hunting for the white stag.

[pisskop]

Joe started an ironman of lithuania.


Took 3 tries to not die of stress/wound or failing to revolt, but meh. 66% success on the getting to high chief is not too bad

My survivor lost an early sujugation of mainland finland by getting captured, which hurt.  its a gamble to go for that first because different religion, but worth it because you can set up you priest and it opens up Rus and Finland for conquest before they get unified.

Pomerania and poland coalesced quick, before I did, and rus and ruthenia shorty after me.  up to finland I went, outcompeting the vikings.

I gained lunatic and murdered chthulu before getting married.  cant believe the game wanted me to off myself.  I then bore 2 normal daughters and an imbecile son before dying at 62.


The kid had great luck with his reagents, and i did do some prepping for the trip down retard kid lane.  I  kept my holdings purposely spread out, and held onto a county in every duchy I didnt keep for myself.  thus handing them their rightful lands eased me into this.

mumz was an awesome spy, and shielded pisskop ii.  by winning wars he got prestige, and he kept his unrelated heir locked up to avoid that mess.

at 16 he had 1800 prestige and a statline of 2 intrigue.  his base skills were 5-7s, but -8 imbecile hurts.

He dowed a weakened poland while bohemi-rania was dealing with catholic uprisings, taking by storm a kingdom.  So now the question is:  what do/can I do with this poor guy?  his wife is 8 years away frm maturity, and Idk if i can get my beautiful/quick traits back