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Author Topic: Crusader Kings 2 is released.  (Read 1990499 times)

umiman

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #10875 on: September 02, 2016, 07:55:42 pm »

I was wondering where the Aztec army was. So I sent Mizra ibn Mahmud, the lunatic and poxy spymaster with a lisp to go find them.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

------------

November 3rd, 1012.

86,000 Aztecs show up on the borders of the Seine. Unfortunately they show the same godly powers as the Mongols in their ability to never suffer from attrition.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Calpixqui Alvar leads the vanguard force of 72,000 Jaguar warriors into my own vanguard of 21,750 riders led by Sokal of the Yughur clan.

Another 14,000 Jaguars march East to enter Eastern France while a remaining 16,000 warriors march into Southern France from Bourges. Mere distractions.

This will be the deciding battle. If the 72,000 Jaguars manage to rout Sokal and his riders before they can be reinforced by the other flanks, then the effort is doomed. But if we can defeat them at the battle of Vexin over the Seine River... then victory is all but ours.

Onward to glory.

-----------------

November 16, 1012

The battle is under way on this mild winter's day. 71,393 Aztec troops against 21,625 riders of Tengri over the river Seine, in the fields of Gisors, Vexin.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The riders MUST hold out until the 22nd of November for the reinforcements to sweep the field of battle. 6 bloody days without reprieve. I pray to Ahura Mazda that Sokal can hold out.

somemildmanneredidiot

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #10876 on: September 02, 2016, 08:05:43 pm »

So if the new DLC affects armies in a comparable manner as to what we've seen, they should all be dead within the next 5 years right?

Right?  ???
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"As to why you'd want to [throw your sword in combat] at all? The answer is pretty simple: There's someone you want to stab, but they're all the way over there, and walking is for peasants." - Starke of How To Fight Write

MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #10877 on: September 02, 2016, 08:10:00 pm »

So if the new DLC affects armies in a comparable manner as to what we've seen, they should all be dead within the next 5 years right?

Right?  ???
HORSE ARCHES FOLDED GORRILIAN TIMES

COMPLETE IMMUNITY TO ATTRITION

GO HOME WALL LOVER
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Rolan7

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #10878 on: September 02, 2016, 08:16:50 pm »

GO HOME WALL LOVER

[You're] gon' build that wall until it's done
but now you've got nowhere to run.
So build that wall and build it strong 'cuz
we'll be there before too long...


Those Aztec event troops don't take attrition?  Mechanically understandable, but pretty BS too.
I do hope that earlier Aztec/Mongol invasions are proportionally weaker.  Since I have them both on random...  I'm playing a republic, it only seemed fair (except that I can't fricken procreate with all this death!!!)
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umiman

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #10879 on: September 02, 2016, 08:22:37 pm »

Nope. Those superdeath horde spawns like Mongols, Timurids, and Aztecs are completely immune to attrition. It's total bullshit as it means they can field all 120,000 troops against you while you split your guys up into little chunks for them to clean up.

When I mentioned that the Mongols were defeated by the Black Plague, what I really meant was that their leaders kept dying and so they kept having succession problems and used their event troops to fight themselves to death. After many years I came in and cleaned up. Benefits to being immortal.

JumpingJack

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #10880 on: September 02, 2016, 08:28:16 pm »

Those Aztec event troops don't take attrition?  Mechanically understandable, but pretty BS too.
I do hope that earlier Aztec/Mongol invasions are proportionally weaker.  Since I have them both on random...  I'm playing a republic, it only seemed fair (except that I can't fricken procreate with all this death!!!)
Fancy that, I was just doing a tribal-to-republic playthrough. Ended pretty early when I found that about half of my vassals went feudal after the shift, though. Imperial Germany run, here I come. :P

HORSE ARCHES FOLDED GORRILIAN TIMES

COMPLETE IMMUNITY TO ATTRITION

GO HOME WALL LOVER
GLORIOUS OBSIDIAN SWORDS

MINED FROM FEARSOME NEW WORLD HELL PITS

TEAR RIGHT THROUGH RICE PAPER ARMOR

NOT LIKE SUPERIOR JAGUAR LOINCLOTHS

Ahem. Into the sigtext you go.
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umiman

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #10881 on: September 02, 2016, 08:34:21 pm »

November 22nd, 1012

It turns out when all your men are on horses and all the enemy are on foot, it's fairly easy to stay away from them for 6 days.

Then on the dawn of today, 40,000 more riders rode in from the North.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

This battle is ours.

-----------

December 6th, 1012

A glorious victory. Sokol of the Yughur clan won himself 562.4 prestige today after a tremendous battle where he massacred the Aztecs to the tune of 56,248 dead compared to a mere 1324 riders lost. In other news, his cousin Bonek of the Yughur clan also slaughtered another 1734 Aztecs while only losing three.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The Aztecs are doomed, and soon the world will foll- will be saved!

Zanzetkuken The Great

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #10882 on: September 02, 2016, 08:38:17 pm »

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umiman

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #10883 on: September 02, 2016, 08:47:13 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

How the-?
It was unfortunately, the most bloody battle of the war.

Every other battle that followed was less painful on poor Tengri horses.

For example, General Begluk, also of the Yughur clan, who until now I didn't realize represented practically all of my generals, just slaughtered 14,000 more Aztecs while only losing 140 riders of his own.

Huetlatoani Tizoc 'the Fat' is probably quivering in his throne right now. In a month he lost over a hundred thousand men. Don't worry little Emperor. We will come for you.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: How to win CK2 battles (click to show/hide)

hector13

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #10884 on: September 02, 2016, 09:13:41 pm »

What did your upkeep costs rise to in order to replace the losses?
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Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.

umiman

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #10885 on: September 02, 2016, 09:58:34 pm »

What did your upkeep costs rise to in order to replace the losses?

Man of Paper

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #10886 on: September 02, 2016, 10:25:42 pm »

Looks like your playing "Jam As Many Modifiers Into This Space As Possible: The Game"
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MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #10887 on: September 02, 2016, 10:31:23 pm »

No, it's "Nullculture; STACK OVERFLOW EXCHANGE=0;".
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Quote from: Thomas Paine
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture.
Quote
No Gods, No Masters.

somemildmanneredidiot

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #10888 on: September 02, 2016, 10:35:58 pm »

Presuming you still have that 613+k, you've got another 810 upkeep tics before you run out of cash.
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"As to why you'd want to [throw your sword in combat] at all? The answer is pretty simple: There's someone you want to stab, but they're all the way over there, and walking is for peasants." - Starke of How To Fight Write

hector13

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Re: Crusader Kings 2 is released.
« Reply #10889 on: September 02, 2016, 10:37:41 pm »

Looks like he's losing about 60 gold a month, if I'm figuring things right, so it's probably longer than the game would run before running out of cash.
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Look, we need to raise a psychopath who will murder God, we have no time to be spending on cooking.

the way your fingertips plant meaningless soliloquies makes me think you are the true evil among us.
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