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PULL THE LEVER? [Y/N]

Y
- 281 (87.8%)
N
- 39 (12.2%)

Total Members Voted: 319


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Author Topic: FailCannon: No Rest for the Wicked (or anyone else) (Succession: Battlefailed 2)  (Read 885207 times)

Nat

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #300 on: October 19, 2010, 04:31:57 am »

Nat, our mayor, has finally moved from the depot corner where he has lain, gravely injured, since LordSlowpoke stabbed him when Frosty was still alive. Rest in peace, Nat -- you were the most undemanding mayor I've ever known.

All I wanted was something to eat, maybe someone to help me clean up all this blood...
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dragonshardz

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #301 on: October 19, 2010, 11:36:37 am »

I...gave birth...?

...*brain asplodes*...

Cheese

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #302 on: October 19, 2010, 01:13:38 pm »

Can I be dorfed? I'll take any available position. Cheese as nickname. Thanks.
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Glacial

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #303 on: October 19, 2010, 03:29:23 pm »

I've PM'd Will Alvein to see if he wants to take his turn. If not, Oglokoog, you look to be up next.
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SethCreiyd

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #304 on: October 20, 2010, 01:28:09 am »

That was a terrific read.  Failcannon's turning out like a good dwarven wine.

And good call on sealing the cavern before Stuzang's cousin killed everyone.  So far we're living up to the original mission statement.  Maybe we can even make it to the end of the turn list!  I've knocked on wood.
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hellbored

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #305 on: October 20, 2010, 05:56:40 am »

I'll request to be dorf'd also. Nick to the left <-, whatever position is available ;)
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LordSlowpoke

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #306 on: October 20, 2010, 02:46:33 pm »

Good, good. Stabbing others not to tantrum and get killed? Perfect. That guy seems to be exactly like me, except he actually went and stabbed Nat. The story overall is exactly how I like stuff to be, stuff that has to get it's dedicated spot right under Battlefailed in the Legends.

And Nat, no hard feelings, right?
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Glacial

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #307 on: October 20, 2010, 04:52:20 pm »

Spring 520 was a troubled time. Let's not talk about brew/fight club.

 LordSlowpoke finished off the last of the undead horse army as well. I think there were two or three left when Glacial was being chain-stunned and I called in everyone. The brew/fight club are pretty much all badassed.
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cappstv

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #308 on: October 20, 2010, 05:25:24 pm »

Stop breaking the rules man...
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The French were adept of the "Losing is Fun" philosophy long before Dwarf Fortress.

SethCreiyd

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #309 on: October 20, 2010, 09:42:09 pm »

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: October 20, 2010, 10:46:44 pm by SethCreiyd »
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Glacial

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #310 on: October 22, 2010, 11:30:11 am »

I'm PM'ing Oglokoog that he's up for the next turn.
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Oglokoog

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #311 on: October 22, 2010, 02:16:00 pm »

Download of save in progress.
I'll try not to disappoint, but don't expect much in the way of RPing.
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So we got monsters above, monsters below, dwarves in the middle and a party in the dining hall. Sounds good to me.
If all else fails, remember one thing:  kittens are delicious, nutritious little goblin-baiters, cavern explorers, and ambush-finders.

Oglokoog

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #312 on: October 23, 2010, 02:43:58 pm »

Journal of 'Oglia' Vathsithid, temporary overseer of fortress Failcannon

1st Granite 521
I awoke this morning ("morning" being a rather meaningless word, of course, considering we are underground) only to find out that I have been chosen (by who?) to lead this fortress for the entire next year. I don't even know how I know this. I just do. So, I took a short break from my usual schedule of weaving thread into cloth and started pretending to "oversee" things around the fortress. I don't know what I'm actually supposed to do, so I just walked around the fortress trying to look all important.
Here's what I noticed:
  • everyone seems to be pretty happy, which is good
  • everyone is actually only about twenty-five dwarves... I thought there was more of us.
  • we have a pretty extensive magma forge complex, but not enough dwarfpower to actually use its full potential
  • there is a hole into the caverns which looks like a forgotten beast might fit through it
Of these things, I only know how to fix the last one. I ordered a floor built over the hole (the mason said that an upwards stair would've been sufficient, but I'm not so sure. Floors seem much sturdier and more forgotten beast-proof to me) and the task was completed quite swiftly.
We also seem to have enough food and drink to last us quite a while, but I don't know whether we have enough cooks and brewers to expand the stocks should we deplete them.

How the hell should I know what day it is?
There are goblins outside. In fact, there have been goblins outside for quite a while, but only now does it matter.
Migrants have arrived. I wanted to just open the door for them to get inside, but the two military dwarves we have sternly denied any possibility of that happening (they are soldiers by name only anyway... they pretend to train sometimes, but I think they actually just sit around in the barracks when nobody is looking. They aren't properly armored or in any way combat-ready, as far as I can tell.). I really wish we had a proper military.
Well anyway, we tried shouting at the new arrivals to run away, but by the time they heard us, it was too late - the goblins noticed them. It was a massacre. Some of them, however managed to get close to the door, so I convinced the "soldiers" to open it just for a moment. They did, but in the ensuing chaos hellbored, our manager, wandered outside and before I could do anything, the goblins got too close and the soldiers forced me to close the door again. There was nothing we could do.
The five dwarves that managed to get inside (out of the total of twelve that arrived) were in quite bad shape, but our doctors seem to be taking care of them... acceptably. It seems that at least some of them might survive. I talked to them and none of them possess any particularly useful skills (which, I would imagine, is the reason they were desperate enough to travel to this deathtrap of a fortress), but that doesn't matter. We need any dwarves that we can get.

I really have no idea what day it is. Honestly. Not like it matters anyway.
An elven caravan arrived. Since the last entry, the goblins have left, but another two squads arrived to take their place. It doesn't seem like they will leave us alone anytime soon. The elves got slaughtered and we could only watch. I really, really wish we had a real army instead of these two good-for-nothings.
There are, however, good news! Four of the five wounded dwarves are alive and well and have already started working. The last one is still in bed, but it seems like the doctors might be able to fix him up as well.




Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: October 23, 2010, 02:48:12 pm by Oglokoog »
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So we got monsters above, monsters below, dwarves in the middle and a party in the dining hall. Sounds good to me.
If all else fails, remember one thing:  kittens are delicious, nutritious little goblin-baiters, cavern explorers, and ambush-finders.

cappstv

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #313 on: October 23, 2010, 04:05:03 pm »

Haha you are a girrrrl! And girls have germs!
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The French were adept of the "Losing is Fun" philosophy long before Dwarf Fortress.

Oglokoog

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Re: FailCannon: Super Happy Fun Beach (Succession: Battlefailed II)
« Reply #314 on: October 23, 2010, 05:11:42 pm »

The last dwarf is finally out of the hospital. I have to say that our doctors are really pretty competent. Inside the fortress, nothing is out of the ordinary - there are still some barrel-related issues, but I'm sure I can sort that out.
Outside, however... today, a goblin invasion, a small force of kobold bowmen and a human caravan collided just west of our wall. Unlike the stupid elves, the humans actually brought some weapons and people to use them so they fought back and even killed some of the filthy Xenos beasts, but ultimately, they were all brought down and killed. Afterwards, both the goblins and the kobolds left so I sent Tyler out to finish the wall that one of my predecessors has started. I hope he manages to finish it before another threat arises; luckily, I had the foresight to amass a quantity of stone beside the wall so he doesn't have to walk a lot to get building materials. We really need the wall - as the kobolds were rushing to greet the humans, they fired a few arrows down the cliff and somehow managed to hit a child, who is now resting in the hospital.




Spoiler (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: January 14, 2011, 04:44:47 am by Oglokoog »
Logged
So we got monsters above, monsters below, dwarves in the middle and a party in the dining hall. Sounds good to me.
If all else fails, remember one thing:  kittens are delicious, nutritious little goblin-baiters, cavern explorers, and ambush-finders.
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