So there's two of me running around? (Uristein and Urist the Moody High Master Weaponsmith) Sweet. I hope I don't need wool.
As for another year, ask whoever's next on the turn list (which I really should update).
Yeah, my bad about the clone. There are two Arcane Saints too, a Medical Student and a Smith Doctor. The result of dwarfing folks at 5 A.M. when the screen is hard to comprehend.
Joshua IX has graciously allowed me a second year.
...you intend to kill every named dwarf, don't you. Am I still alive, by the way?
That is a scandalous accusation, good sir. Dariush III is in traction down in what once was a hospital, outside his office. I'm putting some touches on that Tower of Doors thing, for which I have special plans involving a hematite lever and an electrum pillar. No plans for pulling anything, just... plans.
Wait what?! Failcannon is still alive?! I didn't believe you would last this long. It seems that playturn lisy and dorfing lists are huge so Ill skip but I'm definately going to read this. Its quite sometime since I read battlefailed.
You could be dorfed if you like. There are still a few unclaimed dwarves around the place. Living ones, too.
Wait what?! Grath is still alive? Obviously I haven't been catching enough arrows.
Indeed, so far it's been only one arrow, in the fourth finger, right hand. There's always the chance of fatal infection, though, so don't give up hope.
Excellent work, Seth. A great read.
Plenty of !?!? amongst the last three posts.
Glad you're enjoying it! I think the Ericas have been commemorated, so when I deface their slabs they might come back as murderous. We'll find out, anyway.
"Glacial."
"You're back!"
"The sunshine, Glacial."
"Did you find Lur?"
"No. Only a very old enemy. She's planned this for eons, and now, something, abominable, spreads at her command. Something once held in stasis, unchained."
"What is it?"
"It isn't."* * *
On the evening of Granite 1 I met with Dariush III in his temporary office, where he's still resting his injured legs. The diplomat from Graspedseduce has stood by his side every day for months now, but as far as I know they haven't actually begun official meetings. Dariush still claims to be unable to speak officially due to his "rest." One wonders what they've been up to this whole time.
Reports are coming in that our most recent wood mining efforts were interrupted by some slimy winged ant that nearly stole off with Ahrimahn and several other woodcutters. Lucky for them LAAT was there since he's the only one there who remembered holding an axe.
Quick, clean and efficient. LAAT is truly my kind of mechanic. If the beast managed to get any of that slime anywhere, we haven't been able to find it.
The weavers are yet to fully discern the type of cloth Urist needs. He's starting to shout louder at his workshop and I'm concerned he'll snap any day now. Turns out he's the cousin of Uristein, who suggested he might be after something called "wool," from a "sheep," if I'm spelling right. Some kind of furry monster from the Eastern Lands. Since the chances of us getting this sheep here in time are about zero, we'll need to think of another solution. I tried getting one of the farmers to shave a captive troll.
He wasn't having that, so it's back to the drawing board.
The masons still haven't built that wall, but they shot down another repugnant monster. Gods only know what it was before they mangled it. No matter. We'll never need to farm for food again at this rate.
It was sometime around midnight when breadbocks decided to take her daughter outside on a mission to claim a certain article of footwear from the clutches of the soggy beach. Nobody realized where she'd went until her screams carried over the walls.
By the time ElementalWind got there to smash up the horse from behind, the skorse was desperately kicking at breadbocks' head, trying to cave her skull in despite the adamantine helmet protecting her.
I stood there as breadbocks was carried away to the overcrowded hospital. Staring at the strands of horse hair scattered across the sands where that tempting sock lay, I was struck by an idea. Horse hair is thick and sturdy.
Sturdy enough to weave? We'll find out. We might be able to coax Urist away from madness with the promise of new materials. Uristein says that wool is just a certain sort of animal hair, so when we give his cousin this "wool" he'd better accept it, or it's Cage Traps all the way down the magma sea.
1: Get horse hair
2: Weave horse hair
3: ? ? ? ?
4: FUCK
I can't fight this thing! Uh... by
myself! what the hell even
is that thing?
Oh gods, oh holy schist we're all done fo-- I mean, don't just stand there, lads! Have at the monster! You have weapons, use them!
I SAID USE THEM NOT DROP THEM
Damn it, Robocorn. You said you wanted more out of life than cheese! Was the adamantine battle axe not a part of that plan?
He's melting all over the hall! Why aren't you people helping him?! Help, someone!
Reinforcements! Let us avenge our fallen comrade!
Ha, that's it! Teamwork! There's nothing it can't solve! Aside from bringing Robocorn back from the dead, I guess. But still, by working together, we can certainly mop up his remains.
Don't look at me that way, Thatdude. I had your back the whole time!
Little over a week into Granite and already we've lost too many. Skorses murdered a dabbling Mason building the eastern water containment wall. It seems they're learning how to bypass the helmet to kill us, as Derm's twisted spine would suggest. Rest in peace, good Bone Carver. You died most poetically.
The following morning, That Aussie Dwarf braved the beach to recover Derm's body. May he have better luck.
I don't get it. They're nothing but skin and bones and sinew, people! They can't be that tough.
Megaman finally brought down the creature from behind while it gave That Aussie Dwarf a few reasons never to leave bed again. It's great how new migrants get here and see one out of five people missing limbs or in casts. Makes me wonder about what they're telling the Mountainhome, so I'll need to collect the letters and burn them before this year's caravan. I doubt the Queen would come to a "cursed death trap" as I hear the rabble put it, no matter how bad the Capital got.
This skeletal horse business would never have happened if Tupu was at his post as ordered, but I suppose even Champions need to eat every once in a while.
Granite 13Tupu has returned to his guard post. I don't know how he manages to use his gear without a working grasp, but this is Tupu we're talking about. If he lacked that last feeble arm he'd probably wield the hammer in his teeth.
I don't know what the foodies are on about. I see plenty of butcherable material scampering around now that Derm isn't feeding it.
Granite 22Some Soap Maker barged into my office screaming his beard off about the draft and something about "extreme negligence." I told him to go bother Dariush in his infirmary office, I'm sure the Mayor could use some company.
Granite 23Uristein's cousin finally began forging his master work. With our luck it'll be a mace, or maybe a blowgun. I would personally appreciate a scimitar, so I know for certain that's not what it's going to be.
Granite 24This is so typical. The workers are going on strike demanding safer working conditions and better quarters. The Cat Lady seems to be the ringleader, I'm watching her. At least four dwarves are refusing to work in their rage but no one's turned violent so far. A road-in-progress was uprooted by someone the other day. Can one be charged for vandalizing something that hasn't been built yet? I'll need to ask Aik, the interim Captain of the Guard in the stead of the late boozedwarf. The fact that I closed the dining room for renovations gives no one the right to wreck the place.
Granite 28Well now! Urist finished working and wears the widest smirk I've ever seen on a dwarf. Let's see what he's come up with.
An incredible spear bearing a remarkable image. Two dwarves kneeling before Otik, and three haunting cows of silk that stare into your very soul. What could it all symbolize?
Urist's weapon is a fine end to a long month. Since he made it, he gets to use it. Not on any of us, I hope, but for now, Urist is easily the happiest dwarf in the fort so there's little danger of that. We've seen a rough and tumble start to the year, but in time I'm sure things will level out. I was a bit harsh on my comrades in previous entries. I know the workers have some valid concerns, and they need to blow off some steam. And I'm alright with that, as long as they stay away from
F.A.I.L.S., I don't care what they do.
Ohhhh, Mountain-King. You shouldn't have done that.
Meanwhile...
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Topic: FailCannon: No Rest for the Wicked (or anyone else) (Succession: Battlefailed 2) (Read 899999 times)