I'm so happy you're all having as much fun as I am ^_^ Thanks for letting me have the second year.
Limestone 1Woodcutters spotted a winged dragon down in the caverns today. We've sealed the gate indefinitely. Enough dwarves are dying
without being lit on fire.
Limestone 3Tongsoracle, the self-referential half-million dollar cloth bag, was placed atop the Third Hand's Tower as an offering to the gods. On paper, anyway. In practice it will be witnessed only by those charged with dropping goblins off the top, and it's only there for the time so it isn't stolen.
Limestone 5A small band of migrants braved the bone-filled beach to join our cause, just in time to join our dwindling population before the dry season. NightmareBros, Mormota, Seraphim and Grov were handed their weapons and told to clean up some of our murder scenes. There was also a young furnace operator named Ledi V and wouldn't you know it, she has a cat. Fate continues to mock me.
Limestone 7The Captain of the Guard is as persistent as she is violent! She found the Third Third Hand on the Depot and, though deprived of a true weapon, still managed to finish the job her guards started last month. At least Lucus finally paid for malkomk's death. Justice, as it were, has been served.
Aik is currently issued a fancy wooden elvenmake sword, and I'm happy to report she was seen using it. She hates it, but she's using it.
Limestone 15Gilgameshclone emerged from the hospital mumbling to herself and brought a log of wood to a craftshop. I expect that whatever she creates will make good kindling for the dragon that's bound to find a way into the fortress some day.
Sandstone 8Well, damn. Urist McLost died of thirst in the hospital. Looks like That Aussie Dwarf's gravy days are in danger. Sprout's normally the one feeding patients, but I guess she's too busy desecrating graves to be bothered with that, so... Poet! You like helping others, right? No? Well, everyone else is doing something, so guess what your new job is.
Sandstone 9Gilgameshclone is now a legendary wood crafter thanks to her silly harp. She returned to the hospital quite pleased with hereself, and I admit it's nice to see a child smiling for a change.
Oh crap, that reminds me. Someone should check up on Filthywalrus.
Sandstone 15Goblin thief came through the front gate today. The Dancing Dagger killed it and was bestowed an honourable title by his comrades.
All Hail Dancing Dagger Mipe Rootedfortresses, The Painful Strong-Cat of Oil! My, does that bear repeating.
Sandstone 27I can't take this place anymore! I'm losing my mind! These ingrates don't appreciate anything I've done to keep them safe! I need a better house! Why the HELL isn't the bridge finished yet?! I Arrgghgh!
Damn it, Seth! Get a hold of yourself! Imagine if the cats saw this!
Timber 2An argument broke out between Xellas and Kaamanen at the public well. One of them cut the line or something and before you know it Kaamanen has a broken hand and Xellas is now walking around with a pick in his chest. DuckThatQuacks chased off the mad doctor and brought Kaamanen to the infirmary, where Deathsword took his own turn beating the helpless Surgeon lying in his hospital bed. It's sad to see such a noble butcher of cats fall so sharply.
Timber 6Deathsword was taken to prison early this morning. I'm happily amazed that it's finally going to use. I'm less happily amazed that Xellas still walks free.
Timber 13Well isn't that something, I pulled this unlabelled lever in the main hall and a monster from the caverns appeared on the beach and killed TerrisH! Tupu took care of the great salt beast before it could murder again, but I mean, really. Who could be fiendish enough to install such a remarkably simple and twisted defensive device?
I put a label on the lever now that I know what it does. Learning is fun.
Timber 16I don't get it. Deathsword was so happy a few months ago. What happened to him?
Poor Butcher. He was always so loyal.
* * *
Meanwhile,Far away in the Points of Grasping,in the ancient city of Graspedseduce, the dwarves arise from oppression:The clashing of swords and roaring of combat leaked through the marble walls of the Great Temple of the Order of Death, where Queen Led Shakeoars and her most trusted aides were holed up in shelter against the chaos outside. The dwarven rebels had marched on the capital, and Graspedseduce was burning.
"The dwarves have taken the last tower, Majesty! It's only a matter of time before they breach the Temple!"
Despite what should have been dire news, Led Shakeoars continued to smile her thin lips beneath the oversized hood of her robe.
"Your Majesty!"
"Ushat," she addressed her priest in a crackling voice. "Only Death may breach her Temple."
"They will arrive any moment!"
There was a flash in the Queen's weary eyes. "As the day comes to pass, this rebellion will be over. Soon my reign will be sealed."
"But your Majesty-"
"
Silence, worm. Is the offering prepared?"
"Yes, but-"
"Then bring it below."
The old man set the foul-smelling barrel down beside a pool of crystalline water. Engravings of death and demons from ancient tales stared down at him accusingly. Not for the first time in his service to the Queen, the old man felt uncertain. He stared straight ahead across the pool, where, between the images of two trees, sat an engraving of a coffin with a dark spirit hovering above. The image distracted him, branded searingly upon his thoughts.
"Now," whispered the Queen next to him.
The old man hesitated for a moment. There would be much suffering. But it was the only way to set them all free.
He opened the barrel. Inside, a putrid purple liquid rippled ominously. The old man held his breath, tried not to gag, and poured the barrel into the water, which took on a red tinge that spread through the pool like a flame.
"The lives of a thousand unborn, my Lady!" shouted the Queen as loud as her hoarse throat allowed. "We give them to you, that you may claim what is rightfully yours!"
An emerald light flickered blindingly against the marble walls. The bloodied water bubbled and boiled as though a vast heat had enshrouded it, and from the pool emerged a molten hand that grabbed hold of the old Queen, and with her body tore bursting through the temple ceiling. The royal entourage looked on aghast before the colossal limb came crashing back down on the Temple and brought it crumbling to the dusted ground, crushing everyone within.
Outside, the Queen's body tumbled onto the pavement, and fell motionless, a heap of utterly broken gore. A few loyal soldiers looked on in disbelief, and slowly approached the familiar royal robes, now tattered and stained.
The fleshy hand bored deep through the earth itself, dissolving through the ground like an insatiable acid as it seethed into the caverns, leaving behind a smoldering trail. Miles beneath the deathly Temple, passing stone engraved in a time before time, the hand of Death continued down, devouring the land as it delved.
Through the mantle of the earth itself dove the hand until it came upon the adamantine seal below, and upon their meeting came an explosion so vast and tremulous it was heard far across the continent to the far reaches of the Plains of Ooze.
The dwarves and humans abandoned their battle to the catastrophic quakes and eerie howls taking hold of the city. Soon the massive ungodly shapes of the Underworld's denizens were everywhere, shadowy blurs through the sky ripping houses and tearing trees from their roots as they bled out of sight, great salt wolves leaping from buildings to shred any victim in sight.
In minutes not a single living soul was left in the open. The terrified citizens of the city took shelter in the few spared homes while the creatures of darkness swarmed through the streets, pillaging their victims for barbaric trophies.
Later, when the sun had retreated beyond the western horizon, a hollow laughter could be heard beside the ruined Temple. Endless, breathless, the cackling rose in pitch and fervor unnaturally, ceaselessly.
Trembling with unsteady, hollow joy, the Queen of Graspedseduce slowly arose to her feet. "Thank you, my Lady, thank you," she laughed in a breathless whisper.
* * *
"Stay back! Back, I say!"
"Run for it!" Andreus yelled to Glacial as he bolted for the door. The apprentice was not far behind him as the angry shouts faded to a safe distance. "Did you see that?" the Magister yelled. "They wanted to kill me! And I only just died!" The two entered the Sanctum and bolted the door. Heaving for air, the wizard reached for a wet towel and held it to his forehead.
"The whole place has gone crazy," Glacial said. "You can't even get a bucket of water in peace anymore."
"It isn't just Failcannon. The whole Universe has gone to the madhouse. We're doomed." Andreus sank down in his chair. "We might as well hold the door wide open for the goblins and hope..."
He trailed off, staring ahead. He turned in his seat and reached to a shelf, took down a small vial of poison from the Slime Ocean, and held it to the torchlight.
"Of course. Of course. Why didn't I realize this sooner?"
"Realize what?"
"If this is a place where the worlds intersect... it makes perfect sense for Led to send dwarves
here to die. For every dwarf that dies here in the current chaos, that intersection grows wider. A great bulge is forming in a very thin line around our reality, and if it ruptures, nothing will hold the realms of life and death apart. For
any world. It's as if we're the spleen of the multiverse, about to rupture."
"That sounds bad."
"It is. But my point is, if Led knows all this, and stands to profit the way I suspect she will, then try her best she will to widen the gap. When the Seal goes for good, she'll be able to raise an army from our own dead to take the fortress from us and use the gap to traverse the worlds, conquering each with her forces as they go. She needn't ever set a foot outside Graspedseduce to do that."
Glacial turned white. "Just how many people have we buried here at Failcannon?"
"Too many. The place is as good as theirs."
The apprentice mage turned away, glancing sadly at the floor. "Curse you forever, Lur Thiefwitch!" Andreus shouted at the sky. "You've ended us all!"
"You can tell him yourself," Glacial said. "He's trapped in LordSlowpoke's basement."
Andreus blinked. "You mean it worked?"
"Oh, the summoning? Yeah."
The wizard stepped deliberately toward his apprentice. "Why-didn't-you-SAY-SO?!" he roared.
"You didn't ask!"
* * *
Moonstone 1Someone throwing a tantrum has tossed the corpse of Grath's baby across the room where it's sat since she died. Aik continued to try and administer beatings to the forge workers in the name of law and order, but soon grew disgusted with the situation and threw down her sword. Thank the stone for little things.
Moonstone 3Xellas continues to injure the other workers. I don't think he knows where he is anymore and I expect he'll be in chains any day now. Like Deathsword, whom I hear is being left to starve.
Moonstone 23ArcaneSaint has gone insane. The poor girl was seen gibbering to herself in a fetal position somewhere down in the depths of our halls.
I don't know what happened to break her spine but... ugh. Gods. These children never had a chance. Poor fools. Stupid parents, who brings their kids to a place like this? Or maybe they had about as much choice as the kids themselves?
Opal 1Things are getting quieter.
Opal 7Things are about the same.
Opal 11
SighhhhhhXellas continues his ongoing effort to murder Kaamanen. His latest attempt was with a silver bolt near the sacrificial chamber, where the molded old skeletons of the trolls still remain.
Opal 13Xellas has killed Kaamanen's dog. Whatever the Combat Surgeon did to piss off the Doctor Mechanic so badly, it needs to stop. If this is still because of that petty squabble at the well, I'll have them both shot down. I HATE THIS PLACE SO GOD DAMN MUCH
Okay, deep breaths. Just have to remind myself of all the silver we have. Wonderful, wonderful silver.
Opal 14The workers are starting to take their fight to the Fortress Guard again. Poet's trying to kill Aik in the warehouse as I write this. I'm not sure what's worse, the guards killing the people or the people killing each other. At least they all wait their turn.
In other news, it took me some time to realize Derm the Glassmaker was wandering the halls without a purpose but was not actually picking a fight with anyone. A little investigation revealed that all glass furnaces were in ruin thanks to Ledi IV's revolt, and once they were rebuilt, Derm wasted no time in getting back to work. Good ol' Derm, he makes me glad. This place can't be a total ruin as long as dwarves are still feeling inspired.
He's gathered some glass and is heading now for some wood. I hope he makes a giant glass spike I can use to trap my quarters once I lock myself inside forever and escape from this lunatic dungeon.
Opal 16Lupusater has stabbed Nightmarebros in the foot outside the meeting hall. It's dangerous to go alone. Everyone is recommended to travel armed at all times, if even only with a wooden sword.
Opal 20nonobots went berserk in the hospital, tried to throttle Little McArthur. Poet was sent to break up the fight and did so ruthlessly. This is a fortress of nightmares, a festering sore on the face of the planet. Were the sea to swallow us up the world would be safer.
Opal 23Deathsword died of thirst in prison while LordSlowpoke looked on, guzzling a barrel of wine right in front of him. She'll make a fine doctor someday.
Opal 28Damn it, Poet. You've strayed a long way from Tongsoracles, you bloodthirsty weaver.
I can't technically order him killed because he's not technically going berserk. I've been wondering why Aik isn't dealing with this ruffian but she's been very conveniently asleep throughout his entire rampage. Looks like it's time to swell the ranks of the Guard again.
Obsidian 1It's grown so quiet here. Only the sounds of the sea can be heard when you're outside. Everything is so tidy now. Such a lovely lie.
All right, Poet, that's it. As Overseer I'm now officially seeking an end your life.
Obsidian 2I think I know what's happening now. With Aik asleep and no one else in the Guard, Poet took it upon himself to enforce the law. You know, that set of rules supposed to keep people safe. Then he got upset with seeing people die and just started killing whatever got in his way. A strange but dwarven psychology. Every day you learn something new, like why it's bad to let dwarves with adamantine grow unhappy.
Obsidian 3Still prowling about the warehouse, Poet made the mistake of attacking Tupu while the Champion was getting a new flask.
That was a
big mistake. And so Tupu saves the fortress once again, this time from our psychotic weaver. I'm glad Tupu's still of sound mind. Poet is now a wrangled mess on the floor and I don't suspect he'll live much longer.
Obsidian 5Poet has died from his hammer injuries alone and not at all from Mipe stabbing him through the heart to make sure he couldn't be hospitalized.Poet has died. Rest in peace, Creator of Tongsoracle. May you find in death the sanity this place took from you.
Obsidian 6Somebody vandalized Derm's glass furnace and dumped magma on his wonderful masterpiece-in-progress. Derm took one look at the ruined workshop and completely lost his mind. Rest in peace, Derm, in advance. I can't believe anyone would do that to a moody dwarf! That's about the lowest you can go. For shame, you murderous vandals. Now we'll never get that worthless glass trumpet I was so looking forward to.
Obsidian 8Xellas is still on the loose. Today he turned his rage on Ledi V, and for a novice fighter she defended herself well.
The way she bit and scratched, I imagine she learned how to fight from her animal. Oh, did I mention that LAAT and the insane glassmaker somehow got involved in this?
Oh, Derm didn't use his own axe, that's probably wherever he left his clothes. No, he used the axe that LAAT had just stuck into his chest as he was walking by babbling to himself. LAAT bled to death from a mangled heart soon afterwards and Xellas followed his example after Ledi stuck his throat.
So LAAT and xellas are both dead, Ledi's unscathed, Derm is doomed no matter how impressive, the entire hallway is FILLED with blood and I've buried my face in my hands for the past hour. It's only half past noon, but when I return to my quarters I'm going to bed.
Obsidian 12I found Filthywalrus today.
* * *
It was the twelfth of Obsidian when the goblins came for Failcannon. No ordinary goblins, bred from the darkest bowels of the Underworld, their red eyes gleamed in the direction of the fortress as their leader Stozu let out a booming laugh.
"Ustol na ospo asto!" he roared. The goblins clapped their weapons down on the shale and marched forward. To the north, the second squad was wading through the flooding water pouring forth from the front gate. There was no way inside, but it mattered not. They would wait until the dwarves had no choice but to fight for their trade. Or simply let them all starve to death. Stozu smiled. Queen Led would reward them all well in the new world to come.
"Open the inner floodgates!" came the call from within the fort. A great waterfall surged out into the ravine overlooking the trade entrance. The invaders fell back to the beach above, driven off by the stink of the Blueness.
As the invaders gathered together by the gate, the day suddenly darkened. The tides assembled to rage against the rocks as the winds of storm began to brew. Soon the horizon blackened and as lightning coursed along the clouds, a dazzling luminescence rumbled through the air as two great dark eyes appeared in the sky.
Deep within the fortress, Andreus was shrieking with growing impatience at the sad-looking ghost floating above. "Come on, Thiefwitch! You have to remember! We're running out of time!"
"All is lost," the ghost bemoaned. "Everything comes to an end."
Andreus screamed his frustration, grabbed the chain and tossed it out of the room. Lur's ghost was dragged along like a paper doll and fell straight through the floor, through which his sobbing could be heard.
"It can't end this way!" the wizard screamed. "There must be a way out!"
From the sundered sky issued forth an emerald bolt of lightning that coursed through the sand and shocked the very stone surrounding the fortress. A section of rock gave way to the plasmic fire and a great ledge of shale smashed its way through half of the fortress before coming to a stop in the ocean below.
The rock came back through the ground, clutching a writhing dwarf screaming bedlam as the stones carried him far into the sky. The unblinking eyes in the sky narrowed down and a low voice, barely a whisper, nonetheless rose above the chanting of the goblins and the roaring of the storm to be heard by everyone present.
"Hello, dwarves. This is your Queen, Led Shakeoars. You have done well in building this fortress, but your service is no longer needed. The Lady of Death for whom I speak requires only your corpses. We shall begin now with that of the one who calls himself your Overseer, your leader. You have only one leader now." The rocks surrounding the dwarf in the sky glowed with a red intensity, then collapsed together in an explosion louder and more terrible than any mortal ears had heard before.
Panicked shouts picked up throughout the fort. As the dust settled from the blast, another plasmic bolt came crashing upon the beach from the sky. From the sand grew forth a sinister structure with shards of bone clawing around the ivory walls and sinewy strands woven across it.
"You are all the first sacrifices to the New World," whispered the Queen's voice. "Failcannon is now the High Temple of the Order of Death. And soon your bones shall kneel before us too!"
The broken masses of the undead defeated on the beach stirred once again, and as the sky glowed with hellish fire and the sea darkened and bubbled like pitch, hobbling their shattered pieces, one by one, the skorses knelt as one before the unholy monument.
"This isn't happening," Andreus chuckled. "It's not real! Not real!"
"Start bringing people back to life!" Glacial screamed. "There's still time!"
"I can't!" Andreus laughed loudly. "This body's no good for magic!"
"O cruel destiny," Lur's voice pleaded aloud. "O fettered Gods. Only watch us disappear!"
"Teach me the secret! I can try!"
"There isn't enough time!"
"More time," Lur begged to the air. "We need more time..."
"Glacial," Andreus said. "Get me the Journal!" He looked at his apprentice, who stood with his back turned, staring at the wall. "Glacial?"
As the apprentice turned around, Andreus gasped in shock.
* * *
"Ura."
The skeletal goddess turned around to face the speaker who'd managed to startle her. Her grin shone out from out the black cloak she wore as she observed the Windy World from the hollow skull atop her lofty Tower in the Plains of Ooze, the Tower looking over the fortress once known as Battlefailed.
"Why Thoth." Death held her bony palm out to the sea. "Are you hear to pledge alliegence at my hour of victory?"
"No." The godling crossed his arms as emerald lightning rent the sky. "You've gone too far, again. You need to be stopped."
"I see," Ura grinned. "All the others have fled or been cast down. But I expect you are going to stop me yourself?"
"No," Thoth said. He pointed behind. "I have help."
Ura's grin seemed to widen. "Little god, I am very old. I've known Lur a very long time. You cannot trick me with such foolishness."
As the great Toad pounded upon the dark goddess from behind and sent her sprawling, Thoth leapt forward, seizing his one opportunity, that singular moment of surprise, his form shimmering and transforming in mid-air. With a roar, he fell upon Death with lion's jaws.
In a greenish flare and an incoherent howl, the skeletal deity slackened and fled the Windy World. Her skeletal body dissolving, without a body here, for now, at least, Ura could no longer directly mingle in mortal affairs. The mortals were gifted with time, and hopefully that was enough. The great Toad, duty served, croaked and returned to his watery home in the caves until needed again.
Thoth struggled to drag his lion's form to its feet. The energies released by Ura's banishment would mean his own life was soon to end, but if the Seal could be restored, then he would not be lost forever. In peace, as the lapping of ocean waves took over his consciousness, Thoth curled into a ball and mutely died.
* * *
"What is it?" Glacial asked, bewildered. "What's wrong?"
"I don't know?" Andreus looked at the shoe he was wielding aloft. "Weren't you just a skeleton?"
"Was I?"
A terrible cry split through the ears of everyone in the fort, then faded away.
"What in Lur's name is that?" wondered Glacial.
"A chance," the ghost of Thiefwitch moaned.
Obsidian 12, Winter Solstice
Fortress Log, AnonymousThe Overseer is dead. Goblins are everywhere outside. Something very strange has just taken place, but for now, I think, the weather has cleared...
Poll
281 (87.8%)
Author
Topic: FailCannon: No Rest for the Wicked (or anyone else) (Succession: Battlefailed 2) (Read 899940 times)