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Total Members Voted: 319

[Darvi]

I was in a state of homicidal fury for a few days and wasn't in a mood for playing.

To make up for it, I'll write an interlude.

[LordSlowpoke]

Homicidal fury is the mood to play DF in. But that's just my opinion.

[Darvi]

Interlude:

Somewhere outside the fortress walls, unknown to the dwarves, an army of darkness has been raised, to raze the place from the world maps.
Apparently, even enemy goblins find the place to unbearable to live in. Or maybe they were hoping for some easy riches by attacking a weakened fort.
Leading the troops was Azstrog Blazescorpions, a Hammerlord of much renown. She's not the tallest goblin there is, but makes up for it with her muscles and fiendish cunning.

"Listen you wimps!", she shouts in the goblin tongue(in which she's surprisingly eloquent, despite the stereotypes.). "We're about to make lay siege to the most dangerous place around!  They may have told you that there's hardly any of those beards left!" The crowd murmured in agreement, maybe even with joy. "But don't let your guard down! There's horrors of the deep, countless traps, the Undead, a veritable labyrinth of death! And one of beards is said to be a real monster, crueler than any other of its kin! It is said that it was possessed by a daemon, and started to shred apart the others with its bear claws! I mean, bare claws."

She stared at the weaker goblins. Most of them were marksmen, and they didn't look too keen on going hand to hand with a crazy dwarf.
"But!", Azstrog continued, "you have been chosen for this attack because you are the best of the best! Together, we have nothing to fear! Together, We can destroy anything.
When we work together, Failcannon! WILL! FAAAAAAAALLLLL!!!!"

Due to the psychological effect of teamwork, the goblins' mood lifted  quite a lot. Some joined in the shouting, while others lifted their crosbows and bows into the air. After all, with so many other people around, the probability of any given goblin to get killed is slim.

After the crowd calmed down, the hammerlord continued: "So, any more questions?"
A humble crossbowgoblin in the front row raised his hand.
"Yes?"
"Uh... I dunno but..."
"Come on ma, out with it!"

Spoiler: "But isn't the entrance to the fortress on the other side of this wall?" (click to show/hide)

And that's how my dwarf got the profession of a "Lucky SOB"

[derekiv]

Skip me please. I've lost interest in DF ATM

[The Master]

If the fort somehow lives long enough(1 in 9999999999999 chance), AND if you're still open to more people, I'd like to take a turn. IF yes(*crosses fingers*), I'll dwarf myself on my turn.

[arcangelsd]

If the fort somehow lives long enough(1 in 9999999999999 chance), AND if you're still open to more people, I'd like to take a turn. IF yes(*crosses fingers*), I'll dwarf myself on my turn.

Nah, 1 in 9999999999999 chance is a too high chance. If we are speaking of battlefailed it is.

[Urist Imiknorris]

Don't you guys know how one-in-a-million chances work in fiction?

[Darvi]

Saxon wants to take over the fort?

I cannot let that happen.

[ThatAussieGuy]

Saxon wants to take over the fort?

I cannot let that happen.

But he seems good... I guess.... *tap-tap-tap-tap*

[Darvi]

"Took yer bloody time did ya."
"Sorry, but we were busy cleaning up the place. And then there's the ghosts, and there's only five of us..."
"And it didn't occur to you even once to lower the drawbridge?"
"Well that's the thing, we appear to have misplaced the lever..."
No comment. But Urist really looks like she has no clue. "Who's in charge of the place right now anyway?"
"Nobody is. We're an autonomous collective."
"Stop fooling yourself", Dariush interrupts. "This is a dictatorship. A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes-"
"Quit  the random nonsense and tell  me who the mayor is."
"We don't have a mayor", Urist replies.
"What."
"I told you.  We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune.  We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week."
"Uh..."
"But all the decision of that officer-"
"Listen, I was told Catalyst was the mayor here-"
"Well she's a madwoman ain't she. We left her to her delusions and locked her up with a buncha food and booze. She's not doing much aside from punching the crap outta some training dummies."
"No wonder you don't get anything done."
"Well at least we don't going around oppressing people. Dariush here has spent months in prison because she stood up to the violence inherent to the system."
"Excuse me, but I suddenly remember that I'm very hungry and tired and that I need a drink right now."
Well. Back to square one I think.
It started with seven. And I sure hope that it doesn't end with us seven either.

[Eric Blank]

Good to see this is still going. Updates for the update gods!

[ThatAussieGuy]

"Well at least we don't going around oppressing people. Dariush here has spent months in prison because she stood up to the violence inherent to the system."

Dariush stood up against the violence inherent in the system.  So we beat the crap out of him and stuck him in a prison cell to think about the irony.

So who's alive/dorfed at this point?

[Darvi]

You, me, Dariush, Urist, Mormota, Mekboy, and Calaclyst.

[Darvi]

While we're at it, we have currently 6 available dwarves, so we gotta do some job management.

Spoiler: Here's what we've got. (click to show/hide)

Anybody have any preferences?

[ThatAussieGuy]

You put me in charge of animal training?  What're the odds my dwarf's implanting keywords and suggestions in their minds for a future uprising?