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Author Topic: The Dear Urist McAbby thread  (Read 1721 times)


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The Dear Urist McAbby thread
« on: August 30, 2010, 08:47:34 pm »

Dear Urist McAbby,

There are two dwarves in my fortress (we'll call them Ashley and Troy) that have been "lovers" for a decade! They just can't seem to take that final leap, even though they are constantly hosting parties and are a general socializing force of nature. I think the problem is that these two live in a Deon Genesis mod fort, and she is the psychiatrist. Ashley on the other hand, is an Obsidian Dwarf with very little to do other than the occasional pumping and engraving duties. Nothing all that common in a 10 year old fort! (the last of the pump stacks yet to be automated have been delayed just so he can get a small amount of work). My question is, how can I get them to finally commit?

 - Hopeless Matchmaker

Dear Flaede,

It sounds like "Ash" either has fears of commitment, or he is not looking for that kind of relationship.  It may be that he stays around "Troy" merely to get his rocks off. 

Does he spend long nights down damp, dark tunnels with other dwarves?  Has he been seen stroking his beard with other lady dwarves?  Or perhaps he spends his time with a barrel of ale, waving his pick around in public?  "Why buy the maggot if he can get the milk for free" as they say. 

On the other hand you say he hasn't had regular work.  It could be that he has lost confidence in his ability to pump effectively.  If Troy offered to help him do some off-hours pumping, just for fun, it could boost his self-esteem and he might come around. 

Either way, if I were Troy, I'd tell him he needs to face up to some real commitment or he can put his Plump Helmet somewhere else.

Urist McAbbey
I don't understand, though that is about right with anything DF related.
I just hope he dies the same death that all dwarfs deserve: liver disease.
The legend of Reg:
Atir Stigildegel, Legless Hero of Diamondrelic:


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Re: The Dear Urist McAbby thread
« Reply #1 on: August 30, 2010, 11:40:12 pm »

I lol'd


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Re: The Dear Urist McAbby thread
« Reply #2 on: August 31, 2010, 06:07:51 am »

:D Wonderful!
And such good advice for poor Troy.
Toady typically doesn't do things by half measures.  As evidenced by turning "make hauling work better" into "implement mine carts with physics".
There are many issues with this statement.