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Author Topic: Out of context and funny quotes thread. 15000 posts and still chugging.  (Read 1537994 times)

Amperzand

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Really, *ANY* sugarless candy containing large amounts of Maltitol will do this.  This has led me to the notion that one can brutally destroy an office with the following culinary delight, but I have so far not been brave enough to test it.

1) Procure some tasty Fiber One bars. These are surprisingly tasty, but DEADLY. The one time I foolishly ate one, I had deep colon gas production that could sustain 15 second farts, in rapid succession. It was unpleasant. VERY unpleasant.  They are however, quite tasty. Like a Granola bar.

2) Procure some sugar free soft caramels. Yes, they do indeed exist.

3) Procure some sugar free marshmallow creme. This looks especially horrible. Ingredients prominently list Innulin, a chickory root fiber-- the very stuff found in the fiber one bar. I don't think I need to explain further.

4) Procure some sugar free chocolate.

5) Procure some Olestra. (Hard to find these days, but used to be sold under the Olean brand name.) It is Infamous in its side effects.

Crunch up the fiber one bars, and pretend you are making rice crispy treats, only using Olestra instead of butter (optional, add some artificial butter flavor, but use sparingly.), and using the sugar free marshmallow cream. Once all baked up, drizzle the confection squares with the sugar free caramel and chocolate.

TELL NO ONE what they are made from. Place them inconspicuously on a festive paper platter, in a well traveled area. Place a dish of sugar free gummybears in close proximity.

Bonus points if you do this about 20 minutes before the scheduled team meetings.
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Muh FG--OOC Thread
Quote from: smirk
Quote from: Shadowlord
Is there a word that combines comedy with tragedy and farce?
Heiterverzweiflung. Not a legit German word so much as something a friend and I made up in German class once. "Carefree despair". When life is so fucked that you can't stop laughing.
http://www.collinsdictionary.com

Dermonster

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On one hand, that really doesn't fit here.

On the other, I desperately want to try this.

Hmmm.
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I can do anything I want, as long as I accept the consequences.
"Y'know, my favorite thing about being a hero is that it gives you all kinds of narrative justification to just slay any ol' jerk who gets in the way - Black Mage.
"The bulk of [Derm]'s atrocities seem to stem from him doing things that [Magic] doesn't actually do." - TvTropes
"Dammit Derm!" - You, if I'm doing it right.
Moved to SufficientVelocity / Spacebattles.

AzyWng

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1) Procure some tasty Fiber One bars. These are surprisingly tasty, but DEADLY.

Here we are.
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Akura

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1) Procure some tasty Fiber One bars. These are surprisingly tasty, but DEADLY.

Here we are.

Missed the best one.
I had deep colon gas production that could sustain 15 second farts, in rapid succession. It was unpleasant. VERY unpleasant.  They are however, quite tasty. Like a Granola bar.
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Quote
They asked me how well I understood theoretical physics. I told them I had a theoretical degree in physics. They said welcome aboard.
... Yes, the hugs are for everyone.  No stabbing, though.  Just hugs.

Yoink

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I just came very close to choking on my coffee.   
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Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

wierd

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If it doesnt taste like Granola bar, it wasn't me! :P
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AzyWng

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Damn him. Is he dead? Or just a bit mangled?
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WillowLuman

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Quote from: suddenly appeared on a rather benign feed
I'd definitely have an orgy with the discord I use
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Dwarf Souls: Prepare to Mine
Keep Me Safe - A Girl and Her Computer (Illustrated Game)
Darkest Garden - Illustrated game. - What mysteries lie in the abandoned dark?

redwallzyl

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Quote
Now that's an Anschluss I can get behind
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Imic

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1) Procure some tasty Fiber One bars. These are surprisingly tasty, but DEADLY.
I had deep colon gas production that could sustain 15 second farts, in rapid succession. It was unpleasant. VERY unpleasant.  They are however, quite tasty. Like a Granola bar.
Sigged.
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Imic's no longer allowed to vote.
Quote from: smyttysmyth
Well aren't you cheery
Quote cabinet
Regrets every choice he made and makes, including writing this here.

DolosusDoleus

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Does that make scientific sense? No? Well, it's Earth IV and he's a giant crocodile-man. Use your imagination.
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Does that make scientific sense? No? Well it's Earth IV and he's a giant crocodile-man. Use your imagination.
Ongoing Forum Thingamajiggers:
Wikipedia Wars: Revengance

Imic

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Not sure if dying of old age is an honor or a shame for weaponmasters. On the one hand, it means they never got the opportunity to die in glorious battle. On the other hand, it means nothing could beat them in glorious battle.
I know this is self explanatory, but it's a damn good quote all the same.
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Imic's no longer allowed to vote.
Quote from: smyttysmyth
Well aren't you cheery
Quote cabinet
Regrets every choice he made and makes, including writing this here.

FallacyofUrist

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Yes, I will gladly corrupt his speakers into audio-shitposting.
Technically, you killed ATHATH.
Try to point it out before another giant portal swallows it.
Well, you can't now; now I'm giraffes.
Only Rowrowrowyourboat Gentlydownthestreamman died, but only in the Milkverse. In Emprahsque-verse he's fine.
Seriously, ATHATH, we need to have an intervention about your death mug problem.
My quote army consumes you! Arranged for maximum laughs, beware their deadly attention grabbing!
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Generic Arms Race.

Would you like to play a game of Mafia? The subforum is always open to new players.

Yoink

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I climbed to the front of the ship only to realize there was no more front of the ship.
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Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

Strider03

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Quote from: {From discord}
Hatchetman - Today at 9:12 PM
It means that we have successfully made the shape of the greedy and all consuming hole of Warfare adapt to the shapes of our science boners
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Within that world, she was God. But here, outside of it, her name was Yoake o-Shiri. That was unimportant. She was a Godslayer. That too was unimportant. But what was important, was that she had a motherfucking boat.
And by God, was she going to use it.

"But deceleration is for pansies. We're headed for the stars. Bye, Burnsie. Bye, Mission Control. Bye, Sol. See you at heat death" -Blindsight
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